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AmikeA

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  1. AmikeA
    Don't get me wrong, I do love my family. I just can't stand them. I feel like I don't belong, like I am different from everyone else. We are complete opposites. There are many reasons and to condence things I will give just one example. I am the ONLY non smoker in my house, as some of you can imagine this itself causes many problems. Especially because they make me feel like I am the one causing an inconvenience for everyone else by not smoking, people won't even open a damned window in my house unless I ask them too. Its not that bad because I pretty much have the entire basement to myself and closing the door blocks out most of the smell, but I still come home too many times and find my dooropen and the stench in my room. Like my other problems I try to talk with my family about this but I am quickley dismissed. Even though I contribute as much to the house as I can I feel as noone even cares about my opinion, and I do try to fix things by talking about it. This has been going on for a few years now and I really feel the only solution is for me to move out.
  2. AmikeA
    Hmmmm I think I actually may not be ready to be friends yet... When I am out with my friends and I meet girls I find myself measuring them against my ex, is this normal? Its a problem for me because when I dated this girl I wasn happier than I have ever been in a relationship. I still feel like I will have a hard time finding this again, and im suddenly finding myself angry at her again. I thought I was past this. I want too move on but I can't yet... argh
  3. AmikeA
    Thanks for the help, I an definatly going to ask her about it. I completely agree, while I don't see myself as possessive perhaps in some way I am and I just don't see it. That was my whole point, if I am like this and don't even notice it I have some work to do on myself. I would just rather know for sure rather than go into another relationship second guessing everything I do. I believe if I ask the right way I can keep the conversation with my ex from getting negitive.
  4. AmikeA
    Hmmm thinking about this more I think I might still have feelings for her and I am just fooling myself into thinking I don't. I do know that my feeling are not anywhere near as strong as they were however. I really don't know what to do. Perhaps things will be more clear to me after talking to her? Or that might make things worse. Jjhung, yea I have realised love can be both positive and negitive for us. It is by far the strongest emotion we are capable of and can both make us feel happier than we have ever been, or worse than we though possible. And a bad break definatly can mess up your future relationships
  5. AmikeA
    Here is the thing though, she wants too stay friends. I don't think I can while having this hanging over my head. Yet bringing it up can only end bad i think... i dunno what too do..
  6. AmikeA
    This is getting very interesting, After we first broke up we talked about the future, she said she believed there was a future and that she just couldn't handle a relationship at the moment etc... I told her I would wait for her, she dismissed this however saying she didn't want me too miss out on anyone else that may come along and that she doesn't know how long it will take for her to be ready. I thought about this and decided that she really didn't think there was future and was afraid to upset me... Your post however makes me rethink this whole situation. While my feelings have changed, I do think its possible to get them back. I now wonder about her intentions.... I certainly can't bring all this up right away, should I wait and see if she does?
  7. AmikeA
    Interesting reply yet now i am even more confused. When we first broke up I told her it wouldn't be a good idea for us to be friends because it would be very hard on me. She got VERY upset when I said this. I thought about it much and called her about a week later and told her I would try to be friends but before it could work I needed sopme time away from her too clear my mind. Fast foreward to last week, I told her I think im ready to try the friends thing now and she said "great". Now I am so confused. We broke up because she "wasn't ready for a relationship" she has a whole lot going on in her life and told me she couldn't put the effort into the relationship that it deserved. So with her being so eager to stay/be friends you are saying she wants too keep me in her life in case things can work out in the future? Man I am confused now
  8. AmikeA
    Thanks for the answers, but neither of them fully answer my questions, I am very weary of asking her about this, somehow I think it would be a bad idea. I asked one of my good friends who was around me and my ex alot during our relationship about this yesterday. She said I was in no way possessive, and not to worry about it too much because her and other people knew this. Yet it still bothers me and I want too know why me ex would tell her friends this, yet I think I will never know for sure. p.s. cool icon nexus,
  9. AmikeA
    My ex told one of her best frineds that the reason she broke up with me is I was too posessive. This bothers me more than I can explain because I try so hard not to be that kind of a person. I certainly don't see women as ojects, and don't treat them like they belong too me. This is my definition of posessive, now unless I am completely worng on my definition I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am not like this. It bothers me that she would say this though. I have thought about it alot and there are a few explainations for this. Did she really think I was possesive or was I (if so i have some work to do on my self cause i had no idea). She may have used that reason to justify breaking up with me to her friends. Or this could all just be a rumor her friend was spreading. Again this all bothers me quite a bit, would it be a mistake to ask my ex about it?
  10. AmikeA
    I find the easiest way to meet a girl you don't know is a joke. I guess it doesn't work for everyone but if you are funny then starting things with a joke is a great idea. You immediately know if she has a good sense of humor etc...
  11. AmikeA
    You really just kinda know man. However be careful as you can trick yourself into believing you are in love. Some good signs are, if you put the other person before yourself, you think of them constantly (although this could just mean your attached to them), when your around them things seem somehow better. I dunno amn its hard to explain, oh how I tried though.
  12. AmikeA
    If it truly bothers you be careful how you handle it. Certainly don't freak out while she is hugging someone. Just let her know it bothers you, don't be mean or act superior etc... And DO NOT bring it up during a fight or disagreement. I would recomend a neutral time when you are both alone, maybe watching tv or a movie or something calm. Bring it up something like "I know you mean nothing by it but it bothers me when...." If something truly bothers you its best to talk about it before it strains your relationship.
  13. AmikeA
    its not that you want youe ex back, you just feel lonely and want someone. Its hard for me to explain fully cause im quite tired right now and pretty lazy but ... You get so used to having someone there for you, someone you can call etc... Its not that you miss your ex, you miss having a boyfriend.
  14. AmikeA
    I find email way too weird, I dunno it seems so impersonal too me. But I do like your other suggestions, not bringing up the relationship is a great idea, I think at first anyhow. I can't ignore the fact that I was in love with this girl at one point and we did have a great relationship, but bringing up stuff from it too soon into our friendship would most likely sabotage any chance we may have in having a real friendship.
  15. AmikeA
    hmm.. I have been thinking about this alot and I want to tell her that I miss talking too her, which I do. But after your post im not so sure if it would be a good idea. But then again its not like im telling her I miss her, just that I miss being able to talk too her, after all its hard to talk to guys about some stuff and all my female friends are away at university etc... Yea I definally don't want to make her jealous or anthing, I haven't even really dated anyone so thats not a problem Not that I havent been out meeting people, im just not looking for another relationship right now. OK so far.. steer clear of feelings and jealosy, anyhting else?
  16. AmikeA
    Maybe some people remember my previous posts... It doesn't much matter though, its a typical situation. We broke up but still cared for each other and agreed to be friends. I soon realised that was a mistake, well so soon after anyhow. I explained all this too her and went NC until now. While I still have feelings for her, they have changed. In the last couple months I have become myself again. I have been going out again, meeting girls and having goodtimes again. I regained my confidence and am really feeling good overall. I really feel that I have healed and feel great about that. So today I messaged her and told her I am ready to be friends if she still wants too. She is supposed to call me this week so we can talk about stuff. Herein lies my problem, for the first time ever I don't know waht too say to this girl. When I first met her we connected because we had such great conversations, now I don't know what to say. I treally want this friendship thing too work out, so I am afraid I may say the wrong thing and drive her farther away. I know nobody can tell me what to say, your not me and don't know me, what i'm looking for are things I should steer clear of. Female responces would be best, you have all been in this position at some point and know some uncomfortalbe things guys have said
  17. AmikeA
    OH SNAP, I forgot to say that you shouldn't be trying to change yourself so much, Your individual personality traits are what make you the person you are. If you truly believe your shyness gets in the way of your day to day life then yes change would be good. But if you just have a hard time expressing yourself around the opposite sex its nothing to sweat over. When you meet the right person you will naturally become comfortavble and less shy around them, thats one way of knowing that they are the right person.
  18. AmikeA
    I love shy girls, there are alot of guys who also do. It makes them seem more innocent and I find that very attractive. I hate when girls have more experience than me or will make out at the drop of a hat
  19. AmikeA
    Haha I feel weird asking for advice on a forum, but im so confused... OK so I met this girl and im getting all these mixed signals, I need an opinion here, none of my female friends (whom I usually goto for this kinda advice) can figure this one out either. So I met this girl a few weeks ago through friends, I noticed she was looking at me accross the room, but that doesn't nessisarily mean anything, anyway I talked to her a bit through the night and we exchanged MSN names. We all decided to go out (we had all been drinking to a bar within walking distance. I walked with the girl the whole way, we held arms and flirted a bit nothing too eventful. Anyhow at the end of the night she invites me to a party she is having with all her close friends that friday. I wake up the next morning and she has already added me and when I log on she makes sure im going to the party later in the week. Fast foreward to the party, she mostly ignores me the whole night, but she did have ALOT of friends there that she hadn't seen in a while, no big deal I assume shes not actually interested and hangout with some people I know at the party. So a week later im doind homework and she messages me and asks if im going to pub night that week, she invites me to her house because some people are predrinking there before the pub, she even offers to pick me up after class, She is interested after all I think. That night went very much similar to the first night I met her, we talked a bit during the night and walked to the pub, flirting on the way. When we got there I lost her, again she was with some of her friends she had found. Again I find some people I know and hang with them. Eventually some of us get up to dance and I see the girl by herself. So I go up to her and we dance, she then disappears again, I have a few more beers with my friends and we leave the pub. The next day the girl messages me asking if I want to hang out that night, I wanted to but had WAY too much homework so I had too decline. She messaged me the other day making sure I was going to the pub again this week, I'm not sure if this girl is interested in me or if she just thinks i am cool to hang out with. Anyone care to offer some insight? hah sorry about the lengh, I even cut a bit out
  20. AmikeA
    Man im in the same situation. Problem is ALL my friends get together on the weekends and my ex WILL be there. Its not that I hate her or am even angry/bitter towards her, it just hurts me too be around her so soon and know we cant be together. I have purposly been keeping a distance and been hanging out with people from school alot more. I find it refreshing to meet all these new people and its really helping me. Of course I still keep in touch with my other friends, I just dont go to parties and stuff with them. So like someone above I suggest meeting your friends without your exbeing around. If tey are good friends they will understand, I know most of mine do.
  21. AmikeA
    thanks steve, it seems you went through the same thing i am going through now. I know I will feel better eventually, and being busy with school helps me so much. Its just that on the weekends i miss her way too much, trying to avoid her causes me to be antisocial Anyhow this raises another question, why do girls do this? Is it a way to help them heal faster? And do they know how much worse it makes things for the guy?
  22. AmikeA
    well i know i need time away from her to heal, although no matter how much I try its impossible for me to avoid her completely. I think I am on the right track as it only seems to get easier. But I find myself wanting to just cut her out of my life forever to help me heal faster. While this would help me now I fear I would regret it later. Oh it also bothers mebecause she doesn't seem to be hurting nearly as much as I am. It makes me feel like our relationship meant nothing too her. She has been spending alot of her free time clubbing with her friends (she actually went clubbing the day she dumped me) , somehow this makes me feel like she chose to dump me so she could goto clubs with her friends without feeling any guilt about what happened inside.
  23. AmikeA
    I am such a mess right now. We broke up almost a month ago because she couldn't put as much into the relationship as it deserved (her words), she got so busy with school, work and such that it was too much of a strain on her. I completely understand her that our relationship had to end, and I may even respect her more for having the courage to end it before we became bitter towards one another. But I had never in my life felt a pain like that. I cried for the first time that in like 6 years. Although I feel much better than before, I still hurt alot. She is the first girl I truly loved, I thought I was in love before but I was young and nieve. This is the most selfless, careing person I have ever met and I really don't want her completely out of my life. I want so much to be able to bejust friends with her. I am willing to wait for her to be ready to try again, but she told me she doesn't want me too miss out on anything because i am waiting on her. I have been avoiding her will all my effort because I really want to heal and be able to be friends with this girl. But in avoiding her I have cut myself out of my circle of friends and end up sitting at home saturday night rather than being with my friends and risking seeing her. This makes things incredibly hard on me, and i fear i am becoming depressed. I am fine during the week because I am so busy with college that my mind is too occupied to think of her much. For some reason though on the weekends I miss her an ignorant amount. Some advice would be very much appreated.
  24. AmikeA
    UPDATE ok so I called her and talked to her. But said she didn't see anything wrong with saturday. I know it wasnt just me that she was uncomfortable as well, she looked miserable. So I asked her why she seemed so upset, she said she just had alot on her mind. Its pretty obvious that my being there was upseting her so why won't she admit this to me? Anyhow I explained to her that I really want to be able to be friends with her, but to do that we need some time away from each other. I told her not to take it the wrong way, that I wasn't mad at her I just need time away.
  25. AmikeA
    yea that really helps, thats exactly how i feel i should deal with this. Thing is other people keep telling me not to call her etc.. But really I know her best and should best know how too handle this, am i right?
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