cranberry

My parents don't think "I'm ready" to go for my road test. They think I need to practice more in "traffic"--I agree, but when we drive together (if I drive, my dad is in the passenger seat) it's always the same routes. This has been going for 8 months. They use "getting my license" to threaten me when we get in arguments. Like they say "you won't be able to drive anywhere for a week" if you keep this attitude up. What's the point though of taking away my so called "driving-privileges" because I'm not getting anywhere. At this rate I will never get my license. I don't know anyone who has parents like mine when it comes to driving. I know people who are like three years younger then me and they have their own car and license. Can anyone else relate? When I drive my dad is so picky and it drives me crazy! He makes me feel like I am the worst driver but I don't think I am that bad. I think he uses it as a way to control me because he has nothing else to discipline me in.

How many other guys does she make an effort to talk to--like she does to you? If it seems that you are the only one that she does that to, then she might like you.

Yeah! I made it to the last line. Well, it definitely sounds like you reaallly like this girl. And I have to agree that making her a pie (especially a pie that tastes good) was very sweet of you. I think she knows that you like her. A guy just doesn't make a girl a pie for her birthday...if a guy bakes you a pie then he obviously likes you. I can't tell if she likes you back but she must at least care for you as a friend. If she didn't like you at all--as a friend or anything--she wouldn't have given you that second hug. If she likes you I think she would flirt with you at least a little bit. Does she at all?

Hey club33, I can relate to what you are saying. Like you, I consider myself semi-pretty I guess but not popular-kind-of-pretty. In highschool, I knew a few "popular" guys liked me and I wondered why too. I remember in my senior year, one popular guy got in a fight/argument with his popular female friend and so they stopped speaking to each other for a while. And then it was like he suddenly noticed me--even though I had some classes with him before. Maybe it's because you are more sweet & kind than those popular girls--who tend not to be so sweet if you know what I mean.

There is this guy at my work that stares at me during his whole break while he eats. He sits at a little table in the back, on the second floor/balcony. It doesn't exactly creep me out since he is kind of around my age, I'd guess 21 or 22. And he is cute. His coworker sometimes sits there too, at a different time, and just casually sits there--puts his arm on the chair beside him and just stares. But I don't know. What do I do? I never see him except when he is there. Do any of you guys here do that?

Well he did say it kind of loud, it's just that I wasn't sure if he was talking to me so I didn't say anything...I know I'm very stupid around guys. I'm going to try and casually say hello to him next time I pass him by or something like that. Because like you said I don't have to like him to talk to him, I just want to talk to him. Here's what happened today...kind of interesting. I was approaching the breakroom door while he was opening it from the other side and we almost bumped into each other. He held it open for me quickly but that could have just been an automatic thing. We looked each other in the eyes and whoa, his eyes were very dilated. So maybe this is evidence for that "dilated eye theory"...

summer girl: This girl just wants a boyfriend because she's lonely/doesn't want to be single. She wants you because she thinks since she dated you before, you still must like her at least a bit. She can't even talk to you to your face. If she liked you that much, she wouldn't do it through your friend, she would eventually talk with you/hint with you about it. She sounds immature to me. You said yourself you don't want to get back together with her, so don't. The other girl: Your right this girl has treated you like dirt pretty much. From the sounds of it, when this girl said she wanted to date other ppl well dating you, It meant she wants to keep all her options open, and that she likes several guys. i.e., that other guy as it turned out. I don't think very much of their change of hearts. Sure, they may feel like they really have one but until the better guy (no offense) comes along, the "treating like crap" will happen again. Hope I helped.

Thanks for the responses. Here's what I didn't include before. Last night, he came by our department while we were all busy. Nobody else noticed him, we made eye contact, then he said something but I didn't hear what he said. He started looking all around so I wasn't even sure who he was talking to...so I just kept on cleaning. Then he stands there for a couple sec, looking kinda mad like he was waiting for something, then he left. As he left, I kinda yelled after him, "Were you looking for _____?" And he's like "NO!"--in a far from nice tone, & with a little bit of attitude. Later I found out he was just volunteering to take out our garbage (he does that sometimes). Geez, it's not my fault if I couldn't hear what you say. He only gets weird/kinda hostile around me. And he's not a shy person at all--he's actually kinda loud. I will never understand...sigh. I don't have a crush on him so I don't know why I keep thinking about this.

He tells someone that he thinks I'm cute. I say I don't really know him. I never really noticed him before but then I start to. He stares at me A LOT (from a distance). Sometimes he would kind of smile when he did it. Yet whenever he'd be around me, he would completely ignore me. I tell someone to casually mention that I think he's cute. Now he STOPS staring at me and still ignores me. What?!?

This describes exactly what is happening to me. In one of my classes of about 400, two guys always seem to find me and sit a seat away from me and then just stare and look away. They always enter and leave from my side of the row (even though it is easier to go the other way) and I have to move my legs so they can get by. I don't know what kind of "flirting" this is but I agree that it sure is distracting.

Maybe the reason more girls don't chat up guys is because how do we know whether or not the guy is just going along with it or if he did really like the girl in the first place? When a guy approaches me first, I take it as a sign that he likes me (attracted to me, etc) and I admire his confidence to overcome his nervousness (I presume he had) to come and talk to me.

Or are you just going to stare at her for the rest of her life (from a distance) and then when you pass/walk by her, you'll look away. I'm asking because there is this guy at my work that does this to me.

Hey thanks for the replies so far. Some good advice. Yeah I know what you mean. After I got a new job in customer service it's a lot better now. It's not that it was really bad in the first place. I could do speeches/presentations for school practically with no sweat. Maybe it's more of a self-confidence issue for me then. Guess I'll have to go to mexico, then, lol--no seriously, something like that I think is a good idea. red12, if she talks to everyone else and not you, then it could be a sign that she likes you. If you're talking to her and she looks you in the eye for a majority of the time, that's another sign. I did the same thing with this guy I used to like at my work. He'd talk to me just talking about whatever and I couldn't talk back, well barely. It was like I was a mute or something. I would just stare at him while he was talking,

Hey, I was just wondering b/c I'm a shy girl who's never had a boyfriend before. Did your boyfriend first approach you to "ask you out"...?

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Hey, Originally I had written quite a long reply and then when I clicked submit my computer exited the internet. Anyway...the second time around... I had a crush on this guy at my work for the longest time. He would never flirt with me but he would stare at me (from a distance). We never really saw each other that much but when we had break together (coincidentally since we work in diff departments) I would be smiling like crazy since he has such a good sense of humour without even trying. At the same time though, I still talked to other guys at work who kinda flirt and have little crushes on them as well but not the same kind of crush as I had the other guy. So I know what your feeling and talking about. (Ironically, now that I have just gotten over this guy we have been seeing each other more and more on break and he even starts to say hi to me now. Man, if only this were happening before when I did "like" him.) This is going to sound kinda lame but even today I have an example. Today at work some guy (who also works there) came to my department for something and we were really busy and I told him I would help him in a sec but then I had to run and do something else and when I looked back at him, it's like he knew that I was swamped/stressed out and he gave me the nicest smile...And it gave me a really good feeling and now I kinda have a teeny crush or beginning of one on him, lol. About the guy in your band and when he touched you, I think guys just naturally touch those they feel comfortable around. And they like to be physical--I mean in this case, giving hugs...stuff like that. I think he was just looking for the chance to touch a girl he likes and being casual about it at the same time. And lastly I know this isn't what you were asking about but I think you should at least consider keeping your options open. Sure Jordan is a great/ideal guy but the guy in your band also sounds like a great guy--You could be missing out if you close all your doors. -cranberry

Hey, Ideas to Break the Ice: - You could ask her if she knows the time. (Check to see if she's wearing a watch beforehand perhaps). And after she gives it, Smile, look her in the eyes, & say thanks. I know this won't lead to much more unless you take more iniative but at least this way you are breaking the ice a little bit. - You could pretend you know her from somewhere. Then say "Oh, What's your name? Oh...ok...sorry about that you just looked so familiar", or say something like "Do you have a sister/brother named ____?"...and go from there.

I just wanted to thank you guys for all your honest replies. Because that is what I wanted to read--honest replies. Thanks again, cranberry

I do not think that sex is a shameful thing. I just think it should have value and be treasured for a married couple. I've learned that God designed sex for within the commitment of a lifelong relationship. And that it bonds two people physically, emotionally, and mentally closer than they ever should be (unless they're married). I understand that I am a sexually wired being (as is any other human being) and that I have emotions, hormones, and my heart sometimes telling me otherwise. Telling me that it is ok to express my love to someone I care about by having sex yet not getting married. Seriously, that lifestyle does sound appealing. But what's set in my mind--the Holy word, so to speak--is what I choose to follow. If I did have premarital sex I think the guilt would devestate me. I know waiting isn't practical in today's society and thus choosing this route is going to be torturous (but only if I let it be so). But I think it is worth it. If my future husband respects my decision then to me that proves just how strong his love for me is. (If he--a boyfriend--got it from someone else while he was seeing me then I guess he didn't really care for me. How could a guy say that he cares enough for a girl to respect her decision and then cheat on her? If he cheats on her then how is that showing he cares for her? This is a risk I will just have to take.) Worrying about being sexually incompatible with my spouse after we get married never really occurred to me. Don't we then have our whole lives to improve our sex life and practise? And wouldn't our marriage be stronger than that since a majority of it is built on a non-sex relationship? And about marrying young and being unexperienced. There is a difference between marrying for true love or marrying for lust. I think when I choose to make a lifelong commitment to my spouse--get married--I will hopefully know the difference. One more thing, I am not trying to preach here. I am just telling you my personal belief about why I am choosing to wait. I definitely do not frown upon others who disagree with me--that is their choice, it's their lives, etc. Sexual purity (to me)--not going past 2nd base or putting myself in a situation where I may be tempted to go further than that. We all value something in our lives. I value my sexual purity.

I wasn't really sure where to put this topic but I guess the subject title speaks for itself. This is mainly a question for the guys but I guess girls can answer too...I was wanderiing how many guys out there would continue dating a girl even if she didn't put out? Ex: she was set on waiting for marriage and that means she won't go past second base. I think that if a guy likes the girl enough, then he would stick around...is that true? I know for some guys that isn't true... But if I think a guy is a nice guy (meaning he was nice enough to respect that), should I trust my gut feeling? And guys, when you like a girl/have a crush on her...what are your intentions? Are you just thinking I want to get to know her more, ask her out...or are you thinking about getting physical with her... Thanks for reading

Hi, Well to me it sounds like she does like you. She gave you a hug twice and said she was glad you came. Did she do that to anyone else? She also invited you out to dinner. Yet it sounds like she is having some phone problems or something. Maybe when she goes to her parents house they are outside (away from the phone), or her and her parents went out, she doesn't have caller id, she's busy tending to her grandma's needs, she's running errands at the time you call...etc. I don't get why when she took your # down and said she was going to call you, you called her...she did eventually call you from the payphone. Perhaps ask her what would be a good time for you to call her. To sum up yes I think she likes you but she's just a busy person.

lol. your welcome

Hello, I mean this in the nicest way but this is my opinion. Based on a 2month relationship even though it was serious, If you've been missing this guy for a year then maybe you aren't in particular missing him your just missing a relationship. Especially since you couldn't have been that compatible with him if you were having heavy fights when you only went out with him for 2months. (This is assuming you haven't had any other relationships after you guys broke up). I think moving into a serious relationship when you've only been dating a guy for two months is moving too fast especially at 15, which ultimately ended it for you guys. Unless he shows signs that he wants to try a relationship with you again then you should definitely move on and find another guy.

Is this somewhat what your asking... How do you know the difference between the love one feels for a best-guy-friend and the love one feels for a boyfriend? Well a best-guy-friend you could love but have no romantic feelings for. It's the same kind of love you would feel for a i.e., girl best friend. Where on the other hand, a boyfriend obviously you would have romantic feelings for. You could be emotionally attached to both at the same time though. Generally speaking, I think if you are considering to marry your boyfriend (or are in a serious relationship with them) then you should feel more love towards your boyfriend. If you feel you love your guy friend more though (such as you feel more attached to them) then maybe you have more (romantic) feelings for your guy friend than you initially thought. That reminds me of a movie I just saw, "Win a date with Tad Hamilton", where a person in the movie asked, "Could you possibly love someone your whole life and not even know it?" That makes sense, since aren't all good boyfriend/girlfriend relationships built on good friendships? Also, If you've seen "My best friend's wedding" with Julia Roberts it illustrates a similar scenerio. Julia Roberts has a guy-best-friend and it's not until he gets engaged that she realizes she has romantic feelings for him and not just that best-friend kind of love.