meyerjek

i just gotta ask what the NC thing is

you gotta fill in that major gap, you said you both love each other, then you went straight to being hurt, what happened

it sounds like this girl needs to grow up a little bit and stop playing games with you. About the arguments, a lot of people take your approach, but it really is best if you dont give in, you'll feel better if you dont give in, and if she really cares about you, she should want you to feel better about whatever you are arguing about. About her not appreciating things, it sounds like she has just grown used to you doing special things for her, so im guessing you two have been together for a while ( just a guess though), thats rough. If you stop doing things, she will of course notice, but if she doesnt notice it when you do things now, why bother doing them. Do what you feel like.

sorry to interrupt you two but... i know how you feel man. I'm 19 and i have never had an official g/f either, lil fling never last long enough to become a relationship. Also, you sound like the PG guy, well so am I, and that kind of sucks, because most girls dont seem to figure out that this is the type of guy they want until later in life, and i dont care what wlf is saying, they do eventually figure out that a nice guy is what they want, but on that note, make sure you can also loosen up and have a good time. Bottom line, dont change who you are, you will eventually find a girl that will be your best friend and g/f, and it will be a lot better than any of the relationships wlf is talking about ( sorry about the attack wlf, but i just dont agree with your way of thinking at all)

you can go a bunch of ways with this. a lot of girls just flirt with the guy a lot until he makes a move. others will straight up tell him that they like him. Then in the conversation that will follow either then or in the near future, they mention that they just want to see how the relationship develops, and that they arent ready to commit yet. Yet is the key word in that sentence though, he has to know that it could develop into more.

i dont care how good your hand is, another person is always better so dont worry about it, keep doing whatever you want

I dont know if i believe in signs like that, but what i do believe is that this girl is always on your mind. Granted those were some crazy things to be happening like that, but still, no matter what brought about these thoughts, you are thinking about her a lot. It couldnt hurt to just see hows shes doing, what shes been up to... if shes single

i always become really good friends with them, while hoping it will turn into more when she breaks up with him. But in the back of my mind i know there isnt much hope, you might want to give him a lil bit of a hint that it could happen in the future, but you do have a b/f now, so dont make it too strong

get to know some of the people you are working with. they have the same schedule as you do, so they will be looking to hang out on week days. Also, if your buddies dont have too full of a schedule, an hour is not that long of a drive, they could come see you a few times.

I have been friends with girl A for about 8 months now, and she has become one of my best friends in that time. for about 6 of those months we were doing a lot of flirting and i thought it might become something more than friendship, but now we both just agree that its better if we stay friends. so after we decided that, i started trying to move on. The first girl i was interested in met girl A and girl A told me to go for it. However, the more the girl got comfortable with me the more she was herself, which was a horrible person, I have never been around a more self absorbed person, and she also turned out to be a coke dealer so.... winner, maybe not. So i moved on to girl B, who girl A has never met. Things have been going really well with girl B, and I have told girl A about some of the things we have said to each other. Girl A freaked out when she heard that girl B told me i would break her heart if i stopped calling her. She said that there was no way that girl B was that attatched to me that quickly. I agree but she took this further, she freaked. She basically just told me not to bother with this girl because she was obviously lying, which i found a lil harsh since girl B just gets caught up in emotions. Girl A was just getting started though. She took it further, and said that not only does she not trust girl B, she doesnt trust me. This is coming from someone who is one of my best friends and she has told me many times that I am possibly the best friend she has ever had in the short period we have known each other. Then she went even further saying that she doesnt trust my motives, she seems to think that I'm only her friend because i want to be more, which isnt true, and came out of no where. Now i should warn you, she was drunk when she said this, but she is the type of girl that just speaks her mind when shes drunk, she only says what she wouldnt say when she was sober, so i believe these are her real thoughts. Now i am trying to figure out how to deal with this. I am going to trust her word and believe that she doesnt have feelings for me, so thats not why she is freaking out. Now i am stuck between thinking she really doesnt trust me or view me as much of a friend, and chalking this up to her taking out her anger on me. She has been dealing with depression so sometimes she just needs to get her anger out. If i decided that she doesnt see me as much of a friend, then i'll talk to her and find out if she wants me to stick around or distance myself from her. But if i just pass it off as her venting, then how can i tell her how mad it made me when she told me those things. If she was just venting, then they might not be true, and calling her out on it would just prevent her from coming to me when she needs to talk or vent in the future. I cant make her feel like she cant come to me, because Im the only one she talks to about this stuff, so i have to be there. so i was hoping that someone might be able to tell me how to handle this situation. sorry for the long post, i seem to have a problem with that.

Sorry man, she has a girlfriend, you are probably only on her friend radar. It can be hard to get used to this, i have a lot of friends that are lesbians or gay, and it can take a little bit of getting used to. With lesbians, even when they seem to be flirting with you, most of the time they just want to flirt, because lets face it, its fun to flirt, but dont read into it at all, they still want to go home with a girl.

I know where you're coming from man. I get stuck in this phase all the time. You're prolly like me, you really need to get to know a girl well before you know that you def want to be more than friends with her. The problem is, the rest of the world labels someone as a friend of romantic prospect right away, and it is really hard to cross that line. Maybe sometime down the road you two will be more, but for now, just take her as a great friend. I know that sucks to hear, and is even harder to do in life. I'm trying to do the same thing right now, so trust me, i know its not easy. good luck

Ok, sorry if this seems like it isn't organized, this is my first post. Ok so the first night I met this girl we were at a party and we talked the whole night, and at the end of the night she told me I should join this organization she's in, and she wasn't getting anything for me joining so that wasn't it. At that point I didn't know what I was agreeing to join, but I said yes because I really liked this girl, and I thought if I checked it out and hated it, I could get out easily enough. Well as it turned out, initiation for this organization was the next morning. So the next day I woke up way too early and went to initiation. It was kind of funny when I had to turn to some random guy in the middle and ask him what I was joining. It turns out it's a service frat, which I am still in, so that was good choice. Andrea and I would always talk to each other at the meetings and at the parties, but it took a little while before we started hanging out outside of the service frat because I am possibly the least aggressive guy ever. Towards the end of the semester we had what we call out date auction, and Andrea was up for bid in it. I had no intention of bidding on her, because that's a pretty pathetic way to get your first date with a person. So when the meeting ended and it came time for the date auction I got up to leave but Andrea stopped me at the door and told me I had to stay because she was up for bid. So I stayed but still had no real intentions of bidding on her. Once she was up there though, she just kept starring at me while other people bid on her. She started to look so helpless when it looked like some weird guy was gonna win that I finally started bidding on her, and it took a few times of adding to my price, but I won. So I had a date with her, but I wasn't really lookin at it was a real date because I just paid for her, and that doesn't count. But this opened the door for us to start hanging out outside of our service frat, we started hanging out more and more often, and I started to like her more and more. Everyone has this picture of what their perfect girl would be like, and the more I got to know Andrea, the more she was that girl. We kept flirting all the time, and her best friend kept dropping major hints that Andrea was really into me. Well it turned out that Andrea is just a little bit of a flirt, and her friend was wrong (but for some reason her friend still really wants us to happen, it's kind of cool). The reason I know I'm wrong is that one night at a party I told Andrea that the only reason I joined our service frat was to get to know her better, and that I hadn't even known what I was joining when I joined. She seemed to love it that night, she spent the rest of the night flirting and just always wanting to be hugging me or sitting in my lap or whatever. But the next day when I brought up maybe being more than just friends, she said she didn't want to date me. Kind of crushed me, but she tried to say that she really just didn't want to date anyone, so that helped. So I tried to start treating her just as a friend and we got closer and closer every day. Soon she was one of my best friends when she seemed like she was kind of getting over her not wanting to date anyone period, oh and also a part that I left out, she is 21 and I'm 19, and that had been a problem earlier, but now she seemed to be fine with it. The night that I finally decided it was ok to start showing my feelings for her again was at this toga party where she kissed me, and then when we left she brought me back to her place and I stayed there. The next day I woke up as happy as I have ever been, but when we talked about it later on, she said it was a mistake, and that we were just drunk, so it didn't mean anything. That one hurt. But I didn't give up hope, we kept getting closer and she started bringing up the relationship thing on her own. She kept saying that I was exactly the type of guy she wanted, but she just wasn't ready for a relationship, so I went back to just treating her like a friend while she took her time. We got even closer, to the point where she might be my best friend now. Then she started going on dates with random guys she would meet at bars, while saying she wasn't ready for a relationship with me. After constantly hearing about her random make out guys, one night when she asked me if she should go on a date with this guy I told her that if she liked him she should go, but to stop hiding behind not being able to be in a relationship with me. Kind of stunned her since I never call anyone out. She said that she just saw me as a really good friend at this point, and that next time I should become more than just friends with a girl before becoming her best friend if I want to be more. That really sucked. So I started doing the random make out thing with girls, and I started going on dates with other ones, but these girls just don't compare to Andrea and the closeness I have with her, so I still want her. The other night she called me in tears because she is going through a tough time. I could tell that she needed to talk to someone in person, so I started walking from my dorm to her apartment, which is about an hour long walk. I stayed on the phone with her during the walk, and didn't tell her that I was coming. It was so cold out i'm surprised she wasn't able to tell I was outside just my lips going numb. When I got to her door I told her that I thought she needed a hug, and that she should go to her front door. She came to the door and just jumped into my arms. We started talking and before long I had her laughing and smiling and being her normal self again. Some of my friends asked me why I walked that far for someone that doesn't seem to appreciate me, and I told them that seeing her smile was enough, and that wasn't me being fake, seeing her smile really was enough, it made me happy to hear her stop crying to hear her laugh. I ended up staying that night, but nothing happened, I just slept on the floor next to her bed even though she offered to let me sleep with her in her bed. That was just the other night, and I'm just wondering if after all this I should just accept her as a best friend, or if I should believe what she said about wanting a relationship with me, but now not being the right time. I'm pretty sure that everyone will say I should just accept her as a friend, I kind of agree, it's just hard to put my feelings aside. So if you have any reactions let me hear them please. Sorry I rambled and prolly didn't make that much sense, I just needed to get this out. If it something doesn't make sense or it seems like I left parts out (which I know I did), just ask me, thanks for anything you can say.