Stinkweed

I already said I'm not hoping/going for the male model type of thing. I've unwillingly had to take Physical education in school, and unfortunately during those uncomfortable locker room moments regular kids looked a lot better than I look even now. And they didn't even look close to what a male model looks like by the way. And I'm not sayin I GOTTA look like them. But I do want to look better than I do (and it's ok even if the six-pack doesn't show, cause I don't care. I just don't want to look all flabby, at least on my arms and stuff). I don't gain weight with excercise. I said I gain weight when I eat 2000 calories a day EVEN if I exercise, which sucks. I've tried it in the past, and that's what I've gotten. Well actually if I eat 2000 and exercise like I do know I just tend to maintain my weight, not to lose weight. The only way I've ever lost weight was by eating little and exercising a lot. I actually THINK I eat like 1600 calories. I'm not 100 percent sure. I can give you more exact numbers and maybe there's nothing to worry about that. I just don't have those numbers right now. But like you said, you're a mixed martial artist. I'm no martial artist. You probably work out for like 6 hours a day or more. I must work out for like 2 at most. So yeah, there's still a huge difference.

Well, I guess I'll go back to doing what I do best: NOTHING. Best wishes.

Well, flat like FLAT as a pancake? Cause I mean... Yeah, there's always gotta be SOMETHING there, right? Well if there's at least something "grabable" I think it's good, lol. Doesn't have to be too big. But They don't have to be HUGE in my opinion. For some reason, I tend to notice the butt before I notice the breasts... Well face first, then butt, then breasts, LOL. Just what I think...

It's weird cause I'm pretty strong, I know this. I mean, I bet I have a six-pack, lol. It just happens to be hidden behind the groceries. And I have some love-handles (Not too much, but some). It just happens that fat's always been pretty much equally distributed all over my body. And my butt's kinda flabby still and even my arms a very very little bit as well as my chest and thighs and calves. I dunno why. I'm being as honest as I can, even though all I just said is kinda embarrassing. Like it doesn't show much through clothes, but it IS there, and it annoys me/makes me feel self-conscious. I'm not going for a male-model look, but at least I want to look more decent like the "average" semi-athletic guy my age. I guess I'll have to see a doctor then, cause it's got me puzzled. If what that site says is true, then something's probably funky besides the fact that I supposedly should be eating over 2000 calories a day?!? When I eat that no matter how much I excercise, I just gain weight. It just seems like A LOT. When I was 14, I visited a nutritionist who assigned me an 1800 calory diet plan and at least 20 minutes cardio or 1 hour walks. So I think 2000 is kinda too much... Just what I think.

By the way. I'll see her again tomorrow. So It'd be good if I get some suggestions before, say, 11 am? Ok, thank you and best wishes. PS: If not, don't worry... I'll just keep not doing anything. She might think I'm a weirdo, but who cares what anyone thinks? Although she might not be so far from the truth...

I doubt I'll get any responses at this point but here goes: Well this girl... I feel like MIGHT be behaving like being a jerkwad and it's bugging me. I mean, in the case that that dude was her boyfriend, all's pretty cool except she helped me on something that one day when we had the good long convo. So she'd probably think I used her in a way or something? On the other hand, if she doesn't have a boyfriend, she might be completely weirded out about my bizarre behavior. I mean I absolutely HATE when a girl starts ignoring me after something happens, and now I'm doing it to her? I think it's too late to turn back now. I've ignored her (but I didn't mean too... I just didn't know what to say/do anymore) for too long. What do you think?

Is there like an at-home do it yourself way to determine your healthy weight? You see, it's been buggin me because a year ago I was really overweight. I'm a little bit over 6' but I was 245lbs. Right now I'm 190lbs, and the difference is noticeable or course. But after I got past the 200lbs mark, things have gone realllyyy slooooowww. But I can't help but be annoyed at how some parts of me still look kinda chubby. I mean, my original goal was 180lbs and now 175lbs. But I don't think that even after losing 15lbs I'll look good. I mean, what I have left must be more than just 15 lbs. So it's really annoying that I try VERY hard. I eat pretty healthy, small quantities and about every 3 hours. Still I think I eat less than 1500 calories a day, and I work out daily (sometimes I do a little weights. When I do I make sure I drink a protein shake for the extra protein) and do 30 minutes pretty intense cardio to the point that I'm dripping with sweat (it's this work-out plan that supposedly makes your metabolism become faster or something... I dunno if I can find the link to the page, but if you want to see it, just let me know and I'll try to find it). Still haven't been able to go below 190lbs even though I've changed a lot of things along the way. Shoud I go see an expert or something at this point? Because it seems that doing things my way is not working... Not at least now it isn't. Best wishes.

I THINK I know what he means... I mean, it must be pretty hard to make friends with some dude who's just waiting for you to leave so he can start doing his thing with your roomate... I mean, I THINK it would be pretty hard.

That's the thing. I haven't really talked to her much since that one time last week. So should i talk to her some more? Is it cool if I wait for her after class or something if I don't get the chance to talk to her during class?

Ok, I'm not very good at multi-tasking, lol. Seriously, I can only do one goal/"mission" at a time. So here's my little problem: Last week, I talked to this girl who I've always thought was cute. Uh, the thing is she's from another country, and I dunno much about her culture, which doesn't help... Anyway, we talked for a bit and learned a few things about each other. I was thinking about asking her out, but then came a friend of hers (a dude, btw). So us 3 talked for a little bit and then, well we took off on separate directions (well they left together). Anyway, before that, and for a little bit after, I had a hard time concentrating just thinking about the girl. The next class we had together we talked for a very very brief amount of time, but I kinda noticed her acting different, but I didn't mind. I stopped thinking about it completely over the weekend and now today we had the same class, I got there late and she was there, so we couldn't speak and I kinda felt with my peripheral vision how she looked at me a couple of times. Then she exited the classroom when class was over way before me. When I got out of class, pretty much the last person, I walked down and saw her from far away talking to another guy (I don't quite remember if it was the same guy who joined us that other time), and she kept like glancing at me and I couldn't help but glance back a couple of times too. My main problem is that this week I NEED to focus on other things. I didn't/don't even feel like talking to girls... Not today, at least. And it's things like this that do get me sidetracked a lot, and I can't afford it. On the other hand, if I were to wait another week to ask her out, it might be weird. So what do you say? I kinda feel no motivation or interest in doing it, but some motivation MIGHT help. Thank you all. Best wishes.

Wow... I'm speechless now. I feel even more upset. Whoever it is that writes the laws of nature/fate, should most definitively go back to the drawing board.

Life's just not fair sometimes... I just don't understand why this would have to happen to anyone. I didn't know her, but I can honestly say to anyone who did: you have my heartfelt condolences. RIP Leah.

Does being probed by aliens count as any of the above? 0X If it does, then I gotta proudly say at least ONCE in my entire life. Nah, jk jk. I don't believe in that bogus, but if it does happen to people, then I'm thankful it hasn't happened to me... I wouldn't want my first time to be either: 1- me on the receiving end 2- with aliens 3- with probes 4- before I'm married/in love, which I know might sound girly/cheesy, but get over it. PS: sorry that I'm not funny... Well maybe I am, but it's a very specific kind of funny right now: It's a 3am-after-a-night-out-drinking kind of funny.

Well yes, it's better to just do it even if you don't think there are any signs. The more you try (even if you're not sure how good your chances are), the more chances you'll have of getting a positive response. It's what I've been trying to do recently. But yes, I mean, if a girl smiles at me and acts pleasant to be around of, it increases the chances of me asking her out. But that's ME, and probably any other guy who is socially inept (no offense if that sounded to harsh you guys) but trying his best to get better or those guys who are more extroverted. Some of us just don't wanna stay shy/introverted forever and need the practice and trial and error. For those shy guys who are not trying, but still are good people at the core, and once you get to know them they are cool and stuff, but they just don't have people skills around strangers then it might be a different story (I used to be a LOT like that, now I'm just a little... I mean not so long ago I behaved in school JUSt like I did at home, but currently I do behave a little different but still try to act amicable around strangers whenever I can); it's all I'm sayin. I guess people from both sides have to make an effort in the end either way.

True, I guess. Well, the way you suggested is good. I mean, it's basically askiing out, just not 100% up front but it's basically "Hey, I'm telling you to ask me out". Either way, she can't just smile at a shy guy and expect him to guess she likes him. She's gotta do something! Best wishes.

I will do that then... But I'm not taking the prescriptions anymore... I haven't for like 2 years now. See, I was thinking they maybe had longterm side effects? Either way, I'll find out... It must be in the blood

I know the feeling...This is probably not a good suggestion, but do like me: Now that I'm in my more anti-social state, and don't like to be around people much anymore, everytime there's a social event of the sort, I go, check it out, grab some food, and if I like the people/find someone to talk to I stay. If not, Oh well, at least I got the free food and just leave with a full stomach

ALSO, I'd like to add that I'm having the hardest time ever falling asleep. Even when I go to bed late and wake up early on purpose just so the following day I can go to sleep early... It doesn't work! This doesn't help the moodiness either... Cause even when I try to act like I'm happy, I have a hard time with my eyes half closed and my forehead skin and eyebrows feeling all heavy and stuff...

I dunno about the rest of the description (I'd have to see it to know for sure what you meant), but I think girls with thick nerd glasses are actually kind of cute... Well, very cute. Well... not really. He's probably kinda shy around attractive girls or something... I mean, what happened to him has happened to me as well. Especially when I'm like deeply daydreaming, and suddenly I see a good-looking girl looking at me. It takes me by surprise and kinda embarrasses me and makes me feel all clumsy.

How do you explain the moodiness then? I mean, I used to see many more misfits, angry/moody people in High school. Now in college, it's like there are none (well, besides me....). It sucks, cause such a short time ago, I was such an upbeat person, and I loved to be around people. Now I can't stand it, it's like I just feel like hiding below a rock and not going out ever. It's like I used to look back and laugh at how moody I was 2-3 years before, seeing that things weren't so bad... At least not bad enough for me to feel so angry. Now, instead, I am just as moody as I was 2-3 years ago instead, even though ideally things aren't THAT bad either... It sucks, and I can't enjoy what I used to enjoy like this...

But why? Is there a logical reason to this? Or is it just cause it's the way you subconsciously think the "ritual" should be performed? Yes, I have been saying this as well. Just that women shouldn't be a prize to the guy who gets his act together and asks her out the best... It should be just people dealing with people. And also, those signs I thought I saw were the typical signs all girls supposedly give off when they like someone: the giggling, and for shy girls: the acting a little nervous, and stuff, staring constantly. All those cliches. I learned that in the end it's better not to stress out and read into things, and just go ahead and ask the girl out. Many will say no, but one is bound to say yes in the entire world. So I'm sayin for the original poster who's having trouble meeting the type of guy she likes who just happens to be introverted: Her chances will be better if she makes it obvious. And what is more obvious than asking him out? If you start dropping all those little signs you might confuse him. I mean what if he misreads the signals? What if he doubts them (and lets not get into the "Then they're insecure so they're not good enough" argument... I mean, what? so guys aren't allowed to be insecure? If they are they'll die alone without having been on a single date in their life? So they're not guys anymore, then? Plus, if they're so shy, they're most likely gonna be at least a little bit insecure, at least when it comes to dating and love). Anyway, I'm not saying that I'm just gonna sit on my butt and wait for a girl to ask ME out cause I know it ain't gonna happen. I'm just sayin that if a girl liked me and I didn't even know she existed, what could I do? I mean, I would ask her out if I knew, but what if I don't? Is she gonna have to throw me a spit ball from the back row for me to notice her staring and smiling? Cause I think that would do her more harm than good when it comes to her making me be friendly to her. What If I already know the girl? In high school i had plenty friends who were girls who were VERY flirty. And we played like that, jokingly flirting with each other. It didn't mean they liked me, and I know it for a fact. I mean, Ok, I agree with you Batya... The way you say it should be is the way it should be... I mean, it's tradition, how it's always been done. But if she wants a certain type of guy to date her, she's gonna have to work for it. And it's gonna be a little harder than when dealing with the more extroverted types who do actually read signals and have more confidence in what they read. Just what I think... I mean, she's probably a good looking girl... She shouldn't have to settle for the type of guy she doesn't like when she could pretty easily get the type she does like to date her. And chances are that if she keeps trying she will hit the jackpot.

But how is the guy supposed to guess? I mean, I consider myself decent-looking, yet that's not nearly all it takes for a girl to like me. I get rejected a lot, even by girls I THOUGHT were interested in me(and was pretty sure they did, but I guess I was really wrong then). lol. So, it's just a matter of trying and trying till it works. And I'm gonna stop trying to look at signs, cause all it's done to me is waste my time. I mean, let's be frank here: It's much much more rare for a girl to be interested in a guy before the guy is interested in the girl. Reason being, the majority of guys are more visual-oriented, probably. I don't really know the reason, ok? It's just what I've observed over the years. And you don't hear girls talking about guys unless they look like Brad Pitt when he was younger (first example that came to my mind... You fill in the blank if I'm wrong). As for the rest: girls like more qualities that are not visible at first sight (but they might be move visible on a first date as they get to know each other). Ideally it shouldn't matter who makes the initiative. BUT, as the original poster said: She keeps getting asked out by the guys she doesn't like, who presumably don't have a hard time asking a girl out and they do all the asking out and get on more dates than the shy guys, BUT it is mostly because they try A LOT more, so chances of them getting a date are logically greater, because the more you shoot at a target, the more chances you'll have of hitting it in the center. The shy guy, in turn will keep looking for signs and wasting time. It'll take a lot longer for the shy guy to hit the target, cause he tries a lot less often. There's no magical force that says "Shy guy asks the right girl and they live happily ever after". It's still as much a matter of hit or miss as it is with the regular guy, who will miss a lot more cause he tries a lot more, but will also hit a lot more. As for the first month thing: If either one of the people in the couple does ALL the asking, then it's because the other one is not genuinely interested. The way I see it: The guy might ask the girl out, but she has to call him back if she really wants to go out again. Otherwise if the guy has to be the one doing all the calling, it's cause the girl doesn't wanna really be with him... It's what I think. Same thing vice-versa. I typed this up in a hurry, so I hope it made sense... And I might be wrong then as well, lol. Best wishes.

I thought that was 15 for guys and like late 20s for women... Oh well, maybe I'm wrong or confused by all the peole saying in movies "He's as horny as a 15 year old" and things of the sort... I guess I should get bloodwork done... I haven't gotten it done for like a year. I will go ASAP. But what type of specialist do I see about the results? An endocrinologist as well?

Hopefully this is not a serious problem: Ok, I remember when I was 13-15. I was moody like 24/7, and things were just so hard... It was that famous "emotional rollercoaster", plus all the maturing and stuff. I thought about sex like 24/7 too... Anyway, by the time I was on the second half of my 16th year on this world, it was already a different story. I mean, by that time I wasn't moody like that, and things were different. I was overall pretty happy, because of a huge improvement in my life (yeah, I moved and changed schools, and this was a very welcome change to me). And I mean I thought I was way past puberty already, cause I had changed a lot already, and it looked like all the changes had slowed down. And I didn't think about sex much anymore, to be honest. The only thing was that especially in the first half of my 18th year, I was pretty much a huge goof, kinda immature at times as if I was 15 (but I wasn't like that AT ALL when I was 15, lol), but I wasn't moody. I thought I was done with all the changing already. Well, I guess it wasn't really the case... I mean, now I'm feeling just like I did when I was 15... In all aspects! I keep getting... even furrier, lol, and uh, yes I think about sex all the time... again. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not ALL I want, but I wish it didn't cloud my thoughts when it comes to approaching girls... I mean, especially when I was approaching a girl I really liked, it was the last thing on my mind. Now it's uninevitably there in my head all the time! I mean, is there something wrong with me? I liked who I used to be 6 months ago... It felt as if I was ever to discover some sort of fountain of youth, that would've been the perfect time to do it... Now I'm starting to think that this kind of youth is not so good anymore... Also, there were things I used to enjoy doing back then... There was music I listened to that made me feel upbeat. Now either it doesn't, or it just makes me plain angry, but I can't stop listening... It's so weird and I want this to stop. Could it be some sort of depression? OR... ever since I was like 13, an endocrinologist found a small problem with my thyroid gland... Thus I was very overweight back then... I started taking some prescription and lost a ton of weight, but still wasn't quite close to my healthy weight. Then I gained some weight. I visited a new doctor when I was 17 (over a year ago) already, and he gave me a diet plan, and told me I could stop taking that prescription... I lost a ton of weight again, and I'm in the healthiest weight I've ever been since I was like 8, lol (back then I was in my ideal weight, now I'm only about 10-15 lbs away and counting down, thank God). My question is: Could it have anything to do with that prescription I had been taking since I was 13 that maybe it messed up my puberty? I dunno, I'm pretty confused. For professional help: Should I visit a therapist/psychologist, or an endocrinologist? Please help...

Couldn't agree more, lol.