Casket

Hi all, Thought I'd share this, roughly a 15 minute piece of work. Was asked by a girl to write a poem about secrets after she told me a few of her stories, this is the result. Thought id share. Cheerio. Outside a happy person, a life full with content, An ever bounding wonder with little to repent. She lives a daydream moment, so blessed in little years, But come along, I'll show you yet, a journey laced in fears. I have many a secret, some lost in sands of time, They always say "you're near the top", but never made the climb. I look at them so drearily, and know I cannot tell, What words are there to express this lonely, desolate * * * * ing hell? I have many a secret, they eat me from inside, They ride the wave of torment, never wash out with the tide. They think it doesn't hurt or leave scars upon my soul, But they don't see me crying here, surpassed in my own bowl. And all these little secrets, I bury deep within, Eternally they scratch and rip at me under my skin. And those who once hurt me may forget me before long, But * * * * em all, I'm marching on and singing loud my song.

I was with a girl for 11 months who i loved very much. Its been about 8 months since we have broken up, and we have just started talking on MSN the past couple of days. I dont love her anymore but i think about her every now and again, i dont mind talking to her as i believe im still in the healing process and this will help me get that extra step further. She is leaving to go to England in the next month, so thats fine. I know she will have the time of her life (shes going to college for a year). When we were going out she met quite alot of people on the internet (i did too) and she has quite alot of e-friends over in england. There is this one particular guy who she used to talk to heaps, and i used to get pretty jelous at times. So since ive been talking to her ive been noticing subtle things, like her avatar is of a penguin (which the guy loves) and hes wearing an aresenal shirt (which is this guys favourite team). She has also been using words that the guy did. Now i know this is stupid, but im finding it hard to come to turns with her being with this guy. She used to talk to him when we had fights and i know they are going to meet and probably be together. Im not fully over her and i dont want to be back with her (although sometimes i would give anything), im just finding this pretty hard at the moment. Any suggestions?

Thanks for both of your comments. It was one of them sporadic occourances in which you just need to get everything of your chest.

I wrote this poem in the last 10 minutes, i just threw everything onto paper without looking back. Heres what came out of it. I remember the night when we first met, The magic in late november. The smile on your face, the look in your eyes, The night you would remember. You were once my pillar of strength, You were once my all. How could we have let love persish, My demise and my downfall. You were the woman who lit up my world, The princess from the tale. You picked me up when i fell down, I thought love would prevail. Yet here i am all alone, As I stare up at the sky. 7 months on i think of you, How could you have let me die? Past all the barricades, and all the walls, Through heaven and hell i ran, But you did not appreciate it, Thats when my pain began. And you would think that after all this time, That id be moving on. Yet still i sit here unsurpassed, As i sing this untold song. So this last poem i write for you, In honour of lost love. I know that we will meet again, At the pearly gates above. So this for you, wherever you are, The only think ive known, I hope your happy, i hope your loved, For me - i am alone.

Damm that was superb!!!

Which is why i ended it so not to let it go on and on and break her heart even more then it is allready. Thanks for your advice

Hey all, Well its been a little over 7 months since i broke up with my girlfriend. I thought things were going fine a month ago and i really felt like i could move on, she seldomly entered my head and when she did she got kicked right back out. So this is when i met my (recent) ex, about a month and we started going out. It felt good to be in a relationship again, to be cared about. I hadnt had sexual contact for a long time so i rushed into things. We did everything other then sex (she is a virgin) but i didnt want to have sex with her because i knew i didnt love her. I thought time might change this but i think i rushed in way too fast (since my first ex) so i broke it off with her 5 days ago. Ever since then i have been thinking about my ex ALOT and i dont know why. I have even seriously thought about calling her. Has anyone else been in this situation? Any advice?

Thank you very much =] And just to clarify things, i am a guy lol

Hey all, I like writing poems =] Heres a small one that i wrote about friendship. My dear friend... To you my dear friend on this fine summers night, As we look to the skies, the stars ever bright, When you look in my eyes, know im your friend, Through heaven and hell to the very end. To you my dear friend i give you my heart, In the hope that time wont tear us appart, As we journey through life together in hand, Our life set in motion like hourglass sand. And to you my friend as we walk life as one, Our bond so strong, a journey begun, Cherish our friendship, the time that we spend, From here till eternity my dearest friend. What you think?

I believe their primary concern is about me taking her virginity and then leaving her hurt and alone. So i should just be a gentleman and be very polite and gentleman like and anwser all question truthfully. I will be extremly nervous =]

Believe me i can understand fully, i really can. So how would i address any concerns, would i just anwser the questions asked thruthfully or would i initiate them or what? And i most definatly wouldnt be all over her, infact i would probably keep a distance from her. Id be afraid of even hugging her goodbye.

I went on my first date with this girl yesterday, she is almost 15 and i am 17. I really like this girl and i dont know why. She is the first person ive ever met that when she tells me something, i believe 100% that shes telling the truth. I wanted to take her into the the city to see a movie (we would have to catch a train in and out). She loved this idea but i was sure her parents wouldnt let her even know she ensured me that they would. This 17 year old bloke whom they have never met wants to take their daughter into the city to see a movie at dark. So needless to say i wasnt the least bit surprised when she told me that it couldnt happen, however i was when she told me her dad forbade her to go out with me, but at the same time i could understand 100% why. Her dad let her go to the movies with me, but only down to the local cinema and he picked her up as soon as it was finished (he checked the finishing times). So anyway, we went and we had a great time, i loved it. So when i get back she messages me and told me that her mum and dad spoke about it and they said it was OK if we went out on another data, but only after i met both the mum, the dad, the brother and the brothers gf. I said ok and told her to tell me a time that suited her parents etc. Then i find out that if i am approved that we can go out, but only in the local area and at day. I like this girl, but what is a boy to do? How long must i wait to be able to take her to the movies past 5pm? What can i do? I cant wait 2 years just to be able to take someone to the movies. I know they think i want sex, if i hear the comment "i was 17 once too" im going to throw up. They may have been 17 BUT THEY WERE NOT ME AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE ME. Ok, most 17 year old guys only want to get into a girls pants, but thats not me. I only want to be held and loved and know i mean something to someone. So, on top of this i am going to america soon for a month. Her mothers bf (her parents have split up) asked if she was impressed when she told him and acted like a complete * * * *. I made this decison LONG before i ever met her. I feel like ive been weighed and judged before ive even had a chance to do anything.

@someguy: Yes she did give me a reason, its because of the lack of intimate contact and lack of sex life lately, which im sure everyones going to see fits into this situation. You all have to understand that i have been the one keeping this family together. I had to tell my own dad not to come home anymore (when he was driving the car here and walking). Im the one who had to confiscate alcohol out of my mums hands while she was crying and begging for it back. Im the one who had to take a cocked knife out of her bedside drawer infront of her, and lock both it and all the alcohol away. My mum was a constant mess (crying 24/7), my dad was even worse (as i said, doctor said he could die) and my sister was about to have a break down and moved out. The only person that i couldnt worry about was myself, and thats just the way it is. I am very much appart of this situation and if i dont do anything, this will just keep on going on and on. She will not be caught, my dad lacks any technical expertise with computers to do so (i study them at college) and is pretty much wrapped around her finger. This is cheating, and it goes against EVERYTHING that i stand for. The moment this happened i was put in a position that i did not want to be in, but by god im going to do it. I will find out whats happening, as i will not have this happening under the roof i live under. Im sorry if i sound ignorant or up myself, as i am really scared at the moment. But i will not let this happen to my father. Im sick of sitting here pretending everythings alright. Its cheating, and he deserves to know... and he will.

Its a long story, bear with me... Im 17 years old and i have been through alot with my family. I live with my dad, mum and sister. 4 or so months ago, my mum sat me and my sister down and told us that she asked dad to move out for a while. She said that things just werent going well and she wanted to be alone for a while, we understood and left that night to let her be alone. Dad moved into his mums house and for about 1-2 weeks he would drive to the house and walk to the station to goto work. About 3 days after he left i stumbled upon a chat log on my mums computer. It was very graphic and it was to another man, very sexual. At this time anger filled me and my sister and i made a plan to confront her and move out (and tell my dad). Well my sister didnt do it according to plan and she let it out while i was sleeping (i am the strong one who would have confronted her). My mum said that she didnt know why she did it and she would never cheat on my dad. I had a good talk with her and she promised she would never do it again. She turned to drinking after this and locked herself constantly in her room. She was ALWAYS on the internet. Dad moved back in.... kinda. He told my mum that the doctor said that if he didnt move back in he could die. Mum got angry and let him move back in, he moved into the shed. He was in the shed about 3 weeks and then he moved into the lounge room where he has been sleeping ever since. My mum is still constantly on the internet but it hasnt been as bad, she has been out of her room. Lately though, she quit her job. Ever since she has just been at home constantly on the internet. Dad still sleeps on the lounge. For the record, the guy she was talking to and "fantasising over" lives in america and supposidlivly is her old friends husband. So i was playing a game tonight and it was extremly laggy. Mum was in her room with her laptop. Her room is basically locked (has things pressed behind it so you just cant open the door and walk in). I asked her if she was downloading anything and she said no, she was playing an online card game. I said ok and walked out. I tried playing again, and (this time annoyed) went into her room to make sure she wasnt. She was using my sisters laptop as her one was screwed and i wanted to make sure my sister hadnt set anything to download. So i go in and ask, she again denies it. I look at her computer and i see a guys face, and her on the screen. She was webcamming with another guy. Im sick of pretending everythings ok, and im sure the guy she is talking to is the same guy she was talking to extremly sexually before. I rang my sister (who barely comes home anymore because she hates whats happening to this family) and i am going to install a keylogger on her computer to capture the key strokes. Im looking for advice on what i should do. Im extremly angry and upset right now so im sure ive left ALOT of details out. Please simply ask questions and i will anwser them. Thank you

You will, but as i said in my post, dont worry about trying to get here, trust me when i say it WILL happen. But put that thought out of your mind and concentrate on NOW. Make it to the end of the day mate, not to the end of the month (if that makes sense). Im always here to talk, if you want to share experiences or just talk.

Thanks for your replies! Its always good to know there are people out there you can confide in. Keep going everyone whos hurting! Theres always people who are ready to take the time to listen to you and share the pain. Find these people and hold onto them forever!

Hey teacup, I too believes its societies influcence on males and specifically, its the influences of their friends through adolesance. Im only 17 and i am the black duck amongst my friends. My mates dont have feelings even close to mine. Recently a good mate of mine was angry because in the 4 months he was going out with his gf he didnt get sex. It makes me wonder why all the girls go for these jerks. I definatly have feelings. I definatly care about women and would never ever cheat on her. I would rather hug for hours then have sex and go to sleep afterwards. Maybe thats just me, but im not one of a kind. Men have feeling and emotions, but most percieve it as a sign of weakness showing them. So i ask you, why did you get caught up with the wrong guys? Is it because they were a bad * * * and you wanted a challenge to change them? Is it because the aura of someone who can protect you was just too appealing? Or did you geniunly just get caught up with the wrong guys? Because im my expereince (and my views are shared by most of the same type of guys, at least AROUND my age) we are very out for the taking, we just dont get approached or we are merely "the friend".

Thank you all, i dont know where i would be without the forum. I had always wanted to go out with my mates, but we would end up getting in a fight about it and i would stay home and do nothing. Eventually, my mates just stopped calling. I would be made to appologise to her when i came back from being with my mates. The day we broke up i contacted one of my good mates and basiaclly appologised for not being there. 30 minutes later i had a knock on my door from a carfull of mates who told me to go get ready. I really love you all. If anyone here is hurting from a break up with "the one" please listen to what i say. Countless times you will hear about hindsight, and how you need to let time take its course. I was so caught up in not beliving this and wanting the day to come so much, it drove me to disaster. Remove everything that reminds you of your ex. Put it all in a box and put it somewhere where you wont see it doing day to day things. Take every day at a time, nothing more. Dont think 6 months down and wonder if you will still be thinking about "the one", but rather concentrate on the present and things you can do to take your mind off things. I took to the gym and it was my salvation. Whenever you think about the ex, say a rehersed line in your head. "I'm over you, get out of my life!!". At first i would say this 400 times a day, but it worked. As time went by it decreased. If you a sensative guy like me, you wont be able to remember all the bad things she or he did, but only the good things. This (unlike what i thought) IS NOT A CURSE!! Give it time and take every hour as it comes, and eventaully down the line something will just come to you and you will think "wow, i cant believe she did that" or "im glad i can do this now". I am not healed, but im on my way. Hang in there everyone. As someone on this forum said to me, theres enough of us lonely souls out there, maybe one day we will bump into each other. And the classic that helped me through many a lonely night - "If your going through hell... just keep going". Keep safe my friends

You know what... SCREW HER! I had no life when i was with her, i couldnt go out and see my mates. I neglected them all for 11 months. Now im with them again and i can finally live life. I dont need her anymore, she is just a shadow in my past. Im ready to get on with my life, and as much as she will always have a place in my heart, my future has no room for her. It took me 6 months to realise this but i did it. I love you all.

Thanks for that, i feel a bit better. Your comment made me laugh teacup

Hey all, Well id say its been about 6 months since i broke up with my gf. I still think about her every day, but lucklily it hasnt been with a heavy heart. Today is different though, and it all started when i woke up and remembered the dream i just had. It was about my ex gf wanting me back and showing me a baby girl that she said was mine, but it was from another man. I accepted this (for some reason) and loved it as my own. I have weird dreams but something happened and i said "the baby isnt really mine". All of a sudden i got in trouble and i felt bad. I know this is stupid and i look back now on the dream and think how stupid it is, but it did remind me how things would always be turnt around to make it out to be my fault. Well ever since this morning old emotions have been flowing back (the ones i felt when we broke up) and im feeling pretty down. I keep on thinking about our first time and how i felt during it. I also think about her with another guy right now. It all reminds me how alone i am and how i long to be loved. Any advice?

Thank you, i will burn them off to a CD tomorrow and put them in a box... along with everything else i have that is hers. My question is... if i were to look at these later on down the track, even years, will this affect me? I know laura it doesnt affect you, but im scared it will me.

Well its been about 5 months now since i have broken up with my girlfriend and not a day goes by that i dont think of her. This is namely because i see something that instantaniously reminds me of her. This was not the original purpose of this post, but is there any advice from people who have been there (where i am at now) and how they dealt with it? And now it comes to my main question. I have a folder on my hardrive with alot of stuff in it about my ex, pictures, poems etc etc. I never look at these, and have even taken the steps to rename the folder from her name to something completely random at the hopes of not reminding myself of her when i look at it. I promised her i would never loose these, they did mean so much to the both of us. But 5 months on... my question is, should i delete these? I know its a stupid question to most, but it means alot to me. Thanks

I know what you mean mate. I cant help but be nice to girls.... With guys however, its a WHOLE different story. When im with my mates... we truly are bad asses (its all in the name of fun though). But when im with girls, i comeletly change into a gentlemen. My last girlfriend loved that i was a badass. When she got to know me, she knew who i really was though (a nice guy) and she did fall in love with him. So girls do like nice guys mate, its just finding them that is the most hardest task of all unfortuantly

Dont mean to hijack this thread, but i feel exactly the same way. I feel like im never going to find the one for me because im "the nice guy" who would rather cuddle then watch sports (to a certain extent