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mikeyc

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  1. mikeyc
    Funny you should say that about music... Yes, if I listen to songs that I used to listen to with my ex then it does make me sad. However, certain music makes me feel better. I made a few CDs with songs carefully selected... No sad, slow songs but all upbeat songs that you can dance/sing to - songs that make you happy and not think about her. It's all very recent for you mate and it makes me sad knowing how you are feeling - you are experiencing some of the worst pain you will ever experience but believe me (and everyone else that has posted in this forum) it DOES GET BETTER! Just read a few more posts and take note of the advice that people have to give, it really helps. Your new job and a change of location will help a lot to take your mind of her. Just try not to spend too much time alone and keep yourself occupied... sports help a lot. Good luck pal.
  2. mikeyc
    Sounds like you both like each other, so that's the first step out of the way... If you both work/go to school together maybe you should eat lunch with him, I am 99% sure that he will be feeling just as shy as you are. Why not ask him to join you for lunch when you are leaving your next class you take together? You must have stuff in common, like subjects you study or music you like or even things you watched on TV last night... Just talk about these. You could try telling him how nervous you have been around him, that always helps to ease the tension. Hope everything works out between you two. Let us know.
  3. mikeyc
    Here's my situation. I'm 25 years old, have a degree and I work as IT Manager for the family business. I am in line to take over as director of the business in about 8 years. When I was 20, I took a year to travel around the Southern hemisphere, when I returned I worked in a few places until I had some experience so I could offer my expertise in the family business. I've been working here for just over a year, however, for the past few years I have felt that I want to travel again. The problem is, if I leave the business, I will not be allowed to come back. So, I could travel again and have some fun but lose the financial stability that comes with staying here. I would also disappoint my family if I travel again but I just don't feel ready to settle into a permanent job yet. I'm 25, time is running out. What do I do?
  4. mikeyc
    I got a mail from my ex. It wasn't nice... here's what she put... I'm sorry to of bothered you with the text messages Mike it's just I do blame you for all this shit, if it hadn't of been for you I would still be pregnant now but you were the one who ruined it and I hate you for it. I'm the one that is suffering now with all this bleeding a pain and your happy because your not a dad. You are a spoilt mardy little arse who always gets his own way are you happy now you have got your own way this time. Don't reply to this mail coz I really can't be arsed with you anymore. I sent her a mail back asking why she would say those things about me and she replied back with an apology. She said that she's been ill for so long now she's just fed up and depressed. She also said that she saw me in my car a few days earlier and that she's been thinking about me a lot lately. I think she really misses me and it makes me very sad knowing that she is ill and there's nothing I can do about it. I wonder if she wants me back... Don't think I could do that though - all I would be thinking about is this bloke she's been screwing for the past month. What would you do?
  5. mikeyc
    Hello again, It's been 5 weeks since my gf dumped me and 3.5 weeks since she found a new guy... She sent me a text message yesterday. If you've not read my previous posts, my gf became pregnant in December, she decided to terminate in Jan (because I convinced her to do this). A few weeks after the termination, I was dumped, she said she had no feelings for me, she moved on to someone else. I was mortified. I made it through the worst month of my life simply because of my friends and family, I made sure I was never alone and destroyed every posesion that reminded me of her. This last 2 weeks have been good, I've been quite happy, until yesterday when she sends me a message. I told her I never wanted her to contact me again but she decided to send me a text message saying, "you will be happy to know I have an infection in my womb", this was caused by the termination. I blame myself for the break-up and the loss of my child and now I blame myself for her illness. I don't know what to do... I decided to phone her. I was fine on the phone, told her that I hoped everything was ok, it turns out the doctors do not think this is serious and antibiotics should clear the infection. What does she expect me to do now? She sent me an email apologising for the text message, saying she was just upset and fed up. So, now I know she's not happy, is she turning to me for help? Why would she do that? What can I do? Why won't she leave me alone? I feel like asking her if she has any idea what it's like loving her and knowing she is with someone! But then I think she has been through so much more than me, my feelings are nothing compared with what she went through with the termination. I hate this!
  6. mikeyc
    Guys, your problems sound almost identical to mine. I've heard the whole 'I still love you and care for you' bullshit too. If they love and care for us so much, why did they sleep with someone else, knowing full well that it would be worst thing they could do to us? Anyway, with regards to the healing process. Here is what I have found works a treat: 1. Make plans with your buddies, plan as many weekends as you can - go way on holiday, spend some money (that's what it's there for) 2. Look up old friends that you lost contact with when you started seeing this girl (everyone has them - just think back) 3. Make sure you have something to do when you get in from work - a hobby, prefereably sport. Doing exersize makes you feel a lot better. 4. It may be difficult (I found this very hard) but try and keep eating well, even though you don't have an appetite - you need to eat! 5. Do not go out 'on the pull'. If you look to get another girl and you are blown out, it will make you feel worse - just go out and have FUN! 6. Treat yourself. Go shopping for new clothes. I went out and spent 200 pounds on a leather jacket for the weekend, made me feel like a million dollars. 7. Either hide or destroy any reminders that you have of this girl. Photos, clothes, cards, letters, even presents she bought you (I threw away my starwars trilogy because the bitch bought it for me - now that's extreme!) Make a ritual of it. Spend a night and get really mad, even break stuff of hers (as long as you are sure she won't want it back). During this healing process, you don't want to find anything that will remind you of her. 8. DO NOT BE ALONE! Always try and be with family or friends at all times. When you are alone your mind wanders, inevitably to her. I am almost in week 4 and feeling a whole lot better. I hope you all do too. Just remember, this stuff may hurt like hell but it makes us stronger.
  7. mikeyc
    Guys.... Not sure if this was the right thing to do, but it felt soooo good. Last week I heard from an old flame that I haven't seen in 3 years. I saw her for about a week while travelling (she's soooo hot!). Anyways, she is living in London at the moment but flying out to live in Spain for a while on Thursday. It just so happens that I was in London last night (complete coincidence) and I told her I would meet her for a drink... We got quite drunk and she came back to my hotel room, WHAT A NIGHT! No relationship, no ties, just sex and lots of it! My confidence is back... Broken Mikey has left the building! The old Mikey has returned! It's been 3 weeks since I was dumped and this is the best I've felt since it happened. Maybe it's time for us good guys to try being bad for a while. I don't mean treat women like crap, just sleep around and don't have relationships... fun fun fun! Think maybe someone up there still likes me. There is one more thing I've been thinking about... I kinda wish my ex could find out what I got up to, I know it would upset her but I'm not going to lower myself to her level... We're better than them lads!
  8. mikeyc
    Alright Nebo!!!! PMA (Positivie Mental Attitude) Not too sure about the every woman is the same thing. I used to date an angel, she was cute, sooooo nice to me and had a heart of gold (she still does). But one day I realised I just didn't fancy her any more, there was no "spark", so I had to break it off. I did have the decency to wait 3 months before dating someone else (the girl that just dumped me), unlike my current ex, who waited a week and a half!! There are girls out there who care, you just have to keep looking. Does seem to me that the nice guys always get hurt the most. I know a few (censored) that use women, cheat on them and treat them badly and they always seem happy, never once seen one of them distraught over a break-up.
  9. mikeyc
    Thanks Swing. Both you and Mermayd and everyone else on eNotalone are great. I have my friends to help me at weekends and you to help me during the week. I had some great news today, my brother is currently travelling the world just as I did a few years back, when he heard about my troubles he cut short his trip by a few weeks and he returns tomorrow. I get on very well with him and he's only a year younger than me so looks like I'll have someone else to talk to during the week. I took some advice from a reply to one of my earlier posts and made plans for as many weekends as possible, it's been very expensive but I always have something to look forward to. I'm off to Amsterdam with my friends this weekend for 5 days which should ease the pain a lot. I've found that spending as much time as possible with my friends and discussing how I feel helps a lot! I've also learnt that my two best friends have both had similar experiences and they both remember it like it happened yesterday, they went through exactly what I am going through now. My worst fear --> I only hope that I don't run into my ex... She lives in the next town and I often drive past where she works. The worst thing I can imagine is seeing her walking with him holding hands, or worse. I never want to see her again but as we both live in the same area it's probably going to happen at some point, what should I do if I see her? Ignore her? Talk to her? I'm not a rude person but I have told her that I never want to see her or her friends again.
  10. mikeyc
    If you've read my other posts, you will realise that I was dumped by my girlfriend of 2 and a half years on the 19th January this year. 12 days later she was with someone else. She broke my heart. I'm in week 4 and because of my family, friends and eNotAlone.com, things were getting easier. However, I still do not sleep or eat well. When I do sleep, my dreams are mostly about her... At first, when the pain was greatest, I used to dream that we were together and happy, they were nice dreams. When I woke, for a few seconds I remained happy, I turned my head to kiss my girl just as I did almost every morning we were together and it hits me! I will never see her there again - at least I had a few seconds of happiness. These dreams stopped a few days ago, last night it was different. I dreamt about seeing her with him. I can't go into detail, I'm at work and don't want to get too upset, but I woke up in a panic and in tears. Now I've started thinking about her again. Just as I thought the pain was subsiding I get knocked right back to the bottom rung again. I don't want to dream about her, I don't want to think about her - all I want is for her to get out of my head and let me get on with my life! How long will these dreams last? How long will the pain last? I have a life to get on with!!
  11. mikeyc
    I have decided to leave it. There is no way that we will get back together now. She has found someone else. This hurts so much but I have to get on with my life. I suppose I'll learn from the mistakes I made and perhaps I will be a better man for it. Hopefully she will be happy but I can't help but think she will never be as happy with someone else as she was with me, I know I won't, she is a wonderful woman. I cannot be her friend either - it must be total seperation, I don't think I will ever see her again. Life can't get much worse than this.
  12. mikeyc
    I've always wanted to put on a couple of stone of pure muscle. Now, for once in my life, I have the time, I'll have the money as soon as the sale of my house goes through (luckily it was all in my name) and I certainly have the motivation. One thing has changed now... Last night I spent 2 hours searching every corner of my house for reminders of her, pictures, postcards, love letters, Valentines cards, teddy bears, clothes, EVERYTHING was thrown out. I feel better now. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. A new chapter in the future bestselling novel that is Me. Thanks King, u rule!
  13. mikeyc
    My young padawan learner. A Jedi feels confidence flow through him but do not give in to the dark side. The dark side leads to hate, suffering and no women. Seriously though mate, everyone is different and I'm sure confidence is easier to obtain for some people than it is for others. Didn't someone once say that if you make a girl laugh, you're half way to her heart (can any girls back that up?). Maybe you should take a step back, just talk to this girl like she was one of your male mates, have a laugh but don't expect to score. This way, your true personality will shine through rather than your nerves. If she likes you - she'll come after you and you win. One thing that does dent your confidence is rejection. I have first hand experience of this as do millions of blokes out there. If you go after girls and time after time you are rejected it's very hard to keep that confident outlook. I used to find that the fear of being laughed at or rejected prevented me from trying to chat to a girl, however, you soon realise that most girls like to be approached - imagine the buzz they get from that, it's probably similar to the feeling you would get if a girl singled you out in a crowded room. Would be nice to have a girls viewpoint on this though, wouldn't it? I may be completely wrong.
  14. mikeyc
    Hope this tip helps some of you guys out there... I'm not the best looking guy in the world (to put it mildly). At school I never had a girlfriend. My first real girlfriend was at the age of 16 and she was a psycho, so lets ignore her for now. Through University I dated the occasional girl but I've never been the sort of person that had girls coming after me - I had to do the chasing and usually, the girls that I dated were friends with me for a while so they got to know that I'm actually quite a nice guy. (this is leading somewhere... Honest) After University, I decided that I'd had enough and wanted to travel. I travelled the world working in various places until I landed a job as a rep, promoting a party. I was desperate for money and it seemed like a fun job - I was soooo right! I spent 5 months on this job and it changed my life forever. In order to make money, I needed to sell... In order to sell, I needed confidence. As the weeks went by my confidence grew and grew, women started coming to me without me even talking to them, I was a woman-magnet. When I finished the job, I returned to the UK and all of my friends said there was a different air about me. People can sense someone with confidence and women love it. I'm not talking about being cocky, simply don't be afraid to talk to someone, anyone in fact. My advice is, if you're a single guy looking for love, then don't look so hard.. Just enjoy yourself, it doesn't matter what you look like, if you think you are unnatractive, so what! Get out there and have a laugh!!! Confidence around the opposite sex is not easy to attain but with it you will find that getting your foot in the door is a whole lot easier and if you are a nice guy all you need is that foot in the door, then your personality will seal the deal. Did that make any sense?!!?!?
  15. mikeyc
    I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years - I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together but she didn't feel the same about me and then found someone else. This only happened last week and I also feel as though I never want to be hurt like this again. Your problems sound on a different scale to mine, the girl that hurt you obviously has problems and they will come around and bite her eventually - that's a promise. With regards to moving on, it's all very recent for me but I have been thinking back to past relationships, not the ending of those but the beginning. I know it's difficult to see past the strong emotions caused by the break-up, but if you remember what it's like to fall in love with someone at the start and all those good times that you have learning about each other and wanting to spend every moment of every day with that person then you may realise, as I think I have, that it's worth starting again. I don't believe that there is any one person that is a true love - I believe there are millions of people out there that could be your true love and if the last one passed you by then it's her loss move on to the next one (there's a lota love out there just waiting to be found ) I am going to take a break from relationships for a while, maybe a month, maybe a year - not sure yet... It's a new chapter of a very long book. Good luck.
  16. mikeyc
    I have just been dumped by my girlfriend who is seeing someone else. I was very angry and upset and last night I went through the whole house and found every photo that reminded me of her, every piece of clothing, every letter, every Valentines, birthday or Christmas card and threw them all in the bin - now that's closure. I felt much better for it. Not sure how I'm going to feel in the future, but right now I feel as though I've started a new chapter in my life. There are still pictures of me and her, my friends have some, she has a lot (unless she's done the same but I doubt that) but at least I am not going to find them any time soon. At least I still have my memories of her and I hope in a few years I will think of the good times rather than the fact that she is with someone else.
  17. mikeyc
    Keep it real... I have also read this about abortion and I regret my initial reaction now but nothing can change what has happened. Do you think that in time she will regain those feelings she had for me? We were so much in love and I know she loved me enough to want marriage and to spend the rest of her life with me, I treated her like a Queen and she was nicer to me than anyone I have known. We did have the odd argument but they never lasted long. I feel sure that she will not find another person suited to her like I am. I just need to know if these effects of abortion are permanent, will she always see me through those eyes or will the feelings of hate subside and give way to the feelings she had to begin with?
  18. mikeyc
    Sounds like you're switched on. I'm going to try and get fit again. Before I met her I was kickboxing 3 times a week and hitting the gym every other day - then it stopped and all my time went on her. I've tried exersize but I feel so weak, I don't eat well - seem to have lost my apetite. Perhapps that will return with time. Bottom line: Life goes on, there's a huge world out there and so many other problems (like we're on the brink of war) that make our problems seem insignificant. There's also a whole lot more fish in the sea and even though we can't see it happening now, we'll probably meet someone else in time. Christ, my mates used to class me as the stud of the group, what the hell happened to that? What have I turned into?
  19. mikeyc
    I don't think she was seeing him before splitting up with me. I asked her and she said she has never cheated on me... I believe her. She told me she ran into him at a club the weekend after she split up with me. I hope to god she didn't meet him when she was seeing me, that would make this so much worse.
  20. mikeyc
    I'm going through the same thing now. 2 days ago I found out that my ex (split up 2 weeks ago) is seeing someone else. I know the guy! On our first ever date to a club he tried to chat her up (2 and a half years ago), she said she didn'f fancy him but look what's happened now! I miss her so much and every minute of every day I think about what he is doing with her... She's MY GIRL!! So many feelings going through my head: - I'll never find anyone as beautiful as her - she was so attractive all of my friends asked how the hell I ended up with her (i'm not the most attractive guy in the world) - I remember what it was like when we first started dating - sex all the time, everywhere... THEY ARE DOING THAT NOW!!! - What I want more than anything else is for her to get hurt by this guy then come crying back to me - she can go to hell! - I wish my friends lived here, all the friends I had, I met through her and now they don't want to know me. I sit at home every night thinking about what she is doing with that bastard! This is a living hell.
  21. mikeyc
    I started dating my girl 2 and a half years ago. I've dated many girls in the past, but none of them like this. We spent every night together, e-mailed each other every morning at work had pet-names for each other (sickening really ). Just before Christmas she told me that she was pregnant. Now, I've always had problems with commitment and my reaction was severe - I basically wanted her to abort. My girl wanted to keep the baby, she said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and she was going to ask me to marry her on New Years Eve but my mind was made up. The decision was not mine and I realised that as did she but she still decided to abort saying that she did not want a child in case I split up with her after she gave birth (I would have NEVER done that - if I ever have a child, not matter what happened I would be the father). The abortion was carried out just after New Year and everything seemed ok. My girl still seemed to love me and our relationship comtinued for a few weeks. On Jan 17th she moved out saying that she needed a little space. I accepted this and waited. On Jan 19th she came in to my house and announced that it was over - my world fell apart! I clung to the hope that she would come back to me in time she even said that she just wanted space and she did not want a relationship with anyone at the moment. Just when I thought I could not feel worse BANG!! 2 weeks after our breakup she tells me she is seeing someone else. I found out that this person is someone I've seen before. On our very first date I took my girl to a club where a lad chatted her up for a long time - I did nothing about it thinking that he was a friend of hers, she also told me she did not fancy him - NOW SHE IS SLEEPING HIM!!! I've never felt like this. Every evening I think about what he is doing with her, how could she get over our relationship in 2 weeks?!?!? She wanted to marry me for god sake! To make matters worse, all the friends I have in this area are hers and since the breakup they have not contacted me - I have noone. I hurt so bad and she doesn't even care. I asked her last week if she missed me at all, she replied no. We have never been apart for more than 3 days in 2 and a half years and now we are apart she doesn't even miss me. All I need is for someone to tell me they've been through this and that there is a light at the end of this dark, long and very lonely tunnel.
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