Demond34

She still chooses her friends over family, in a situation like this? She definitely needs her space. I wouldn't even give her the option to talk now. SHe blew it off, now she has to live with it. Say nothing about the relationship when she comes back, book your tickets, take your son and let her think about whats more important to her. You're not a yo-yo. She rather go out and be a 3rd wheel with her friend and boyfriend then have the dignity to sit down for an hour or so to discuss important family matters. DOn't let her do this and then you not leave with your son either. Respect yourself, because its obvious she doesnt respect you at the moment. Don't let her confusion, confuse you!

Right now all she feels and sees is the pain you caused her. With distancing yourself, she won't build up all those negative feelings, rather those feelings will dissapate. She needs time by herself to really get her emotions in check. So she can weigh the good with the bad. My girl (5 years) was the sort of the same way, fed up, didnt want to hear anything I had to say, confused, all of that. If you LOVE her, the way you say you do, then let her go. I told my girl after weeks of trying and getting nowhere, I finally said, "I love you and you always told me to show you, well here i am, fighting for us to work, but I know i cant change your feelings but only to show you mine. BUt if letting you go makes you happy then go and be happy. I'll be there for ya when you need me as a friend, but I can't be friends with you right now." Not the exact words but close enough. I was just going with the IF you love something, then let it go. It was hard for me to do, but wouldnt you know shes been calling and we've been hanging out. All the pleading got me no where, until I started to tell her that i didnt want her to contact me anymore and that I couldnt be friends with her just yet, and i gave her space, is when i was actually was able to get thru to her. I dont bring up us anymore, b/c quite frankly they dont want to hear it right after a break up and all it was doing for me was making me miserable. I started to work on myself and take everything else day by day. Becoming the man i was once in the beginning of the reltionship, the man she fell in love with. When you're in a relationship for a long time, sometimes the little things that make a relationship tick get lost. Work on yourself brother, not her. Show her by actions, NOT WORDS that you're making changes, that you're strong and yes, that you were wrong. I heard this somewhere, Women are like shadows, when you chase them, they disappear, when you walk away, they follow. Sorta funny, but also sorta true. Keep your head up, don't get down on yourself, don't break down in front of her. If you're so caring, then care about her needs right now and act happy and cheerful when you talk to her. Do this and notice the difference with the tone of voice she uses with you.

Let her be depressed, right now at this moment, shes not your concern. She made it clear to you, she doesnt want to be with you. She is confused and that is on her to figure out. Stay clear from the situation for now, unless it has to do with your son. She's confused on staying with you or breaking this off. Seems now her side that wants to be with you could be creeping out. Whatever you do, keep your distance. Don't let her wheel you back in for a nite, only to let you down again. Keep the convo light, be happy and confident. No arguing or bringing up pointless relationship stuff. If she does stop by tom., make sure the house is spotless, everything is organized, the place smells great. Not to impress her, but to show her you can take care of yourself, keep the place looking great. While shes there, do things to keep you busy around the house and keep the convo limited. Show her how responsible you are and what she'll miss, without saying it. Smile alot too. If for some reason the relationship does come up and she starts to cry or get angry. Relax, smile, give her a wink and tell her, Hey go do what you gotta do and make yourself happy. ANd end it there. It may be hard too, but think to yourself, I'll make her happier if I just let her go and I'll take pride in that. Act that way, and you'll feel better about the situation and she may have a change of heart sooner than later, as opposed to the constant questioning. Cool, calm, and collected Be that GUY!!

Its tough as hell, I know. Your situation is similar to mine. I asked my girl a few weeks ago if this was the real you ( cuz she was just totally different) and her replie was no, and i hate myself for being this way. Don't pressure her, just let her do her thing right now and let her blow off some steam. You'll be more desirable to her if you just walk away with a smile and say nothing and get your life together while you're at it. But you have a son, so that makes the situation different. Do not bring up the US anymore to her, if you ever talk to her, make sure its only about your son. When you're around her, be confident, happy, and polite. Don't question her motives, her love for you, why she is doing this, none of that. She doesnt want to hear it right now and anything you say like that will come as threat of you trying to control her and her life. Even though its not the case, thats how she'll view it. About her leaving the door open, don't let her. Its only for her sake, not yours. You'll be left hanging and waiting until she either comes back to you or has found someone else. Feel whatever it is you need to feel right now, its fine, just dont do it around her. She fell in love with you for a reason, and you might of lost that trait with getting comfortable in the relationship. Be mysterious again, get your swagger back, make yourself less available (only when it comes to your son). She'll notice and she'll be curious about you. Six years is along time and you were married. She'll always have feelings for you. The problem now is that her interest in you has dropped. You wont get it back up by trying to fix the relationship when she's unwilling to do so now. It'll come accross as needy and weak. You gotta drive it back up with the reasons above. She is being extremely selfish right now, but as us men trying to get them to stay and fix this, is also a form of being selfish. Don't let her dictate your life, be strong. Do whats best for you and your son without her. And again say NOTHING about the relationship or the future. DOn't ask her what shes been up too, she'll let you know if she wants too. You'll be amazed at what this does. Don't give into temptation either with her. This will only string you along and give her the comfort of knowing she can have you whenever she wants. Make her want you, its all you got left to do!

She is going to be cold and distant at times, so expect it. She'll be warm to you one day and cold the next. Let her do the contacting, when shes ready, she'll let you know where you stand. Avoid the topic of us for now, until she brings it up. Take care of yourself and you start doing new things. Break up the old routine you had, and just get out and make yourself happy. She'll come around when her interest level in you is back up. Right now it seems shes searching for anything to make her happy. It almost seems like the same problem I had with my girl. Anything you say to her about the relationship, about how you changed, will just bounce off of her and she won't absorb it. She's not ready to hear it, nor wants to deal with it. Give her some time and make her want to be with you and curious of what you been up too by backing off.

Sounds like she'll be back. Take your time, dont put any pressure on her at all, no relationship talk. Let her blow off some of her steam and i'm sure she'll be in contact with you soon.... Show her the progress you made with you actions, instead of your words., Good Luck

Oh yeah, our 5yr mark of being together is coming up next week. SHould i do anything?

Update After tuesday nite when we got off the phone, I figured I wouldn't hear from her again, cuz she didnt want to hear what i had to say and i knew i wasn't gonna call her. But she still took me call. But maybe she took some of things i said to heart. She always said she wanted me to make the effort to show her i loved her. Everyother time we would fight, I would be the one walking away and acted like i didnt care. And she'd always say, You're just gonna give up. Well for once i said i wasn't gonna give up on us and that i was standing here willing to make it work. So anyway, Wed comes around, I go out with my friends to eat then to a buddy's house. On my way home, the ex calls not once, but twice. I didnt answer either time, cuz i didnt hear it. Had my music up and the windows down, its a very soothing remedy at nite. As i get home, i didnt call her back, but it didnt matter cuz she called again. We chit chatted, I didnt say anything about us and just left it at that. Thurs. morning comes around and she calls me an hour before I wake up. tells me to rise and shine, i wasnt too happy. But then she asks me if i want to come with her to the hospital with her to see her twin nephews. I said sure as long as you want me to be there, She had to work all day, so she'd have to wait to see them til after 9. She called me from work a few times during the day, one to tell me when they were born and that they were healthy, two to thank me for her card and food that i brought her ( i brought her a cheeseteak and onion rings, something shes been telling me shes been craving, and i brought her a congrats card on becoming an aunt) All i did was bring it in to her work, said congrats on becoming an aunt then left. Then she called before my softball game to wish me luck. She also called when i was on my way back down to her work after my softball game to see where i was. SO after she got out of work we drove to the hospital together. When we got there the babies were so freakin cute and precious, its such an amazing thing. Her sister asked if i wanted to hold one, i was like um no thanks, i just feel uncomfortable holding a newborn. But then the ex was like youre not leaving until you hold one. So i ended up holding one for a while, theyre so adorable. The ex wanted a picture of that and then she wanted a picture of us both holding them together. When we left, Even though it was like we were together, i never said anything about the relationship, i didnt hold her hand, hug her, kiss her, nothing. I just joked with her and just chatted. She put her arm around me when were leaving, but i didnt really acknowledge it. So she dropped me off at my car, she thanked me for everything, then we went home. Only she called me on the way home to see if i wanted to go see my bro's fiance at a bar. In which i said no thanks, i just wanna go home. Then she calls me about 30 mins later just to tell me good nite. Am I getting played with again? I'm tired of getting my hopes up and then the littlest things set her off, even if it has nothing to do with me, and things get put back to square one. I'm not gonna let her dictate my life, like she has been the last 2 months. I know she hasnt been herself as of late, she has even told me. I asked her a week ago if this was the real you and she said no and i hate myself for being like this. She knows shes a complete B#$%H sometimes. Sorry if this is so long, but you know what, every situation is unique and the more info thats out there, someone can give better information that fits the situation. Plus its better for me to just get it out there

Well that we'll be your choice to make, not hers. Shes been pushing your attempts of saving the marriage away. You've done all you could, so when she does come around to wanting you back (looks that way) it'll be your choice if you even want this or not. You might learn alot by being by yourself and that you don't need someone else to make you happy. Who knows? ... The old saying Everything happens for a reason. WHo knows, you guys could get back together and closer than ever. Only time will tell, and it looks like your're on the right track!

We'll never understand what exactly women want, b/c sometimes they are unsure of what they want.... Think back a couple of months ago, was there anything that she would say to you or do that showed something was bothering her? Like she felt trapped, overwhelmed, wanted to do something for herself, needed space? Has she been stressed at all, stuck in a rut? I felt the same way you did, then I looked back after we were split up for a lil while and noticed some things. Alot of times we get caught up in a routine with our SO and are blinded of whats really going on. Until I took a step back and viewed the relationship as an outsider, I understood more. By no means do I understand it all, b/c I'm still confused. Give her some time and try not to do everything on her terms. Thats my problem, I need more self control. With my girl its like she doesnt want to talk when i call her or talk about the relationship, but when she wants to talk its ok. Or when i ask her to hang out, I get i dont know what i'm doing. But then she'll call me and ask me to do something with her. I can't let her do that to me anymore. All in all, take a step back from the relationship and try to get a different view or understanding of it. Afterall she did fall in love with you for who you were, maybe you need to get yourself together and your confidence sky high and do your thing, and your raise her interest level in you back to the way it was. She'll see the person she fell in love with and want you back sooner as opposed to later. I've read a ton of things about relationships the past month and the most common pattern was to raise the woman's interest level that she has for you. The premise is that, they want what they can't have. Its hard to do this, b/c most men (including me) try and give the women want they want or say the things we think they want to hear. This also includes begging, pleading, asking for a 2nd chance, professing love. Maybe its just a timing issue in the situation with this theory. I know you have a son, but maybe making yourself less available to her only contact for your son's sake. Start something different with your life, breakup the old routine and do something that makes you happy and show her that youre a strong, confident man. My buddy is going thru the same exact thing as you are. SHe wants a divorce, he didnt. He played her games for about 2 months. She'd only see him on her terms. When they did hang out, they would cuddle watch movies, kiss, say i love you's. Then the next day she'd bring up the divorce. She'd also say that she would want to get back with him later, once they got their lives straighted out. Well he had enough of the ups and downs and just decided to walk away. Told her 2 weeks ago that it'd be best if they just stopped talking. I applaud him b/c it takes alot of self-control and discipline to do something like that. Hes been getting his life together and i've found out that shes been having problems as of late. He would love to be there to help her out but right now thats not his concern or business since she brought up the divorce and wants to go thru with it. He tried to save it but nothing was working, so the only other thing to do was walk away and improve his own life. You'll get thru this, it just takes time even though at times it seems theres no amount of time that would correct it. I'm struggling myself brother. Good luck with everything!

I contacted her last nite, b/c i heard she was thinking of going back down to N.C. this weekend. I called her b/c I asked her how she could go from walking back into my life and taking me to look at engagement rings to, going to N.C. without telling me. I told her to stop playing me like a yo-yo. I asked her if her heart was still with me, which she replied yes. Then i said well if its still with me, then let me back in and lets make this work. She says it but doesn't open up. But if its not, then just let me know and I will let you go, I will walk out of your life forever... She always wants to get off the phone and not deal with any of this. She also mentioned that she just wants to get out of here so she doesnt have to see anyone and deal with anything. Won't this catch up with her and eat at her? But i also said, that its not in my character to turn my back on the person I care for most and that i Love. I said if theres anything i can do for you to just let me know, if you just wanna talk, or go for a run, or go get a coffee, that i'll be there for her. I was raised to forgive and turn the other cheek. She gets pissed off from the littlest things and it over rides all the good days we had the past two weeks. She always used to tell me to make the effort and show her love. Well i left the convo like that, telling her that i'm standing here making the effort and showing you how much i love you and that i'm not gonna give up on us. If you want me in your life, and wanted to be with me, you'll let me know and then i said good bye. Will this ever end, will she come back to her old self? I told her i can't change how she feels, i can only show her how i feel. I feel better knowing i did all i could. Now the question is: If she leaves and we dont talk, will it be out of sight, out of mind? Or with distance the heart grows fonder?

That was my concern, to the Doc. I asked him if it was addictive, b/c I don't want to be taking medication for the rest of my life. He said it would be safe to take it for 6-9 months. He also mentioned the increase of appetite and potential weight gain but wasn't concerned with it, b/c i'm active and work out. I never was mentally weak or a constant worrier like I am now, but have thought about taking something. He wasn't trying to push it on me and I told him i'd get back to him. My story is in the breaking up forum and I would love for more input and maybe some direction and guidance. thanks everyone

Thanks for the info

Anybody ever take Paxil? IF so what were the positves and negatives of it. Did it work?

For real, what the hell is going on? So she calls me on friday at work and tells me shes coming down, to buy a shirt for her friend. SO she comes down to my store, we pick out a shirt for her friend and she gets one for herself. Then we order some food and eat it at my store, we also download songs for her, so i can make her a cd, as she is sitting on my lap. After we get the songs downloaded for her, i told her i'll make the cd for her while she goes to get her nails done in the mall. As my shift is over, i walk down to where she is, i sit and wait for her to get done, just chit chatting with her. Now i could of left but she said she would like me to wait, so i did. After she was done, we went looking at shoes then she asks me if she wants to look at engagement rings. So we did, we looked at them for an HOUR! We were sitting down and two people were helping us as she was trying them on. We finally did narrow it down to one. But the funny thing is when we were there, I introduced us as i was her brother. When the guy asked so are you guys together, i looked at her and said i dunno are we? She slightly nodded her head and told the guy he always plays around that i'm his sister. After the guy took my credit report and asked if i wanted to do this, i said not right now. We walked out and i asked were u excited, and she showed me how sweaty her hands were. We were holding hands and kissing as we left, thought things were good. I asked what she was up to for the nite and she said she was waiting for her friend to call her and they were gonna go out. So when she does call me later that nite, she tells me her plans fell through and that she was going up to see her other friend at the race track and prolly gonna stay up there. This is a friend who she has yet to introduce me too. I tried to keep the convo light and i said what am i not good enough, just joking around. Then she just got pissed and started just saying random things. I was like whoa, relax. I said if i knew you wanted to be with me for sure i wouldnt have a problem with half the stuff you do, i just want clarity. Her only response was do you think i would of wasted my time with you today if I didnt want to be with you. Why couldn't she just come out and say it She has 3 days off fri, sat and sun. Now I would of thought, that maybe we would spend one of those days, nights together. But NO, shes hanging with her friend at the races, her friend is dating a driver. Granted, i brought her to her first nascar race and went to many others with her as my dad is in the vendor business. Now this track is in our back yard and its the 2nd race here and both times she chose her over me. It makes me think that she has a better time with her then she did ever me, just because shes in the pits. This makes me upset, b/c now shes all about Nascar and when we were together she was so so. Now i did not raise my voice at all or not trying to fight, my friend was my witness. And all she kept saying is i'm not dealing with this s@$% and yelling and saying i pissed her off and that she just wanted to go. I was like i just dont understand, b/c this is the same stuff that pissed you off, if I didnt hang out with her when she was off. Shes choosing her friends over me and always faught with me b/c she thought i used to do that. She is just being a total hypocryte. Then she said words the pierced me, first she said she didnt want to rush into things (it was her idea about the engagement rings) and then she said she liked how the last month was, that she could come and go as she pleases and not have to worry about anything. I responded by saying then you really dont love me and that you are not ready for a relationship and i told her not to call me until she knows what she wants. I doubt i'll hear from her again. How can she say she loves me and act like this. I feel she doesn't respect me or appreciate me. What should i do? She wants her cake and eat it too.

No i haven't, i thought about going to some sort of therapy for myself, just to get my head on straight and move forward with my life with some motivation. Thanks for your response, RayKay, i think she is confused also and still has that fear of letting me back into her heart. I think I should just back off the situation, because she is so hot and cold anymore. One day its great, the next shes distant. I'm willing to put it all on the line again, but very hesitant now. She says things that are very contradicting, which shows me is confused. I thought love was supposed to conquer all.

I'm ready to throw in the towel and pick whats left of my heart up and move on...For those who have read and followed my story, me and my ex have been talking and hanging out. It just seems I'm putting in all the effort to make this work and meanwhile i just feel like im getting walked all over. Yeah shes calls me most of the time even took me out to dinner. We small talk and we talk about us. We have even went running the last 2 nites, something shes been wanting to do for awhile with me. She tells me she loves me, shes happy when shes around me, has since told me she would like me to move with her, but knows she wants to move soon. I'm in a predictament where its hard for me just to pick up and move, or i would have already. But something tells me (her body language, little comments, and my gut) that shes not head over heels in love with me. We were intimate the first nite we met back up, but since then, its like friends but with a lil more flirting and kissing. I'm just waiting to hear from her that "I love you so much and i want this to work, lets do this" but i dont get that. I feel like she'll just bail again, whenever she doesnt get her way. Sort of feel like walking on egg shells around her. She wants to do what she wants and me be cool with it, but if i do what i want, i'll feel she'll get pissed and be like i'm not dealing with this. She also called me this morning (shes been calling everyday), and we got into a little argument and she made the comment about, she cant see me and do everything with me all the time, she feels overwhelmed, and that if it was the way it was back then, then yeah she would want that. So what do i do?, I love her b/c she is really a good girl, we've been thru so much together, but she has changed, maybe she'll snap back, maybe she wont. But i feel like i'm getting used for now, b/c shes not reciprocating the love, the way she once did. I can just tell by her tone of voice and her actions. I feel uncomfortable around her, just because i dont know if i should say i love you or touch her like a boyfriend and girlfriend would. I'm ready to do the NC again, even though i dont want too. So confused!

hayden006, believe me he is thinking about you, even though its hard for you to believe he is. My ex g/f broke up with me 5 weeks ago. For the first week and a half, i did the pleading and give us another chance bit. She was cold and mean. Told me to move on and all that other stuff. I constantly was asking myself, how could she not care in the snap of a finger. Well after some thinking, i decided it was best for me to be supportive of her decision and asked her to meet up one last time before she went looking for a place and a job, so we could exchange some stuff. Instead of asking for a second chance, i told her she was a strong girl and that she should go make herself happy. After 2 weeks of NC she called me, i then told her that she shouldnt call me anymore or contact me in anyway. Needless to say shes been calling everyday since and we are starting to hang out. Take it for what its worth

Well, heres the latest. Anybody's words of wisdom would be very much appreciated. Well as you know, my ex came over 2 days before she was to leave for her trip and that was the last time i talked to her, it was emotional (2 weeks on this past wed.) After 2 weeks of NC, i got a call from her on wed. and she was asking how my trip was ( she thought i was home), but i was still there( i went to miami). I said i was still there and that it was fine and i asked her about her trip and if she had any luck finding a place and a job. We small talked for a little, Then i asked, What do you want from me?...She was silent, then said she just wanted to know how my trip was and so forth. I was like, "No", i mean what do you want from me as, do you just want me to be your friend or what. SHe didnt say anything. So i was like, well if you want me to be your friend, i can't be that right now. I said if i'm going to get over you, you can't contact me. I wasn't mean but i was serious and i said, i don't want you to call me, email me, IM me, write a letter, nothing. I said when my B-Day comes up in a month, don't send a card or nothing. Then we got off the phone with her saying I'll talk to u later and i just said yup. Later that nite (still in Miami), she called my phone, but didnt leave a message. SO when i saw that she called the next morning, i returned her call the next morning ( i know, just went against my word). I left a message, that i was just returning her call. She called me back on my way to the airport and she offered to pick me up.... i was like why is she doing this ( to myself of course). But i accepted the offer.... As i was walking to the baggage claim, there she was waiting..she came up to me, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and it seemed she was so happy to see me. I wanted to scream WTF, but i gave her an unsure, protective embrace.... Then i asked her, why are you doing this, she said just stop... We went out to eat, She paid , but i broke down and gave her a huge hug with feeling and she was like "finally" and she was genuinely happy. We kissed, she sat with me on the same side of the booth, shared a dish, it was good. On the way home is where i brought up the friendship/ relationship crap. I said if we're going to be friends we can't talk or see each other until we can truly be friends and that we can be ok with seeing one of us with someone else and not be jealous or angered by it. I said theres no time table on that, and that it could take years. Shes like how about never, (meaning she'll never be able to be ok with seeing me with sumone else). Women- confuse the living S*@t out of me. She said she would love to see us work out, but she also wants to be indepent, blah, blah, blah. I told her to just go and do her thing, i dont want to hold her back and all that other stuff. Now she doesnt know if she wants to go... Anyway we got back to my house, i asked her to come in, she said no at first, (she was scared b/c she feels she let my mom down and wonders what she thinks of her). i assured her my mom loves her no matter what. But she came in, i joked around with her most of the nite, teasing her and one thing led to another and she ended up spending the nite. It was really a great nite, just like the beginning of our relationship. I did little things to her, with her, and for her that i haven't done since back in the day and she even mentioned that. But i'll tell you this, When she came over before she went on her trip and told me her plans...Thats when instead of asking for her back or giving me another chance, I told her that i supported her decision and i really hope she does well...She told me last nite that she felt i was pushing her to go and that i didn't want to be with her. Reverse psycology?... It wasn't meant to be, i was truly genuine about it. I told her last nite that i was just doing what i was supposed to do and that is, if you love something let it go and if it comes back then it was meant to be. All in all, i'm still protective, b/c i'm not going thru the heartache again. I can see she truly cares about me, loves me, but did i do the right thing? Was it too soon? I don't think i'm gonna call her, i'll let her do the contacting. I still want to give her, her space and at the same time really think about it is that I want. I love her to death and i really want this to work, but i think it should be a gradual increase. Should i let her chase for a little, to see if this is really what she wants, she still may be confused. Sorry this is so long, but it feels good to vent, even if i don't get a response. Maybe someone viewing it, can take something from it, and help their situation.. A month ago i was a wreck, felt hopeless, so unmotivated, an absolute mess. On my trip, i had alot of time to reflect, and i know now, you just have to know who you are, be comfortable in your own skin, know what you like and want, and just be able to be happy by yourself, you will enjoy life so much more.

Can't forget, Jagged Edge- Good bye

Its only been a week, this has happened for 3 consecutive weeks. She initiated the last contact and thats when i told her i support her decision (instead of asking her to lets work things out). I gave her some things back and wished her good luck. She went to another state to look for a job and a place for a week. She said she loved me and kissed me, i said i love you and good luck. I won't try and make contact with her again and if she tries to contact me, i'm thinking of avoiding it. Miss her like crazy. I was in a whirlwind and very depressed and broken hearted but I'm slipping to the anger state of mind. I'm heading to Miami for a week, when i told her this she seemed concerned of when i was coming back. I dont even know what to think, just trying to put her out of my mind. Constant reminders make it tough.

Anything by Yellowcard Ex.- Only one, Way Away, Rough Draft, Firewater, Cigarrette The Four stairsteps- ooh ooh child Stained- Right here and the ultimate, Brian McKnight- One last Cry

Just my opinion: I always thought blondes were hot but I think Brunettes are sexier. I'm attracted to both, but would pick a dark haired girl 9 times out of 10 over a blonde. I agree that alot of the blondes I've met do seem to have an "I'm better than you attitude". not saying there aren't brunettes like that but just my personal experience. Anyway do what you want, that makes you happy. If you don't like it then switch it back. But you'll never know til u try.

Well, don't know whats going on yet, I will not contact her and right now I don't know if i'd want her to contact me yet. I'm slipping from depressed and heart broken to angry and resentful. I don't know why that is but if she calls, I don't want to come accross as angry and say anything that might be offensive.... My family has been great and supportive. I got good friends. I'm gearing up for a trip to miami this week, so things are getting better...slowly.. Just taking everything one step at a time letting everything play out its course. I know one day, I'll get up and be myself again. But Today is not that day.

Just and update SHe called me last nite about 1 a.m. coming from her friends house. If i was sleeping I never would of answered it because I'm a deep sleeper. But i was up thinking about her, my mind was doing circles. The convo didn't start out nice,she still has alot of resentment towards me, but after talking, i asked if she could stop by quick so I could give her some stuff back and she could drop my key off. When i got dressed and grabbed her stuff and on my way downstairs, she was already coming up the stairs. This was a hard for me, cuz all i could think of, that its the last time. Anyway, I went back to my room and the first thing she did was come in and give me a big hug, this caught me by surprise but i did embrace it. We then laid on my bed and she laid on top of me and talked for over an hour. I was strong in the beginning, we small talked for a little bit but it ended up getting deeper. SHes excited to move but shes very scared. I asked her what her biggest worry was and she finally told me that shes scared that shes making the wrong decision by leaving and hurting the ones she loves behind. This really makes her emotional. I told her, that its time shes makes herself happy and that the people who love her, support her and her decision. Me being one of them. I support her decision and I deeply love her. I told her shes stronger than she realizes and that she will be great and everything will work out for her. I love her so much and I want to her to be happy. Why can't I just let her go? By no means did I try and put a guilt trip on her. I told her she has to try it. She asked what if its the wrong decision and she doesn't like it. I said you'll like it but if you don't, then you come back home, your family and everyone that loves you will accept you and then you come up with a new plan and go from there. I told her i was scared about Life's Uncertainty and that shes not alone. Just take baby steps and see what comes about. I wish i could follow my own advice, i just feel so lost. When she did leave, i walked her out to her car and we stood there and hugged and she even kissed me. she said she loved me and i said I loved her. I also said she meant the world to me and i wished her good luck. SHe drove off and thats where it is now. I felt good last nite, because i felt like i got some closure. But now I don't feel so good. I never had a breakup like that, where both people said I love you and were emotional. SO i have no idea what to expect. I guess I try and move on even though i don't want to believe its really over...I wont try and contact her, I'll leave it up to her. SHe leaves tom. to go looking for a job and a place in N.C. for a week..I'm taking a trip to Miami next weeek...