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gratefulpain

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  1. gratefulpain
    let me add.. she rarley acknowledged the litle nice things i did.... I live in the north and the bathroom is always freezing in the morning I would get up ealier crank the heat so the bathroom would be nice and toasty for her. or warm up her car.. or make coffee every morning.. or always give her the nicer piece of steak...things that made me feel like I was a good bf always went unaknowledged
  2. gratefulpain
    12 days now........... yesterday i cooked for myself for the first time since breakup... I am eating again... strict NC... I called her Sunday and told her her appliances etc. are place nicely on my porch and she can come get them. I have not asnwered phone calls not responded to text messages. She caled me childish and hurtful by not wanting to talk to her......To cope I have been staying busy.. I been going to Borders Books everyday and reading everyhing I can get my hands on about healing a broken heart.... I stay busy till I get so tired I look forward to sleeping ....before I go to bed I pray for my family and friends everyone on here and I pray that all her dreams come true and she live a happy healthy life.... then I say to myself I made it another day which brings me one more day closer to feeling 100% again....
  3. gratefulpain
    sukerbut nailed it....first of we know what youre going through....we all been there, so we understand your bouncing everywhere emotionaly... you have this fantasy about winning her back and live happily ever after..... Think about this..... If you walk on someone ,, you kind of expect them to say "screw you" and never look back... but if they dont you loose respect for them.... and planted in the back of their head they know they can do it again.... so say you do get back she knows she has a longer leash,,, then you'll kick yourself...for being a fool again.....maybe maybe not..... i dont want to steer you wrong... jsut been there..... Some times the best action is no action...I wouldnt play games thye usually backfire atleast for me.... I would NC for awhile, if she asks tell her youre taking some quiet time for a bit to sort things out and work on yourself... But Nc is wothless if you constantly communicate either online of text whatever or check up on her .. drive by... ask a friend.... NC means you swithc the entie focus to you and your healing....
  4. gratefulpain
    Hello...day 12 of breakup. I have really took an active approach to my recovery.Some days are better than others, On the way home from work It all came crashing in and I cried a bit. I kept wondering why this happens why does my mind stay strong and mature one day and the next I feel like crawling under a rock and waste away. I read that we tend to put the signifigant other on a pedestal and play old tapes of the good times cuddling, having fun, romance etc... I decided to write what annoyed me about her so I could look at it in times of despair... readers feel free to post similar... sounds dumb but I need to see what i'm not missing too.. top 3 1. She always made me feel like I was an idiot and point out the smallest thing that I wasnt doing right, for example washing the dishes couldnt do that right.. washing clothes "let me do it" you always screw it up..."gee how long does it take to put up drywall?" and "you didnt rinse the tub all the way, how hard is it to do that?" 2. I saw you looking at that chick, what do you want her, you think she's pretty? What were you watching before I came in Spanish channel, looking at those bimbos? why is the history deleted on the computer what were you surfing for porn? How come you didnt call on lunch? have a date with a chick from work? 3. tearing up the house when we would argue (twice a month) average. she would go balistic and slam doors over and over, I have no door jams in my upstairs, i her little fits hse broke a window, my cell phone,the bathroom mirror, the CD player , and the house phone in the course of two years. wow that suxxs to look at.... now when I get all sad and bummed I can look at what I'm missing.
  5. gratefulpain
    BOBtail i agree with you 100% I stopped at the video store every now and agin jsut to browse a high end magazine...nothing slutty... and my Gf freaked out completely... I told her itsd just a guy thing and A. i wasnt cheating B. not going to strip clubs and C; love you very much.... she stayed mad for weeks
  6. gratefulpain
    volunteer, it will help you feel good when you help others.. plus make new friends
  7. gratefulpain
    I would have a long talk over cofee perhaps even romantic setting.. tell her how you feel... I used to stuff my feelings and concerns to avoid arguing and it got me no where
  8. gratefulpain
    youre out of quarantine.. now youre allowed to go out in the general public... good luck.. congrats on your spiritual awakening
  9. gratefulpain
    good motivation, be careful not to obsess with her opnion of you...I did that once and the girl moved and never saw the new me....
  10. gratefulpain
    2 soon..... get to know yourself and like yourself all by yourself.... then consider heavy dating... i would slow down a bit and take it slow... im not a expert but have seen these type of rebound relationships rarley work out...they actually stunt our growth...and we never find out the lesson from the relationship prior.. but friends is cool take it slow
  11. gratefulpain
    whoa... you did awesome... I dont know if I could have been cool for that long... Mr. cool... my ex would immediate go for the jugular and the we would have abig heated emotional blaming argument.... I hope the Man upstairs spares me that confrontation... 1 minute I hate her the other I miss her...which lets me know i have more healing to do.... so I try to stay focused listen to good advice and regain my self respect.... the day she anounced she was seeing another guy,,, i curled up and wanted to die... I made it throgh the night from hell... and I wear that memory like a badge of honor like I came back from vietnam or something....today I cried a bit driving home from work... not sure why..probably because i kept playing the mental tapes of our good times..... hang tough
  12. gratefulpain
    hmmm heres the only thing I see that may go wrong.... secretly you have renewed hope... the "i woke up and called you" thing was a gem... now if she does NC to you you may call or IM out of frustration and then she'll be like "cant talk right now my boyfriends over" then you'll be floored... dude we been there.... but who knows maybe the tide will change.. the point is to hope for the best plan for the worst..... I'm doing NC and for the first time in a long time I feel like the master of my emotions... she leaves me messages and says why are you being childish.. and hurtful by not answering my calls...normally I would think.. "shes right im sorry" but fu#$ that I need my time to heal grow and recover and nothing brings you back to square one than NC when youre not healed....I consider myself sick and talking to her on her terms so she can bash me or see if I still want her is like going back to the source of the infection to get another dose... be strong be a man you'll respect yourself in the long run...With her or without her you'll be ok..
  13. gratefulpain
    heres the dangerous part..... not for sure but you may go into the next realtionship needing validation from the new person.... im no shrink so take my advice with grain of salt....but learning to love you heck just try liking you first... and you will attract healthy males not insecure opportunist scumbags.. my .02
  14. gratefulpain
    Darn man.... you are still holding out for hope....its sad to hear what youre about to do....I know you feel you have to see her....and i understand your reasoning...its gonna hurt like a motha...... write us after... we are here 4 u...... i got uncomfortable just hearing what youre about to attempt (ouch)
  15. gratefulpain
    Just looked at my phone on lunch.... it started "Hello Mr. childish" i deleted it... zi think shes trying to make me feel guilty and deliver her stuff... screw that,,, im sticking to NC not even small talk.... theres nothing left to say...you made that choice when you got with another man before we even had a chance to reconcile....
  16. gratefulpain
    Thx.. I think she wants to rub my face in it.i dont want to meet the guy you FU#$%d a week after our two year romance...let alone let him in my house..i may snap and punch him in the face..im not ready still in pain..... mind you she left me because i didnt pay her enough attention.... we broke up for a week then casually she said by the way Im dating now.... thats when my nightmare began...we were together for two years... i was floored.... how could she so soon...i need to heal and recover i hate seeing her stuff on my porch.....the NC has helped .. for the first time in two years Im standing my ground.. come get your stuff i have no desire to hand deliver it for you!!.. have Mr. new boyfriend help you!!!...i dont feel an obligation!! hey i feel better saying that
  17. gratefulpain
    thxs.... only prob the items have value all of its brand new... i saw footsteps in the snow lastnight.. she peeked under the tarps to look.. then left... she alo made the comment she wanted to go throught the house and do a final check... trust me I already did... hell even paper she wrote on I threw away....i dont want her in my house she will inevitably start crap and ask questions and look aorund to see if i have had company...... this is becoming deterrent to my healing process....
  18. gratefulpain
    get a load of this audacity..she had a bookcase a washer and a dryer in my house...I offered to get my trailer and drop it all in one shot...she said no.. i will bring new BF and we'll come get it i dont want anything damaged....... * * *? ..anyway after she said that....I put all of her stuff on the porch.(really nice and wrapped in plastic) . 3 days and she still hasnt come to get it.... whats her deal? I been doing strict NC since i told her her stuff is ready to be picked up.
  19. gratefulpain
    Hang tough... thats why all of us are here...... I am 8 days into my breakup...shes getting the rest of her things tomorrow... I wont be around I dont want to fall apart...and set myslef back to square one.... I cried alot too... 8 days ago I spent the most gut wrenching heart riping sobbing fetal postion night of my entire adult life.. Something I found useful was a comfy place to let it all hang out... sounds dumb but I made corner of the house (i live alone now) with a bunch of comforters/blankets alot of pillows and my CD player. I actually made a bit of a tent (optional) and i played slow songs to make myself cry and get it out... i felt as if the crying and tears were symbols of the pain and poison that was leaving my body.. each time more pain would come out... lately i havent found the need to go in there anymore...it has made my healing quicker....
  20. gratefulpain
    You did all the right things ....... except to the wrong person... sensitivity is not a curse its a gift...It allows you to love on a deeper level.. something she cannot comprehend...Imagine if you knew ahead of time she would end it.. would you have loved her in the same way? I think not..you have experienced one of lifes greatest joys.. to be in love... some never do... the man upstairs brought you two together for a reason find out what it was that you learned from this.....think of her with a smile and a heavy heart...soon it will be just with a smile.....
  21. gratefulpain
    Continue to work on yourself. Im still fresh from the battle but I'm getting a glimpse of where I want to be. When you get to the point where youre 100% content with or without a special someone you will have arrived and are healed. Armed with the knowledge that you can take it or leave it you will shine with confidence. You will see red flags immediately ans stay clear. healthy men will be attracted...trust me scum bags like to prey on vunerable women.. think about this... if you didnt feel the pain that would have meant you didnt really love.... I'm not that fond of country but Garth hit it on the head....... Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared beneath the stars above For a moment all the world was right How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance
  22. gratefulpain
    thanks.. i used to be pretty smooth... till i was P whipped by this girl
  23. gratefulpain
    Hello, Im still raw and exposed and hurting...really bad.... some of the suggestions on this board said to actively work on yourself with NC i tried go to a local bar nad sat their for two hours like an * * *. I couldnt even look at another woman. I broke NC this morning to iron out some insurance issues.. she talked like nothing happened... i cut it short... i want to aggresively keep myself busy and do things that will spped up this process... i dont want to make mistakes that bring me back to a puddle of nothingness over and over... any suggestions on what folks have done to keep busy or work on themselves will be helpful...i need to crawl out of this hole..havent eaten in days
  24. gratefulpain
    since u said u pray.. try this... pray before u go to bed for everthying wonderful you could ever wish for in your life he have.... its not easy at first but after a few time you will loose the resentment and end up having compassion for him.....
  25. gratefulpain
    thanks everyone... this whole thing suxs i hate this..why cant it be over with its like a nightmare in slow motion
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