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justify_yourlove

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Everything posted by justify_yourlove

  1. Anyone have any inspirational break up songs? Music is powerful and is my number one passion in life. I feel that it'll help me a lot listening to it everyday and remembering the lyrics. Right now, I'm listening to Jessica Simpson's "I Belong to Me".
  2. Thanks Frisco, I agree and you couldn't have explained it any better about how my thought process will and should be. I just graduated from college in August and have been interviewing with companies. I know I will be successful and the next few months will be a learning process. I will be able to enjoy life and enjoy myself.
  3. Thank you. I need to keep believe I have the strength and I expect to be really sad and know it will be okay soon
  4. I broke up with my boyfriend, 8 years. It's just a long, complicated story-some of you may remember-but it doesn't matter now. It's just not fair because I have to suffer now and I can't help but be bitter about it. I know life's not fair but it feels like betrayal now. I really need some support. Anyone have any break up advice or anything about how to get over a long-term boyfriend?
  5. Thanks for your response. I know it's such an unusual condition so it's great that someone at least at something to say. I guess it's just the child within me because I'm not wearing the adult diapers...but who knows. Do you know of any active forums about infantilism? I tried looking everywhere online but nothing active and with moderators. I never thought to bring it up to my therapists before but that would be a great idea.
  6. For several years now, I would think cute, tiny things were super adorable that I would get super excited. Then more recently, I enjoyed pretending I was a baby (wiggly and wearing cute shorts, shirts, pigtails). Until today, I had no idea it was a mental condition. However, the big important difference is that I am not sexually aroused by this subject. I just enjoy pretending like I'm a cute baby. Wikipedia defines it as: "Paraphilic infantilism is a paraphilia that involves the desire to wear diapers and be treated as a helpless infant." The easiest way to describe paraphilic infantilism is to contrast it with a diaper fetish. Diaper fetishes are a sexual fetish, where the diapers themselves serve as a sexual focus. Paraphilic infantilism is less intuitive since it isn't a fetish. Fetishes focus on a sexually charged object, while infantilism focuses on the self-image of the Adult Baby. The AB has an alternate self-image of an infant. This is similar to a transvestite, except that instead of engaging a female alter-ego every now and then, ABs engage an infantile alter-ego. ABs cannot physically become infants, but try to simulate infancy. This may include the use of adult-sized diapers and baby clothing, toys, baby oils and powders, etc. If the AB's partner is willing to engage in roleplay, she will play the mommy (or he will play the daddy) while the AB plays an infant or toddler. When roleplaying, the AB would try to achieve a baby-like mood or mindset. As a result, sex during the scene would seem incestuous. The AB and partner may have an ordinary sexual relationship at other times, but not while engaged in infantilistic play. As would be expected, the baby wears the diapers. For more information, read: I am completely appalled by this because I just thought I was being cute. Has anyone else heard or experienced this? Although it is harmless and my boyfriend knows I am this way, I am worried because it is still weird. I even look really young for 21 so I feel even more babylike. What is everyone's opinion on my situation?
  7. Some of you may remember me with the boyfriend I had concerns about with. We spent the holidays together and it was great. We are both super strong right now.
  8. The only reason why I brought it up was because when we were together, I was worried about our future in terms of financial stability.
  9. The only real thing I've had an issue with is having sex with him in the costumes. Otherwise, I don't wanna stop him from dressing up a few times a year.
  10. He's not gay. If anything, he may have a sexual identity crisis because he is not attracted to men at all. That's not the issue. He's still attracted to women, it's just he likes being a woman.
  11. Wow, that's really an interesting story. That's most likely what I imagined would happen to me. I do believe in compromise. In this case though, I sadly think one may have to sacrifice certain things. He claims that he enjoys sex just as much when he's not dressed up as a woman so we could always just go back to that. I don't have anything against him crossdressing in general and he only does it a couple of times a year. He is honest with me whether good or bad, so I know he would tell me right away if he would be unhappy with this. My therapist said that religion can be a serious issue in a relationship if we let it. She says if he was willing to let our children be baptised a Catholics, then that's great already. I do hate having him sacrifice this for me but we agreed that this was probably the most realistic thing we'd have to decide on.
  12. Actually, I did forget about those free hotlines. I know there's a lot that is completely free and confidential so that's a great start. I'm sorry about my response since it did mean in the future. I think meeting people does take practice so don't get discouraged by your current friendships losing touch. Many people natural grow apart as they get older. You're not alone although it can get really lonely. I could understand what you mean about moving to a new apartment. Try the hotlines for now and see if that helps in your current state of mind. At the same time, I'm sure you'll be investing in your new home. Good luck with it!
  13. He does want to work. He's tried jobs even like Target and minimal wage jobs but they say he's overqualified. The jobs he does qualify for say he doesn't have enough experience. He's worked at Toys R U as a teen, Wendy's....clerical work...he's tried getting jobs even during college. Nothing...no one. He couldn't even get a job at his mom's work and they hired his brother who is a high school drop out.
  14. I would like to extend my thoughts as well and thank you for posting!
  15. First thing that attracts me to a guy is their looks. I love guys with short, groomed hair. Then, he has to be nice, intelligent, and hard-working. That's just in terms of a non-relationship stand point. In a relationship perspectve, he definitely has to respect me, understand me, and love me for who I am.
  16. Oh no, I guess everyone agrees it's a hard situation?
  17. Have you tried seeing a therapist? Have you felt this depressed before? I posted this in another thread, but there is a line between "depressed" and clinical depression. It could make you think irrationally over simple or regular things. It could make you suicidal at times but you need to get help if it is this serious. I've felt as emotional as you when I was 15 and I'm 21 now. I didn't think I needed help but I did have clinical depression and ago help a year and a half ago. Life will get better, trust me. As hard and impossible as it seems, life will get better.
  18. How long have you guys known/each other talked? The first kiss will happen at the right now. Honestly, I would suggest to try and take her out on a casual "date", like a coffee shop. This way, you could get to know each other even more outside just the residence. Since she's shy, you can't really tell whether she would accept the kiss or not. So, having a coffee is safe. In this type of scenario, you may need to take things slow for now even though you really like her. You probably want to give the friendship some time first before you make any sudden moves like kissing on the lips. If you feel like it may be the best time, you can always ask her, "May I kiss you?" but that would probably lead some awkwardness.
  19. Clinical depression could take years to get over and people react to medication differently. Did your psychiatrist suggest other medications? Those two are well-known but there should've been others available. A hard childhood could definitely add to your depression. Loneliness and shyness are very hard to get over and may take both time and effort. Never ever feel like a loser because you did nothing wrong. You are such a strong person to have gone through all you did. Why did you want to move out of your current apartment? My suggestion would be for you to invest in the cheapest therapy you can get (both talk and psychiatry). If it's possible to put it on credit or get a loan, try that. That would probably be your very first step in terms of money. A great place to meets all sorts of people are in school, if you attend. Most people there are easy to talk to and like to meet other people. If you can't there, try a local cafe. Practice "talking" with the mirror. The friends that you do have, keep in touch and see each other often. This will build a bond and will give you a support network.
  20. It is true that she may not be interested. Even if there was a slight bit of interest coming from her part, she should've mentioned it to her friend in addition to "Maybe now is not the best time". Maybe you can continue to be her good friend for now, especially since she needs one after a break up. If she sees how you really care for her, you would mean a lot to her...and who knows what will happen next?
  21. If you attend a college, counseling and psychological services are usually free since you pay it with your tuition. Otherwise, it would be super hard for you because professional help is always worth a try. Have you felt depressed before? How serious has it been? There is a different between feeling down and being clinically depressed. I'm just trying to make sure you know what you are.
  22. How many years has these thoughts been in your head? It is common for women to think other women are sexy. If you start having stronger feelings about one though (i.e. infatuation), that may be a different story.
  23. Okay, so you guys have learned about my boyfriend's Lesbian fetish, atheism, but there's one other big problem. He's been unemployed for several years no matter how hard he has tried (interviews, job fairs, you name it). No one has hired him! I'm 21 going to college and he's 31, graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in International Business but still living with his mom. He has had a hard upbringing with a poor, divorced, abusive family and just recently paid off college loan debt by selling stuff on eBay. We both agree that financial stability is very serious for future plans. My concern is, what are we supposed to do with this problem? I honestly don't understand why he hasn't gotten at least one job (aside from temporary one years ago). He knows all about the interview tips, etc., so I don't know what is wrong. He is not a lazy guy because he helps all he can at home, takes care of his mother, etc. I really don't want you guys to have a "bad impression" of him, as simply a 31-year old cross-dressing, unemployed, atheist . He's overall an extremely nice guy, funny, intelligent, and loving. We have known each other for so long (7.5 years) and he's been there for me thick and thin (my depression, waiting years till I was legal just to meet me and get to know me even more, the money that he does have- he spends it mostly for me, faithful). That's why it's such a dilemma. Sure, it would be easiest in the future to be with a much more compatible person. I feel like this one is worth thinking really thoroughly about before really breaking it off. I know I'll be able to love another guy but it won't be as special as this. It'll be easier with someone else but here, we've gone through so much. Just the fact that we're incompatible in ways yet have fought through times says so much.
  24. Yeah, I've been really thinking about it. I definitely agree it would be easier in the long-run. Let's just say hypothetically he genuinely agrees that we don't ever have to do the Lesbian sex and we could raise the children Catholic, could we work it out? What if he is willing to do anything?
  25. You're right. That's why I'm going to talk to him this weekend when he comes over. There are lots of differences between us. Yet, there's lot of things we share in common. We have known each other for seven years and have gone through a lot together.
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