meant_to_love

Ahhh! ..Thats sweet. Im in my second relationship with my boyfriend of three months, he has told me how much i mean to him and he doesnt know what his life would be like without me.. we both told eachother we loved eachother after one week.. amazing considering in my first relationship we neved mentioned love and after five months we broke up. I seriously think I might want to marry my boyfriend someday. You could give her a wrapped single rose in babys breath(little white flowers.) It was a surprise for our one month anniversary.. and lets say it put a big smile on my face so im sure your girlfriend would really like it! Best wishes.. I hope things keep looking up for both of u!

What a Beautiful Poem!! it reminds me of my ex and I. Thanks for sharing it. : )

Well I was 18 when I fell for my ex-boyfriend who was 16 at the time. However HE deceded he was too immature for me and left and broke my heart.. so yeah maybe Its bad I fall for the younger guys.. whom most arent looking for anything serious at their age. : /

My first boyfriend and I broke up six months ago.. thats a lonnnng time really. But the hurt and pain is still fresh like an open wound on my heart that wont heal. During the day I try to lead a normal life and hiding my depression, try to forget it. At night though its weird my feelings are magnified.. I have time to think stupid thoughts and "feel" alone and miss him and feel hurt and confused. Sometimes I drive to some deserted parking lot after my evening college classes and listen to music and just ball my eyes out. (Love and heartbreak can make you unhealthy and crazy like never before) But the next morning I go about my business of work, school, etc. and pretend Im not dying inside. tears*sigh* : ( I miss my smile.

Thanks.. Stinkweed! lol : )

Im a 19 year old girl. I use to be like 100% shy in high school and now Im about 50% shy and 50% outgoing and in my second year of college. (I lost a lot of weight these last few years and also gained more friends/social experience through working at jobs) I guess I have a really attractive and cute face. Im short and I look a couple years younger than I am. I get hit on a lot by guys(not the kind i care for), and it really annoys me. Im also a very friendly girl to everyone which way be a problem cause guys think maybe I like them back when Im just being my nice myself. When I get all quiet sometimes they think there is something wrong or maybe Im stuck up who knows, and they dont understand thats just the introverted person coming out who Ive been most of my life. The kind of guys I like dont ever approach me. I like the cute, quiet, mysterious, sensitive and intellectual guys kinda like my former self. I also like younger guys and it hard to find any that arent immature. Ive only had one boyfriend he was 16 when i was 18.. and I thought he was wonderful even though he convinced me had personal problems and left the relationship just as I thought it was going good and it left me deeply sad and hurt. ...But I even had to first ask him out back then. I use to not have any guy friends which is kinda weird.. but now I have quite a few.. I just dont find myself stirred by any of them. I guess Im wondering how I get the kind of guy I like to approach me? Will they? Or do you think I intimidate them? Or am I doomed to be asking them out even though its hard when Im still kinda shy.

Humm I was shy in high school so ill try and help you out. Maybe glancing at you A lot from a distance and hoping that one time you'll catch her doing it. If you get the chance to talk to her she might smile and blush a lot (if you are even remotely funny or flirty) and might look at you real deeply for a sec and then turn to the ground or away from your gaze but is still smiling when she looks away. She looks for chances to just be around you.

Wow!.. Great poem! I loved it! : ) Made me think real deeply about those questions and the decisions me all make between them..

Its great that you can write out those deep feelings and thoughts. It just takes some learning to love, accept, improve and just be free to be Yourself. : ) Try not to compare. humm.. i like the cute, bright-eyed, soft, slender, boyish men type myself... however they have to have so many more important inner qualities too that brave through that exterior. But, thats Just Me, so you see?

Oh my..that poem was beautiful. You are beautiful. : )

If you read all of these Ill be impressed. lol I wrote these all within the last six months or so. During a time I had ups and downs. I cant remember the exact order I wrote them. Some are soully about myself, some relate to my breakup with my first and only ex-boyfriend, some relate to other guys, some are about my place in/view of the world, etc. Some were written when i was calm, hopeful, and enlightened, some were written when I was crying, confused, disappointed, etc. So some are in a more positive light some in a negative light. Enjoy! If you want too comment it would be appreciated. : ) *Eternal Marathon* The gun sounds I look around I only start When I see you Take off beside me I cant strive alone Theres no race To a finish Just run WITH me.. Don't look behind Are shadows are Catching up to us Lets leave them In our dust this day We move forward Steady is our pace Just run WITH me.. Don't fall back Ill slow down too Lose my hope I just couldnt do Don't get infront of me Ill never catch you Even to block the wind It intimidates me Just run WITH me.. Air rushes past me Like seconds ticking by As Im spinning Around the track Please no more Circles anymore Lets veer off make our own path Journey together Just run WITH me.. When the sun's fiery Bears down Pay no attention To the sweat Running down your lip I only see and feel Your smile Your eyes Focused ahead Just run WITH me.. To the rhythm Of our pounding feet My heart races Faster and faster When I Cant Catch my breathe You fill my lungs I can go forever now Your strength is mine Running THROUGH me.. *The Blue Lagoon* Been living for some time Stranded on an island Starving to death Searching Found a lovely fruit Picked it for fulfillment Artificial it was It satisfied me I was deceived Its resource Came to an end Left with a sharp pain Hunger again Scared For what I might Reach for next Will it nourish me Or supply me Empty value again Scared For what I might Reach for next But Im reaching.. So tie me to This boat Ive made Float me away Give me no choice To pick wrong or right Let me be Swallowed by the sea Starving Searching Scared My only hope Rescuing me *Excess Thoughts* When your alone Your thoughts are yours No one can steal them No one can swap them No one can mistake them Happy They're all yours You don't have to share them But its greed you've invited for company And it gives you a gift The burden of excess When your lonely Your thoughts are yours No one can swipe the tears No one can replace the fears No one can take them up in their arms Sad They're only yours You don't have anyone to share them with But its waste you've invited for company And it gives you a gift The burden of excess *Who* Who are you love? Who walked in the store? Who did I meet? Who did I fall for? Who gave me butterflies? Who picked me up at the door? Who made a costume? Who wrote me a note? Who taught me math? Who gave me that wink? Who opened up to me? Who bought me flowers? Who texted me goodnight? Who shared with me music? Who gave me my favorite necklace? Who made me happy? Who taught me so much? Who made me laugh? Who drove me around? Who told me their dreams? Who gave me my first kiss? Who held me in their arms? Who broke my heart? Who made me grieve? Who wont talk to me? Who do I love still? Who do I miss? Who are you ex-love? Do I know you? *Unorganized Dotes of Love* Brush back my hair Whisper in my ear Tell me a secret Ill never tell dear When we are apart Blow me a kiss When the distance stretches are lips to miss Reach for my hands Lock with my eyes Bare open your soul Feed me no lies Declare a surprise waiting flash your clever smile Don't give a clue Leave me guessing awhile Listening to my heart beating on your chest its sleeps softly against your calm cushion rest String together a line Pick me a flower Words have some meaning But actions have power Wear your own beliefs pack an open mind hold steady but know change you can *The Confusion* Ill say anything now just need you around babble like a fool chase you farther but I dont know what to do crazy over losing someone cant see your face the one I could always trace always have a home in my heart my heart is vacant for everything you did and didnt do you are forgiven I miss you If you were ever mistaken im sorry I believe in you through what you shown upon me If something out there stole you away I hope you'll return someday Its hurts now that your away not an accusation but rather not knowing whether you fed me lies or hid the truth ever loved me like I had in me for you I just want you The you.. no one but me knows of.. I knew.. *Rejecting You* You offer up everything Whats NOT on sale? a salesman you try to convince everythings right for me You sell yourself short There is nothing their I see Nothing to buy for keeps Ill earn enough for what I really want one day Im sorry to say Im have nothing of me to spare you As harsh as it seems *Outcasts* So I came to love insanity As I found out only the sane are liars Their faking everything, faking who we are outcasts in the polluted streets Willowing down in our own defeat The world today we made is no longer a place I want to be The lonely ones know but we have run into hiding Im ashamed of ourselves when we cannot speak No way to unite the last true minds, we weep Give me the stars on a hill in silence And come all you to reveal whats left, down deep Past the hollow cavities, inside you and me *Fighter* Some fight with violence An ugly appliance Others fight with beauty Against a beast in compliance A fist of a fool Knows not of Our most powerful tool Or are weakest weapon Our Minds Blood be shed through the tearing Of our skin But closed minds too Wheres our blood thin *Picture This* I never did see it Till I turned it upside down You think you know the right way Its always suppose to go But oh no no oh no no Nothing was all you ever saw When that's all you chose to know Keep searching for your answer This way isn't working *Souls Divide Among The Land* Im sitting on this side of the bars For sometimes Im afraid I see you on the otherside And sometimes I put one leg over and teeter I can only reach so far accross To try and pull you back over But maybe Im wrong Being the one who's stuck here Either way Im confused They say to step over is the crime But I see it over here all the time Whats the difference There is good and evil in both lands And I see you roaming free A soul rejected on the fringe Without benefits of "normal" society In a different kind of happily played misery Where do I wanna be They wont let me choose So Im still dangling here on the edge Between everything I wish we were birds but I wouldnt perch here The land would be one And we would all be beautiful creatures *First Love* My beautiful butterfly Your wings glided so freely A creature I longed to be One day you came by me A flutter of color Against my pale sky You just so happened to catch my lonely eye All say I only bloomed for you If you'll let me dear I was the brightest color Cause you were my inspiration When you landed so softly On my delicate surface I was afraid But not for long You sang me a song in butterfly silence I wanted to smile But your song was sad You stayed a while And told me secrets Of a journey And I listened You told me I was beautiful But did I forget to tell you the same you were rubbed the wrong way but you are never to blame You hadnt expected to stay So one day you left And that was when I slowly wilted away I lost my love Before a cruel summer Miss the soothing rain Where we had blown about and played I lost sight of you Your glow, your presense I lost sight of myself I plucked my petals for existence I just couldn't bear the element of pain But is my heart wise or mistaken To find a love like you again

Yeah this is long but I need to share and would like anyone's opinions/thoughts.. Well i am a courtesy clerk/bagger at a grocery store. I've worked their a year. Ok so I got to work with the new hiree we will call him G whos first day was on Friday. It was me, G and three other guy courtesy clerks working. He is about my age cause I found out he is a freshman in college at a local community college (not the one I go to). I went into the store's office a couple weeks ago and he was in there getting interviewed. At first glance I thought he was really cute.. so I was excited when the new guy turned out to be him. In my opinion he isnt really the type of guy that girls would go for. He is cute in a little bit of a dorky way and he is really thin, but I actually kinda like thin guys. I am a pretty independent and shy girl myself and ive never had a boyfriend before. I would say I'm pretty attractive cause guys kinda hit on me. Although I use to be chubby so i havent always felt good about my looks. So that isnt really a problem. Sometimes I try to act more outgoing and confident than I really am. I guess to cover up my shyness or work on my shyness? I started to tell G what he could do and where stuff was, etc. because he was kinda lost on his first day. Usually Im a big mumbler and am pretty quiet, reserved. But instead I was talkative and asked G some questions cause I wanted him get to know him a little and make him feel welcome. We kept kinda exchanging smiles while we were working, I couldnt help it and oh my gosh he has a really cute dimple! lol So anyways he mumbled his answers a lot, and paused a long time when i asked him a simple question like what classes he was taking and one time he looked kinda nervous and swallowed. I really hope I didnt go overboard with the guy. Im just worried I went to fast with everything, and came off as too outgoing or annoying lol. I mean it was his first day and I could sense he was a little anxious. I just wanted to try and help him and seem interested cause I am. I hope he doesnt see me as pushy or bossy or too forward. I probably freaked him out a little cause I know how from being shy myself, when your shy and in a new situation you can get that way. Maybe he isnt really that shy just nervous on his first day? Or do you think he might have felt intimidated by me? Any advice/thoughts/ or opinions would be appreciated..

This post may be a little off the matter.. but It gave me the idea/chance to right out some things and I guess I'll just share them. Being a shy girl myself for the most part, I'd like to give some of my input.. First off in response to other people's posts, my opinion: being shy doesn't mean you would rather stay at home and be alone, or that you dont like to joke around and have fun. I think my shyness has developed from a few things. To be honest I'm insecure a lot of times and worry a lot about what other people think of me, which I know I shouldn't. I am more of a quiet person naturally and am a better listener and tend to keep things to myself. When I was in middle school I was kinda chubby which gave me low self-esteem going into high school. I am a pretty sensitive person and have a guard up a lot of the time. I am 18 and out of high school now, more aware of who my true friends are, because I've wound up in a "wrong group of friends" a couple times in school. I have a job now in which I have to be more outgoing with customers and coworkers and that has really helped me. I still I still have never had a boyfriend or had anyone ask me out. I think I have had guys like me but they have never done anything about it or they were the creepy kind that hit on you like your a piece of meat. I did ask a guy from work to the Sadies dance but thats it, I dont know how I even got the nerve to do that. I have a lot of people ask why I dont have a boyfriend because I'm really cute, sweet, etc. In a group setting sometimes it is hard to join in, sometimes when you think of something, you feel rude if you but in when someone else is talking and then your chance to say something passes. Because I may not talk as much with the individuals in the group I may sometimes feel unapart of the subject at hand and feel more obscure. I love it when people almost ignore the fact that I'm shy and carry on with me like I'm not. Generally that makes me less shy. They probably know your shy but they dont comment about the fact or tease you or ask you dumblly why dont you talk or why are you so quiet cause that only makes you worse, more uneasy. When I am on the right comfort level with someone I can talk about just anything but thats rare. Well in school and at work if I like I guy this is how I act. I tend to be kinda quiet at first, I probably dont know them very well yet so I am just cautious, nervous, dont know what to talk about. This can lead others to think I'm stuck up, not interested, or just really boring I dont know.. In school I just glanced at them mostly, one time I really liked a guy and got to sit next to him. I never had to much trouble with eye contact. I would laugh and smile ALOT. I do this alot to cover up shyness or appear to be more open in general though. (If a guy I liked gave me any reason to laugh or smile I would.) If I'm not as chipper one day I am probably not having a good day or something is upsetting me between me and the guy. It is easier to flirt with someone who is more outgoing, funny, talkative than me but at the same time they are usually more intimidating. If I like a shy guy it is even harder because they might find me intimidating and I have to try the eniciating which is extra hard. They are hard to get a read on or flirt with cause they too open up slower. Also when I'm around a guy I like I will be talkative when they ask me something one minute and the next minute I will kind of clam up. Sometimes I feel like I have to keep things up and so I will ask some question, just so they wont be put off by my moment of quietness. lol If you like a shy girl dont give up on her unless she appears to have no return interest, avoids invitations,etc. If she likes you she will be really excited every time you approach her, even if she is speechless past the hi. I know I get more comfortable with people as time goes on. I recommend asking her to do something with you cause she probably wont eniciate(spell). If your still reading this.. hope I didnt bore you.. This was a great way for me to look into my own feelings and actions, sorry if you dont get anything out of this ramble.. good luck with your shy girl.

I want to get my coworker/friend something for his birthday. We work at a grocery store and he will be 19. We flirt a lot but he just wants to keep the work relationship we have. Any ideas please, anything...

Thanx for the coaching lol and encouragement.. well I leave for work in about twenty minutes at least all have four hours to think things through before he clocks on. I am a little tense cause so many things have to go right, like you said but i think I can do it. "J" and I dont have each others phone #'s or anything I guess I have to exchange if we do make plans. ahhh.. I hope I dont chicken out. But anyway, thanx again I might try your approach if the timing is right.