mikeyc

Twizod. Sorry it's your last post on this suject mate, I'd just like to thank you for the highly informative and well researched posts and apologise for the 2 people that seem intent on shooting you down. It seems to me that Michael2 is more intent on making people infected with HPV feel worse rather than posting useful advice. Thankyou.

I'm 26, not 17. ;0)

No, she hasn't got it. In fact I've passed it on to nobody as I've not had sex since I became infected. It's a relief to hear you say that it's not permanent but i don't think that's true as every source I have found on the internet says the virus can become inactive but still remains in your system and can be activated again. When the virus is inactive, the warts disappear but the infection can still be transmitted. Anyway, I'm going to visit a doctor as soon as I can to get these removed. Not sure how I'm going to tell my girl but be assured I will not be having sex until she has been given the choice.

No, not seen doc yet. I've looked at hundreds of websites relating to HPV and I'm pretty sure that's what i have. I guess the best thing to do is go to docs but even so, there is no cure. All the doc can do is remove the warts but I can still pass on the virus so what's the point?!?!

I believe I have the HPV virus. Usually I'm very careful and practice safe sex but I think a girl I was dating 6 months ago was infected and she passed it on to me, probably when a condom broke but I have also heard the virus can be transmitted regardless of the use of contraception. I couldn't have caught the virus off anyone else because there hasn't been anyone else since her. Not sure how I feel about the girl, we broke up a while ago but remained friends... I haven't spoken to her since I noticed a few small warts on my penis and realised what i had. If she had no idea she was infected with the virus then it's not her fault is it? I still can't help thinking I will be infected for the rest of my life because of her. I have, however met someone else I really like, but I can't stop thinking about what happens when she wants to have sex? I don't even want her to touch me in case she gets infected so there's no way I could have sex with her. I've thought about what I could say but what if the risks scare her away. We've only been dating a few weeks. Is it going to be like this for the rest of my life!??! What do I do?

That's what I've been trying to tell myself, good advice though. Thanks love. Guess I'll keep trying to chat to her even though it's like wading through treacle.

He lives in the flat next door to me and works at the same place, so yes - it's right in my face! Makes me so mad sometimes. i don't want to block her, we used to get on so well. I think one of the reasons she chats to him is that I have a lot of work to do and I'm out the office from time to time, whereas he does nothing but chat on the internet all day.

You'd have thought he would stop wouldn't you, but he won't. My brother and I get on quite well most of the time but when it boils down to it he's selfish and when it comes to women, he doesn't care who's feet he treads on. I have a rule that I will never see any of his exes... he's slept with one of mine already. I've already asked him not to message her but he still does and now she seems to have stopped chatting to me all together and moved onto him.

ok, compared to most of the problems on this forum, mine will seem stupid but in the past telling people on this site about my problems has helped. Well, I met this girl on the internet a about 6 months ago, we got on really well chatting mostly at work, I met up with her several times and we had a great laugh. Our friendship blossomed into a 2 week relationship not long ago and she broke it off saying it felt wrong and she just wanted to be friends, since then she has seemed different. However, from time to time she also chats to my brother and now it seems she would rather chat to him than me - I never even get a look in. I don't know why this bothers me so much, maybe it's because I've told my brother not to chat to her but he still does it, or maybe it's because I feel less attractive and less funny than my brother, so she's decided to go for the better one of us. Either way if you lot have the time I'd like to hear any comments you have, even if it's just to say, "shutup you mardy twat and get on with your life!"

Hi all, Firstly - a brief summary of my situation. I'm a 26 year old fella from England. I've posted several topics on this site over the past 9 months and I think the key phrase to summarise my feelings over that time would be, "there have been highs and there have been lows!" As you've probably guessed I was dumped by my girlfriend of 2 and a half years, 9 months ago for reasons involving my fear of commitment. When she asked me to marry her, I basically said, "not yet". When she fell pregnant, I said that I wasn't ready for a child and she decided to terminate. However, I did love her dearly and will never forget the times we had together. My ex started dating a new guy 2 weeks after our breakup and became engaged to him only 4 months after. They are to marry in July. (it still burns when I think about that) I think I'm nearing the end of my road to recovery but as this is the first time I've ever experienced this I'm not sure when you know you are fully recovered. The first month was probably the worst month of my life - I lost half a stone in weight (and I'm slim anyway), I looked constantly tired, pale and ill. Looking back at photos from that time is quite disturbing. However, as months followed I began to realise it was time to get on with my life. I should add, however that over these 9 months, the worst times were when I had contact with my ex. These moments spurred thoughts and emotions that should have been avoided. It is true what they say, if you still have feelings for your ex and you are trying to get over him/her - DO NOT MAKE CONTACT... Complete seperation is the answer. Sometimes it is very difficult to separate completely. I share the same friends with my ex, even my own brother stays in contact with her and chats to her most days on the internet and sometimes they call each other - it is difficult. My ex has tried to stay in contact with me but I ignore her now. It's best for me... and that's what you should all think in this situation, "what is best for me?" Straight after my breakup all I could think about were the mistakes I had made and the heartbreak I was feeling, nothing else mattered. As time rolled on, those feelings became less intense, they are still there sometimes, but they are dull and serve only as a lesson in life, a building block in my personality - rather than let the experience break you, use it to build yourself into a stronger person. This may sounds strange but I believe that if you go through your entire life without experiencing the loss of a long term partner through a breakup then you have somehow missed out on a valuable part of life. I'm not sure about the point of this post - I think I just want to try and help those people just starting on their journey understand that the pain doesn't last forever and there are people out there experiencing the same hurt. If you didn't feel all this hurt, you wouldn't be human! Most importantly, don't let this experience break you, learn from it and use it to build yourself into a better, stronger person!

Hi all, it's been 7 and a half months since I broke up with my ex. Over the last month I've been very positive - finally moving on. I'd accepted the breakup, had closure, kept my distance from my ex and I was feeling great! Until yesterday... I found out she's engaged! To the guy she started to date only 10 days after breaking up with me. Our relationship was 2 and a half years and she dates him for 7 months! I can't believe she can love someone as much as she loved me so soon after our breakup, it's like our relationship meant nothing! I had to find out for sure so I messaged her yesterday afternoon and the conversation went something like this... Me: hello Me: you there? Verity: hello you Verity: how you doing? Verity: you ok? Me: i'm ok Me: u? Verity: sorry was in kitchen making the bosses drinks Verity: I'm good thanks just getting over a nasty cold Me: so when did you get engaged? Verity: he asked me b4 he went Me: never told me that Verity: no didn't tell many people as wre weren't sure b4 he went away Verity: wanted to keep it quiet Me: well, good luck with that. bye. Verity: why are you bothered anyway? I didn't reply to the last message. It seems as though he asked her to marry him over 2 months ago, that's after only 5 months. Guess I've just got to accept this and move on - I think I was holding on to the belief that her new relationship would not last because it was so soon after our breakup, that maybe she would split up with him and come running to me again... Guess I was mistaken. Thanks for listening.

I decided to go a different route. Over the past few weeks (since the post about my brother and ex) I got fed up of causing trouble by not wanting to be friends with my ex so I decided to meet her for a drink and give the friendship a go. Things worked out ok. However, during the times that I have seen her, she has said a few things. She once mentioned that she will never be fully over me and she keeps saying how great I look. Obviously I am thinking to myself that she might want to get back together but she still has this boyfriend (I hate saying that) in America who is returning next month. I can't help but think that she is messing with my head. She phones me often to ask what I am doing and invites me out but I don't feel fully comfortable... As soon as her bloke gets back there is no way I will hang around with her - this feels so false and temporary. Maybe I should tell her to stay away again - but then I'll have to go through the trouble of avoiding her when she is out with our friends, then there are the feelings I get when my brother sees her and I'm not there - I can't explain them but I know I don't like them. On top of that, my ex's best friend likes my brother so they will probably start going out and seeing each other more and more, making it even more difficult to stop thinking about her. Any advice would be verty gratefully received. Thankyou all in advance.

Why don't you try: Led Zep - 10 Years Gone The Goo Goo Dolls - Iris Sarah Mclachlan - Angel Macy Gray - I Try (this was the song that another one of my ex girlfriends used to listen to when I split up with her. Makes me feel very guilty now I now how it feels) Pearl Jam - Release

I've been trying to heal, slowly for the past 6 months. As Kantor mentioned, the healing process is . One day I might be fine but the next I'm reminded of my ex by a song, a person, a place, it could be anything. This site helps a lot as there is nothing more comforting than knowing someone else out there is going through the same thing as you are. Kantor, I'm not sure how long it has been since you broke up but it doesn't sound like very long. I'm not sure that you should heed the advice given by foreverurz23. I would say don't pick up the phone. Complete seperation from your ex is the best way. I know it hurts, it hurts like hell! It's correct to say that if you really love someone, those feelings never really go away, they are just pushed aside. Imagine what would be worse, you never seeing your ex again or you pick up the phone, start talking to her and find out she is with someone else and that she is madly in love... This happened to me - I don't wish anyone else to know what it's like. Here's something I'd like you guys to comment on. I ran into my ex while on a night out and she contacted me the next day. We have arranged to meet up for a chat to see if our friendship can work. In case you haven't noticed I'm going against everything that I just said in this post, this is because my brother and many of my friends are also friends with her and the past 6 months have been awkward because I have wanted complete seperation. It always feels like I am wrong to want to steer clear of my ex and wrong to get upset when my friends see her and I'm fed up of it! The meeting is tomorrow night. I have no idea how I will react.

Those of you who have read my previous posts will know I split up with my ex 6 months ago. I have been ok for the past 4 months but the first 2 after the breakup were the 2 worst months of my life. 2 weeks after breaking up with me (after her abortion her feelings for me vanished - I completely understand this now) she found someone else. I have heard people tell me they are very happy together but he has gone abroad for a few months to work. I rarely hear from my ex, which is good - I wanted complete seperation from her as thinking about her is very upsetting. However, last week I ran into her in a bar and we talked. I was very cool about the situation but she was not, she was shaking and when we parted she broke down in tears. Later she told me that this was because I brought back memories of the abortion and our breakup. A few days ago she started to chat to me using MSN at work, she talked about things we used to do and how she misses me. I sent her a mail telling her to leave me alone as I am not ready for friendship and may never be ready. During these conversations on MSN I find out that she has met up with my brother for drinks only a few weeks ago. I live with my brother and was never told about this. When I asked him if he had seen my ex, he denied it!! My own brother lied to me! I've told him that I want complete seperation from my ex and when he goes out for drinks with her it makes that very difficult! Am I right to become angry? They were never friends before she met me, why can't he just forget about her? He has plenty of other friends!! I'm not sure if I am being unreasonable - my brother certainly thinks I am! What should I do? Should I let him go out for drinks and be friends with her and just put up with the feelings this causes or should I put my foot down and demand that he acts like a brother to me? Or maybe I should just try and be friends with my ex and try to ignore the painful feelings that she causes? Any advice would be so greatfully received! Thankyou in advance.

It's been almost 6 months since my break-up and my first post in this forum and 4 months since I last contacted my ex. At first I made the mistake of trying to contact her and beg for her back, she saw a weak side of me she had never seen before - I do regret that now and my advice to EVERY guy who goes through this kind of break-up - no matter how difficult it is, DO NOT CONTACT YOUR EX AND DO NOT BEG FOR HER BACK. She broke up the relationship so if it was meant to be and she really likes you she will come back, but make her beg!!! I have now come to terms with the fact that I will never get back together with the girl that broke my heart. She tries to contact me still, sends me emails asking how I am and how the cat is. Sometimes she asks if she can come round and see the cat - that just makes me angry so I say "no!". She asked me if we could ever be friends and I honestly don't see it happening. When I receive a mail from her, or even when someone mentions her name I feel anger. The anger seems to stem from the fact that I know she has someone else and I've been told they are madly in love, just like we used to be. Maybe it's jealousy, but I feel that my life would be better if I NEVER see her again, so I'm sticking to my guns. Another piece of advice - I know it's been repeated hundreds of times in these forums but it does speed the healing process. Get out, meet new people, have fun and most importantlt - look after yourself. Now you are single again, you will probably have more money, so spend it! Treat yourself, take up a new hobby, join a gym and get fit (highly recommend that one, not only do you feel better but women love the new body ) I'd better get to the point so I'll end this post with a question, "I can safely say now that I can go through the rest of my life without seeing my ex and I will be happy. I am happy and healthy now but I still feel anger towards her. Am I still healing or is this it?"

I was feeling a little better. I met another girl a few weeks ago so I took a week off work to have a bit of fun. At first we had a laugh but this last few days I've suddenly found myself completely unnattracted to her so I broke it off last night. To make things worse, I ran into my ex and her new boyfriend yesterday. I didn't talk to them as I was in my car and they were walking by. I'm pretty sure she saw me but completely avoided eye contact, perhaps it was because this new girl was sitting in the car next to me. Seeing the two of them together has made me start thinking about old times again - I miss her. I still find it so hard to understand how she could move on so quickly from me, I keep telling myself that she was thinking about this new guy before she broke up with me and because of that, it would have never worked between us and continuing the relationship with a child would have ended up in tragedy. Maybe that's just my way of dealing with this.

It's nice knowing I'm not alone. I understand why my ex has found someone else and I can understand why she broke up with me, I too have done a lot of research and talked to a number of people about the effects of abortion. Still doesn't seem to numb the pain though. I still miss her a lot but I suppose it has only been 2 months since the breakup. My main problem at the moment is I don't know how I will react if I see her with her new boyfriend and it's becoming inevitable that I will. We have the same friends and we live in the same village. At the moment I check with friends to see if she will be out before I join them but how long can that go on for? Man this sucks!

Ok. I've come to a major junction in my breakup. As my previous posts have mentioned my ex and I have the same friends. She is seeing someone else and until recently they have not been going out with our mutual friends very often but I have. Now it seems that they are going out more often and our mutual friends have been trying to get me to come out as well. (Over the past 2 months, I've been phoning people to check if my ex will be out before going.) My friends (and my ex) say I have to face it sooner or later. My family have recommended complete seperation from her as I am still quite broken up about everything. I'm not sure which road to take. I have no idea how I will react if I see her again and up until now the thought that I may never have to see her again has been comforting. I could carry on this way and avoid her by only going out when she is not or I could just see her with him and try and cope. (I think it would hurt me too much) Please help me.

I asked her that question a while ago. She says she never saw him before breaking up with me but I know she always fancied him. She a slut! I'm better off without her but I can't get her out of my life. She lives in the same town as me and we have the same friends. All I want is to forget about her but someway or another I'm always thinking about her because she's always around. I just want to jack everything in and leave this country. I'm fed up with hearing about her and that ***wit! I hate myself for feeling like this, she doesn't deserve any more thought!!!

I feel your pain too... But I can't take it. All these posts that say "time will heal" make me want to throw my ***ing computer out the window. I remember what I was like before I met my ex. I was a strong, confident man. She lured me in with promises of, "I'd never dump you", "I love you, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me". BOLLOCKS! Look at me now! I'm not even a shadow of my former self and I hate her for doing this to me! It took her 7 days to start dating someone else. She moved out of my house and straight into his... SLUT! Not sure where I'm going with this. Don't think it will help you... I'm sorry. Things were getting better for me until I found out she's been living with this guy and I also found out his name... I didn't need to know his name! The last post on this forum mentioned that it may take years until the pain goes. I won't let it take that long. She doesn't deserve any more thought from me! I just want out! I want to leave this hell and go where nobody knows me and there's no way anyone can mention that bitches name! I've been thinking about what I would do if she came crawling back to me. Think I'd take her back and date her for a while, then treat her like crap, cheat on her and dump her like she did me! Oh, that would be heaven. It puts a smile on my face thinking about it. I apologise for this post. I have a lot of aggression at the moment and it's driving me crazy! I'm fed up with hearing her name and hearing what she is doing... You see, we do share the same friends and we live in the same town. I want complete closure but it's not possible. I JUST WANT HER OUT OF MY LIFE FOREVER!!!!!

It's been 6 weeks since we split up. She started seeing the new guy after 1 week. I hate her for moving on so fast and when I think about them together it's makes me very upset. I think about what he is doing with her and it tears me apart! I know who this guy is... On our first date, he was in the club we went to and he tried to pull her. They talked for ages but she ended up going with me. I asked her if she liked him and she said no. Over the 2 and a half years we were together we saw this guy from time to time as he worked in a shop near us, I used to swear that I saw them smiling at each other but she denied it... Now look what has happened. If I saw him I don't think I would get angry, it's not his fault - it's hers. I know we've broken up and I should get over it but I feel as though she has thrown away everything we had, the whole relationship seems meaningless and we went through so much together.

When I first broke up with my girlfriend I thought I would lose all of the friends that I met through her. As it happens, they are still my friends. I decided to try and separate from my ex completely as she is seeing someone else and I it would really mess me up if I saw them together. Things have been working out, I've been going out every weekend and having fun, but last night I was invited to a birthday party. It's probably going to be the biggest party of the year... Everyone is going, even my brother and his friends are going. Only problem is... She's going too. This means I stay at home while all of my friends are at this party. Talk about depressing. I'm not sure what to do. I hate all this crap! I have to find out where she is before I go anywhere... Maybe I should just grit my teeth and go to the party but I've no idea what effect it will have on me. I know if I saw her with him it would kill me. My brother says I should just go the party and get it over with, there will be loads of people there and I don't have to talk to her but I he doesn't know what I'm feeling.

You go man! I love new relationships! Can't wait til I find someone else. It's really nice learning about someone new First kiss... Not sure if I'm the best one to talk about that, most of my first kisses with girls have been under the influence of a few beers but I'll have a go anyways. I don't think there's any specific time you should go it, be spontaneous. Maybe when you are walking together somewhere and you make her laugh, just turn to her, lightly touch her cheek and move in. Word of advice - girls love it when you gently touch their face and neck while kissing. (any girls out there want to back me up?) I don't think you have to plan a perfect time and place for the first kiss, it doesn't matter where it is, it will always be special. Reading back over that post, I sound like a right soppy git. Good luck pal. (not that you need luck - just a sprinkle of confidence)

The decision I have made is to wait a while. I believe it is my heart telling me to travel again but this is for the wrong reason. If you have read my other posts you will see that I recently broke up with my girlfriend. I feel better than I did but perhapps any decision I make will be clouded by my negative emotions. I'm going to wait until my 26th birthday in August. If I still feel like this when I turn 26 then I'm phoning the Australian Embassy and filing for migration. It's hard making this kind of decision. What would you do? I could be a millionnaire by the age of 35 or I could throw it all away and have some fun while I'm still young. Money isn't everything, but it's a whole lot of money. Some people have told me that money can't buy happiness, well I'll be happy no matter what I do, but maybe travelling will make me more happy and maybe if I stick to this job I will always have that nagging thought in the back of my mind... "What if I'd have done this..."