cranberry

Great suggestions, guys. Thanks.

Thanks for the replies, guys. That night he was hinting at asking me out. I think he was trying to figure out if I liked him back, but we both know long-distance wouldn't work out. Even if he did ask me out I'd say no. I find that so ironic, because I know a lot of girls (we work with) really like him, and I just don't see why. They think he is so amazing, but he really isn't special at all. He is a bit immature, and now that I have gotten to know him really well I find that his personality is so predictable. Yeah I am definitely looking forward to September so I can ffooorrrggeett him.

I don't know if anyone has been following my previous post about my coworker, but it feels good just to type this all out and get it off my chest. Basically the situation was about me wondering if a male coworker of mine liked me, and the majority concurred that maybe he did, but that he was a flirt in general. You could skip to the last paragraph for my questions if you're not in the reading mood. Well this is what happened tonight. Tonight I closed with him and this other girl. The whole night I had his whole attention--i.e., when he was talking he would look at me, even though he was also talking to the other girl. During the night we were kindof joking around and then he brought up that he doesn't "date" anyone. I said, "Aren't you seeing that girl right now". And he said he wasn't and that he wasn't really "seeing" anyone right now. So obviously he just likes to meet a lot of girls. And later he said he was scared of the words dating and commitment. Ha. Then later me and the girl were making fun of him and we were all joking around, and he said something like, "I hate both of you two girls. But I like one of them, but I can't do anything about it."--and he was looking at me. Then well referring to the other girl, he said, "She knows what I'm talking about." And she said, "Yeah. You should just ask her out. If you like her that much just go for it." Him, "I would but how is it going to work when I go away [for school]. It's going to be hard having a long-distance girlfriend. It'll go good only until FroshWeek...blahblah." The whole time they were looking at me. At the moment I was confused so I was just like, "What?! What are you guys talking about?" and I just laughed it off and made a joke out of it. See deep down I'm not even sure if he was talking about me. I think he was because why would they be looking at me and then looking at each other and then me again... So this is my conclusion. He is a flirt and doesn't want to give that up. Yet he likes me and would want me to be his girlfriend, except the long-distance thing gets in the way. As stupid as this sounds, I'm a little flattered that he referred to me as a girlfriend (because he has implied that he's never really liked a girl enough for them to be a girlfriend). Now I feel weird. Why do I feel weird? I admit I liked him initially, but the more I got to know the more the attraction dissipated. He is a nice guy, but the flirting bugs me big time, and his humour is pretty lame too. Now a part of me is looking forward to September when he leaves, and I can forget about him--Why would I think that? If you made it to the end. Congrads. I really needed to get that off my chest.

...how do you politely turn him down? The setting is a bar.

Hey randy, Since you answered my post, I am going to take shot at yours. A lot of girls like to flirt/tease. It can be a lot of fun. It's even more fun if the person you are flirting with is attractive and you are interested in them. I see this in my department. We are an all-female department except for 2 guys: the guy I posted about, and this other kindof annoying 16yo. The first guy is attractive so what a coincidence that all the girls flirt with him and want his attention. The second guy nobody flirts with. (They talk to him, are friendly to him, but don't flirt). With that notion in mind, in your office, what is stopping her from constantly wanting the attention of another guy? Why doesn't she (constantly) bug the guy in the next cubicle? Well, for starters she must find you attractive and have at the least a tiny interest in you. Second, she likes to be teased by you (it's flirting and it's fun). And like I said before, flirting is even more fun if you find the other attractive and have interest in them (i.e, enjoy talking to them, like their personality). I remember reading one of your posts about a christmas gift you gave her--a purse. In my opinion, that was a thoughtful gift and was a little something extra than you would give the average coworker. What kind of gift did she give you? If it was something she picked up at the dollarstore...she either didn't put any thought into it or she is very cheap. If it was something moderately thoughtful, then it shows that she does care about you and your opinion of her. It does seem that she cares about your opinion a lot, because she asks you about her hair, boyfriends, etc. If she gave the same gift to everyone, then that just means she didn't have time to find great gifts for everyone and it was just easier that way. You said she constantly mentions other guys to you. ComputerGuy said it's because she doesn't want to seem desperate, that could be it. Maybe she just likes to talk and tell everyone about their lovelife. The guy I posted about, told practically everyone about his love life dilemma. Maybe she is waiting for you to show signs that you are jealous, and since you are not, she just keeps telling you more and more. Does she ask you about who you are dating? Or do you tell her about your dating life?

He teases me the most out of everyone. Basically he just teases me about being a bad worker when he sees me talking or laughing with the other coworkers. The last time I worked with him I forgot to say hi to him and I just started talking to everyone else, and he teased me a lot that day. (Yet that same day I saw him being a little touchy-flirty with this other female coworker). We were practically arguing, except there was a joking undertone. I think he likes to see me get annoyed, and then he laughs at my witty remarks. He also said that day, "Cranberry drives me crazy!" and "I feel like I'm going to cry"...And I was like, "Why? What is wrong with you today?" because I wasn't doing anything wrong, it was slow, and most of the time I was cleaning and talking at the same time. See I don't really want to do that because I know he has a girlfriend/is dating someone right now. I don't think they will last long b/c he leaves in Sept., but still. Also it seems every girl flirts with him and touches him, except for me. I don't think his head needs to be any bigger than it is now. I don't understand why he gets so upset when I talk to everyone else but him (it's not on purpose). The less I talk to him the more he teases me. But if another female coworker doesn't talk to him that much one day, he doesn't start teasing her. As weird as this sounds, it's fun to argue with him. He looks at me a lot too and if we are talking he looks at my eyes. I'm not even sure if I like him. I could if I allowed myself to, but I stopped myself on purpose. He is attractive, nice, funny (laughs at all my jokes too), intelligent, but then on the flip side he is flirty with other girls, and he seems a little self-absorbed.

Sheyda wrote: Sheyda, I am going through a similar situation, except I put my guard up to stop myself from falling for this guy. He does similar things like the guy mentioned above. He looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking, gets jealous and quiet when he thinks guys are flirting with me, offers me rides home...but at least I know that he has a girlfriend/is dating someone. Hence, I would also like to know WHY a guy would do that?

There were two ways I interpreted your question and I have 2 solutions for each of them. 1) Does it feel like your nostrils are kind of swollen too? And you can't really breathe out of your nose (You can breathe, but it feels better to breathe out of your mouth?). This used to happen to me a lot, but always when I would be trying to get to sleep. The advice I was given was to prop up my head more with pillows (when lying down), and/or take an Advil Cold&Sinus. 2) Your nasal membranes are dry. You could put some Petroleum jelly on a q-tip and apply it to the inside of your nose. (Do not use a scented lotion.) What works even better is a moisturizer meant especially for the inside of your nose. I would tell you what it is called, but it's upstairs and I am downstairs right now...and I'm not getting up, lol. I'm sure you will find it in the Pharmacy section (it's in a tube...I think it starts with an "R").

I'm a first year psych-student (well 2nd year in September) and I learned a little about this. Since it was a first year course we didn't go into much detail about this, but it is basically like you said. Clients tend to fall for their psychotherapists/psychologists, because of the deep emotional connection they encounter during their sessions. The client pours their heart out to their therapist, and the therapist listens, provides advice, encouragement, sympathy, etc. The client feels that the therapist understands them--just like a boyfriend/girlfriend would/should. However, once this happens it's recommended that the client find a new therapist, because this attraction is detrimental to his/her recovery. The therapist is there for professional reasons--that is what he/she is paid for.

If you don't hate this university too much, then I suggest taking them up on their second-chance offer. I'm not sure how the university system works where you are from, but couldn't you apply for both schools and if your admission is rejected from the second school, then you could go to the first one again. Since you got good grades in highschool--obviously you are smart. To pull your marks back up it's going to take work, I think you can do it if you set your mind to it. If you set time aside for each class everyday or so to at least review your notes and read the assigned chapters, it's manageable. University doesn't mean having to study ALL the time. If you manage your time properly you can have fun and get good grades. If the university offers a counselling service, you could discuss solutions to last year's problems of why you flunked out and to make sure you don't repeat history. Universities usually offer little workshops on How to Study, How to get motivated, etc. to further help their students--perhaps you could take a few of those.

Yes. I agree with that. But do you think he has some feelings for me? Because why would he offer me rides home (and nobody else)? And I get the feeling that he's kindof protective over me and he does little nice things for me throughout the day.

He is a nice guy. However, Say if I were his girlfriend, I think he would stop flirting with other girls, but as soon as he goes back to school and "forgets" about me, I think he would flirt. It's more that they flirt with him, and smile at him, and then he just responds to it. I'd say out of all of us he pays the most attention to me and actually initiates the flirting, but with the others they initiate it.

Any more opinions? Thanks

Thanks for the replies so far. By putting all of them together, I think I came up with a semi-solution. On a side note, before he was asking me for advice about this girl (before he started seeing her). It's a whole complicated story, but I said just go for it if you really like her. He mentioned that he didn't like long distance relationships (b/c he'll be going back to school in september). First he said he liked her, and then he said he wasn't even sure if he really really did. I also agreed that long distance relationships suck. I felt all special because he confided in me, only to realize later that he had told almost everyone else in our deparment about his dilemma, ha. Do you think what's stopping him from pursuing me is the long-distance thing PLUS the fact that we work together? I don't mind having to work together, but I'm the type of girl that would be in it for the long run not a temporary fling for over the summer. I think he presumes that, so he has settled for being friendly-friends...Does that sound right? It just bugs me that he would flirt with me or like me or whatever he is doing with me, when he is seeing that girl and then he mentions her everynow and then. For example, He saw Batman with her. And then a week later I saw it. So we were talking about it. And then he specifically said, "Yeah I saw it with *and then he emphasized her full name*." When I start to feel like this, I start distancing myself from him and start talking to my other coworkers. But then he'll start jumping in on our conversations, or he'll nudge me in the back and jokingly say, "Stop talking and get to work". And then we start joking around again.

This is about a male coworker and me--we both work in the same department. He goes to uni out of town so he only works here at Christmas time and summer break. Sorry about the length, but it would be appreciated if you could drop me your two cents. About 2yrs ago I got hired at christmas time and I was very shy and very new. I think he liked me then because he would always be watching me and would volunteer to help me with stuff. I developed a small crush on him, but was way too shy to do anything about it, I could barely say hi to him. There were other girls hired too, but he didn't really offer to help them with stuff. During that summer I was still kind of shy and I didn't start to really open up with my coworkers until after he was already gone (in Sept). This christmas he didn't work. Right now I am very comfortable at work, joke around a lot, so when he came back for the summer I am now very comfortable around him. I know that he is dating a girl right now, but I get the feeling that he is either very friendly with me or is flirting. For instance, we joke around A LOT. I also joke around with everyone, but he tries to make me laugh and teases me. We gradually built up to a lot of accidental touching (I don't know how that suddenly happened though)...at first if we'd touch arms or hands (if we'd pass each other something) I'd say sorry but he wouldn't say anything. So then I just stopped saying sorry altogether. We both knew we lived in the same area, but had never really brought it up. One night when we were closing, I was asking him about his car (because I'm planning to buy one soon) and then he asked me where I live and offered to give me a ride home. The whole ride he was talking about music and kept switching the songs. And near the end he finally mentioned that these were the songs he picked for a mix-tape for that girl he's seeing who went on vacation. A couple of days later I go into work, and right away he's like "What time do you work til? I can give you a ride home...I have my dad's car today". He asked me again later. I declined because I was getting off work a little earlier than him and I didn't want to wait. (He has only given one girl rides home, but that was a couple of years ago...she used to like him...they are quasi-friends now...he has admitted he thinks she's childish). He's kind of flirty with other girls at work, but they flirt back with him. I don't flirt back with him really, I only joke with him. I have never intentionally touched him, yet sometimes he leans on my shoulder, touches/pokes my arm when we talk, or pushes me. When he heard that I thought this 30something manager was hot, he made fun of me and wouldn't drop it--almost like he was jealous. What bothers me about him is mainly he only talks about himself--like what he did last night, etc. He rarely asks stuff about me (or any other of our coworkers). Yesterday I got in for work and I asked him what his shift was, and he answered and then smiled--like he thought I liked him or something. (So then I made sure to ask everyone else what their shifts were.) So what kind of relationship do we have? Is he just a flirt (esp. b/c he is seeing someone).

You could flirt with him more to try and spark some interest on his part BUT that could backfire. Instead of sparking his interest, he could find your flirting to be annoying, because he has made it clear that he just wants to be friends. I recommend that you value his decision on just wanting to be friends. I know that is going to be hard, because you like him so much, but by showing him how good of a friend you are, I think he will appreciate it. And perhaps this appreciation of friendship could somewhere down the road develop into the romantic interest you initially hoped for. (On a side note, when I said "good" friend that doesn't mean bending over backwards to help him, it just means sustaining the same kind of (casual) friendship/relationship you have now). One last thing, I hope you are not going to be counting down the days of your friendship until he suddenly likes you, because that could never happen. In the meantime, scope out some new guys and see if any of them catches your eye. Good luck!

Hello, I took up running/jogging again in March. I do 3miles in about 35-40min 3-4 times a week. I used to run outside, but with the summer aka humid/hot weather coming into effect, I decided to join a gym and now I run on the treadmill. I put it on a 1% incline to mimic the effects of running on the street (I read this in Fitness magazine). I pretty much run at a constant pace 4.7miles/h, with a few 3-5min sprints in between. Ok, now for my question. I also read in the magazine about interval running, where you jog for a couple minutes then full out sprint for a minute and you continue to do this pattern for your whole run. Personally I prefer the way I am doing it right now, but if this interval running will provide me with more benefits (i.e., more calories burned) then I'm all for it. So has anyone tried interval running and noticed a major difference or not really one at all? Thanks for reading.

Thanks for the replies. Taking your advice, I've decided I am not going to dye themself (with hairdye). If I decide to get them tinted, I am going to get them tinted professionally at a beauty salon. Nothing. I'm mostly a wash&go kindof girl and this means I have one less thing to do in the morning.

Has anyone ever tried this? I was thinking of just buying a box of hairdye and making a little mixture, and with a little brush or something use it to dye my eyelashes (a brown/black colour). What are the safety issues involved? I am very steady with my hands, so I am not fearful that I will accidently get some in my eye. I've heard that hairdye can cause blindness, I've even seen it on the instructions before--but what if I am EXTREMELY careful? Will it also dye the skin around my eye?--When you dye your hair, the instructions recommend putting petroleum jelly accross your hairline...so what if I put petroleum jelly on my eyelids so the dye will not stain them? -cranberry

*UPDATE TIME* So I got some scoop on him...He has a girlfriend and they have been going out for 2 years! *sigh* (I found this out from a girl that knows him).

Thanks for the replies. . And I like your story Muneca--esp. the ending. So I am going to take all of your advice...Since I can't really find anything to return to him, I will make it suddenly appear, lol. The only problem is I don't know when he works. Hopefully he'll be there on friday night (when I work). This is what I hate--having to wait...lol.

I work in a grocery store and I was wondering if there is a guy (who works in a diff. department) is interested me. I have been working there for about 1.5yrs (and he at least the same), and through all that time he has only come to our department maybe once or twice to return something or ask a work-related question. Then on Friday he came to our department twice for something work-related, then on Sat. he came by once, and then Sunday he came by once, and each time I always help him with whatever he needs (I work with a few other girls). Each time he is polite, and when I smile and say Hi he smiles back. On sunday I saw him walking over to our department, and it seemed like he was already looking for me...when I walked over to help him, I smiled and said Hi, he smiled back, but I wasn't sure if it was just a polite smile b/c it was really short, and then he asked me a work-related question. Then I started to think back to about a 1-2wks ago my coworker (who's boyfriend is friend's with this guy) asked me out of the blue if I had a boyfriend and I said no. Then in the same week she asked me again. And then I think the next day another female coworker of mine asked me if I had a boyfriend... So...I don't know if this is just a coincidence or not...If he is interested in me, I'm afraid he is going to run out of work-related questions to ask me. What should I do? Does he sound interested? Thanks for reading .

YES! Head as in where the FACE is located.

1) What hairstyle do you like best on girls? Long hair...but what is long hair to you? 2) Do you like long dark eyelashes? Personally I have almost-blonde eyelashes & dark brown eyes so unless I am wearing mascara you can't really see them...Haha, do you even care? Ok that's it. Thanks for reading

Ok I just started going out to clubs/bars. I'm not a big drinker or anything like that...I will not be going too often, maybe once every two weeks. Right now I am eating healthy stuff generally everyday and running 30-45min almost everyday, and I plan to go out with a group of ppl next weekend to the bars. What kinds of drinks should I be drinking w/o getting a beer gut? A couple of weeks ago when I went (1st time) I had a few mixed drinks (they were small though) and a BudLight... I heard mixed drinks are the most cals so next time I am going to avoid those. Any thoughts? thanks in advance