Kwothe28

After one month he struck out and kept you in reserve just in case he doesnt find anyone. And after he found somebody else, he cut contact completely. Sorry it happened, he really doesnt seem like a stand up guy. Its best to just accept its over and move on.

For not allowing him to go to holiday with his hookups? No that is quite normal thing to expect in a loyal monogamous relationship. Trouble is that you found somebody who wont do that. And instead of getting rid of him for good, you are allowing him to gaslight you and do whatever he wants. What I am trying to say is, you are being "toxic" for staying there. Instead of simply leaving somebody like that.

Maybe you are too young so she is driven by excitement rather then the sense of loyalty. But she still didnt even remembered you existed and kissed somebody ese. That is very telling about her ethics. As about regret part, I believe people very rarely regret things they do. Somebody who "doesnt feel they could say "no"" wouldnt flinch if they are about to do it again. For example next time she gets drunk. Or gets mad at you about something. Same with "forgiving" part. You are clearly bothered with what her did. So much so that you asked her for details continously. Dont think you can just forget about this and move on like nothing happened.

I think that age gap is not that huge. But that all of this is fine because you are at distance. But if ever make a true relationship together, religion issue would be a problem. Depending on levels of conviction, would you be fine with her raising your kids tomorrow according to her religion? Or would you like them to be Reddit atheists who mock God with every second sentence? Again, you dont have the issue with that now because you are long distance. But this would fall out very quick if you see each other in person more and want to make a family. It doesnt even have to be kids, how about just marriage? Would you be fine with all out religious customs wedding? How about maybe needing to take her religion as some religions require for a marriage? See how difficult does that all makes?

Are you asking for a boyfriend or just a "Yes Man" to agree with you on everything? Because I dont really think you would ever find second one and even if you do find somebody who would only confirm what you would be saying, you would be bored with him after a while lol Anyway, your boyfriend doesnt have to agree with every issue with you. Core beliefs sure, but there is always some discrepancies. It would be weird if there arent since no 2 persons are exactly the same. He can listen but he doesnt have to agree for you to feel "loved". Also, you seem to not agree about having children. That does seem like basic incompatibility.

But clearly she does care how she looks. Otherwise she wouldnt send you retoushed photos. Dont think there is a "fix" there. You already saw how she looks like so you know if she looks like in those photos or not. Spend more time in person and maybe she wouldnt need to send you pics with filters.

I mean, you problem isnt that you cant attract the guy. Your problem is that you are a mess and attract the guys who are also one. The same that you said goes for you too. Healthy person who wants a real relationship wouldnt accept sex arrangement from a guy that wants nothing to do with her. It goes both ways. I think the crux of it is your mental state. And that therapy would help that. Dunno about weight issues, lots of women just believe that they are fat even though they just gain few pounds. If you think your weight is not healthy or you think you would feel better, sure, do that also.

You literally posted cringy Instagram quote that says "I dont have no man right now" and you wonder why he got mad lol Anyway, I dont believe "you got played". Simply because other then his mom, no other woman is involved as far as you and we know. But, you both need more maturity, that is for sure. Also, please lay down Instagram cringe quotes. As you can see, they dont help you at all.

If the kiss "No" wasnt an obvious one, this one is. File it under "never gona date me" and move on. If you ask why, the explanation is simple: They would never say "No" to something they deem as "potential" even if they have a boyfriend. And you literally got two "No". Just give it up on this one and dont chase and message at all.

I dunno, the whole situation would bother me personally. Not only you are not accepted by his kids, but you are not even allowed to talk about yours? What kind of a deal is that? Are you even seeing your kids in that circunstances? On top of that, what kind of a deal is "If you dont like it, leave"? No wonder your husband doesnt have a good relationship with his kids when he likes to make up ultimatums like that. Again, all of that doesnt sound like a good family dinamic. And maybe you should rethink the marriage as a whole.

Many such cases. Whole cast of 90s Day Fiance to be precise. Its either Asian, Latina or Russian/Ukranian. As soon as they see Westerner, they go crazy with the possibility of you "lifting them out of poverty". Giving them passport and taking them to Western country. Even "No Neck Ed" had a success with those. You didnt had experience so you maybe fell for that. But stay away from girl like that. PS This is "No Neck Ed" and his girl. Just to see what I am talking about.

Good for you. Doesnt make your life not a mess. Do you even understand that not everybody get the problems you have? That not everybody gets left before the wedding? Not everybody have a messy ex who they constantly associate with? Not everybody create a monthly thread about those exes with another problem they cause? Now do you believe that what happens to you A) is just a coincidence B) is something you created with your bad choices You can be most perfect person in the world. And still be a mess. Precisely because your choices. I have a friend that is model like beauty, bought a very nice car, just got a promotion on the job and loves to travel and does that frequently. Do you know who her last boyfriend was? Some guy who made another girl pregnant. And that is not the first for her. Her last before that was an abuser. Even though I am pretty sure she could beat him lol. But anyway, that is because her choices show how messy she was. Her last guy was fairly good to her. But she could say to him all kind of stuff and create a mess. Same with you. I applaud you on your success, I really do. But your choices show that you are far from healthy person, at least mentally. And that you choose huge messes that end up creating more mess. That is why I implored you to work on that. Even though you laugh and think how I dont think you good. On the contrary, I spend my time writing this because I think you can do good in life. But that you just are a mess and still need more work. Hope you would do that work so I dont see another thread about this guy and mess he created for you. But sadly, already know its not going to happen. Not because I am clairvoyant. But because it keeps happening and you wont do anything about that. So again, enjoy your mess while thinking everything is fine.

Again with the victim complex and need to paint somebody else as a villain? By "people like that" I mean messy people. Again, I really dont care if its poly, trans or alien. But you should avoid any mess in general. Poly married man who by his own admissions is a mess and left you because of that, is a mess. Transitioning person who left you before the wedding is a mess. Your ex husband(or boyfriend) who tried to boot you out of festival is a mess even though he is straight man. Do you see the pattern there? Or do you still think I have something against somebody? Again I dont care. He might as well be decent human being. But as a person he is not good for you and you should stop associating with him if you want a functioning relationship in the future. If you want all of this to continue, to open the thread about him every month, then do please continue to associate with him. Just dont blame anyone but yourself in future for it.

"Vilainizying"(I think thats the word lol) me wont make your relationship with him less messy. But its OK, I understand, laughing and deflecting, as well as finding somebody else as a bad guy is your coping mechanism. Also, I am fairy liberal. And I really, really cant tell you how much I dont care if you date poly person, trans person or even "ET go home" alien person. But me as somebody here to help you is obligated to tell you that something with 90% failure is a messy thing to begin with. And that it did created a mess. Him leaving you because that mess, then as I remember even using his husband account to message you and stuff like that, only furthers that mess. And it wont stop until you and you yourself cut him out completely. And find ways to not associated in future with people like that. Preferably by imploring therapy and you yourself not being a mess. Otherwise, again, this is all you will be getting. Looking forward to another thread how his behavior and his click made you mad at the Festival. Because again, that is sooooooo healthy thing to do lol.

And was I wrong? Is all of this you described not the mess? Really? Unlike people who dont want to tell you something they would routinely tell some new Forum member, I just tell you like it is. You created countless threads about your other messy ex(trans woman as I remember). And now about this polyamorous man. Again, maybe its some norm in California or wherever you live. But that screams "mess" to anyone who isnt in your circle of people. Biggest leftist streamer on Twitch also thought polyamory is a way to go. Got him to divorce and to his wife leaving him for another man. Because that is a mess by default. But you coping how "there are other successful poly relationships" is just that. Coping. Again, was yours successful or was it a mess that resulted in a break up and creating this whole thread? Was yours healthy relationship or just part of the statistics? Which I believe says how 90% of open marriages end up in divorce. And again, I dont even need your answer on that, you created at least 20 threads about your 2 relationships that prove they were exactly what I say. A mess. I believe you are blaming yourself for all the wrong reasons while absolving other side of it. While you dont have enough of accountability for the right reasons. Again, cut out the mess out of your life. And work on yourself so the next one wouldnt be a mess. Otherwise, this is all you would be getting. Him and his messy circle creating a mess in your life. So that you would need to "release the anger" somewhere. Again, maybe next time try to find someone who wouldnt make you do that. Just saying.

I am sorry, but her actions dont match her words. Somebody who is aftering long-term relationship doesnt get tipsy and invites men in her home after first date. Somebody who is aftering sex is doing that. Dont expect loyalty from somebody like that. Because you wont find it there.

For that kind of stuff, you need to alert police or social services. They will react and maybe do something about it. Dont think your dad abusing or maybe even killing your mom and you is prefferable from you getting deported. You need to know that if you dont do something about it now, you will at least be scarred for life. And at most, well, I already said it.

Remember our talk about the mess and how you laughed it up? Well, enjoy that mess now. Just remember, this isnt his sister, his husband, or even his fault. Its directly yours by leaving that whole mess into your life. Unlike other people I think this is on you and you only. Until you get rid of him completely and work on yourself so the next one also doesnt be the mess, this will keep happening.

By "doesnt trust you" do you mean that she hasnt slept with you yet? Because I can see why she needed to come clean if that is the case and that her lie would probably be exposed. Or did you just not noticed that during sex? I wouldnt appreciate lies like that. As well as just her thinking that she should continue the lie. Who could have been exposed very easily. Where you particularly fixed on her being a virgin? Was that the reason she hide it? Also, you really cant know. Or trust her when she outright did lie to you beforehand.

Just checked, yes, my bad lol

Well she is living in a Switzerland so there is always a possibility that he holds his daughter in a dungeon while forcing her to father his 7 babies. Sorry Sindy, but its probably most famous "true crime" case from Europe. 😆

Its something that happens. Very rarely you would find "true friends". I think that research shows that people have 2 or 3 of them at most. Everybody else are "situational" or acquintances. Meaning that they come and go. Structure of my friends changed a lot through elementary school, to high school(I went to a different city close to home), to college, and to now. Lots of things changed in meantime. For example one of my best friend in college married abroad. So we separated a lot. I made an effort to see her 2 years ago when she came to my country, but she doesnt even congratulates my birthday anymore so, eh. People change and so are the circumstances. They get jobs, relocate, marry, have kids etc. And that makes you not hang out as you used to. On the contrast my best friend from high school lives in a town far away. Got married and has kids. But we still hear from each other and see at least once a month. But cases like that are again, very rare. Anyway, I dont think its a bad idea to find somebody else to hang out. Being that your friends are not really interested in going out and finding somebody(since they already got that covered), it might be a good idea to find somebody who would.

If they dont offer alternative date its a "No". Sorry buddy.

Same. She broke up so he really doesnt owe her anything including him staying off dating apps. Though I do agree after hearing more about it, that its good they broke up.

Well, not really. You work abroad. That means that you are well above some Bulgarian taxi driver(just an example lol). You maybe dont own Hotels, but perception about you is not the same as some local guy without a money. Quite the contrary, they would think you do have a lot of money. So that you could at least buy them gifts. Just saying what her perception might be. Anyway, when they tell you who they are, believe them. If you cant resist not to message her, block her on everything. "No contact" is good for that kind of stuff. You floating around thinking she would want you isnt really good for you.