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Thread: Not hook ups but not in a relationship? What is this?

  1. #1
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    Not hook ups but not in a relationship? What is this?

    I was discussing things with this person who was only suppose to really be a hook up/snuggle buddy. We got to talking about what we were to each other. We agreed we're not just hook ups but we're also not in a relationship. That we're definitely friends but that it's just a weird relationship we have. Or different. I don't know how to explain it. Has anyone ever been confused as to what they were with someone else they were involved with?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Sometimes but then I decide what it is without the other person's input because well... it wasn't really there in the first place.

    I read your previous threads and it sounds like you've been in anguish and very sad for the past few months. Is it the same man?

  3. #3
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    In spite of his elaborate lines of bs, this is nothing but a series of convenient booty calls, (imo). I find it sad that you can't or will not see through this.

    Why not raise the bar, and find someone who's worth your time?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    You've been posting about this guy for a little while now, with the major theme, best I can tell, being you trying to find a way, or some label, that allows you to find comfort in something you're clearly not comfortable in.

    So to answer the question above about what is this? Well, it's that: you choosing to continue to engage in a dynamic that makes you increasingly uncomfortable. There: non-confusing label. Inevitable follow-up question is: Why? I ask that sincerely, hoping that if you answer it yourself you may find some of the answers you're looking for.

    Something to maybe think about? Personally, I think the least interesting or relevant part of any relationship is the label we give it, but how engaging in the relationship makes us feel. When we get hyper-focused on trying to label it, either in our own minds or through nudging conversations? It's often because we don't much like the way it feels to be in it.

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    I'm well aware of his attentions as he is mine. We've talked about all of this before this happened. We were both honest and up front. I don't have intentions of finding anyone worth my time. I don't care for a relationship.

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    Yeah it's the same guy but it's nothing serious. Just agreed to hook up and/or snuggle. But I don't know. We don't see each other as hook ups but not going for a relationship either so I was just confused as he is.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    People may have created the label FWB, for this type of situation. More than hookups but not a couple or dating.
    Originally Posted by confused198828
    I'm well aware of his attentions as he is mine. We've talked about all of this before this happened. We were both honest and up front. I don't have intentions of finding anyone worth my time. I don't care for a relationship.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I mean you just literally defined an FWB - friends with benefits - not a relationship, you do sleep with each other when you feel like it, treat each other in a friendly manner otherwise......this will continue until either one of you decides that this isn't good enough or more likely he'll find a girl he actually wants a real relationship with. It is not you, OP. Do with that what you want, but you can't get away from reality.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by confused198828
    I'm well aware of his attentions as he is mine. We've talked about all of this before this happened. We were both honest and up front. I don't have intentions of finding anyone worth my time. I don't care for a relationship.
    Why? Are you in love with him? Sometimes having feelings for someone puts blinders on us and we don't want or see certain things.

    It's not always reciprocal. Don't keep hurting yourself in the process if this isn't what you need or want.

    Why is it confusing?

  11. #10
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    This is a Friend With Benefits.

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