Hey.
On Friday night me and my boyfriend went to a friends party together. I hadn't seen alot of my friends girls and guys that evening and was excited to see them again and was cathching up with everyone and didn't really have much time to spend with my boyfriend. Whilst i was happy and having a good time, whenever i asked my boyfriend to come with me and talk to them he was just like no eff off. I was just like um ok and ignored him because he was just in one of his small moods. When i did go and sit with him he didnt pay much attention to me and was just like oh your back, im surpised you didnt spend the whole night with such and such. It turned out into a petty argument and then he started being really spiteful and calling me an idiot and such and saying i was acting like a prat infront of everyone. I think maybe because he had drunk too much. When he doesnt get his way he always goes into one, and took it out on me becuase he wanted to spend the night with me, and i was with friends alot during the evening instead.
He started to make the issue of me catching up with friends instead of being with him a huge deal and it broke out into a big argument. We were standing at the bottom of the stairs and as he got really infuriating i told him that i wasnt going to talk to him until he settled down and pushed him out of the way ready to leave. As i did this he grabbed my wrist as i went to push him, and aggressively pushed me onto the stairs.
I just sort of banged onto them and it really hurt. I was shocked at what he had just done and that this was the first time i had witnessed him be drunk and annoyed at the same time. I really didnt like the way he was and thats why i wanted to leave. I began to cry on the steps were id falled and herd people around me asking him what he was doing and what have you done?!! When he saw me upset he came to me and in my ear kept saying he was soo sorry and that he loved me and kept kissing my head. I kept telling him no dont, because i didnt want him to see me soo upset and i didnt want to be around him. He didnt leave me alone because he kept comforting me about what he had did and picked me up and asked people to move out his way and brang me upstairs into one of the rooms.
Still crying and upset, he repeatedly kept hushing me and saying i love you and im sorry. I was really upset and he just layed me onto the bed. Still in tears i asked him dont what are you doing and he was just like i love you baby. I was too upset and thinking about what he had just done to realise anything else. He kept saying he loved me and kissed my stomach and pulled my pants and underwear down. I had my hands over my eyes and i was so upset that i just let it happen. I just kept weeping and was like what no Michael dont!!?? He was just like its okay shhh. He was having sex with me and it wasnt at all what i wanted to make me feel better over what he had done.
We havnt had sex before and he has brang it up alot about doing it. I wasnt ready and i feel as if he used my emotions for a reason of making it up to me by what he wanted. I think he maybe thought it would bring us closer over what he done but ive made it clear to him before that i wasnt ready. Im really uncomfortable around him and on that evening i was scared.
Im confused over what happened.
