anonymous1990

Thanks for the advice. I think i may need to make it clear to her that im around now and will not be later and that she can't just keep me as someone to fall back on. Any other opinions are welcome.

Were in highschool, this girl came back after living half way around the world for many years and i met her at school. She had a longterm boyfriend there and they couldnt bring themselves to end it even though they can never be together because he isnt from here. He can somehow come here over the summer though and see her. But then he's not coming back. But he promised to come here after finishing highschool, also highly unlikely. I was friends with this girl. And it turned into more and we were...dating...but she felt guilty sometimes. We got really close and she almost broke it off with him. Then one day she emailed me and told me we had to just be friends and she didnt kno why she just couldnt break up with him. She's told me she doesnt know what she'll do after the summer and that she knows he'll never live here. And it hurts me because im around her everyday, and i have a feeling this guy wont be able to come here over the summer and we both know things arent going to work out for them but she puts him first still. She says she still has feelings for me. We've spent time together since we "broke up" and been really close but not in the same way which really hurts me cuz i had to hold back, im not the type of guy that will just force her, though i know she'd give in. She was caressing me and we almost kissed, but I couldnt do it. We spent a whole night together staying up through it all on new years and we talked and hugged and held eachother and it was great to be with her but i hurts because im always second to someone i havent even met. She's just setting us both up to be hurt because im not going to wait for her to have her fun with him over the summer then come back to me. Schools starting again and i see her everyday again. Im in love with her and it really hurts that she's doing this to me. I originally told her i needed space to get over her and didnt want to see her outside school but she said that would really hurt her so i couldnt do it. I suppose if i wait long enough she will end it with him and because ill be around her and she knows i can be there for her. It just hurts and i need advice on how to cope and what to do because being around her is difficult (because were "just friends") and being away from her hurts.

ok slow down. you had a bad break up. theres not much you can do about it. i know its easier said than done, but you need to forget about him. theres so much more to life than boyfriends/girlfriends and dating. Its hard to see with hormones raging inside of you (believe me im going through the same thing) but it gets better. It gets so much better and though you may be confused and down about life try to get back up every time. You'll be glad you did. I promise, you'll look back on this whole situation one day and laugh.

haha dude, let me tell you, i felt the exact same way, and im only a year older than you. I just got into my first serious relationship and its not everything you imagine its going to be believe me. Especially since its her first relationship ever too, its a hell of a bumpy ride and sometimes im not convinced it's worth it. Every day is just up, down, up down and i realize how little I appreciated the wonderfull life and circle of friends i built for myself before the concern of a girlfriend. Because thats what it is sometimes -a concern. Because you can't take the relationship farther than that, it has to last. I'm only still in the relationship because I don't give up on what i start and don't want to hurt her feelings (plus ive received various threats about if i do) and thereforeeee am going to try to keep it steady until were older. But dude, no rush. No freaking rush. Just think about how you would go about pleasing and keeping your girlfriend. And worrying about losing her? Worrying about if you're getting used? The list goes on bro, just imagine it from a different point of view. Whatever you decide to do, good luck to ya, cheers

all i can say is, just try to approach them and talk to them. You don't really have much to lose. Good luck dude, and I feel for you being in an all guys school.

My Highschool recently had its semi formal (im in grade 10) and my date was a girl in grade 9. I had asked her to start dating me and she said she just had to get used to the idea and at the semi formal agreed to go out with me. When we were alone or dancing together she seems very interested, smiles, laughs a lot and we have a good time. She said she was nervous because this was her first ever serious relationship and i told her not to worry about it and that i wasnt going to judge her. Even before we became boyfriend and girlfriend whenever i would talk to her in the hall, usually by her and her friends lockers she would purposely keep conversations short and retreat over to her friends. Whenver one of them approaches she pretends like im not there and it drives me nuts. Most of the school had to watch a presentation in the gym today and i caught her friends repeatedly looking over to me and talking to her. She was smiling and I was getting pissed because she had been rude to me on the way to the gym in the hallway. I had started talking to her and we were walking to the gym together until we started walking with her friends. She immediately started walking faster and drifted away. I felt humiliated and decided to just go walk with my friends and hang out with them. Other than this issue our relationship is great but its really annoying. So i guess im looking for advice on this situation and basically just how i should handle things with her at school? I want to give her her space but i don't want to ignore her at school and only spend time with her on dates. Help?

Just be interested in him to. Try to make it obvious enough for him to pick it up and it will happen.

Just go for it, ask him. Theres really nothing holding you back but yourself. Being a shy person, think of it this way: if you spend your life shying and cowering away you will come to regret not doing anything. You owe it to yourself to do something that would enhance and enrich your life. Once you ask him out, try not to talk a lot online. If you can't think of anything to talk about in person on the spot or feel awkward ask a question. About something he's doing or wearing or what he thinks of something. Asking a question is one of the most common catalysts for interesting conversations that feel natural and not awkward. Good Luck!

Do it. i would love it if a girl approached me first. Even if i wasnt attracted to her at first, it would make her stand out, and id wanna get to know her better. And if its someone i was already interested in, even better. by the way what grade r u in?

Since the beggining of this year ive liked a girl..lets call her Katie. Katie and i teased eacthother all the time, we played games, flirted constantly, had a blast the whole year, i was just figuring out a way to ask her out when i find out that my friend did. Shes a very accepting girl with a strong self esteem, and my friend is short and doesnt have much experience but they still have a cute...barely there sort of relationship, a hug in the hallway once in a while or hold hands and go to the movies. Theyve never even kissed, or made any moves and its been a month. Ive liked her for the whole year and im absoloutely certain she likes me. I catch her staring at me all the time, she laughs at anything i do, she always touches me when we talk, hits me softly on the chest with the palm of her hand, licks her lips after i look at her, twirls her hair etc. All the signs, its obvious. She just lights up whenever we talk. She still flirts with me and acts almost the same, when her boyfriends looking the other way, and he wouldnt know she liked me if she tried to convince him she did! My friend is a little inexperienced with girls and is in that sort of...yay i have a girlfriend but i dont know what to do with her, but its good to have stage. Katie is crazy about me and im crazy about her, but i dont know what to do about my friend...i figure theyll drift apart over the summer but i dont want her to be in that "i dont know if i have a boyfriend" situation. He never takes it anywhere with his girlfriends cause hes shy and only had 2 others, one lasted a week. I know he wouldnt care if i went out with her but hell keep her months and its driving me nuts and it might even go for years. I refuse to try and break them up cuz thats just mean and stupid but things are really heating up between me and katie and if she just jumps on me and makes a move, i cant do that to my friend even though im crazy for her. I just dont know what to do, and if i go out with her when they break up, which i will i know it wont be weird with my friend cuz they never did anything and never will but its just so frustrating that when i work up the courage to finally get with her, i find out he did. I just need advice on what i should do because i dont want to give her the wrong message when she flirts with me but i dont want to piss my friend off (dont get me wrong he cant do anything to me im one of the best fighters in our grade and even his older brother wouldnt have the guts to hit me) because i dont like to hate people or have them hate me. Sorry for the rambling long post...advice please?

Ok bro, some things u need to find out b4 u make your move. Does she give other guys nicknames like hamster? Is she a flirty type of girl, and flirts with other guys, or does all her attention go to you. Is she normally shy? Does she ever touch you in any kind of way? ex: Punches you in the shoulder or pokes you when your flirting. Or finding any excuse to make contact with you. Does she try to hang around with you a lot? Watch her for a day or two and see if she has any other guys she shows attraction towards. If she does this type of stuff with most guys she might just be playing with you and not want to go out. If she does it with just you or a select group of people ur a part of (i.e. the guys she likes) then ask her out. From what you posted i think she probably likes you. Follow up with more info and answer sum of these questions, ill gladly follow up!

When i am stressed out or depressed, and feel really down, like theres no point to life, or that im an outcast, and everything is screwed up i find that i need something to work towards. Something to live for. Try setting some goals, and working towards them. Be in control of your life, instead of trying to help other people a lot, be somewhat selfish for a little while. Do what you feel like, go out and have fun...Make friends, enjoy their company. You may think people are cold and distant but if you approach them and take the time to get to know them most are nice people. Live life and concentrate on good times with your friends as you work towards goals you set. Both short term and long term. For example, something you want to do by the end of the week, and something you want to do to make the world better before you die. Next time your staring at the wall think: Theres a reason im here. I wouldnt be here if there wasnt. Your life is meaningful. Even if it doesnt seem like it at the moment

If youve read any of my most recent posts, you will likely find what im about to say, however recent events have shed more light on the situation. Im a freshman in high school. I asked a girl out to the first dance who i was almost certain liked me. Things had been going great. Anyway, she has 2 friends. 1 lives on my street the other, (lets call her number 2) is number 1's best friend. I had visited their school last year (our school i from k-end of highschool) for a day. Number 2 used to go to number ones house alot after i visited and convince her to come visit me. They always showed up at my door. On the day i had visited their school, number 2, the moment she saw me ran up and introduced herself, and started asking me about my age, if i had a girlfriend, and where i lived. She even came to my house to announce that she had broken up with her boyfriend. I ignored her mostly as i was attracted to girl number 1. After the first few weeks of school, i became friends with girl 1 and didnt feel attracted to her in that way. I met the girl i asked to the dance 3rd week of school. She was in my squad in phys ed. We'd have lots of laughs, flirt all the time, tease eachother, and slowly became closer. I asked her to the dance, 2nd month of school. I was about to ask her in person when we were doing math at lunch but the teacher sat right beside her and it would have been really weird. So i slipped her a note in her lunch box and told her to look in it after she was done, and left the room. I came into her class right before the next period started to give back the pen i borrowed. As i walked in, she was talking to girls 1 and 2, i think it was about me, because she was beaming and their attention turned immediately to me and they stopped talking. I gave back her pen, and they giggled as the one i asked to the dance blushed. I left the room. The only one who didnt seem very happy, however, was girl number 2. Reflecting on what happened next as well as recent events have made me realise she was jealous. I asked the girl for her answer after their class was over. She was about to say yes, but then said...well... i dunno....and said that some guy from camp she liked just emailed her and she thinks he's gunna ask her out. She looked really sad, and apologised, i said it was ok, not to worry about it and walked away (by the way thats a really hard thing to do, anyone else wanna talk about doin that?) We didnt talk till the end of the day. I was sitting on the steps out front and she walked past and said ''see ya'' i didnt expect her to say anything and didnt think fast enough to reply. We acted like it never happened after about a day of awkwardness, and suprisingly she kept flirting with me, and we were almost the way we used to be. She ended up dancing with me at the dance, and it turned out that the 'guy from camp was just a friend' "what a shame" I began to consider asking her out again. However, girl number 2 who used to be friendly with me began to insult me, and treat me horribly. I had no clue what i had done wrong. Im pretty sure she forced it into the girl i like's head that i was being mean to her when we teased eachother about stuff, instead of joking. And that i was a horrible jerk. And i was gunna be mean to her cuz she said no to me, and thats why i didnt say goodbye to her later the day she said no to me. We didnt talk to eachother after some prick had really upset her (she was on edge already about somethin, didnt kno what) and i asked her why she was so tense and girl number 2 gave her a look and she said ''just go away, ur being mean to me just cuz i said no to you!" it hit me like a brick. I had never done anything to hurt her, i walked away to give her some space and didnt know what to do" We grew more distant. We would have short conversations every so often, but i caught her looking at me many times from a distance. I looked back a couple of times....she seemed so sad....i always felt sad too that things got so screwed up. I think she wished she had never said what she said. I wish i could have done things differently somehow....We started to talk a bit more but this past little while things have been strange. She acts like it never happened. And girl number 2 said that she hates me, i asked her what i did. She said that she didnt have to like me, and she didnt. She said it again once after school i asked her what the hell i did. She told me i never did anything to her, i was mean to the girl i liked. I asked her what i did to the girl i liked. She told me that i kept bugging her and should leave her alone. Then it hit me. Girl number 2 was jealous. She was crazy over me, and even on msn the day i asked the one i like to the dance, she asked me if i liked her, repeatedly. And got girl number 1 to find out as well. After school on friday, i was leaning on a railing, near where the one i like was sitting on some steps. We didnt talk, my ride pulled up, and as i got in i caught her staring at me, the same way she used to. That sad look of regret....I dont know what to do anymore.....i still have feelings for her....she isnt the hottest girl there, and there are plenty of hotter girls i have good chances with ....but shes fairly pretty....but shes the only one who i dont care how she looks, i just cant get over her. Shes the only one i really care about. And being so close to her...but so distant, and those looks she gives me. It drives me insane. I dont know what to do. Theres gotta be a way i can set things right. We never really talk uprfront about what happened... as were both fairly shy. But i dont know what to do, please help me....i really need some advice, i care for her a lot. Sorry for the long post

Theres this girl who i asked to a dance a couple weeks ago who i was almost sure liked me (read my past posts) but she said she didnt kno cuz a guy she likes from camp had emailed her the day before. I didnt ask her again. I slow danced with her at the dance and asked her if the guy from camp had asked her out. She said no he hadnt, and they were just good friends, he wasnt going to. Anyway, for the next couple weeks i didnt get the chance to talk to her much, and never approached me much cuz we only have phys ed together. We play soccer on a team and i flirt with her a bit and tease her cuz whenever she screws up and loses the ball i always save it. But we dont talk seriously, or casually much anymore, its been rare, mostly teasing type flirting...its strange. Ive caught her looking at me in the hall before school many times...but friday after school we were hangin out and she seemed upset. One guy had been tryin to make her admit she liked a certain person, (it wasnt me) and she kept denying it and got upset...she seemed angry before that too. Anyway she left for a while, came back and i asked her whats wrong and said she seemed tense and she said ''go away, what do you care, youve been mean to me ever since i said no to you'' i was stunned and didnt know what the hell she meant...i walked away...didnt know what the hell to do. I guess maybe something hurt her feelings and i should apologise but she might not accept that, plus shes always with friends and its hard to talk to her alone....i dont know what to do, its really bothering me...and i dont know, if its the teasing, that she thought i was makin fun of her...but im not sure how to explain that i never meant to hurt her....pleae give me some advice, your opinion i think im gunna apologise tomorrow morning before school. how should i go about it, what should i say? i havent talked to her since friday

Theres this girl who i asked to a dance a couple weeks ago who i was almost sure liked me (read my past posts) but she said she didnt kno cuz a guy she likes from camp had emailed her the day before. I didnt ask her again. I slow danced with her at the dance and asked her if the guy from camp had asked her out. She said no he hadnt, and they were just good friends, he wasnt going to. Anyway, for the next couple weeks i didnt get the chance to talk to her much, and never approached me much cuz we only have phys ed together. We play soccer on a team and i flirt with her a bit and tease her cuz whenever she screws up and loses the ball i always save it. But we dont talk seriously, or casually much anymore, its been rare, mostly teasing type flirting...its strange. Ive caught her looking at me in the hall before school many times...but friday after school we were hangin out and she seemed upset. One guy had been tryin to make her admit she liked a certain person, (it wasnt me) and she kept denying it and got upset...she seemed angry before that too. Anyway she left for a while, came back and i asked her whats wrong and said she seemed tense and she said ''go away, what do you care, youve been mean to me ever since i said no to you'' i was stunned and didnt know what the hell she meant...i walked away...didnt know what the hell to do. I guess maybe something hurt her feelings and i should apologise but she might not accept that, plus shes always with friends and its hard to talk to her alone....i dont know what to do, its really bothering me...and i dont know, if its the teasing, that she thought i was makin fun of her...but im not sure how to explain that i never meant to hurt her....pleae give me some advice, your opinion