Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: confused about my boyfriends behaviour

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    2

    confused about my boyfriends behaviour

    I am very confused about something that happened recently in my relationship. I would appreciate any advice that any of you can give me. Thanks.
    So, I have been in a relationship on and off with my boyfriend for 4 years. Recently we had an argument as there have been issues for a while as we don’t spend a lot of time together (he works nights and we don’t live together) which doesn’t help. The argument was pretty bad and out of nowhere he starts sobbing saying he’s sick of arguing and scared I’m going to leave him. I comfort him and told him I wouldn’t leave him ok and he said good and stops crying.
    Fast forward a week. He came over the other night as a surprise saying work doesn’t need him tonight and he wanted to see me. I was surprised as wasn’t expecting him, however, was happy to see him. Once in my flat, I told him I needed to get in the shower as had been working earlier and was sweaty. He then asked if he could join me and I said no. He knows I don’t like it and has always respected this in the past. I then got in the shower and closed the door fully. After 5 mins he walked in the bathroom naked and just got in the shower with me. I told him to get out, but he started kissing me and ignored what I said. I didn’t say anything more and just went along with it.
    After us both getting out of the shower we got in bed, we started to make out and had sex (me on top) and he came. After lying down cuddling for a bit he suddenly starts tickling me really hard and when I said stop it and was trying to push him off cause it hurt. He just started to laugh at me and carried on. Next thing he gets on top of me and forces my legs open and I ask him what he’s doing and then say no, as we’ve just had sex. He just said no (in a daft voice) and then pushes inside of me and then he starts tickling me again really hard. I ask him to stop again and he said what “The tickling or sex”. I said the tickling (not the sex) and he stops. He then while still inside me said “I love you ok” and then proceeds to pin one of my hands down and puts his other hand around my throat and starts having sex with me really hard. I didn’t say no but cried out a few times in bed and he started to do it harder. After. He got off me and said, “You didn’t want that did you, I could tell you wasn’t in the mood”. I said no as I was tired from work and we had just had sex. He then said, “You know why I tickle you”? I said no and he replied, “Because I’m the man and I can”.
    I am confused about this incident as we have only ever had gentle sex in the past and he has always stopped when I have told him not to do things. I am not sure if my feelings are over the top or even if what he did was that bad. I would really appreciate any advice you can give me. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Somewhere Out There
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,700
    Gender
    Female
    Reading what happened to you makes me feel sick to my stomach. What he did not listening to you say no and telling you he’s the man so it makes it okay, is not right! You were raped! Can you get to a doctor to see if you were harmed in any way vaginally since he forced himself inside? You also need to report him to the police.

    I was raped at 20 by my boyfriend and the biggest mistake I made was not getting medical treatment and pressing charges!

    This guy doesn’t love you. This will only get worse!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,329
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Katrin
    I am not sure if my feelings are over the top or even if what he did was that bad.
    What he did was definitely bad. You gotta leave this guy.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    2,353
    Gender
    Male
    Just going to add to what the others are saying.

    This is all just so wrong on so many levels, and I'm very sorry you experienced this.

    You've been on/off for four years, which is generally a sign of a relationship that doesn't work more than it does. After this, I would press the "off" switch for good, and never look back.

    No one should do what he did to you—no one, no excuses.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,176
    He raped you. Please follow limichelles advice! You're gonna be ok, you just need to get this man out of your life too!

    I'm soooo sorry this happened to you! Please call a friend!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,416
    Gender
    Female
    "I'm the man and I can." What kind of a childhood did he have I wonder that put that in his mind as being okay to say nevermind think?

    Please make this relationship with him end PERMANENTLY. No going back. He has lost touch with reality and has sexually assaulted you.

    Please listen to what everyone is telling you. You deserve better than what he's trying to sell you.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,183
    I’m going to refrain from giving advice until I see if the poster comes back and interacts or is a one and done poster...

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    20,202
    He raped you! Then there is all of the other stuff which was a form of control and disrespect. Sickening!

    Get away from this guy!

    Why have you been on and off?

  10. #9
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    555
    My advice is that it's either time to get a new boyfriend who treats you with respect or take a long break from boyfriends.

  11. #10
    This is not right, you need to take measures against what he did to you. I second what everyone else has said.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •