Why do people ignore you?

What goes on in someone's head to make them think it's okay to ignore someone rather than just tell them you're not interested? Do they not understand how much that hurts people? I'd rather be told they didn't want me than be left on read...

It just bugs me how that person that you can be super into is just living their day without a care in the world and happily ignoring any messages you send as if you don't exist or "oh, he'll be fine."

Er...how long have you been dating/talking to this person?

People ignore/ghost because they are cowards. They don't want to have to be exposed to the repercussions of their decision.

Sometimes people ghost because they have told the person they have ghosted that they aren't interested in continuing but that person doesn't get it and keeps on trying to impose themselves in that persons life.

Sometimes people ghost because they know that the person they are ghosting will ask 1000 questions and will keep wanting more and more answers so it's best to tell that person in actions (the act of ignoring) that they want them out of their life.

It's not always just because the person ghosting is a coward. Sometimes it's out of necessity.

Op: What is the background here. You give zero context as to what you two had going on and what led up to you being ignored.

.....because sometimes actions speak louder than words.......

If this is about the same girl from your thread yesterday then she didn't ghost you, she told you no but was trying to let you down easy. Thát you then told her you'd still be around and that you continued to message her isn't really her problem. Her answer was no

Agree with actions speaking louder than words, and it's honestly kinda cringy how dependent some seem to be on the latter when it comes to reading the situation and moving on. Bear in mind, I'm 100% for hitting someone with a, "Sorry, not feeling the chemistry," but fact is some people don't and won't. A bit cruddy? Sure. But there's no real reason to deeply internalize someone you've met all but once or twice electing simply to go silent. Discourteous people exist all over the place and in all facets of life. I know my quality of life went through the roof when I made a conscious decision not to get hung up on that fact.

Because maybe she did show interest but then found someone better. That’s too hard of a truth. There’s many reasons why people ghost. Just move on. Say F you and keep going in life.

She already told you she's dating someone else. I'm not sure what else she can tell you.

Maybe that's why she decided to stop communicating with you.

Not everyone feels the way you do.

I've done both, backed away slowly. I've come right and told them that though they were a very nice person, we weren't a match.

Some appreciate it, some don't.

I personally don't feel the need for man to tell me he isn't interested and/or why. It just feels unnecessary. His actions tell me all I need to know.

I've told someone in the kindest way possible and in turn I've endured an onslaught of vile personal attacks. This was after meeting him for coffee for 90min's, mind you.

There isn't one great way to do it. It just depends on the individual and the circumstances.

A relationship of long duration is different. But I don't think we are talking about that.

Lesson for you: When someone tells you they have a boyfriend it means they are NOT into you. She is "ignoring" you because she is with someone else. You have no place there. Stop sending messages.

The question you should be asking is: "Why do people insist on going after someone who's in a relationship?"

People ignore/ghost because they are cowards. They don't want to have to be exposed to the repercussions of their decision.

Yep, this is the conclusion I have come to as well. Rejecting somebody is hard (at least it is if you care about people) and telling some guys outright was a strain for me. Uninterested people give off signs that they will a. reject you or b. that they will end up ghosting/ignoring you. Best thing to do is never get attached early on. Yes some guys have not gotten the message and I ended up having to ignore them, so its not exactly ghosting.

Nobody 'owes' us a therapeutic lesson about why we are not a good match for them. If you've been in a committed relationship, then explaining a breakup is pretty standard, but if someone exits a committed relationship without words, it's usually after a fight or a problem that's already occurred, so further discussion is a moot point.

If someone exits after a date or two, then zero contact simply means that they don't want to go on another date. They've decided you're not a good match for them, and the reason is largely irrelevant because it doesn't mean you're not a good match for someone else.

If other posters are correct about a girl already telling you that she's interested in someone else or has a BF, then what more, exactly, is there for her to say? Why would you believe that she 'owes' you any contact beyond that?

It's not about trying to get with her when she has boyfriend. She told me she would love to be friends, and we continued to talk after that. I don't blow up her phone. I send one message and if she doesn't respond I either wait 5-6 hours before I send another one or I wait till the next day.

The issue isn't that I'm trying to get with her when she has a boyfriend. The issue is that she told me "let's be friends" and then shortly after stopped talking to me. That's not what friends do. She hasn't unfriended me on anything or blocked me.

But you said it yourself, she doesn't want to hurt anyone so my guess is that she was trying to let you down easy and doesn't want to hurt you but she isn't interested and also not really interested in a friendship.....

If you send a message and she doesn't respond, the answer isn't to send another one. If you message her and she doesn't respond, that's it. Leave it alone.

Yes, she said she wants to be friends, but what are her actions saying? Ignoring messages is a pretty strong indicator that she is not really interested in being "friends" with you. She probably said that so you wouldn't feel rejected.

She ended up messaging me the next day and apologized for not talking. Apparently she goes through random states of depression where she doesn't talk to anyone for a few days and it happens randomly and without a reason.

Had a girl bring up depression to me once minus the “random” part. Never ignored me though. Leave it alone. I tell myself this every time i think of her which is often. She may have had a boyfriend or an ex she wasn’t over or she may not have. When we were together I wouldn’t have guessed and she didn’t mention it (I didn’t ask). After doing some thinking and trying to understand, I came to the conclusion that if she wanted me to understand she would’ve told me. When someone mentions depression, it’s serious and if they’re using it as an excuse, they’re not that great of a person to begin with. You don’t know their situation even if you dealt with similar things in the past.

Also, any girls you meet have a stronger connection with any ex’s or current boyfriends which is not to say yours would be less if you guys gave it a shot but we don’t know what we don’t know.

I hate to say this because I’ve been fishing, and she caught my eye in a big way, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. Not everyone will think or experience things like you in the moment.

Best to let it go and don’t be butthurt because it’s really not you. She may reach out if things don’t work out with her current boyfriend but they may. Wish her the best and mean it. If you really like someone you want them to be happy right? Hold your composure because if you can’t you never meant it to begin with and you’re wasting everyone’s time including yours. She hasn’t blocked you or ignored you because you haven’t crossed that line. Don’t cross that line. Let her figure it out. You may be “a guy she talked to once” but at least you’re not a guy that made her uncomfortable. I’m sure all women have had plenty of those. Whatever the reason is she’ll reach out if she wants to.

What goes on in someone's head to make them think it's okay to ignore someone rather than just tell them you're not interested? Do they not understand how much that hurts people? I'd rather be told they didn't want me than be left on read...

 

It just bugs me how that person that you can be super into is just living their day without a care in the world and happily ignoring any messages you send as if you don't exist or "oh, he'll be fine."

It's not about trying to get with her when she has boyfriend. She told me she would love to be friends, and we continued to talk after that. I don't blow up her phone. I send one message and if she doesn't respond I either wait 5-6 hours before I send another one or I wait till the next day.

 

The issue isn't that I'm trying to get with her when she has a boyfriend. The issue is that she told me "let's be friends" and then shortly after stopped talking to me. That's not what friends do. She hasn't unfriended me on anything or blocked me.

You're response indicates neediness, which will push her away. Perhaps stop reaching out and let her initiate if that's what she wants.

What goes on in someone's head to make them think it's okay to ignore someone rather than just tell them you're not interested? Do they not understand how much that hurts people? I'd rather be told they didn't want me than be left on read...

 

It just bugs me how that person that you can be super into is just living their day without a care in the world and happily ignoring any messages you send as if you don't exist or "oh, he'll be fine."

You're taking rejection too personally. Accept it as a fact of life, and move on.

As far as why, people behave they want to, not the way we want them to.