h_b_k_02

Anyone, for those of us still in contact with our exes? Do we go all out and splurge, or do we play it safe?

Long time since I posted, but here goes. I didn't talk to my ex for 4 months. I dated and slept with someone else since, she has done nothing but sit at home. Funny, she broke up with me to go out and have fun . Well, we started talking again since and have seen each other for 2 weeks. I have kept emotions in check, however am getting impatient. I have an interesting topic regarding Christmas gifts for those exes we'd like to rekindle with which I wish to pose. Check it out.

Doc, it would not hurt you one bit to go on a date. You are ready, you are always ready, you are just telling yourself you aren't ready. Spend a weekend in bed with someone else and feelings will do a complete 360, believe me.

Some guys just won't approach girls because they feel no need to. I'm fine with or without a girl. I have never made a move to get a girl, never had to. For some it is also merely the ego. I think that is part of my problem too. My buddies always telling me to hit on such and such, you could have it if you want. I prefer sitting back and waiting for the girl, I think I give them more respect that way.

Having thought a bit more about this, I don't think the term girlfriend holds any real significance once you pass your teenage years. Once you hit 20+, you simply gotta be the man (or woman) and they won't want to see anyone else. Makes perfect sense to me. They're going to want to spend all of their spare time with you, and you can do this too if you want to be with them, but make sure you keep them on their toes. For example, last night we went out again, and it went very well. At the end of the night, we parted ways, and she said "I always leave her wanting more". Now like I said, all signs point to the fact that, yes, she is committed to me, just won't say so. No big deal, I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing and not let this stuff bother me anymore. We have gotten along so well and we speak now every single night for at least 30 minutes, so subconsciously sounds like she already is my "girlfriend". I'm very new to this but it all seems so simple now .

Thanks all. Just thought I'd see other ideas get thrown around. Haven't posted in a while. Whatever I am doing is 100% definitely working, so I'm not too concerned, only a matter of time I suppose.

Nah, it totally makes sense. I ain't about the sex= or lead to commitment either. I like her, she likes me, and it will be very good. She has already told her ex-boyfriend (she already has told me that will never happen again) about me. I didn't even pressure her into that, she just plain out came and said "I need to have a talk with the ex tonight". I was like "WOW". She said it wasn't simply because of me but I definitely impacted the speed to which she would tell him. She is definitely interested. I am just going to show her I am the man

No, no, not thinking that at all. Just thought it would be a nice night together, with it being close to my birthday and all. I don't expect that alone to cause the commitment.

Hello, it feels so good to be posting in a forum other than the "Getting Back Together" forum . I have met someone else nearly 1 year after a 6 year relationship that went bad. In this year I have seen a few girls only to have egg in my face with every one (1 was engaged, etc., yaaaa). So anyway, this one I know now is absolutely incredible. So honest and just looks at me as if there is noone else around. She gets so giddy in front of me and it just seems that I can do nothing wrong in front of her. Anyway, we have been "seeing" each other about 2 weeks, and Saturday we spent together the whole day and couldn't keep our eyes or bodies away from each other. We have begun talking on the phone every evening as well just about anything, and I'm talking good, solid, flowing 1 hour conversations at least. We also work together so we see enough of each other, and she knows I am trying to get her to be attached. Anyway, she does want to sleep with me, so I said ok and that will be happening this weekend. She said it would not be just "sex" because feelings would be involved. She is also going to come meet a cousin and my brother/sis-in-law on Sunday (it's my b-day this weekend). Now having said all this, she seems to not actually want the tag of girlfriend, even though it does sound as though she is. My question to all of you is: How long would one wait until she finally gives in to what I want which is that commitment? I figure a couple more days like last Saturday (this weekend I'll get another) and I should be good to go. Just really new at this whole dating thing and I think the commitment will keep the egg off my face this time.

I wouldn't even bother. You sound like you're doing ok so do you really want to risk not being ok just to hear her voice? I would avoid like the plague if I were you.

Words of encouragement would be to keep things cool when she calls, don't tell her you aren't seeing anyone, and continue to do what you're doing.

Doc, I was in your place once. Believe me when I and everyone else here say it gets easier. I actually am feeling so incredible this past week. I started seeing this chick last Wednesday and it's all good. No commitment tie down (yet anyway), someone new to get to know, and who knows where it goes from here. I actually look forward to what might happen in the future, not worry about the future as far as my ex is concerned. I guess it is time for me to start becoming a little wary of the dreaded "ex girlfriend phone call" though, but I am fairly certain I wouldn't even have the smallest of inkling to answer, cause why bother. Meet someone else, and see where it goes. This has been the best wake-up call for me and I am so glad it has happened, just wish it were sooner.

You're thought process is the same as mine. You know what though, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, it matters what you and her think. This girl I am seeing now, she is like totally the opposite of what my parents would deem acceptable, if they knew enough about her. I use to be all paranoid about people and their past, and how that would affect me, but in the end, it is only the present and future that matter. Sometimes it's just time to let the past go. It is very, very hard to do and like I said, it takes months to overcome the loss of someone, but you will eventually be ok. If it slips away, you have to just let it. It will be much easier for you. I have even started thinking about this other girl and my ex has slipped my mind on a number of occasions. It sounds so crazy to me because not 2 weeks ago that was always on my mind. Not now. Now I think about myself, I even think about this girl more than her. I want this girl to get attached to me because then I will have some control. She said she gets attached easy, and that is good because I am trying to keep her at arms length for now, have some plans with friends this summer. But I see her everyday (she works with me), so only a matter of time I suppose. I have reached the critical point where the ex no longer has a place in my life, period. I don't think I will take her back anymore, and if you read some of my previous posts, it might sound like I'm crazy. It is all about getting back out there, seeing others and just having fun. Take things slowly with whomever you might meet and let it fall into your lap. It feels kind of weird but liking someone other than the ex is the biggest hurdle to overcome. We are all strong enough to do this.

Doc, I hate to say this, but trust me, you do have a rough road ahead of you. My ex and I broke off last June, became "friends" and basically started to slip away from each other in January of this year after dating for close to 6 years. It is tough. When she started slipping away, I chased, begged, did all this crap. Well, it took a girl from my work hitting on me for me to no longer care, I once again have my confidence back, like this girl (she is the exact opposite of my ex LOL), and I'm going to see what happens with her. I no longer miss my ex, and if it helps I was saying not 2 weeks ago that I did. It just kind of happens. I have become much more popular with my friends, I receive more phone calls from them to go out, and like I said, was asked out by a girl this week. Keep your chin up, confidence around other women happy, and believe me, one day you will wake up and realize it was her loss after all, not yours.

LOL, sorry dude, I just re-read that part of my post. I didn't mean it that way, sorry for the misunderstanding.