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just jeff

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  1. just jeff
    Something Funny I agree with you, keep her off balance... go with your gut... just my opinon.... good luck Jeff
  2. just jeff
    Deborah...... brovo!! I admire your strentgh and will... you're 100% right... best wishs... Jeff
  3. just jeff
    By the way, her cell number hasn't changed.... so two weeks to get a new one? hummm Jeff
  4. just jeff
    I am in the same boat. I began the no contact rule two weeks ago, after recieving an email telling me she has blocked all of my email addys (one work, one home) and was changing her cell phone number immediately. One week later she called at 10:45 pm, I was on my land based line and did not respond. Nor did I call her the next day. I recived a text today saying "I know you do not want to hear from me. It's a girl. I had to tell you." I did respond "Congatulations ~s~" She sent back "Thank You" How does she know I do not want to hear from her? I knew the baby would be a girl months ago. So why not a simple "Crystal had a girl."? I wish I knew... because when she does this it gets my hopes up that she has or is changing her mind... so is it a mind game? Or a second chance... if you find out.... let me know.... peace and happiness too you all.... Jeff
  5. just jeff
    What if your ex calls two weeks after telling you she's changed her cell phone number and your history? You don't respond and she texts you telling of a special event in her life? It's hard to separate this type of behavior... I am trying to move on and get these little bits and pieces? I suggest letting the dumper contact you... otherwise you could be hurting all over agian if thier feelings haven't changed... just my two cents Jeff
  6. just jeff
    While I agree with much of what you're stating I also agree with Ziggy, each case is different. Most of the time there is fault in both parties, in some form or the other. I am moving on, I have so much to be thankful for each day. I haven't given up hope that my ex will eventually be with me. I love her but do not need her to be happy. We just brought additional happiness into each others lives. Life sometimes has a way of burdening you down to the point you loose focus on whats really important and you take someone for grated. Thats the first mistake in a breakup. Thanks for letting me vent some, Jeff
  7. just jeff
    Thanks people, I was in shock when I received the text. Before anyone replied I sent "Congratulations ~s~" the sent "thank you". She had already told me is was supposed to be a girl... so that and the fact she said she knows I do not want her to contact me through me off. It would have shown less than good character if I hadn't responded. Thank you for support... this site is my crutch getting through the day... Jeff
  8. just jeff
    As you know I have not contacted my ex since reciveing her email 2 weeks ago. She called Sunday night but I did not answer my cell. Just now I get a text saying "i know you do not want to hear from me. but it's a girl. i had to let you know." She is refuring to her new grand-daughter. I wanted to text back "Congratulations" But I am lost as to what to do. If I do anything how will she take it? That I am uncaring if I do not respond? Or if I do that I am still on the string? Jeff
  9. just jeff
    I understand your postition, and I wish you the best of luck. I am much older and experianced in life; but the fact of the matter it can happen to anyone at anytime. People change over time and their values also change. Be strong and think of yourself first... I know its hard, but it's all you can really do now until she shows otherwise. Best of luck... Jeff
  10. just jeff
    S&D, I feel for you.... in many ways our stories are simular. If I were you I would do the no contact until she shows signs of being honest and serious... we are talking about two lives here... if she's playing mind games it's dangerous... the hurt can ruin your life if you allow it... whatever you do... good luck and best wishes... be strong... Jeff
  11. just jeff
    [i mean what have you done to show this girl that you want her in your life? You told her no to marriage... you drove her away... you refused to chase... and now you are refusing to answer or return her calls. If she DOES love you, what hope have you given her? Look at it from her perspective. If you can say honestly that you tried to work things out... you gave her all the signals to say you were interested, and that you've worked past your committment fear, then you are doing the right thing. If you haven't... well then... I guess I can see where she is coming from.] Long story... what have I done to show her I love her? Well I am in the final stage of a divorce (31 years that should have ended 10 years ago). We had argeed to stay in our marriages until our children were grown; big mistake. Her divorce was final in Dec 03, mine will be by the end of this month. So one-half of my retirement, stock, stock options and accounts.... We were both married to others when she asked me to marry her, I wouldn't do something illegel. I didn't know about the other man until it was too late. She said since I had betrayed her love early on as far as she's concerned we were over. She has called almost every night for a month.... not really talking about us or him... I was trying to keep the door open... She has went back and forth... I know she is confussed and I thought no contact would allow her to make up her mind, plus allow me to get over the pain. We are adults and act like teenagers at time. I am moving on with or without her... as hard as it is to do... I can not continue to sit in limbo... I now have the second half of my life to live... and I am not going to blow it...
  12. just jeff
    If she wanted to play games with my mind she has. Now a dozen thoughts have went through my brain. Did she call to make up? Did she call to tell me bad news about her family? Did she call just to hear my voice and see if I was ok? Why didn't she leave a message? It's all I can do not to text or call to ask why.... is this normal? Should I do that or continue no contact? Damn I hate these games or relationships... one thing I do know... she is still in love with me and afraid to admit it... Jeff
  13. just jeff
    Thank you for the advice; and yes she is very confused. I was her "walking perfection" until I backed off because of situations in life. She asked if I had slept with someone else 5 years ago, right after we met. And like a fool I admitted it, because at that place and time we were not commited. So for 5 years we met 3-4 times a year and were together for 2-3 days; it was like a honeymoon each time. She asked me to marry her, I got cold feet and didn't. My career was important to me and I looked the other way thinking she would always be there... I took her for granted. I have changed drasticlly in the past 6 months; I know how to separate work from life, and I know now if there was ever two people meant to be together it is her and I. I think she's running and wants a safe relationship... one that she can control. I am just confused why she called... I didn't want to hear "oh, I am sorry. I pressed the wrong number...." click... or "wanted to see how you're doing... later" So maybe I am a coward... not my nature I can assure you... I am just trying to move on with my life and if she is in it I would be in heaven... it would take a fresh start.... but I am not going to be a plaything... She isn't going to have her cake and eat it too... no more games.... life is too short... but I do love her more than life it's self... Thanks, Jeff
  14. just jeff
    I wish I had wise advice to give you, unfortunetlly I don't. But I can tell you that love and a broken heart doesn't know age. I am 53 and my ex is 46; it can happen to anyone at any age. But here I can read and get input into my situation, even if I don't post I feel better coming here. I too messed up my perfect relationship; she thought I hung the moon and was walking perfection. I would give the world to take back the pain I have caused her, which in turn made her hurt me. Have faith, but do not be a doormat; you're more valuable than to let that happen. Good luck in both life and love. Jeff
  15. just jeff
    As most of you know I received an email from my ex one week ago Sunday stating that her and I are finished; she was changing her cell phone number immediatlly and was "in" love with another man. I haven't tried to contact her in any way, text, phone or email since Sunday, May 1st. I feel the man she thinks she's in love with is a rebound. Last night I was on my land based phone when she called my cell. I didn't answer; I continued talking to my friend. When we hung up I checked the cell. No message but she hadn't changed her number. I didn't bother responding in any way, shape or form. We both visited two chat rooms, since last Sunday I have peeked in once or twice (not under my nickname) and she's there... why would she tell me what she did in the email and yet make herself known too me? I didn't return her call because I didn't want her to say she just called to see how I was. I would appriciate any input to my situation. Thanks, Jeff
  16. just jeff
    Everything in life happens for a purpose; I believe this has happened for a purpose although I am not aware of what the purpose is. She likes to play it safe, this new relationship is just that; safe. I will not track her, or plot my next move. I am using no contact; besides she lives 600 miles away from me. Absense makes the heart grow fonder or allows it to forget, in this case she will never be able to forget me/us. I will date, exercise and keep generally occupided, but if there is contact... it will be her contacting me. The silly thing is, I have her home phone and work phone... she knows this... she still has all of mine, changing her cell number was for her sake (if she really is; i think its smoke and mirrors). But thank you for the input, and I hope your relationship works out as it was intended. Jeff
  17. just jeff
    I received this email from the woman who is the love of my life. She had called me almost everyday for the past 3-4 months... at all hours... she told me he is not me... there will never be another me... please advise and encourage me in the right direction... Jeff, I am going to try and write this withour getting long and boring and I know you will be hurt and angry and for that i am sorry , but I can not longer do this . You made mention not to long agon that I never send you cards or emails, or call as often as I use to. We both know the reason why. I have been doing a lot of thinking this last week. It has become clear to me that you are a part of my past. Bad or good thats where you are. I am not blaming you for anything nor will I blame myself,,life is just what it is. I am saying Goodbye for the last time. I have blocked all emails,,I am having my cell number changed immediately. I am going to fade away. I am sure you are wanting a reason. You know the reason in your heart. I am in love with another man,,as hard as I tried to let it go , I simply can not. I wish you all the best that life has to offer. It would be better if you hated me now. I have wanted to write this email for days now. This is the day. Goodbye, N
  18. just jeff
    Good point Hannibal; my ex has told me the same things. She said he doesn't take her where I did, and even that she loved me more. She says "he's not better... just different". Maybe it's standard fair for the ex to tell us these things thinking it will make us feel better. I just don't know... I know she loves me to death, but I hurt her and she can't get past the pain. Anyway, thats my thoughts; at least I have found a place to vent my feelings... thank god!
  19. just jeff
    I think you're totally right, the advantage always goes to the dumper and the dumpee has to figure out how they are to move on… alone. I am by nature an optimist, so I want to believe she return and realize our love was a true love. But now to work on myself… not for her, but for me. I do not know how I will continue in life now, she was that mush a part of me. I wish her the best in her new relationship… she knows in her heart it isn't what she is making it out to be… but it's a safe relationship… I just need to use NC and see what happens… it's just like a part of me is dead… I wish you all the best in the world….
  20. just jeff
    I want to give up actually... move on but I don't seem to know how. Is there any advice on how to heal the pain and hurt? I have lost 45 pounds and changed drasticlly over the past 4-5 months... any advice or help would be appreciated.
  21. just jeff
    Well.... what a difference a day or two makes. I received an email last night stating she's in love with another man and has to end it here and now with me. She says she is additiced to my voice and looks, that I take her where no man has or will take her again. She says she is blocking all emails and changing her cell number, so I am applying the no contact rule as of yesterday. Life is too short to play games or spending it chasing after someone who doesn't want you anymore. Wish me luck, it hurt's like hell... I have to go on and I am not sure where to start.... We've had this conversation before and I begged and pleaded... but no more...
  22. just jeff
    I wish I had found this site month's ago; I would have behaved in a totally different manner when my ex ended it. I was the begging, pleading, give me/us another chance kind of guy and it pushed her away… We have said goodbye/hello a hundred times, telling each other too move on with our lives. Each time we said goodbye, we always found away to say hello. In the past few weeks unknowingly I was doing a modified version of the no contact rule. She would text message me or call. She calls me almost every night now… I know she is still deeply in love with me, as I am deeply in love with her. We are older than most people here, she's 46 and I am 53. We are meeting in a few weeks; she is flying here, no promises and no commitments. Two years ago she asked me to marry her, I skirted the issue (can't explain why here… extremely complicated). If you do find true love/soul mate do not let anything separate you… do not wait for life to come too you… I just wanted to come out of the shadows and say thank you for the advice and guidance I've received here. I hope all your dreams and loves are fulfilled.
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