wanderer

right, so i got dumped 3 weeks ago by a girl who was cheating on me and lying about it and such (i found out all this AFTER i got dumped from other people, i don't think she knows that i know) and i've accepted now that it's over, finished, done. she's already dating another guy, ironically enough the same guy who she was cheating on me with... but now i have a new problem. we go to the same school, so i still have to see her pretty much every day, in the halls, etc. we don't have any classes together, but we are both in the same club after school so i see her there when we have meetings every week. it still hurts to see her, because she acts likes nothing's wrong and my friends say she hasn't even mentioned me or the break up at all. i want to know what is a good way to take the pain out of having to see her at school, because honestly half of me hates her cheating lying guts and wants to strangle her, and the other half wants to talk to her to let her know how i feel, but also to let her know that i don't hate her and we can still be friends. but right now, i just don't know how to deal with it, and why i still get a sinking feeling inside when i see her, even though i know i'm the better person than she is (i gave this girl my love and loyalty while we were together - i didn't do anything wrong to get myself dumped)

it's alright as long as you don't lead the rebound guys on too much. if they're aware that this is why you're dating them, then it's cool in my opinion. if not, then i feel bad for those guys.

this question has been plaguing me forever. my girlfriend dumped me for an real jerk of a guy who's only interested in her body. it makes me so mad, since i'm a nice guy but very few girls actually like that in a guy (even though all girls say they want a nice guy)

my girlfriend dumped me about 2 weeks ago, giving me the usual stuff like "love you but not in love with you" and "we need space", your usual bs. i found out one week ago from her best friend that she was seeing another guy while we were dating, not consistantly but it happened more than twice (probably a lot more) with the same single guy, who she used to date about a year before we got together (we were together for six months until she dumped me) i was suspiscious of this guy all along but i trusted her when she said he was just a friend and she would never cheat on me. i have not talked to her at all since she dumped me, but i have crossed paths in the halls at school a few times, which are very awkward. so i ask everyone: how do you go about confronting someone who's cheated on you? i know our relationship is over so many of you will say "she not your problem anymore, forget about it", but i just can't stand the idea of just going on like nothing happened. as far as i know, she isn't aware that i know she cheated. i fell for this girl and i gave her my trust and my loyalty (i passed up many oppurtunities to cheat on her) and she treated me like crap. my friends have told me that she hasn't even mentioned anything about me or the break-up, so it seems like she doesn't care at all about me or my feelings. how can someone be so insensitive?

i'm only 17 and my girl walked out after 6 months, but i know how you feel. it's hard to understand how she can go from saying she loves you, and having a seemingly perfect life together, to her just leaving and acting like nothing ever happened. it hurts to think that she is happy with another guy while you sit at home broken hearted, it seems like she doesn't care about your feeling at all. i'm still young so i won't say i know more than anyone here on this kind of thing, but i will say i know how you feel because i'm going through the same thing. no contact is the hardest but safest way to go now. it's been two weeks ago that i got dumped, but i'm beginning to realize that this is my time to myself; i can use this time to clear my head and work on improving myself. workout, pick up a hobby, get some new clothes, pick up a new skill (i recommend art), read some shakespeare or whatever kind of literature you're into. if you improve yourself both mentally and physically, you'll build up your confidence. self-confidence will help you resist contacting your ex, and women can tell you that a man who's confident with himself is a lot more attractive than a man who is not.

i'm just so mad because she cheated on me, and i never found out, and then she dumped ME? it's really aggravating and i want her to know that i'm aware now of her little fling, and if i had known earlier, she would have probably been the dumped, not me.

you might have read already that my girlfriend of 6 months dumped me about a week ago. well, today i found out from a mutual friend that she was messing around with another guy on at least one occasion while we were dating (we were about 2 months into it) it makes me very mad because i even asked her about it at the time, if the guy was hitting on her or anything (not because i was accusing her, just because i wanted to know if i should tell the guy that's she's my girlfriend and i'd appreciate it if he didn't hit on her) and she just said "don't worry about him, he's harmless" (they even used to date for about month, but it ended a few months before we started going out) so now that you know the story, here's why i'm telling you. i want to confront her about this eventually, because i feel very offended and angry that she would let this go on for so long, with her knowing that i put my trust in her and i would do anything for her. i even bought her a ring because her previous one much like it had a missing piece, and this was after the party where she cheated on me and lied about it. i want to know how to confront her about it though, and when. we broke up about 6 days ago, and we haven't talked since. she doesn't know that i'm aware of her messing around with this other guy.

what would happen if you just calmly asked her what's wrong?

you may have read about my situation here already ( link removed ) but i've been thinking about it and i have a new problem. when she broke it off, she was vague and seemingly afraid to tell me the whole reason why she decided we couldn't go on. now, i'm trying to decide if i should talk to her and then start with no contact for a while, because i still need some answers to help me decide if she was just being irrational or if she's really not into anymore. the trouble is, i'm afraid of scaring her off if i do try to talk to her, and i'm afraid of pressuring her into avoiding telling me the truth. i've been telling her throughout our relationship that she can always be honest with me and tell me exactly what's wrong, and i stand by that. i want to know how we can go from a relationship that seemed to get better and better to her telling me she never fell in love with me, even though she said she loved me over the past 6 months. i want to know if there's a chance if we can get back together, because i think we were both starting to grow on each other in a positive way until she broke it off. i must sound really confused, because i am, but i do know that i want the truth, and i can handle the truth much better than having both of us not know what to say. if anyone can provide any advice, please, because i'm really lost and i need to know if talking to her soon is a good idea or if i should wait.

my advice would be to send her a card to let her know that you're still thinking about her, but don't buy one that has a message already printed on it. instead maybe buy her a traditional card , and then write yourself what you want to say. just my 2 cents, and good luck to you.

actually that's what happened with her... she was away at the beach for 2 weeks also, and she came back like this.

yea, it's really killing me thinking about it. part of me wants to talk to her as soon as possible, because i need to know more clearly why she did this, and more importantly, if she's willing to give us time and then get back together (i which i think is reasonable because i didn't do anything wrong) she said she didn't feel like we could be true to each other because i acted "too polite" around her. i admit i put on a sort of pedestal, only because i've never had a girlfriend before and i wanted her to know how much she meant to me, that she's different from my some of our friends who are girls. on the other hand, the other part of me wants to wait, give her her space, and talk to her after a little while so she can see how i'm still strong and i'm more than willing to get back together and treat her the way she really wants to be treated, because before last night, she never told me when there was a problem, even when i asked her if she was happy with me, she never told me what was bothering her. i think i deserve a second chance now that i know what she wants from a boyfriend. the question is when to tell her, because i still love her very much.

hey man, i'm in pretty much the exact same situation you're in, with a few differences. one, i'm 17 and she's 16, so we're still in high school. two, she just dumped me yesterday, so i'm still ocnfused and sad as anything right now. that said, as one who's going through the same uncertainty as you are, i can really sympathize. like you, this girl is my first girlfriend, and like you, she said she needs time away. unfortunetly, when i asked how much time, she said "i don't know" and she never said for certain that we would get back together. i'm not an expert at this kind of stuff, but i wanted to reply because we're basically going through the same difficult time... and all i can say is good luck! we're nice guys and all we can do now is make ourselves stronger and even more attractive to the girls who are currently away from us. i'm here for you, i want to know how this works out.

i've used to read the flirting tips and such on this site a few months ago, and now i'm coming back to this forum for advice. i'm 17 years old and about to be a senior in high school. last night was the last date with my girlfriend of just under six months (our anniversary would be september 1st). when we got back to her house from the movie theater, she told me that she had always liked me and liked being with me, but she said she never fell in love with me, the way i did for her (head over heels even) she told me that she doesn't think we should see each other for a while, and i guess that means no contact for a while. and right now i'm having trouble sorting out my feelings, because on the one hand i should admit that this could be and most likely is the end of the relationship for good, but the other part of me believes that it's just a break, we can get back together and we can go on to have a relationship where we both love each other equally. the trouble is, right now i don't think i can trust what she says because even though she said she never fell in love, she used to say "i love you". i really don't know what to do or say or even think about the whole thing. needless to say i was really heartbroken last night, and i woke up this morning thinking about why she suddenly said this. we've never had trouble with our relationship before this, and the last 2 months have been particularly amazing, or so i thought. i'm trying to decide whether or not i should talk to her sometime soon, because i still have some things i need to say, to tell her how i feel because last night i couldn't really think clearly or speak clearly because i was so hurt. the stupid part is, she says she wants time away, but we go to the same highschool together and we go back to school in 3 days, so i'm bound to see her at least every now and then, we share of lot of the same friends there. i apoogize for the length of this post, but it's the situation i'm in right now. any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks.