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AnotherBrokenDoll

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  1. AnotherBrokenDoll
    I read this before. the amount of times people say that to people. Its quite hurtful after a while. I'm glad you posted it. If you hear things like that for a long time you begin to take it to heart but to hear someone else speaking up on it gives hope that some people don't say all that. So thanks
  2. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Thats it though sometimes my clothes are so loose they are falling off and other times they are quite tight or at least very fitted. It might be my cycle i guess. And yes i have started The Pill recently (well for the second time) but the doctor explained some things about it to me and so i've been kind of carefull to not eat everything in the house lol. I do eat quite healthy. though i admit i could do alot better if i didn't have friends constintly with me lol. I eat very healthy at home. But yea.
  3. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Oh gee i hate possitions like that it sucks. But please be careful. You really do not want to hurt your mate and you will if you ask her for her friends phone number ok. So be tactful. Maybe see if someone else is friends with this girl and ask them. Do anything but do not get (as ellie said) your friend in the middle. It'll be hard enough watching you go after her friend, without being caught up in it to.
  4. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Ok well i need a little help. Lately my weight keeps going up and down. At one point i had lost 4 kilos but then it has gone back up. I don't understand it. I haven't been starving myself then eating again do it isn't that. Its just weird. So any advice on what it could be and how to keep it off would be lovely. Thanks rozie xoxox
  5. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Oh so true flower99, Seriously people make a fuss over it because they know what you are getting yourself into. They know what it can cause. Sure for now it looks like an easy way to get rid of the pain for a little while. But soon it will be another cause for pain.You'll know what you're doing is wrong but have no idea how to fight it. So trust me this is a big deal.
  6. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Guessing you were meaning my old one? Then yeah thats me. Thanks, wish i could believe that though. Thankyou arwen for your advice, I guess deep down i understand it, though its hard to comprehend. I've hated mytself for so long and its hard to believe that i can be ok again, and proud and all those things. Though i do know its possible. Well thankyou anyway
  7. AnotherBrokenDoll
    wow Charley, that was amazing! It really was. I'm so sorry to hear your story though. Sometimes women (myself admitedly included) don't realise the pain they put people through. I'm not just talking about love here. But then i guess it isn't just women its the human kind. We all take things for granted, all screw up, all hurt others and all get hurt. Massari, I really enjoyed your poem. It hurts so much to be * * * * *ed by the thorns over and over again. Not all women are full of thorns, there are roses without thorns to you know. I guess just remember that and don't judge one woman on what another has done. Although i know that is hard sometimes. My advice (though that of a 15 year old proboly isn't that great), never give up, never give in. Just because some have hurt you, it doesn't mean that others will. You've proboly broken hearts to without realising it. So just be careful. On the same note though, live for more. Don't live to find a woman, live to be who you are. Sometimes when you aren't looking the best things happen. Thats said from experience to. So get out there, hang out with mates, laugh to much and die proud of what you've been.
  8. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Please i know the urges but don't start, don't go down that path. I read this email a while ago and i wish i could find it for you but i can't so i'll just tell you about it. It basicaly went into everything you will do once you start SIing. Things like drawing away from people, constintly trying to cover scars and having to wear long pants and long sleaved shirts even in the summer. I've been part of that life for 3 years... Don't waste your life. Once you start you will never be treated the same. Friends will back away and not want to be apart of your life and the few who stay you will push away. You'll be left alone. Then when you stop (if you can find a way to which is possible but can take a very long time) people will always be watching you and still talking about you. You'll always be talked about and some of those scars may never fade. So darl if you don't want to lose your friends or your partner please don't go there. He is right that the rubber band can then lose effect and you'll want something more painfull (just my opinion though). Talk about whats wrong. Talk about whats making you do this. Write about it, anything but don't go to SI. It makes for problems for the time being but when you remember they hurt more, plus you've then got more things to worry about. Good luck and please keep us posted, let us help.
  9. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Yeah, i don't wanna go there. I'm a christian and i don't care if i sound all boring or whatever but i'm not into the getting drunk seen. I want to do it once so i'm not always tempted and stuff but after that i don't wanna go there.
  10. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Thanks both of you. I've never written a song before and although it started as another poem soon i had a little tune in my head and everything lol. But thankyou both so much
  11. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Thanks so much That made me feel so much better And i guess you're right but it would be nice to have nana talk to Cherry (my sister) about how well i did instead of the other way all the time. But i guess i have time to make that happen.
  12. AnotherBrokenDoll
    More of a song i guess i hope you like it. Early in the morning, I think of you, Your face is all around, Theres no one else but you. Then later in the afternoon, I look i around to find, My sweetheart, oh my baby, She's so far behind. Theres still a smile on her face, Theres a crack in her heart, She just doesn't realise, No she ain't that smart. I love you hunny, More then any other girl, Yet still you sit and wait, Pretty as a pearl. When will that pretty face of yours, See theres more then you think to me, No i ain't your average girl, Not the sorta girl you'll always see. Theres still a smile on her face, Theres a crack in her heart, She just doesn't realise, No she ain't that smart. I see your hidden tears, Yeah i see your broken shell, I want to fix your heart, I just wish i'd caught you before you fell. Oh baby i want to help you, Open up your eyes, Let you see whats around you, Want to answer to your cries. Theres still a smile on her face, Theres a crack in her heart, She just doesn't realise, No she ain't that smart. I won't let you go, No sweetie you'll never be alone, Just follow me, Soon there'll be no reason to moan. Happiness will flow around us, Darling i'm make you smile, Yeah your joy can last, For more then just a little while. Theres still a smile on her face, Theres a crack in her heart, She just doesn't realise, No she ain't that smart. Yet still she walks away, Tears run down those cheeks, They are the sorta tears, That will last more then a few weeks. Yeah and those scars on her wrists, They may never fade, Yet no one truly knows, Why they were ever made. Theres still a smile on her face, Theres a crack in her heart, She just doesn't realise, No she ain't that smart. Theres still a smile on her face, Theres a crack in her heart, She just doesn't realise, No she ain't that smart.
  13. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Thanks, and deep down i know all that i do but its just still hard. Iwant to make people proud of me but nothing i do seems to work if i get a pretty good mark then nana just says well thats ok but maybe next time you can get an A+. I can't always get As and as hard as i try i suck at some subjects. I mean i didn't fail anything and i haven't since i've started putting effort in. I mostly get Bs i know i should get higher in some subjects but come on its not like a Bs something i should hide in shame. But thats how nana acts. Half the time it feels like my friends wish i wasn't there. I don't know maybe i'm just moaning over absolutely nothing. Not looking to the positives like i tell everyone else to do. But i just feel so hurt all the time. I don't know anymore... I can't not put up a front. I don't want to be that annoying person thats always upset, i want people to think i'm fun to be with. But it feels like i'm only fun to be with cuz they can pay me out. I say some dumb stuff i know that. But sometimes it feels like people don't take me seriously anymore.
  14. AnotherBrokenDoll
    You are very helpful ellie, im sorry i keep posting the same threads, you must get annoyed sometimes and i wish i could stop it. Nothing really happened... Well i lie... I'm not coping so well with my dog having to get put down... I've tried not to mention it but it happened 6 days before christmas and i just don't know what to do. Its silly i know but when the rest of the house was angry... When all my family is yelling at me, telling me im to fat and to dumb then she was there. She even bit my mother after she hit me once. It was awesome. We were never separated. I know its dumb but i always thought she'd last forever. But she didn't and i don't know what to do. I thought i could just pretend its not their. But my friend had to put her dog down the other day and she was saying about how much it hurt and i can't take it. I just can't. I want to be perfect and i can't be, i want my doggy back but she can't come back, i want to understand but i can't!
  15. AnotherBrokenDoll
    But see when i do that i get critised and get told i'm just a stupid attention seeker, and i don't want people to think that of me. I hate the thought that the people who are my "friends" have said that behind my back and to my face. I'm not like that at all. And besides sometimes masking them makes them easier to deal with, and even if i want to talk i can't. I try but sometimes i just can't.
  16. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Why? I don't get it over and over again i hurt myself and the people i love and i don't get it. I keep cutting. Sometimes its easy to pretend that i'm fine and that i would never do omething like that again, but people don't realise i will. I don't want to cause the sorta seen i did over the past 3 years.... But i do want to stop. I keep saying it but nothing seems to work. I'll stop for a few weeks, or a month or maybe more but i'll always go back to it. Fallouts right... I am a fake. I just don't want to go back to that. Sometimes pretending is easier then facing up. Sometimes i just want people to see the side of me that people want to see. Not the side of me that makes everyone run. I don't even get whats going on anymore. I can be happy then so sad and it takes nothing at all... I just don't get it. I'm finding it hard to listen in class already and this is only my second week! Please help me, i'm out of ideas.
  17. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Thats amazing, you have done really well. Break ups really suck i'm glad you're over her now though. Plus a good song came out of it to
  18. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Really good i liked it.
  19. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Ahhhhhhhh the bats are gonna eat me I'm kidding don't worry. Thanks i know... I think i know whats behind it but i'm not sure and i sound dumb posting it if its not. I know it sounds dumb already but i always have had these and i just... I don't know, want them to go away... Is that so bad? I'll try the things that have been recomended for sure though.
  20. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Haha me and lil is sooooo not CUTE! and thanks Its cuz i love you guys!
  21. AnotherBrokenDoll
    lol i txted it to them the other day And yeah i get what you mean. These girls so coulda left me when i got down and stayed down but no they were always there and listened to me and didn't complain. I owe them my life. If i hadn't had them to live for i doubt i'd be here.
  22. AnotherBrokenDoll
    I wrote this for my 3 best mates in the world. Loving you Cher, Liz and Shay. Mates will come, But mates will go, Though true friendship you shall know. Not only laughter, Not only smiles, True friendship through the darkest miles. In times of pain, When i've felt slain, You were never far. When these eyes did cry, When my spirit did die, Knowing theres always a star. To kill the darkness, To slaughter pain, Forever friends, Only happiness to gain. So what ya think?
  23. AnotherBrokenDoll
    No none that made the nightmares more significant or anything... Thanks Haven for that it was really insightful. And as i've said these have been going on for a while so i don't know. But i'll definitely read up on all that now thanks!
  24. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Jaffa thanks for the advice everything is helpful to me right now And as to hellfrost and Kevin T No i haven't been super busy but i do have alot of trouble sleeping alot. I can just never get to sleep until the next afternoon sometimes. And that not exactly convinent as i have to do homework and school starts up soon. I guess i am a bit stressed but i'm always stressed so i can't really help that.
  25. AnotherBrokenDoll
    Well i've seen there have been a few threads on dreams and i need a little help with mine. I have really graphic nightmares. I won't go into detail but bad things happen in them and i nearly always end up killed never pleasently. Now its effecting the way i see the world. If i'm by myself walking around i look at every car and think some guys are gonna attack me or something.This has been going on for a long time now and i'm sick of it. They nearly always have something to do with my dad (who i don't know) as a twist. I scare myself so badly i can't move in bed incase "someone sees my movements". I know it sounds crazy and weird but i'm really worried these dreams aren't going away and i don't know how to make them stop. Also they used to be my doctors hurting me as well..
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