Southern Republican Boyfriend, need help!

Im a 27 year old woman, almost 28 and my bf is 27 almost 28 as well. We started dating almost 6 months ago now and he is different from any other man i have ever dated.

First of all, and maybe this doesn't matter to others as much as it did me...he is a republican and I am a democrat. We met online and i went on a date with him and once i found out he was a republican i kind of blew him off. He came back into my life and said he was still very interested in me and felt we could talk through our differences in poltics if i was still interested. We did talk through it all and at the end of the talk i felt i was being very petty blowing him off so easily over a difference in politics. I felt immature and stupid and was so happy he wanted to give me another chance.

Well fast forward 6 months and i am realizing this is more than just how we vote. He and I have fundamental differences in how we see a lot of things. His whole family is pretty southern conservetive as well but for some reason they LOVE me. None of them seem to take issue with the fact that i am differnt. Its all me.

Outside of poltics we want the same things out of life, he and i are compatible in a lot of ways and our relationship and sex life are great. We just end up bickering about poltics a lot. :(

The biggest issue is he thinks he should be able to joke about anything. Gay people, Black people etc. He doesn't see issue with a rebel flag. He has made jokes about the Quran being more violent than the bible. When i asked him if he was serious he got mad at me and said he was joking and I must think he is a bad person.

To clarify, he has expressly told me that he doens't mind gay people and he has Black family memebers and dated other races so i dont think he is racisit per say but he doesn't stop his brother from saying questionable things when i have been around and whitnessed it.

I get the feeling he just doesn't see why i have issue with how he supports "building a wall" and how he voted for trump and for some reason it doesn't bother him to know we are different. It keeps bothering me but at the end of the day, does it really matter? I'm not sure. If we want the same things out of life and enjoy each others company can differing world views like this be a deal breaker?

Have you dated someone from a different political affilation. Or maybe someone from the South?

Help!

It doesn't really matter how he or his family feel about you being "different" politically from them.

If it bothers YOU, then yes, it may be time to end this one.

I always say this...think about 45-50 more years of listening to him expressing his views. How does that make YOU feel?

I was raised in the south, lived there for 37 years and this guy is a douche.

DTMFA.

Period, the end.

And if you think I may be wrong, tell one of your Muslim, gay or black friends some of the "jokes" he tells about them to get a second opinion.

Nope. Could never deal with a racist.

The biggest issue is he thinks he should be able to joke about anything. Gay people, Black people etc. He doesn't see issue with a rebel flag. He has made jokes about the Quran being more violent than the bible. When i asked him if he was serious he got mad at me and said he was joking and I must think he is a bad person.

 

To clarify, he has expressly told me that he doens't mind gay people and he has Black family memebers and dated other races so i dont think he is racisit per say but he doesn't stop his brother from saying questionable things when i have been around and whitnessed it.

Some people enjoy inappropriate humor without being bigoted, mean, or malicious.

Other people can't tolerate it.

It's really a question of what you are comfortable with.

If we want the same things out of life and enjoy each others company can differing world views like this be a deal breaker?

If you can't tolerate differences, then your differences will probably end up being a deal breaker. If you enjoy diversity and debate, your relationship can prosper.

There are many couples that do not share political parties, and have successful marriages.

Making homophobic, racial, sexist comments has nothing to do with party, only ignorance. You need to state your feelings, if they can't respect them - stop the stupid comments- you should move on.

If he still supports Trump, then that is another reason to dump him.

All I'm going to say is, you don't have to agree with him...you just have to respect him.

You are not right in your beliefs. He is not wrong in his beliefs. You are both just different in your beliefs.

Stop looking at him like he's wrong or crazy, he's just different than you. Can you respect that, or can't you?

Sometimes those kinds of jokes are hilarious - with the understanding that there is ultimately respect for the individuals with those identities.

For instance, I have a Jewish step-side of my family, and I was making puns today that poked fun, but ultimately I of course love my Jewish step-Grandma and everyone knows that... I think that's pretty ok. Now saying the N-word, or showing blatant disrespect... That's different.

I would think it pretty immature to impose your liberal beliefs on him. Though you may consider yourself on "the right side of history" not everyone sees it that way. I suggest understanding that your side and his side are not always 100% right (my mom always says the truth is somewhere in the middle) and turning off the news and living your life without all that propaganda and toxicity in your life!

My 1st bf had different political views and that mattered a lot. When I 1st met him, fell head over heels and I thought we could work out our differences. He told me he was super open minded, instead I found out he is confrontational and very immature in debating politics. If this bothers you, the relationship will NOT work.

My husband and I are republican and support Trump. My husband is an immigrant and turned in his citizenship papers after Trump won because the president in his home country is far worse (executions left and right). We are an interracial couple with multiple diverse friends.

The comments about Trump supporters here are outstanding. Some of you guys are so tolerant!

supporting Trump is essentially supporting racism and sexism, and alot of his loyal following ARE white supremacist. That is not a simple disagreement in politics, that is a human rights issue. Donald Trump is a pompous bigot And no, dating outside your race or having a black friend doesn't = you aren't racist.

Oh this comment is rich! I'm a Hispanic woman who voted for Trump. I know other Hispanic blacks, and Asians who also voted for the guy. To call every Trump support a "white supremacist" is absolutely ridiculous. I've seen some bigots who support the Democrat party (Antifa, BLM) - including the chair person of the DNC calling Hispanics "Taco Bowl Voters" in an email -but that doesn't define the whole party, right?

To those who said to the OP that his behavior isn't based on political affiliation, kudos to you. Making those joke are unacceptable no matter what political affiliation you support.

Under review.