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Thread: Should I be concerned or am I being a little sensitive...

  1. #1
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    Should I be concerned or am I being a little sensitive...

    I having been in a new relationship for the last few months. He is a wonderful man who is very kind, gentle, patient and a little shy.
    We have decided to take our relationship to a new level and he has expressed a desire to marry me one day.
    This is why I am writing. He asked me where I go to get my manicures. I told him the name of the salon and he told me that his sister in law
    works there. I told him that I knew her quite well and that she has done a few of my manicures. This salon is not small, but has probable over 100-150
    customers.
    While I was getting a pedicure, my new boyfriend's sister in law came up to me and said, are you Sue? I said, hi Laurie, what do you mean, am I Sue...lol?
    She said, well "Andy", my new boyfriend, told me he was dating, "A Sue that comes to this salon." I replied, "yes, I am dating "Andy"., and we have been
    dating for just over 2 months.
    Well, I saw "Andy" that evening and I told him I saw his sister-in-law today and that she came up to me and asked me if I was the "Sue" that he mentioned.
    She added that she had to try and figure out what "Sue" he could be referring to as they have several "Sue's" that go to their salon, and she couldn't figure
    out who it was, so when she saw me, decided to see if it was me. Then I asked him why he didn't just tell her it was me and give her my last name, for she
    would known immediately who he was referring to. In my mind, I wonder why such secrecy?
    His reply was, "because I am a private person and she doesn't need to know my business." Then, I asked, "if you are such a private person, why mention me at all?"
    There was no reply.

    Am I being overly sensitive? Is this normal for a man in love to be so evasive, but maybe not so for a person who is very private.
    Your thoughts and viewpoints are appreciated.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like things are going well. They were both trying to be polite. They must have 1000s of customers, so what is the issue?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You are overthinking this. He probably didnt give it a second thought about your last name or how many Sues there could be at that salon. Let it go.

  4. #4
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    Yeah, you're overthinking things. You're going to have to come up with more examples than this. I mean, put yourself in your boyfriend's situation and make believe you're talking to your sister. "Oh, yeah, I'm dating a Sue that comes to your salon." The sister says, "Oh, yeah?" And then she goes home and thinks about it and wonders which Sue it is, so she asked you if you are the one dating her brother. All this is perfectly reasonable. Was he suppose to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm dating Sue Smith who lives at 123 Main Street in Anytown, USA. She's a Democrat and she likes chicken dinners."? I mean, come on.

    What I'm worried about is that he's talking about marriage after only two months. That seems a bit quick and people on ENA will tell you that's problematic. People who do this could be extremely needy or clingy, or emotionally dependent. You might want to look for other red flags rather than why he didn't tell his sister all of your contact information.

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  6. #5
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    I am a little surprised you would question her as you did -she was at work and being polite, trying to make sure that you were the right person. It's your boyfriend's perogative to give your last name and I just think your expectations are a bit unrealistic for a woman at a nail salon with all those customers to greet you by last name - I'd be surprised if she remembered your last name even had he told her.

    Please focus on the good and decent intentions he had and she had.

  7. #6
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    Overreacting!

    I would be more concerned about discussing marriage at two months. Too fast.

  8. #7
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    Two = couple

    Few= more around 4


    Two months is WAY too soon to be talking marriage. That's scary.

    Also, you're completely overreacting.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I'm not even sure why this has bothered you so much that you needed to start a thread about it. What is it that you are worried about when there is nothing to worry about in what you've posted????

    ... and yes, I agree that the fact he talked about marrying you at the two month mark is the red flag in this situation.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Overreacting.

    Iím 95% sure my nail salon doesnít know my last name, FWIW.

  11. #10
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    Ok..........maybe I am. I wanted to know your thoughts. Laurie and I have known each other for 10 years, so she does know me very well and does know my last name.
    We do have different personalities. I am more extroverted than he is. He is more introverted and private. Neither is wrong. I have introduced him to all of my family members.
    He lives about 25 miles from me and has 3 grown children that live at home. I still have not met anyone from his family or been invited to his home. I know he is divorced, according to Laurie and is looking to marry again. I don't know, this is a first for me. He's can be very secretive at times.

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