Cat1203

Hi sorry about the late reply! Yes that is exactly right! But it’s been nearly 5 months now so surely it should be getting better that fear but I just feel it’s maximised even worse. I feel like it’ll be a year later and when he does move on it’ll still crush me and don’t want to be like that. I want to be over it, just sick of the same dreary feeling and constantly thinking about him

Hi, sorry about the late response I’ve been taking my time trying not to speak about it as much as much as I feel I want to about the situation. I’ve whipped out my academic journal which has dates in and days for each week to plan stuff for the week so I can keep busy. Some days I’ve put walks for an hour, some days reading at least a certain amount of pages. Some seeing friends, and some empty. I also rang about therapy as a referral so I’ll have an initial appointment on the 22nd but I’m not sure on the wait list as it’s quite long in the uk as everything is under funded, the government is rubbish! just still full with the same dreary feeling of when will I stop missing him, wanting him to contact me and it feels like it’ll be forever

Yeah im still really really anxious about finding anything out. Thats one of my biggest issues at the minute, not so much I miss him. I do but im more worried about that I dont know why i am, i do still love him but im also angry at how he left the last conversation by ghosting its disrespectful especially when he was the one reaching out i didnt do anything to even disrupt him. I do miss him ag times. When I’m even walking home from work I can’t help my self from look at the cars that go past incase he does and when I see a similar car I get anxiety incase it’s him

Hi, I am going to spend some time alone as I know I need to heal, not just from the relationship but other personal issues as I don’t want to allow certain behaviours and just be strong enough and respect myself enough so need to improve myself and self esteem as I have very little im a very sensitive person

Hi thank you so so much for you response. I’m so worried about finding out him with someone else it will rip me apart i don’t know how to cope as im worrying about it when I don’t even know it’s happened just incase it does happen,

Why am I so so scared and worried in finding out anything about my ex, such as if he’s dating someone else, if he’s sleeps with someone else and what he’s doing. I’ve told my friends not to tell me anything but I’m so worried about finding anything out as I know it will absolutely crush me cause I know he can’t give me what he will be giving another person and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over that feeling or how long im going to feel like that and I’m scared about that

Hi guys, im nearly 5 months post bu, 2 months no contact and I’m doing okay just sad some times mostly at night but nothing that will make me reach out again after being disrespected and ghosted. But I just wanted to ask, does this feeling of time just dragging on during a breakup past. I feel it won’t get better than this. I’m happy some days and okay some, it’s only small periods of sadness but that’s because I wasn’t happy in the relationship and I knew the end was coming due to him saying months before he fell out of love but still loved me. but I just feel time is dragging on such as I’m always gonna be stuck feeling the same. I remember what it was like without a breakup but I was with my ex partner for 4 years and it feels like centuries I can’t remember what it’s like to be alone. i have told myself I don’t want a partner for a while now, not even open to dating as I tried one date and it’s put me off. And I realised I’m not ready also, I made a mistake as I still love my ex etc. I was wondering on help on healing and by this I mean healing trauma I’ve experienced in the past. I’m also anxiously attached, so I know I have some problems such as coming across ‘too needy’ but then I get told I’ll find someone who will like that but then I see stuff saying you can work on it to become more secure. I always let people walk all over me due to my emotions of caring and loving. I feel when I’m in a relationship I just allow disrespect and not being treated the way I should due to me believing it’ll change, or they’ll see how I’m treating them. Just want to work on things like that and I know therapy helps but I’m also thinking of what things I can do myself. j know I have low self-esteem I believe this is still from the first relationship I ever had as it was abusive and now part of it is now because I’ve been told someone’s fell out of love with me so it’s added, when I put 110% in and it wasn’t enough due to them feeling that way, nothing could be done as feelings are feelings but it’s still a blow. Any help, advice or comments of people been or going through similar will be grateful ps. I’m writing this now as just finished a 13 hour shift as a nurse and I’m feeling overwhelmed and sad, so started thinking of my ex.

Thank you! I am going around to my friends on the weekend the day of his birthday so even if I am thinking of it hopefully the day will go by fast. And thanks for your story it really helps me!

What about if it’s all you can think of. Cause I just wonder when I will be over it finding it hard even when I’m busy to not think about it. And that’s so true! I do beat myself up for lying in bed feeling like crap. These past 2 days all I have done is lie down in bed sleeping as just don’t want to face the world don’t want to answer anyone or interact with anyone. I have diagnosed depression as well, it was way way worse 5 years ago after that first relationship but I’m okay with dealing with it now but I sleep a lot sometimes cause everything gets to much and when your asleep your not thinking or anything. It’s sad but I have improved from years ago and from undergoing past therapy

Hi, thanks for your comment. Yes writing does help me on here it’s helped me loads don’t feel as alone cause I feel terribly alone even though I know I have people in my life it’s just lonely. It’s his birthday coming up this weekend as well, I have got plans to see friends that say but just worried about when that day comes. Just worried about my emotions as I have started missing him now it’s took 4 months and we have been in no contact for 2 months, see other comment as to why I blocked him. But I know it’s stupid if don’t know if it’s an ego thing or I genuinely want him to reach out as I thinks I’m aware that cause he dumped me that it makes you feel like that as you want the revalidation that you are actually wanted. Just fed up of feeling like that more than anything

Hi, sorry I have been reading all the comments just been taking my time to respond as just feel really fed up at the minute. I went out on Saturday for my birthday and it was a drink normally I’m okay but my friend mentioned about the time we went to a gig and he came and then mentioned pictures so I had a look at one and he was in it smiling and I just started crying. I’ve never ever cried in the past years when I’ve had a drink so just for now I’ve decided not to drink alcohol intill I feel more okay emotionally. When I got home from that night I just sobbed and sobbed for like 10 minutes I barely have cried over it even if I’m thinking about it a lot even in periods of being busy. I had to also block him as mentioned 2 weeks ago, so I don’t know anyway if he even tried to wish me happy birthday. I do keep thinking about him and if he’ll try to reach out another way. I blocked him because I was angry with the fact he just ghosted me I know it’s a bit immature but I think as much as I don’t admit it and havnt said it out loud I’m hurt with him doing that so I blocked him as I thought well if you’ve ignored you don’t have the right to message me when you want. But I just want him to reach out to show he cares, misses me or wants me back. But I know he won’t even if I have some small hope he will. It just sucks

Hi thanks for your comment! I’ve been trying to do this, just some days struggling as I think I miss the memories I think that’s normal at this stage now. But yeah I think this stage is so hard as well cause at the start it’s new and you’ve got everyone there constantly but when it gets into this stage it’s like a standstill it feels the same everyday and you start to feel like your bothering people if you mention it which I try not to do anyway as much. I just never met someone like him, I know I’m young but before that I came out of a really toxic relationship. And I got into the recent one and I feel he didn’t cheat or do anything bad like that, and I’ve took that as well as long as he doesn’t do that it’s okay to accept the bare minimum not even that sometimes and then he fell out of love, idk why probs with me always asking for my needs to be met when I shouldn’t have as much should have just left after a few times I explained how I felt and it didn’t change

Thank you. And at the minute I’m not even sure where to start with goals just feel a bit lost in my life generally and then with situations such as stress and then breakup I feel more lost

Thank you very much for your comment. Been feeling really depressed the past few days just struggling since my birthday so been sleeping a lot and it’s his birthday coming up in a week as well so just feel it’s gonna be a bit tough till April emotion wise

Hey guys, its been 4 month post BU for me, and nearly 2 months this weekend of no contact. I decided over 2 weeks ago to take the advice to block my ex for my own sake so I’m not constantly thinking of him ‘might’ reach out. He ghosted me 2 months ago so the no contact is I guess what it is so I decided to block him because I need to try and move on. it was my birthday today and I turned 22. But today was not gonna be the best day I thought it was even though I went to a gig and seen family before hand. I still felt this tremendous sadness constantly thinking of my ex. I just have these thoughts and I know it’s only been 4 months but I felt like he was the one for me even though he fell out of love and didn’t treat me how I should have been treated and didn’t meet my needs causing the breakup. I know I sound a bit stupid thinking that and reading it when I’ve written it now as words but i just feel i am never gonna get over him and times gonna go on in like a years time and I’ll still be feeling the same and he would have fully moved on. I’ve only partial blocked him so his number and some social media, left a platform over I’m not sure why I think it’s cause I miss him, but will I always feel like this. Have I truly lost the person who I was meant to be with, just feel lost but I am trying to improve myself, social life and work life thanks x