Stinkweed

This is High School, right? Well, I have a small question: What's homecoming about in college? I know homecoming's gonna be next week, but I think it's only gonna be football game. But then again, I dunno anything... I doubt there's gonna be a dance type thing like there was in high school... Even if there was, I'm gonna be too busy, or just in a lousy mood to ask anyone out. But I'd like to know...

People complain so much... Women say they're unhappy cause their men don't even last 20 minutes and they last 45 hours (note: I'm exaggerating) so some resort to other methods (vibrators, etc) and claim the alternative is more pleasurable (I dunno... Maybe it's only in movies, so you have the right to ignore me). But if they last long, then they say it's too long? We all should spend less time watching TV (and porn for some people, as well)... that way we won't just expect everything to be so "perfect" like it's shown in the media.

Yeah I am in college and I moved from FL to North Carolina as well. I read on some place that Vitamin A Acid can help you get rid of these superficial wrinkles and stuff, but in the beginning the peeling is pretty bad. I dunno if I should give a try, cause, well, I wouldn't wanna go to school with my face literaly falling appart... I dunno how long it takes for the peeling to end either or to improve. If it's not very long, I might give it a try for the coming winter holiday. What do you think? Or is this something I shouldn't be concerned about?

Relax. At this point it really doesn't matter. You probably are never gonna see this guy ever again, and what's done is done. The way I see it, it's his huge loss, cause well, you did put up with the crying, and I don't think he'll find any more people who will on this world anytime soon. Best wishes.

I do wash my face at least 2 times a day and have been doing so for about a year but like I said I moved to a colder climate... Still, is that much too often? Should I drop it down to just once a day? If so, morning or night? Nope, same time zone... I just moved from the south up north, but the weather is considerably colder here (down south it would be warm year-round, except maybe for january and february when it would get a bit "chilly", but up here it is chilly already, and it has gone down to 32 degrees F or less already a couple of times). ALSO, the wrinkles started before the cold (the cold started recently, but with it came the dryness/slightly peeling of the skin). So I dunno...

I do drink a lot of water. Funny thing, though, is I used to be completely zit-free not so long ago man (I was younger, but I thought I was done with all the hormonal changes BS already...). What about the other stuff? Wrinkles are normal, right? Any idea about the sleeplessness?

I dunno what's happening to me. I very rarely get a good night's sleep, and my skin is like goin haywire (maybe climate changes? I used to live somewhere a lot warmer...), all dried up, with zits (even though I'm 18 already which brings me to my next point), and wrinkles are starting to appear out of nowhere as if I had started to smoke or something (which I don't, by the way). I mean, I know wrinkles come with time, but a couple of months ago there were no signs wrinkles would appear anytime soon... It's just shocking how fast it's happening. I dunno what's wrong with me... I think I'm a mess. Am I just growing old? But how can this possibly be so fast? Or is it normally this way when that end of the second decade of our lives looms closer? Man, this just plain sucks... I don't have any friends, my grades suck, and now I don't even have my youth anymore to boot. I know it could be worse, so I'm not gonna further complain about this. But I still wonder: Is it normal for your "life clock" to go from 0 to 60 in 1.2 seconds all of a sudden when you're 18 going on 19?

I think I sorta relate to the feeling. I've changed since high school too, even though it hasn't been that long. It's been a while since I last made someone laugh out loud like I used to all the time (and I used to love my own sense of humor) with stuff I just did at the spur of the moment. I mean, it was ME. Now I've got no friends. I'm unhappy even with my physical appearance/ how out of shape I am. I'm kinda like my own loser twin who happens to be in a bad mood all the time, and gets mad for the dumbest reasons (except this twin at least has a better haircut, and maybe even a better wardrobe). And back then girls were among the top items of my list of non-academic/"social" priorities. Now I just don't care and would just be happy to make friends like the ones I made in my last 2 years in HS (I know their goals/hobbies weren't 100% the same as mine, and back then I wanted to meet people who were a bit more similar to me in that aspect, but maybe it's just not easy to find people of the sort). It seems to me like they are a pretty uncommon type of people to run into, or maybe circumstances under which I met them were favorable, I dunno. I used to cuss and love it, now I don't, but then again people in my school very rarely do, so maybe I caught the habit, or rather "dishabit", from them. I gotta say it's not a change I like in the least, and I can still vividly remember who I used to be in HS and what I would do on a typical day... I mean, some people say HS sucks, but to me it was awesome. Well, at least the last 2 years were. The first 2 I do admit sucked way worse than what I'm going through right now, for which I'm grateful.

1. Fear of failure 2. Extreme phobia of still living off of my parent's monetary help by the time I'm 25 (see number 1). 3. Fear of working a job I hate IF there were other alternatives (because if there's nothing else, you gotta do what you gotta do...). 4. Fear of having no options. 5. Fear of breaking the law... Or not so much as of getting caught breaking the law, especially if I do it in an unsuspecting way. I guess the most realistic and important one for me is number 1... I can fail at anything anytime, which is why I always try to do my best, because I fear failure... With the others it's more of a "what if?" thing that might only be problematic in the future. But not failure, which is always knocking on my door every single second... And it's more of a fear of failure in life and official matters...

You could spend 1000 years trying to figure this out by yourself, but you would just go crazy. So the best thing to do is get the REAL answer coming right from her. Ask her out, and you will know for sure whether you're just a friend or if she thinks you'd make a "sweet" boyfriend.

Well, I might try the weight watchers thing... I do eat veggies at least with ONE of my meals (most of the time it's much more than that...). I just dunno how to eat more calories without having to eat like pasta and that kinda crap which makes me gain weight like crazy. I mean, I eat enough veggies, and I wouldn't wanna eat to the point that I feel sick and turn green like the incredible hulk from the rush of greens entering my body in order to reach those 2000 calories... I know you can't spot train, it's just that I look at myself, and I don't see myself as 15 pounds overweight, I see myself as like 25 pounds overweight (well I dunno that many people who are 15 pounds overweight, to be honest... But 15 pounds of that extra fat? Is it really supposed to look like a lot? Maybe it is then I'm pretty normal... Well, there is that weightloss pill commercial where they show "just 5 pounds of fat" and it looks like a HUGE chunk of lard... And no I take no weightloss pills of any kind. But I just would think that I've got 15 pounds of extra fat but in like my butt, thighs and some of my midsection, and like 10 more spread all over my chest, arms etc. I mean, maybe I'm not consciously taking in account that if I lose 15 pounds of fat, I still will have some fat left, which is healthy, of course, it's just that I'm not picturing that fat there in my "ideal self-image"...). REALLY sorry if I lost you there... I mean, it just can't be that I'm like losing muscle mass (I'm stronger than ever, and when I flex it even shows through that extra fat). I think that I'm gonna try on my own for just another 2 months and see how it goes... Or at least until I actually have the time to pay a visit to weigh watchers (because these last 2 weeks have been horribly hectic... But I've managed to stay pretty strict with my regime from since a year ago). I myself wouldn't mind being kinda chubby/big if it wasn't for those places where the fat is stored in my body... I'm just tired of not having a flatter chest, or a more decent-sized butt and thighs in comparison with the rest of my body. I mean, my love handles and belly fat and even arm fat don't bug me near as much as those other places... I mean, back when I was 245 pounds it was just unhealthy, but I could've chosen to live happily being 210 pounds (which is more than what I weigh as of now already...), if I could've spot trained those spots that bug me so much and make me self-conscious... Seeing that that is impossible and that even as of now those spots are still noticeable and still bug me, the only solution I've seen is to lower my entire body fat as a whole, which is what I'm trying to do... Now, if I could only stop constantly thinking about this topic... I mean there's nothing wrong with wanting to be in shape, but I sometimes get sidetracked thinking about how badly I want to lose weight and desperate to see results more quickly, because sometimes I lose 5 pounds and it just appears to not be noticeable at all (it might be noticeable... It's just that I've never been the one to notice whenever I lose weight until I see an old photo from 6 months ago)... Well, thank you and best wishes.

Well of course... But I highly doubt people with snaggle teeth, mullets and being THAT overweight would post their picture in that site. I really doubt the original poster looks like that... I mean, that's not ugly really... It's more like poor higiene/health habits, horrible style and just looking plain undecent (which is all including within attitude as well. SOME people with bad attitudes don't care about their higiene, etc, either). Of course you can't expect a person who's got this horrible rash/skin infection all over his face to be "attractive". But they most likely weren't born that way. Which is my point: nobody's ugly really. I mean they're not born "ugly" at least. Cause like it's been said: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

Yeah, that's what I said I heard earlier... So if it happens in a back-alley type of environment, and it's just like 10 people beating on maybe one or just 2 victims, then I'd definitively exit the scene and yell "fire!". If it's like 10 against 10, or 5 against 5 I definitively wouldn't get myself involved. I mean, no way... Not only is that a LOT of people, but it could be just gangs or something, and nobody wants to get involved in that. I mean, calling the ambulance and the police is still appropiate, of course, but for the rest, but I don't give a hoot who wins in that case.

Yeah, I guess I used too many words to just say exactly what you're sayin here...

It depends, yeah... If they have weapons, I'd try to exit the scene as silently as possible then go around yelling "fire! Help me! There's fire!" (I was told that it's statistically proven that people do respond more to "fire!" than to just yelling "help!" I dunno how right that conclusion is, but it's worth a try!). After I get some people's attention, well the rest is contacting the police, etc, etc. If they DON'T have weapons, there's only like two of them, and they haven't seriously hurt their victim, I MIGHT just jump in and help... It'd be pretty much two-on-two, which is more fair. If there's too many of them, I wouldn't risk it, so I'd just do what I said before. I just know that I wouldn't be able to run away and try to forget about it... I'd have to do SOMETHING. I've seen lesser things happen (example: a group of teenagers VERBALLY picking on a lone victim), and I twitch from desire to try to help the victim or at least stop them, even when this "victim" has been "mean" to me before. So yeah, I just know that if it's something as serious as a beating, I'd have to help.

Couldn't have said it better myself... PLUS, people over the net are mean-spirited lots of times too. They do it cause they might wanna be all tough/mean over the net cause they wish they'd be able to do it in real life, but wouldn't wanna risk getting their butt whooped really bad, in which case they'd deserve it, cause who's to say who's pretty and who's not or who's "smart" and who's "dumb"? etc. I guess they wanna be "tough" and "mean" just cause they're really insecure underneath it all and feel the need to belittle others to make themselves appear bigger in their own mind, which is just not right, in my opinion. In the end looks don't matter... I've been told by many girls (yes, girls. Not my mom and my grandma, or any other female relative LOL that I'm good looking, yet I've never had a girlfriend, have never gone out with a girl, etc. It's all in the attitude man (which I can say with all certainty: I've had the wrong attitude all my life... I still sort of do, but I'm working on it, and yes, I've noticed results in how girls look at me)... Don't give up because some anonymous people who'll never see you in real life give you poor ratings on purpose just for them to feel better about themselves.

I can't sleep during the day... I wake up at the first ray of sunlight and can't go back to sleep unless I had gone to bed at like 4 am... Then I'll definitively be going to a doctor sometime soon. thank you and best wishes.

How is it that it's so common for people to start kissing when they get drunk? I mean, it's just... weird. Is alcohol like an aphrodisiac now? Thank god I don't drink and I've never been interested on it, cause stuff like that only brings trouble, in my opinion. Anyway, I'm not sure which guy you're into the most or at least REALLY into. But I'd say your relationship with Tom sound a bit... Healthier. So I'd say two things: 1- take into consideration Dave hasn't contacted you anymore. That could be your cue to just move on... 2- Follow your heart: If you think you still like that Tom guy, go for him. Best wishes and good luck.

And about that... I mean, it's just that I've been fat ever since I was like 9. Over the years I got fatter and fatter, and always self-conscious and other kids made fun of me. And I guess it still bothers me BIG TIME, and I just don't wanna spend another year of my youth like this (and I dunno how to not be self-conscious... I mean, I'll have to get hypnotized or something), and eating 2000 calories never worked for me (as I've already said, yes I've eaten 2000 calories before and worked out like a madman, and didn't lose a single pound. Then I started eating 1800, and it still didn't work. The only thing that's worked is what I started doing a year ago, which is what I'm doing now, except maybe I'm working out a little bit harder now...). So I really dunno what else to do, except just keep doing what I'm already doing... I might try the pilates just to add a little variety to my workouts, but I'm afraid eating more just won't work.

The thing is that this plan is the only thing that's ever worked for me. You think I didn't use to eat more a couple of years ago. And I exercised A LOT. I didn't lose a single pound. I think I'm just gonna try the pilates. And at the end of the day it was actually 1680 calories. It's like I've noticed now that my weight used to be more evenly distributed: I used to do martial arts so my legs were pretty much the strongest I had. And I was equally fat all around. Actually, my upper body was the fattest: I had HUGE love handles and a pretty big belly. Now it's like I've lost a lot more fat from my upper body (But I still have some left...), but the lower body's stayed almost the same. I don't even know if it'll all go away (well, I'm not saying ALL, but I do want to get my body fat percentage down to at least 20%....) by losing 15 pounds... I mean, 15 pounds are a lot of fat, right? So maybe I should wait till I lose it and if I still look like crap (which would most likely be that I lost more muscle mass than fat), I'll go see a doctor so I can have a better diet plan then. I just know what my body would look like if I slimmed down... But I'm just afraid that either: a. I'm losing muscle mass? I mean, I dunno but I look in a lot better shape than what I did before I started my regime b. I need to gain much more mucle if I want all that fat to not be as noticeable (I might be wrong, but I think that if my back and shoulders were bigger, maybe my thighs and butt wouldn't look big by comparison anymore) c. I'll have to lose like 30 pounds instead of just 15. This one's not likely the problem, I guess, right? ALSO, I have a question: Is it true that eating fish is bad when you're trying to lose that fat around the chest area I was talking about earlier? I still have some left there, and even though the muscle below is a lot bigger than before (so when I flex, it's not very noticeable, except for the lower part a little...). So I eat fish pretty often and I was wondering if this was true (I read it in a men's fitness message board, and I dunno how trustworthy the source was). Thanks and best wishes.

Well the main reason I even joined these forums was the liberty to be honest without the risk of feeling embarrassed in front of people I know who might use it against me, etc. So I wouldn't lie in here, really. I might exaggerate sometimes (such as the 2 hours a day thing, which I hope I've now clarified is not very exact), but I don't lie, lol. Anyway I COUNTED it. Today I've eaten 1380 calories, but I haven't worked out (I woke up too tired so I decided to sleep an extra hour... I might work out a bit later though). For dinner I'll be consuming about 300 calories (tabouli salad... I just love that stuff). And it's not like I ever suffer from hunger or anxiety... So I never thought there was anything wrong with what I'm doing. But there must be, hence my dilemma... I know I'm not... Well at least I think so. I'm kinda chunky but not OBESE! I never said I did that. I said I did 30 minutes of aerobic exercise 20 of which I alternate between near-sprints and fast jogging for 30 and 30 seconds every minute. The last 10 minutes I just do the fast jogging. I dunno about the my heart rate, I guess I'd have to take a look. But I try to maintain it above 190 for at least 20 minutes. I dunno what my max heartrate is but my resting heart rate is 76 (I dunno if that's bad, but oh well...). My colesterol has NEVER ever in my life been high. It's always at a safe distance from the top of the "healthy" limit. I dunno the exact number for right now, and I don't have the last blood test I got done at hand, but I do remember knowing I was at a good level. And that would be anaerobic right? The thing is... Ok, I don't have any pictures of what I'd like to look like. But it's just regular kids my age who look like that, who're not even necessarily "athletes" and stuff. I dunno if I can find a pic of someone who looks like what I have in mind but if you want me to I can pm you one or something if I find it. And I see some of them eat much more than I do, and it just kinda makes me wonder what is it that I'm doing wrong... It's GOTTA be something. I thought I was eating the right food. Now I think I'm eating the right food and the right quantity (I don't suffer from hunger as I said before, yet I'm never eating to the point I feel too full). Maybe I just have to wait a little longer? I'm gonna see how much I weight this weekend (2 weeks after the last time I weighed myself). If I haven't lost any weight, or I have gained weight, I will definitively go see a doctor ASAP. It's just that it's fat in places like my thighs and a little bit on the lowere part of my chest (surprisingly, when I flex it's not noticeable, and I can feel the muscle, especially on the upper part, but then when I relax it it almost look like some sort of small man-boobs or something... Same with my butt, my thighs and my arms... Looking kinda flabby when I'm relaxed, but when I felx it looks pretty muscular. But it's flabby as in fat-flabby, definitively not like muscle-flabby as in the huge body-builders whose muscles sometimes look flabby when they're not flexing).

Oh there's gonna be whoopings-a-plenty for me, don't worry, lol. I will get my butt whooped, which is why I said I'll just do it for the heck of it. It's like this one guy said a while ago her on enotalone. He said something along the lines of: "Set a goal of how many rejections you want to get." Along the way you'll most likely going to get at least one positive answer, right? Makes sense to me... Best wishes and thank you.

Yeah, I guess in the end that's for certain, lol. Sorry I was kinda "impatient" earlier today. I mean, it's just that I knew I was gonna see her today, and she did just what I didn't want her to do: Keep glaring at me. Now the thing is she's swell and stuff, but I wanted to get through this very busy week before making any kind of move, but in doing so I did the wrong thing: I haven't spoken to her, lol. I just dunno what to say/do. I guess I'll have to pass, even though it feels so wrong with the way she keeps glaring at me I think like I should ask her out, but then again it's not the first time this happens, so it's most likely gonna end up with her rejecting me. On the other hand, it'd make good "practice". know what I mean? I'm not the smoothest guy, but at least it'd help to do things just for the heck of it from time to time, so it's not just that I'm being negative, thus I don't wanna try. I'll just do whatever man. She'll probably reject me so why make too much of an effort? I'll just like wait for her after class or something and get it done. Best wishes.

No way. I said 2 hours AT MOST. I seriously doubt I even get past the 1 hour most of the time (that's like 95% of the time, lol). And sometimes I just can't do it every day. Like last week: It was a very tough week, so I was only able to work out for 4 days. Like 4 years ago I did do about 8 hours a week, but then stopped and dropped down to like 5, cause first I was feeling burnt out, and also because I lost motivation because I didn't lose weight back then, but now I think it is because I just ate way too much. Now I do like 30 minutes of intese cardio (for the first 20 minutes I do 30 seconds of almost sprinting and 30 seconds of pretty fast jogging every minute. Then the last 10 minutes i just do the fast jogging). Then I do weight for about 15 minutes every other day. So that's 3.15 hours weekly on your average week. Then every day I do pushups also and some crunches (this I do EVERY single day, cause it's easy to do right after I wake up and right before going to bed). Sometimes I might have some spare time on my week so I might add an extra-hour tops. Sometimes I might have not enough time so I might subtract about 45 mins - hour. So it depends, yea, but still it's not even close to 8.75. Sorry I wasn't thinking clearly when I said 2 hours daily, yeah... So your muscle mass should be through the roof compared to mine, especially since I don't do weights to gain mass per se. I try to tone/become lean... But yes, in the end I guess I'll have to talk to a doctor.... I'm pretty sure I'd fit in the mesomorphic category... I mean, fat is pretty evenly distributed throughout my body, although there might be SOME endomorphic on me, cause I think if I were to pick that one place where I have a little more fat than on all the others, it would be down there (my butt and a little bit on my thighs to be more precise). But there's no really lean part of me. The thing is that I've found out that carbs are killer to me. I have observed the pattern that every time I eat too many carbs I start to gain weight (I do eat carbs, especially the ones coming from lettuce, fruit some cereals and such. But I don't eat bread, pasta, etc cause that does make me gain weight). So, is it that I need more anaerobic exercise going on (I guess I do give more importance to cardio, cause I've always thought it was the one way to burn fat...)? I mean, I guess I'd have to rephrase what I said above: My original goal was to just slim down/become lean... So when i first started I didn't even lift AT ALL. Now I do lift a little in hopes that maybe broader shoulders and a broader back and bigger arms will make me look a bit better even if I still got fat around my arms and a bit of love handles... So in a way it'll be impossible for me to just be slender, because I'm lifting, which is ok, as long as I at least look good. I mean the idea of looking "stronger" doesn't bother me at all either... Or am I completely wrong about something? So Should I take the weights more seriously or something?