wanderer

we went to planned parenthood today and explained what happened. they told us we were fine and didn't need the ec. my gf takes yaz and it says on the insert that she's covered 7 days after the sunday start. we had sex 14 days after she started it and even though she missed the day before she was still covered.

the only problem is that planned parenthood is closed tomorrow (sunday) so we'll have to get the prescription on monday, which means she might not get the actual pill until tuesday, and by then it's been three days. we figure we have until 10pm on tuesday, which is 72 hours. i heard somewhere that you can take a few regular birthcontrol pills to equal one morning after pill since the pills are so similar. is this just a myth? why does planned parenthood have to be closed on sundays..

she did read the directions and she told me it starts working after a few days. she takes yaz

i really need some advice here, it might be an emergency. my girlfriend and i just recently started having sex (we were both virgins up until a few days ago). she's been on the pill for about a week and a half, but last night she missed her pill (she had it the night before) and she took her pill just now (11pm is when she usually takes it) we just had sex about a half hour ago, and the condom broke. i didn't ejaculate inside her, i pulled out because i felt it snap and i ejaculated a second or two after i pulled out and moved away from her. i need some advice here, what are the chances that she could get pregnant? she missed her pill last night but i didn't ejaculate inside her but ive heard there might be small amounts of sperm in pre-cum, which might have rubbed off when i was still inside her. could she get pregnant from this?? i really need some help, we're panicking here. thanks

maybe her job is particularly stressful on mondays and tuesdays? i know my girlfriend is always a little bummed on certain days in her school schedule rotation.

thank you both for the words of encouragement. passion, after reading what you wrote about how my insecurity would be what ends the relationship, it sort of made it clear to me that you are absolutely correct. her being around other guys isn't going to end our relationship, but rather me being afraid of herr being around guys will push her away because she will be aware of my insecurity. thanks for the thoughts!

hello everyone, another relationship query for you and yours to ponder: i have been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for 11 months now. 7 of those 11 months have been long distance, as i went to college 7 months ago, and she stayed in my hometown as a senior in high school. i'm 19 and she's 18 now, and we're getting closer to the summer when we'll be together consistantly again. we have a great relationship and we talk on the phone every night when i'm away. we love each other very much and tell each other so everyday. we have our small troubles whtat pop up every now and then, but nothing out of the ordinary of "normal" relationships. however, she's starting to receive, happily, college acception letters and, unfortunately, some rejection letters. and it got me to thinking about what will become of our relationship next fall when she goes off to college as a freshman. most likely, she will attend a college that is close to mine, and in one case right up the street from me, so the distance isn't the main issue. what i'm concerned about is whether or not she'll want to stay with me after she goes to college. i realize that it would be selfish of me to think that she has to stay with me even if she doesn't want to, and i more than anything to be happy, even if she's happy with someone other than me. but sometimes i lay in bed awake at night seeing next school semester as being the painful death of our relationship. i'm in college right now and i don't have any other girls i can imagine myself being with. additionally, (and i don't mean to sound arrogant), but my girlfriend is a very pretty girl by anyone's standards, so i know she's gonig to get a lot of attention from guys when she goes away to college (she goes to an all-girls high school so she's not used to being around boys very much) and i feel like it's just a matter of time before she finds someone new and i get replaced. i know she would never cheat on me, so i fear the long drawn out process of her drifting away until she finally drops the bomb on me. i've brought this up to her actually, and she's told me that she doesn't want to hurt me, and she told me she's very happy with me and thinking about the future is useless. i realize that i sounds very paranoid to be thinking about this now, with next year being so far away, but i am just so happy with her and i am afraid of losing her. i know that relationships at our age aren't supposed to be long and committed, but we care about each other so much. any advice or calming words?

i've had the same issue in a previous relationship actually. i'm like you, i am a more quiet dude. my gf at the time was also a little on the quiet side, so maybe it's just both of your personalities? anyway, the girl i'm dating now is more outgoing and talkative. she usually is the one who brings up topics of conversation, and i haven't the problem these days, for the most part. however, she seems less engergetic and talkative around me as opposed to her girl friends. i've brought this up to her, curiously, to make sure she wasn't for some reason bored with me (you and i aren't so different i see) and she said that she realizes she's less bouncy around me but it's because i'm not so energetic and hyper, so she's adjusting her tempo to match mine more. i think you should bring this up with your girl. it will let her know that you've noticed it in case she hasn't noticed it. i think in general, though, girls are always more talkative with their girl buddies than with their boyfriends.

hey this is a quick question. i have had my left eyebrow pierced for about 4 months now. in the lasat week or so my left eye has been twitching every now and then. it ususally happens about a dozen times a day, and it stops twitching after about 10 seconds each time. i'm worried it might have something to do with my piercing, considering it's only the eye that has the piercing over it. i took care of and cleaned the piercing pretty well for the first month or so, but for these past 3 months i have only been cleaning the piercing maybe once a week. i've never removed the piercing, but i sometimes play with it with my fingers. not the best habits, i know. anyway, could my piercing be causing my eye to twitch? it doesn't hurt but it's annoying and i want to solve the problem before it might get worse. thanks.

i go to a small school with one main cafeteria and two small cafes that only serve coffee and pastries and stuff. there is a whole foods store about a 20 minute walk from my campus and i don't have a car or bike. i have a bottle of multivitamins which i take spottedly at best, it just seems to slip my mind when i''m rushing out the door to class and such. and i am a guy, elektrahere.

hi, i'm a college student and i'm in my first year. so i've recently come to the realization that it's very difficult to eat healthy here. i find myself eating fried foods all the time and generally not getting all the vitamins and stuff i should be. our healthy food selections are not very appetizing most of the time and the only grovery stores around are quite a far distance from our campus, plus i'm strapped for cash. not only that, i can't cook to save my life so i am essentially a slave to the school cafeteria where i continue to eat burgers and fries. does anyone have any suggestions? are there any tips or tricks i can use to get out of this unhealthy habit?

hi, having trouble growing up again: i'm a freshman in college. i'm home now for thanksgiving and today my high school had a small reunion breakfast thing so we could see everyone from our class. i saw all my old friends which was cool i guess. however it was also very awkward for me. i felt like while they were friendly to me, they didn't really care that much to see me. like sure it was nie to see me, but it's not like they missed me. the only conversation i made to my friends was small talk about college and stuff. yet all my friends seemed to be reminiscing and hugging and were dying to see each other. i just felt left out. it made me feel pretty worthless. i feel kinda ostracized because while i was friends with a lot of the people in ghigh school, i never had any class with them (they were all in advanced classes that i couldn't get into). in addition, i think tey know me as the kid who hasn't started drinking yet, while they all have, so they probably either don't want to include me or they don't know how to treat me anymore. on saturday we're supposed to all hang out and get dinner and stuff. i just worry that it will be the same thing, they'll all have a lot of fun and i won't know how to participate. also, my girlfriend is going to be there, and while she and i are very close and things are fine with her, i feel like they'll be more happy to see her than they will me, even though they've known me a lot longer and know me better (she didn't go to our high school) what should i do? am i being paranoid? how can i change this frame of mind i have?

when i first asked me now-gf out, it was a long time ago when we were just friends. i also was like "we should hang out" and she was like "sure" thinking it was not a date. then later i was like "oh yea, this is a date" it was a little awkward. haha. so i know how that is man. but anyway. i think you should tread softly here. you already made the first move by asking her out somwhere casual (which is good, it eases on the pressure - dinner and a movie on the first date sometimes is too much i've noticed) and she's clearly not been avoiding you like some girls do after a guy they're not interested in asks them out. so i think you just need to play the game a little... you've cast the line in, but you know you'll never catch a fish by throwing tons of chum into the pond and splashing your rod around (haha that could be taken wrongly...) but yea. she knows you're interested obviously, so if she is too then she'll reciprocate since it's now her move. this is just my opinion though. best of luck my man.

you guys are right. an to be honest, no i don't want to be friends with him. but the problem is, my group of friends back home essentially centers around him, so if i just dump him off then i risk being ostracized from some of my other friends; like if everyone is going somewhere and he's going to be there, i either not go or go and have things be awkward. plus, if anyone gets on his bad side, he is viscious. he would talk smack about me to everyone, diliberately invite my girlfriend or my friends places just to exclude me, and i wouldn't be surprised if he even tried to get my girlfriend to dump me. i know she wouldn't do that, but it's the fact that he would even try to do that is disguysting. she's still friends with him, and doesn't like the fact that i don't like him anymore, because she says it puts her in an awkward spot. she used to say she was like a child and that me and my ex-friend were like divorced parents exchanging custody of her. honestly, that's what it's like sometimes. sometimes it's like he he literally competes for her time and friendship, its part of his goal of pushing me away from her because as her boyfriend, i've reached a point with her that to him, as a homosexual, is unattainable and i guess that makes him feel useless or unimportant. he can't stand the fact that she might want to go out with me instead of hanging out with him. like i said, he's the most selfish person i've ever met. and my girlfriend doesn't want to believe it.

thanks for your advice. i have told her i feel like dirt around this guy. one of the main problems with this guy is that i know firsthand how selfish and manipulative he is, and i hate to see her still trust him when he really is not trustworthy, nor does he paricularly care about other people's (including hers) feelings. i also worry that he will become a bad influence on her if she ends up at the same college as he does. i know she's a smart girl and doesn't give in pressure easily but we're talking about a guy who is very persuasive and could sell an icemaker to an eskimo if he really wanted. basically i worry that he'll try to get her to drink and all that kind of stuff, something she doesn't do now nor does she plan on doing. i dunno, the fact that he has totally ditched me for her while accusing me of doing the same thing, and the fact that she still adores him while everyone else who has known him longer knows what kind of person he is, really drives me nuts.

ok i'll cut right to the chase: (warning long post) i've had this friend since we were 6 years old. we went to grade school together and now we're both freshmen in college, so we're both 18. we don't go to the same college but our schools are very close to each other. throughout high school we were best of friends. he's a rather flamboyant homosesxual and he's the kind of person who's very charming and socially aggressive. everyone loves him from the minute they meet him. he's at a very prestigious university, whereas i'm at a not-so-well known school close by. thorughout high school i've watched him succeed at everything he did, and earn the accolades from all the teachers and from everyone and their parents. to me he's the epitome of academic excellence as well as a beloved social king. it never really bothered me, i just accepted it. for the last year of high school, however, this has really started to get to me. early in my senior year of high school, we met a girl around the same time, and this girl would eventually become my girlfriend (and we're still going strong!) of course upon meeting her, i instantly liked her and so did my friend, who saw another person to impress and mystify with his greatness. when the three of us would hang out, over time i began to really feel inferior to him for the first time, and i would dread going out with him because i know that i can't compete with him in social situaitons: everyone loves him and tries to impress him, and everyone addresses his name and tells him all of their cool stories, etc. i generally felt like an unimportant person, which i only really noticed when i would be trying to impress the girl we were hanging out with. it's important to note that this inferiority complex mostly arose because of the girl, but these days i still feel inferior to him whether or not my now-girlfriend is there or not. over the past few months, i've really started to dislike this guy. i have no problems saying that i even hate him for certain reasons. i hate doing it but here's my greivances with him: i started realizing how selfish he is. the girl form the above text and i have been together for about 6 months now, and only a few weeks after we started dating, my gay friend began trying to push me away, or at least it felt like it. he would tell her how he was upset because now that we were dating, she would not call HIM as much or hang out with him as much. he mentioned it me also, but only seemed to really care that SHE wasn't paying as much attention to him. it seemed like he was trying to keep me in "my place" or something. he's done this same kind of thing to all the other girls he was friends with who got boyfriends; try to push the boyfriend away, regardless of the fact that we're SUPPOSED to be best friends through and through. he lies constantly, even to people he considers "best friends". in one instance, he accused me of "betraying him" or hanging him out to dry or something because i accused him of lying to me about something sort of important. he said "how dare you not trust your best friend, i wouldn't lie to you" but then i heard from our other friends that he really was lying to me, they witnessed the true situation, and acknowledged that he did lie. this for me meant something because of the way it was presented: "how dare you accuse me of lying, you're my best friend" and then he proceeded to feed me the same lie to his "best friend". he's also broken off other friendships, with other people who we've all known for years and people he also considers his "best friends", and each other of their stories is different but the result is the same: they don't trust him anymore and they will say that he doesn't care about them either. so basically i wouldn't mind if i never had to associate with him again, he just doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself. the problem is, my girlfriend tells me that she feels bad because she's seen our friendship decline over this past year, and she is still friends with him. i've warned countless times that although he's very charming and seemingly trustworthy, you have to be aware of these problems. i've warned her that he shows all the signs of being very manipulative and superficial. these days, i can't stand hanging out with him when she's there, i get those feelings of inferiority to him and i remember how even baqck when were supposed to be best friends, he'd always talk to her and include her, but always seem to leave me out. it makes me feel like she'd rather hang out with him than with me. it's not a great feeling and the only thing i think about in these situations is when i get to take her home and away from him, or when he leaves, so i don't have to feel like a piece of dirt anymore. if i have to leave and the two of them are still hanging out, i feel like they haven't lost anything, like it didn't matter if i was ever there or not. what should i do? should i tell him off? or should i give him another chance? am i justified in thinking this way? a mutual friend has told me that he said to her once "yea he (me) and i used to be best friends, but i think he hates me now" (and he's more or less correct) but i don't know if i can just fully dump him off because i know it would make my girlfriend very upset. that's basically the situation. we have a very good relationship (she's still a senir in high school) and she's wanted to go to the same college my ex-friend is at, (she's wanted to go there before she ever met either of us) and if she ends up there next year then we'll be close by again. but it also means the he will still be here. ...any advice? sorry this was such a long post, and thanks in advance for any input.

also i forgot to mention: her top college choice is actually in the same city as the college i'm going to, and the two campuses are walking distance apart. she's been wanting to go to this college since before she met me, so her choice isn't because of me. but of course, she has to get in first...

i wasn't sure if i should put this in relationships or long distance relationships but here we go: my girlfriend and i have had a great relationship - actually tomorrow is our 3 month anniversary - and everything is going well. i'm 18 and she's 17, i just graduated high school and she's going to be a senior next year. this means i'm going away to college in september and she'll be staying here. i'm moving out of state. it's a 50 minute flight or about an 8 hour drive away from home and i'll be at school full-time. the problem is, i'm not at all ready to leave her behind. we have a great relationship and we've both sort of found what we're looking for in each other. i can't think of any reasons why ending the relationship is a good idea, i just care about her too much and i don't want to stop being with her. of course, since i'm going away to college, it will be very difficult to continue a relationship. i don't doubt her loyalty, it's not that. it's just that everything i hear about long distance relationships is negative and that they never ever work. in truth it does sound like a hopelessly romantic idea, trying to keep together a "high school relationship" going from accross state lines. but on the other hand, the idea of ending a relationship because of distance is like giving up and i'm not ready to to just give up what we have because of that. also, i think we're both afraid to talk about this subject together. our friends tell us individually to just enjoy the time we have and then deal with the problem when we get to it. but since i have only about a month left before i leave, i've been thinking a lot about the issue and i'm sure my girlfriend has too. i'm sure some of you guys have had this problem... do you have any advice? your own stories or just advice on how to move on after a break up because of distance, i'd like to hear anything i can. thanks.

i have the same problem my man. i'm 18 and i'm the youngest in my immediate family - i'm also the tallest and lightest. i'm 6' 2" and i weigh 130 lbs. hahaha. i say continute to eat well and work out. muscle is better than fat besides for the obvious physical advantages; muscle also is denser than fat. so if you're looking to raise your numerical weight from 120 to 140, muscle tissue will get you there faster, plus look a lot nicer than a gut. if you just want to fill out a little bit, just eat sugars. bit as mentioned by someone else, that's bad for you in the long run.

i say you tell her and fess up to your actions. i believe this is the only way to show that you truly regret it and that you care about her feelings. keeping it a secret from her is about the dumbest thing you can do, because she will eventually find out and the pain will be much worse for her when she does. i hate to sound cold, but i think you should be a man about it and be honest with her. if she cannot forgive you for it even after you come clean about it, you either don't deserve her or you two are not right for each other. if she does forgive you, expect a few weeks or months of rebuilding trust. if you can survive that, you'll be a stronger couple in the future. that's my blunt and cold answer. good luck

whoa. update on my life of late. so as some of you guys may know, i've known this girl for about 6 months now. when i first met her, i asked her out and we went out on one date. after that, we continued being being friends and nothing happened in regards to a relationship. for the past 3 or 4 months, though, the tension between us has been building and building. a few of our mutual friends have mentioned the extreme sexual tension, and i've told a few of her friends that i still liked her romantically. for this whole time, it should be noted, i am thinking that she only wants to be my friend, so i should try to get over her and be her friend only, though we are taking each other to our schools' proms, which was a friends kinda thing, you know? anyway, we hang out all the time, for hours every weekend, because we don't go to the same school. she's never had a real boyfriend, just a guy she saw for three weeks at a summer camp in another state, so she never heard from or saw the guy after that. she's very timid and shy about relationships. she's 17 and i'm 18. well today, i was driving her home from dinner with our friends, we were alone in the car because we had to leave early because her parents wanted her home. on the ride home, she out of the blue asked me "do you still like me?" taken totally off guard, i just said "how do you mean?" and she said "like would you date me?" and i said "yes, i would" because it's the truth. she then said "cool, let's do that". we got to her house, and ate a second dinner with her parents, then afterward we were alone in the living room. i asked her what's going to happen at this point, because i wasn't sure what she meant by us "dating" since there are multiple definitions in theory. after a lot of "i don't know"s, she said she wanted to ask me out again because she had been thinking about it for a long time. i asked her if she meant what she said and didn't just say it because her friends told her she should date me, and she said she meant it - "i don't lie". she said she's unsure if she wants to carry this out - as in starting a relationship with me - because she's "afraid of making a mistake or messing things up between us" i told her that i wouldn't let this hurt our current relationship, i don't believe it will. i told her i wanted her to think about it and figure out how she feels about it, and so she will feel comfortable. "i don't want there to be any pressure on you" i said to her. she said she's confused and nervous, and she'll "sleep on it", then i left, and here i am now. now she knows that i'm interested in a relationship, and she knows that i really care about her. i guess i don't really have a question, i just wanted to express what's going on and maybe get some responses from people who can relate?

well i think i'm part of why she's upset. at our school, she's considered one of the outcasts, partly because of me. when we were together, all of my friends were her friends too. when she dumped me, and my friends found out everything she did to me, they pushed her away and won't even talk to her anymore. sometimes she tried to get into conversations, and people who were once her friends are doing just what i did, and ignoring her entirely, as if she's not even there. again i feel like i'm really hurting her, even if i have nothing to apologize for, it still makes me feel awful. she doesn't have many friends at our school, and the only friends she has in school are a few freshmen, and she's a junior. she has friends outside of school, so i always figured she was fine with this. i feel like she just wants to be wanted and appreciated enough to talk to people, instead of being considered sub-human like i've made her out to be, and i now know that this is mean and unfair to do to anyone. i think i'm going to talk to her and ask her if she's ok, because i heard she was having some trouble. i'll tell her that i'm acting like i am because i wanted her to know what it's like to have your feelings ignored, and your kindness taken for granted. i won't apologize but i'll tell her that if she needs help with anything, i'll be here. i'm a senior, so i'm leaving for college in a few months, and i'd prefer if i could leave a peace between us before i go, because i may very well never see her again after this year.

ok here's some background: my first and last girlfriend, a girl a year younger than me (i was 17 and she was 16, now i'm 18 and she's 17) broke up 7 months ago. or rather, she dumped me, which worked out for her because she was cheating on me with an ex the whole 6 months we were together, and those two got together again a week after she dumped me. and she lied to be about a lot of things, major and minor, all of which i found out about AFTER the relationship, either from her or other people. we were on good terms for a while. but for the last 5 months, i've been totally ignoring her whenever i saw her. i''d walk right past her at school and not even look at her, and act like she didn't exist. even when she said something to me, i just kept walking. for me, this was my way of getting back at her for being so careless towards my feelings during our relationship. for me, it was my way of hurting her, and i enjoyed it, to be honest. it gave me a power over her, and i felt better than her, since during our relationship she had the power and was in the drivers' seat because she was experienced with boys, whereas she my first gf, kiss, everything. well fast-forward to last week. i noticed she had missed the whole week of school. i heard one of her teachers talking to some students about how my ex was sick, and while "she would be ok, she'll be out for a while". this made me a little nervous, despite how much i loathed her for the past few months. i wanted to call her parents and check in with them, but i never did. then yesterday, she was in school again. i saw her walking in the hallway while i was heading towards where she was coming from. there was nobody else in the hallway, so it was obvious that i was intentionally ignoring her when she said "hey, how ya doing" to me, and i just kept walking. they way she said it was soft, breathy and generally forced and unhappy (not angry or anything, but sad) i didn't think much of it. then today, one of my teachers (who knows me and my ex and taught us both last year when we were together) if me and my ex were still friends. i said "haha, no way" like usual. then she said, "because i heard she was having some trouble, like emotional trouble." now THIS made me really worried. this might have something to do with her being gone last week, and i can't but imagine think that she might have done something to hurt herself and her parents kept her home because of it. this is purely speculation, but i am really worried. because of what my teacher said today, i feel very VERY bad about how i've been treating her. i am angry at myself for actually wanting to hurt her, i've been a total jerk, and i think i played a part in the way she feels emotionally. i understand now why she spoke to me so timidly and sadly yesterday. i'm not sure how much of her trouble is from me, or if i'm a part of it at all, but i can't help but feel i'm to blame and i feel just awful for it. i really need some help here.

that's a tough situation. when i was dumped by my ex gf, she gave me some reasons like "i never fell in love", "you deserve better than me", etc. all that was bulls***, i'm sorry but it was. she REALLY wanted to dump me because her ex bf could please her better than i could. so for me, having found out these darker motives on later after i was dumped, made getting dumped really horrible and painful on my part, while she saved herself misery by lying to me. it doesn't sound like you have any reasons like these for ending your relationship though, haha. but the same basic thing holds true: my personal advice is to tell him the truth, do not give him any false reasons or hopes. be frank with him, but also make sure he knows that you do care about him a lot, and that the break-up doesn't mean you hate him or anything crazy like that. just don't flatter him with complimetns or make him out to be the hero and that you're the only problem. it's easier to give sugar-coated reasons which will make it easier for him in the short term, but more painful in the long term. instead, be honest with him; it might be hard for him in the beginning, but in the long term he'll be able to get over you much easier, and without feelings of resentment, so you can be friends. i wish my ex had been honest with me when she dumped me, because i found out her demons later from her friends, and i honestly despise her for it now.

if your mom believes you, you shouldn't worry about it too much, because she can convince everyone else in your family that you're telling the truth, starting with your dad, then your other adult family members. you'll probably still get crap from your siblings though. just stay clear of anything other than friendship, maybe even talk to the guy so he knows what's going on. as long as you do nothing wrong, it should pass.