alonegirl

If you don't mind PM ing me also. I am in a similar situation and lik confused and hurt would like a little insight. Thanks

Those are the same questions that run through my head everyday that my ex does not call me. It has been over 8 weeks and I have not talked to him once. He tried to call me one time didn't leave a message, I called him back left a message he never returned, maybe he called me by accident who knows. I don't understand how they can not at least call to see if you are ok or something, we were together for 4 years, I wonder if he ever cared. I don't know how some people can just walk away and turn their backs, I don't want to be friends either I totally understand you just wanting him to call just so you know he cares I am right there with you.

I was just going to say that, men do it too. It's happened to me twice yet I have never or ever thought about doing it to someone els.

I work for eye dr's actually retina specialists we deal with floaters all the time. If you experience a lot of floaters I would recommend going to get them checked out just to be on the safe side, it could be nothing but it could be something that might damage your vision. I am not trying to scare you or panic you I hope you don't take it that way.

I think sometimes the problem is not always with the relationship but sometimes with the person. I know in my case there was not a whole lot wrong with our relationship, but he was very depressed with where his life had gone and where it was going and I think he started to resent me for it rather than looking at himself and I believe that is why he looked elsewhere, he is looking for someone else to make him happy. It was nothing with our relationship as this will keep happening to him unless he fixes his problems himself.

I am having a really hard week and I guess just needed to vent. It has been 7 weeks and 1 day (how sad is that I am still counting the exact days)since my ex boyfriend broke up with me after 4 years basically because he had met someone new. We have been NC since that day except last week when he called didn't leave a message, I called him back like 1/2 hour laterdidn't answer so I left a very casual message along the lines of saw that you called just seeing what's up. I have heard nothing since. So of course now I am dying to know what he wanted and wat to call him again so bad but I haven't. Part of me thinks maybe he is trying to see how long I can hold out without calling him back again I don't know I could be way off. It's just so hard to go from someone being so close to you and being the person you always turned to and now you don't have anything not even a phone call. He was so depressed with his job and where is life was heading I think he started to blame me and liked the infatuaion stage with something new, the feeling he was getting because it probably has taken away from his unhappiness. But I wonder what will happen and when the infatuation wears off and he realizes he is still unhappy maybe realizes I wasn't the reason he was unhappy in the first place. Last night my 4 year old niece had a end of the year program and I couldn't even make it through the whole thing without crying. My ex and my niece we VERY close. She was 3 months when we got together and when she 4-7 months he babysat her during the day has he didn't have a job so my sister would pay him to watch her. They had a very special bond. She has a bond with all of us but there's was very different. We used to kid around about who she loved more and when we would go see her we would always make little bets about whose arms she would run to first, I always lost. As I watching her on that stage all I could think about was him being there and smiling and being so proud of her and it just broke my heart and really has bothered me. Then my ex ex boyfriend called me (they must have some sort of radar that alerts them to when we break up with someone) last week and I told him everything that was going on and he was saying that he wanted to be my friend through this, he wanted to cheer me up and make me laugh and take me out. We were supposed to do something on Friday, well he didn't call me so I called him he said he had stuff to handle and would let me know, never called me back. I happened to run into on the road on Tuesday and he called me and acted like nothing happened, but since then he has been very distant with my text messages, and now today he is just not respoding. I feel as though I am now getting rejected by two people. I have no romantic feeling for my ex ex so I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I just feel like "what's wrong with me?"

I am having a really hard night and I'm not sure why. It has been over 6 weeks since my ex-boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me basically to be with some girl he met at work. I was starting to do a little better but tonight I feel as though I have taken 6 steps backward. We have been NC since the day we broke up which is very hard and also very annoying. I can not believe that he hasn't called me to at least see how I am doing, he has just walked away from 4 years like it was nothing to him. He did call me on Monday but I missed the call and he didn't leave a message so I called back like half and hour later and he didn't answer (he was probably with her by then) so I left a very casual and upbeat message that I saw that he called and just wanted to know what's up. I have heard nothing since. It is driving me crazy to know what he was calling me for. I still have minor things at the place and my cat is also still there (he agreed to keep her until I found my own place) so at first I thought he was calling me to come get everything but the more I thought about it I think he would rather have that conversation with my voicemail rather than acutally with me, because then it saves him from having to hear how much he hurt me (he already knows he broke my heart and part of me would like to think he feels a little bad but who knows. ) I don't really know what to do now, some people tell me to call him again most people tell me no, that I left a message the ball is back in his court. He are both very prideful people and I know that it really boiled down to who was going to call first and he did, but now I feel like he is testing me or something to see how long it will before I call him again which is why I am not calling eventhough I want to so bad. I think that could be what's happening but I could be way off. I then start to question the whole NC thing because I wonder if the more NC I do the faster he forgets about me, I feel like because I am doing NC maybe he gets the impression that I don't care or didn't love him or something but that is not the case. My brain is just working overtime tonight I wish I could just shut it off. I guess more and more I am realizing that it is over but there is that part of me that still thinks maybe one day things would be different. I know I could probably never trust him again and I shouldn't want to be with him again, my head tells me that but my heart tells me how much I love him and miss him so I guess my heart carries the hope. I don't know, I'm just obsessing tonight and I'm not sure why.

Layla, Speaking from experience GET OUT NOW. I was in a abusive relationship for 2 years. I remember the first time he got physical with me like it was yesterday, and after he had done it he did exactly what you're boyfriend did, "Oh baby I am so sorry, I didn't mean it, I love you, I love you, it will never happen again" So I stayed thinking thigs will get better, let me tell you they will only get worse. He has now done it once and it will become a natural reaction to him everytime you guys fight. I didn't want to listen to anybody tell me what was really going on and what he was doing me, but let me tell you there was one day that he beat the s**t out of me like I was a man, it was that day a day I almost died that I finally realized what was going on and that I needed to get out. As for the other thing he did that is rape. He totally took advantage of your emotional state at the time. If you said no to him then that is rape. If you ever want to PM you can, I just wanted to give you a little advise from someone that has gone through it.

I am so glad you posted this, I have been doing NC for almost 6 weeks now (since the day he broke up with me to be with someone else after 4 years) and there isn't a day that I haven't wanted to call him. This morning I was just starting to question myself and this NC thing thinking that maybe because I haven't called him or try to beg he may think that I don't care and if I don't care then he doesn't care. I started to think that maybe he was thinking that I never really loved him or something. But then I remember the day he broke up with me, I did my begging and crying then so he knows that I care and that I love him. There is just not any closure with our relationship, there are a lot of things I want to tell him and a lot of questions that I want answered but I also know that me contacting him may not get any of that solved. He broke up with me if he wants to talk to me he can call me. That is what I need to keep telling myself. Thank you so much for your post, it has really hit home.

I don't know why I would want to be with a guy that did that. I think it's because it hasn't really hit me what happened, I think I am still in too much shock. I don't even think I would take him back I think it would just be nice to get a phone call from him, that may make me feel like at least he is thinking about me. My head knows that I deserve the best but right now my heart is talking.

I'm starting to question this NC thing. What if by doing NC he thinks that I don't care about him or that I should be fighting for this relationship. Then I have to talk myself out of it, he knows I care about him and I tried to fight for this relationship the day he broke up with I did my begging and pleading then. And I guess since he was the one that broke up with me the ball is in court so to speak, I guess that just scares me because I'm slowly beginning to realize I will never hear from him again. I know I should feel that if he gave up and walked away so easily I shouldn't want to be with him, but that is easier than said done, for 4 years he has been so sweet to me and cared about me so much was that all an act? Or is what he is doing now an act? I could drive myself crazy with all these questions.

Oh wow I like you have tried to pretend that my ex had actually died that way I didn't have to wonder what he was doing. I would say to myself I wonder what he is doing, oh wait he's dead he's not doing anything. Like for you it didn't work for me either the other side of my head said he's not dead you know he's alive. This just sucks so bad. Thank you for replying to my post, it really helps to know that I am not alone in this.

It has been a little over 5 weeks since my ex boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. He gave me reasons but in reality he had met some girl at work that he decided was worth risking our relationship for. I am just so hurt by this I don't even know how to deal. The biggest problem with our relationship was that we were stuck in a rut, we would talk about it but neither one of us never did anything about it. Tomorrow would be our 4 year anniversary and about 6 weeks ago we were talking about what we were going to do. It makes me sick to think that he will be spending it with her and he will have her to distract him from thinking about it. There is a little part of me that hopes I will hear something from him tomorrow but I know that won't happen. I try to keep myself busy but nothing seems to work my mind always travels back to him. We have not spoken since the day we broke up and that is the hardest thing to deal with. Many times I have wanted to call him and tell him how much he hurt me but I haven't. I know I won't get the reaction I want. It's like being a drug addict and having someone just take your drugs away. To have someone in your life for 4 years day in and day out and then all of a sudden poof they're gone. Everyday I hope he will call me and everyday he doesn't. I know he has no obligation to care about me anymore but I wish he did, after 4 years I would like to think that he at least cares about me but then why hasn't he even called? I always have these little daydreams about him calling me and I know that is probably not good but I just can't stop them. I wish I could switch off my mind just like he switched off his feelings for me. Two days before he broke up with me kissed me and told me how much he loved me and how he wanted to work on us and he didn't want to loose me. I keep hoping this new relatinonship is some sort of rebound and hope it won't last but as everyday goes by I just get proved wrong. I just can't stand the thought of them working, I understand if he doesn't want to be with me but I don't want them to be together. I want him to be happy just not with the girl he left me for. As sad as it is I still love him so much and I miss him so much. We really had a good time together, we laughed and joked around. Why is it that I only remember the good and he is probably thinking about the bad? I just feel as though I am getting worse everyday. I balled this morning just thinking about tomorrow and it's not even here yet. My heart just aches as everyday passes. I thought I should be getting a little better by now but that is not working. Everyone always says you need time but I am the type of person that wants results right away, I don't want to feel this way anymore. He probably doesn't so why do I? He is out living his life why can't I get passed him? I am still just in so much shock. I feel like I am just standing here with this confused look on my face and the world is just zooming past me. How do you tell yourself it's really over? How do you make yourself realize I probably won't ever hear from him again, we are done? It just hasn't hit me yet I guess. I am just having a really hard day with an even harder weekend to come. I just really needed to post here and write it all out.

I don't know if I can help you in any way but I wanted to let you I know EXACTLY what you are feeling right now. It has been 5 weeks since my ex-boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me out of the blue. We had just gotten back from a trip to California and the day after we got back he broke up with me. Not really much of an explanation he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship, and that he loved me but wasn't in love with me eventhough two days before this he had told me how much he loved me. Well it turns out in my case he had met a girl at his work and was talking to her while we were together and I guess he decided he would take a chance on it. Our only real big problem was that the romance was gone, and I think he liked the feeling of something new and exciting. I thought that as each day went on I would be getting better but I think that everyday I am getting worse. There are some mornings I just lay in bed and think and like you I have tried everything to take my mind of him, I stay busy, I even went out of town nothing works. It may work for a little while but I still always get to a point where I remember what is going on. To make matters worse tomorrow would be our 4 year anniversary and to know that he will be spending it with her and he has her to distract him of it makes me sick. I haven't spoken to him since the day we broke up, I wish so badly to hear from him, part of me hopes tomorrow I might hear from him but I am not counting on it. It has been the hardest for me not to contact him. My life is also very empty. We lived together, we had the same friends, so I have now had to move back in with my mom and I don't really have any friends because my best friends moved away during the relationship and all my other friends were his friends. I don't understand how someone can switch feelings so fast. It's obvioulsy not bothering him that we are not talking but it's killing me. I often feel the same way why bother if this pain is just going to get worse. I know I probably haven't helped you I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this. I really feel for you, and hopefully we will both start to be doing better soon.

I can't really offer you any advise but I can let you know that I am feeling the EXACT same way. My ex-boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 5 weeks ago told me things like he didn't want to be in a relationship,wanted to go out with his friends (he's 26) well in my case he was full of crap and really had met some girl he met at work that he is now with. We have not been in contact since the day we broke up. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I feel like if I don't call him and beg and plead to try this one more time that maybe he will think I am not fighting for the relationship or something. But on the other side he broke up with me the ball is in court now if he wants to talk to me he could call me. Which he hasn't which is amazing to me, I used to mean so much to him and was so important to him and now he doesn't even know if I am alive. Two days before we broke up he was telling me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me. Most of the advise you will get will probably be not to call him, they say sometimes it makes them realize they miss you but more importantly it helps you heal, I am having a hard time with this but for some people it works. It is the hardest thing to understand, the way people change so fast. One day you talk all the time now all of a sudden you don't talk to them at all, it's like a drug addiction or something, I feel like I need to talk to him or something. I'm sure I didn't help you I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

This is a question I find myself asking all the time. My ex boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me out of the blue one day. I have not spoken to him since and that was 5 weeks ago. He has not tried to contact me in any way, which just amazes me. It feels like he just doesn't care anymore. He also told me that he didn't feel the same way about me. Our situations sound very similar, however I found out the real reason he broke up with me was because he hat met another girl at work that he is now with. I feel and felt when we first broke up like writing him a letter letting him know I how I felt. It wasn't going to be a angry letter just a letter to express how I feel eventhough I should be angry I am not there yet. I too as though everything is slipping away and I am not doing enough. I wrote the letter and debated on wether or not to send it for days, I finally came to the conclusion that I expected or hoped something would happen if I sent the letter. I was afraid that he would not respond at all and then I would be back to square one. So as long as you don't expect anything from this letter than send it, but if you are hoping it will do something I'd think about it.

Well it has been almost 5 weeks since my ex-boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me to be with some girl he met at work that is 7 years younger than him, and I am just having the hardest time. I really needed to come on here and post as I'm sure my family and friends are tired of hearing the same thing over and over. We have been in NC since the day we broke up and it takes every fiber of my being not to call him and b$%#h him out, let him know all the paind he is causing me. He doesn't even know that I know he left me for this girl, so he thinks he got away scott free. I so badly want answers to the questions I have in my head, I know that I will never get the answers and I also know that if I called him there is a huge possibilty that he will be an d^&k and then I would be back to square one. I just don't understand how someone can one day love you so much and want to be with you and then the next day not want to be with you. How do you go from being so important in someone's life to being nothing. I have not a heard a word from him, it's like he doesn't even care about me anymore. Maybe he doesn't. I just feel so rejected, I love him so much and I gave him so much of me and I dedicated so much to the relationship, I stayed when he was going through a lot of s%^t never once occurred to me to leave because I love him. We lose the romance in our relationship and he bails? He took the life that we built over 4 years and threw it all away for someone he had known for like 4 weeks. How do you just walk away from someone that used to mean so much and never look back. I feel like he pulled the car over pushed me out of the passenger seat, put her in it and drove off never once to look in the rearview mirror to see me crumpled into a million pieces all over the street. I feel like I was thrown out like yesterdays trash. I don't understand why my love wasn't enough for him or good enough for him, I know I shouldn't feel that way but it's hard not to. Will she stand by you through thick and thin like I did? no probably not. I was the most stable thing he had in his life and he threw it away, it's like he is having some quarter life crisis or something. We really did have a pretty good relationship I thought, we didn't fight that often, laughed a lot and went out and had good times. Why is that all I can remember and he must be thinking of the bad? I wish I could be angry at him but I am just so hurt, I can't seem to get past that. The feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about it. Saturday would be our 4 year anniversary and up until 5 weeks ago we were talking about what we were going to do, now it makes me sick to think that he will be spending it with her. I try to keep myself busy I even went out of town this past weekend but it only helps for a little bit, I then come back to realty and it hurts all over again. I want him to regret his decision so badly but as every day passes he probably just gets happier and happier. I hope he does regret it one day but I am the type of person that wants instant results, I want him to regret it right now. I know I have to get past all that it is just so hard. I am just having a hard time understanding all this, I am going to try to put these questions out of my head.

I must say that I agree with everything Codaaurora said it was a little harsh but it is the truth. My ex-boyfriend of 4 years broke off our relationship because he had met someone new at work. I know that she was not just an innocent bystander that did nothing to encourage this. I also know that he shouldn't of been having anything to do with her if he was in a relationship same as your boyfriend. I can tell you that I have chosen not to try to be involved with him or break his relationship up but I can see where some would because it is deserved. His relationship should of ended before you two became close, if he was that bored with her he should of broken up with her or at least talk to her about it. It is a very hurtful thing when somone you love leaves you to be with someone else for whatever reason. I am not saying that you should care about what she is feeling but maybe try to understand where she is coming from and why she is so hurt.

The biggest complaint with the relationship was that it was boring and that she was starting to bore him, that is why he looked elsewhere. He wanted to feel that new and exciting feeling that he had lost with her. Rather than talking to her about it and trying to spice the relationship up he took the easy way by meeting someone else (no offense) That is why her pleas to get him to stay with her didn't work, he had someone new to move onto.

After ending a 5 1/2 year realtionship to be with you I am sure he has not healed from his relationship with his ex. If he is accepting her letters and looking at her pictures maybe there is something there he is not ready to let go of yet. 5 1/2 years is a very long time there are going to be a lot of feelings towards her regardless if he wants to be with her again. You should not feel as though you always have to be the world's greatest girlfriend everyone has problems. However seeing as how he left a relationship to be with you I could see where you might be afraid he will do the same to you. (Doesn't really sound like a good relationship) My ex-boyfriend of 4 years just broke up with me to be with somone else, and I don't harass him or anything like that but I can understand where she would be having a hard time dealing with it. It is very painful. Either way if he wants this to stop he needs to put a end to it.

My ex-boyfriend ended our 4 year relationship to be with someone else, his biggest complaint with our relationship was also that it got boring, he met someone new and exciting but evenutally that wears off also. It's very possible maybe he is having feelings for his ex now that the newness with you has worn off, or he could really just care for her as a person, he could feel bad for breaking up with her to be with you. If he broke up with her to be with you he could very well break up with you to be with someone else. I don't mean that to come out mean just giving you my opinion.

I guess I am just having a hard time trying to figure out how you just break up with somebody after 4 years and have nothing to do with them. Everyday I keep thinking that he will call me and everyday I am more and more disappointed. I am just so afraid that he is gone forever and that I will never hear from him again. Does he not even think about me, I guess not cause one would think he would call if he did. The fact that I don't hear from him leads to believe he is happy with her and happy with his decison which is not what I want to happen, I so badly want him to regret his decsion. I try to keep myself busy but that doesn't help, I am driving myself crazy. I just miss him and I don't understand how he doesn't miss me. 4 years is a very long time. How do you just walk away?

I forgot to sat that is NC the right thing? I feel like maybe I should be fighting for this relationship, what if the NC is pushing him further away from me? What if he forgets about me or thinks that I don't care? I know he knows I care, I know he knows I loved him with all my heart but then there is that side that just questions if you are doing the right thing.

So it has been a little over 4 weeks since my ex boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. We have had no contact at all, which is very hard. He is seeing someone else, I think she is the real reason he broke up with me. I just can't seem to let go of this hope that we will get back together. I know everyone is gonna say you shouldn't even want to get back with him but that is easier said than done. I just have all these questions and thought running through my mind, he told me how much he loved me two days before he broke up with me, everything seemed to be going ok in our relationship I think he just likes the inital feeling you get when you meet someone new. He has reason to contact me, there is still some stuff of mine at the house but I have heard nothing. He isn't even calling me to keep me stringing me along in case this realationship doesn't work out which I thought most guys do. Not that I would allow that to happen it just seems like he just threw away 4 years and he doesn't even look back. I know he probably isn't even thinking about it because he has her to distract him. I know I should let go of the hope and just assume we wont get back together but that is hard. After 4 weeks NC, him seeing someone else is there no hope?

My ex boyfriend of 4 years just recently said some of the same things, and I could not understand it our relationship seemed great. He was very unhappy with his job that was really our biggest problem, it affected him way to much. I keep blaming myself too but I recently read somewhere that a lot of times when one partner feels as though they are not in love with their partner anymore it is usually because they are lacking self love and they look to their partner to make them happy. And if they feel unfulfilled in one aspect of their lives they take it out on their partner and start to resent them. I don't know if that is true or not but it fits in my situation and it's a little easier to not blame myself. Don't know if this helps or not.