First Date - Height Concerns

So, I have a date coming up this Thursday, we’ve been talking for a couple of weeks (met via a popular online app), she’s been away for the last 10 days with work but gets home on Tuesday. Anyway, the topic of height finally came up on the weekend... this is always my biggest fear, I’m short.... no wait, I’m not even short, I’m tiny! At only 5’6” (she’s 5’5”) I’m instantly identifiable as the shortest guy in the room... we seem to get on well and conversation bounces back and forth freely without having to try and pull the conversation along but after telling her my height she seemed to be a little shocked/taken back, she mentioned that she would never date a short guy, gauging my reaction made a joke about it and then moved on, the problem is I now can’t get this out of my head, until I started using online apps as a means to meet people I never saw my height as a weekends, it’s just part of who I am and I can change it, now it’s all I can think about... we’ve got a date planned for Thursday but I now have serious doubts about it... what should I do, cancel the date? Still go? Get height increasing insoles? Seriously I can’t stop thinking about it and I’ve never had nerves around something like this ever in my life... what should I do?

Go on the date, and be proud of your 5/6 self. If she has an issue with it, then that is her own security.

There are plenty of fabulous tall women with shorter men - you are actually taller than than this girl. Don't let this mess with your self esteem..

I agree with Holls , and 5ft 6 isn't that small in my book ...even if it was ...so what ..own it buddy , cos one day you will wake up with your balls sagging round your knees and your face joining them ....enjoy what you have and who you are .

For the record I was 5 6 ( I have shrunk ) ...went out with a few men either my height or 5 7 . The only problem I ever had was them ...their worries and insecurities , even abuse by one of them and ridicule for been tall and not a petite female .

Well, I'm 5'7 and I never considered myself short. When I was growing up, the average height of US men was 5'8. Today it's only an inch taller.

You can buy some regular men's shoes that have heels which adds about 2" to your height. Also a lot of running shoes have 2" soles, so you should be able to cancel out her height if she wears 3" heels.

Hey, at least she's going out with you. Try to wow her with your personality and hopefully your height won't matter.

I agree with Holls , and 5ft 6 isn't that small in my book ...even if it was ...so what ..own it buddy , cos one day you will wake up with your balls sagging round your knees and your face joining them ....enjoy what you have and who you are .

 

For the record I was 5 6 ( I have shrunk ) ...went out with a few men either my height or 5 7 . The only problem I ever had was them ...their worries and insecurities , even abuse by one of them and ridicule for been tall and not a petite female .

You're a riot! Glad you're back!

Read your second bit: that guy was an azzhole

the problem is I now can’t get this out of my head, until I started using online apps as a means to meet people I never saw my height as a weekends, it’s just part of who I am and I can change it, now it’s all I can think about..

The insecurity is your real enemy here, not your height.

Try to put things into perspective. This is a first date with a girl hat you really don't know at all (despite your conversations). She has had no influence on your life until this point. Why should her opinion matter so much?

Go out there and be as confident as you are under normal circumstances.

You're a riot! Glad you're back!

 

Read your second bit: that guy was an azzhole

Thanks Holly xx

Oh yeah he was a real piece of work , said I was more like a man not a woman lol

Show up well dressed and groomed with manners, confidence and an upbeat fun attitude. Even if it doesn't pan out (as many first meet things are one-and-done situations), just keep practicing and building confidence. If it goes well you nail down a second date. If it's awkward or wishy-washy you simply wrap it up quickly then all you say is "nice meeting you". Then you you move on and start messaging some more women and setting up meets.

we’ve got a date planned for Thursday

Can't believe she said that to you, even as a joke. It shows she's pretty tactless.

At 6'2 I don't really suffer from the self esteem issue caused by height.

All I can suggest would be to just rock who you are, no matter what your size and shape. Go on the date with confidence and she won't even notice your height. If she has issue, then she was not worth the effort in the first place.

YAY for the return of Baggystockings!

5'6" isn't that small... at first I thought you must be about 4'6" from the anxious tone of your post. And you're taller than she is!

Go along, enjoy your date and don't worry. If she rejects you purely on grounds of your height, this is probably someone you don't really want in your life anyway.

Over the years I've dated guys who were either my height or 1" taller, and it didn't matter a ****.

I second what everyone else said about just rocking your height but I would also like to add that in my opinion it's not a good idea to buy shoes that make you seem taller. For one thing, you've already told this woman your height. And secondly, even if you wear taller shoes, she would still eventually see you without shoes on if you continue dating. I think at the end of the day, people just have to like you for you. If this woman doesn't, then someone else will. I would go out with a shorter guy (I'm also 5'5). I don't even care about dating a dwarf! I literally don't care about people's height.

My husband is that height. I preferred shorter men. He is subjected to some nasty and rude comments about his height. Go on the date but only see her again if she is worthy of you. If she expresses any other inappropriate comments about your height she doesn’t deserve the privilege of knowing you.

It's not necessarily insecurity that you've heard from the horse's mouth that height is a dealbreaker. I think many here are conflating your situation with that of someone who goes into every date generally anxious about being shorter. She's told you upfront, whether sincerely or as an inappropriate joke given the lack of rapport, that she wouldn't date a shorter guy. Given you admit you never thought of your height as a detriment prior, it sounds like less an issue of your height and more the fact you've put this woman you've never met on a pedestal. The insecurity rather seems to stem from being afraid she means what she says, and for whatever reason, being rejected by a near stranger is a daming prospect for you.

In your shoes, whether I'd proceed to go on the date would depend on the investment being lined up. If you're talking coffee at a shop 10 minutes away, I might go just to shoot the **** for a half hour. If you're driving to the town over for dinner, I'd probably wish her the best. It wouldn't have anything to do with my own feelings of my height, but rather hers, and hers would be fair enough. We're all entitled to our dating preference regardless of how arbitrary they may be or seem. But that doesn't mean I'm going to put my spare time and money making a good impression despite outright spoken and contrary dating preferences.

My middle bro is 5'7" and has dated tons of HOT, tall girls. And in all cases, his personality makes him the tallest in any room. He's happily married. Don't worry about height ever. Be awesome, kind, accountable, and loving, and the right lady could care less about your height.

Funny enough I posted a threat on height difference and dating. The general consensus was it is not a massive deal for a height difference. Whether it be taller female shorter man or the other way around.

I do know it is a massive deal for men. But on of the most beautiful couples I know he is significantly shorter than her and they have been together for years!

Not all womeb will judge you on height as why should they? It doesn't define you as a person.

That said I do have friends that say it's an automatic no no if the guy is shorter. This women has essentially said that to you. With that in mind you are at risk if wasting your time going on this date.

Maybe tell her before? It will save you going through any awkwardness with her. If she doesn't want to meet then you know she was not meant for you! Why would you want to date someone who has that way of thinking abyway?

Best of luck x

I'm 5'7 dating someone who is 5'6 - so shorter than me! I don't really see it as a problem, and no one has said anything. Maybe my family are just happy I'm dating such a kind, hard-working, interesting guy, that they don't focus on his height.

👇🤡💺🎆🎭👙🚪🏯🔲🔸©🔃Well said!😅😮🐌🐣🐙🐬🦎🐪

I’m a troll. I’m a moron too.