Girlfriend wants to get pregnant!

Well my girlfriend wants to have a baby. I kinda want a kid as well, but thats probably cause Im trying to figure out my life. Now we are both 17 grade 12 students and we've been going out since the end og g7. Does anyone have any advice that maybe can point me in the right direction?

Yep - don't do it. It would be a life altering event that would happen at the wrong time in your lives. And it would be simply wrong to bring a child into the world to be looked after by parents who are not ready to do it properly.

Do you have the means to support this child? Do you want the latenight feedings?

Im sure you love this gal, but realize that a child is not a hobby. Im sure your 5 yr relationship with you gf is great. But why not wait til you've had a few more years to establish yourself, then...THEN...think about brining a child into the world!

Babies aren't free!

Wait. You are no where near ready for a baby in your lives. That is something you both have to desperately want and have appropriatrely planned for. A child is for life, there is no going back.

You guys have plenty of time ahead of you. Don't rush into something as life changing as having a child.

Yes, wait. Some couples view having a kid as a way of cementing the relationship to ensure that it lasts. Bad reason, and it rarely brings the desired result (and I don't mean to imply that that's your girlfriend's reason at all). If your 5 year relationship is strong, you'll still be together in a few years when both of you are in a more secure position in life to raise a child. If anything, I feel that having a kid now will cause more problems, since a child will bring a lot more stress into your lives and might ultimately drive you apart.

Do you have the means to support this child? Do you want the latenight feedings?

I work at Best Buy as a sale associate. Coule you also definel atenight feedings please.

You better not get her pregnant bro, that's all I have to say.

late night feedings? all hours of the night, every few hours.

I also agree, there is no reason to rush into having a baby. you both are young. it takes a lot of time and money to raise a baby. there was a study done recently that showed it costs a $200,000 to raise a child from infancy to 18 years old. that's food, clothes, health care, medical bills, etc.... that is a huge burden for any couple, especially 2 17 year olds!

I say wait - until you have more money and experience. do stuff for yourself, like go to college, better your education, travel the world, then have a baby. because once you have a baby, your entire life will revolve around it. your life is no longer your own.

Coule you also definel atenight feedings please.

If you don't know what that is, you're definitely not ready. Even if you did, you're still not, but... no, just no.

If you don't know what that is, you're definitely not ready. If you did, you still wouldn't, but it's funny how you just have no idea what you'd be in for.

Well I have never herd that term used before that is why I am asking what it means.

True- don't get her pregnant- till at least you've got your own lives settled- school, work, etc. Deng - you guys are still kids yourself (not meant as an insult- it's the truth)

You better not get her pregnant bro.

Well lets hope I choose the right thing to do and not get her pregnant.

Well lets hope I choose the right thing to do and not get her pregnant.

do you use protection? birth control? if I were you, I would use a condom and make sure she is on birth control. or refrain from sex until you are more ready to handle the consequences.

do you use protection? birth control? if I were you, I would use a condom and make sure she is on birth control. or refrain from sex until you are more ready to handle the consequences.

We don't really have sex alot. Like I admit we do at times, and yes we use protection.

ok good. keep using protection, but because condoms are only about 95% effective against preventing pregnancy when used properly, it would be good for her to get on a secondary method of birth control, like the pill or Depo-provera.

Seriously - having a kid is just way too much work. If she wants to get a taste of it, she should babysit an infant or a toddler for just a few hours. I know that is more than enough to wear me out. You two should enjoy your youth - go out, have fun, go to parties. because when the baby comes, you can't go out all hours of the night, or even really do anything at all without thinking of the baby. even if you want to go to the store to get some food, you can't just leave the baby at home by itself. everywhere you go, the child needs to come with.

Seriously - having a kid is just way too much work. If she wants to get a taste of it, she should babysit an infant or a toddler for just a few hours. I know that is more than enough to wear me out. You two should enjoy your youth - go out, have fun, go to parties. because when the baby comes, you can't go out all hours of the night, or even really do anything at all without thinking of the baby. even if you want to go to the store to get some food, you can't just leave the baby at home by itself. everywhere you go, the child needs to come with.

I know its alot of work, but if it comes to it Im a hard worker I can handle it. Going to parties not my thing anymore when I used to do some DJing yeah but we've grown out of it. But I see your point. Like I said Im still trying to get my head on straight I have so much things to worry/deal about that I cant handle all of it thats why Im seeking some advice.

Right now you are 17 and a senior in highschool. You should be applying to colleges and planning for your future.

YOu have been with your girlfriend for a long time now and Im sure the love is real, but, if you take time... even a few more years you will be more prepared to support her and the child if and when the time comes.

If this relationship is meant to last you have many many more years to have children... Even wait five or 10 more years before you have them, no rush.

Trust me I know the harsh realities of having a child young, and I was 20 not 17... Life as I knew it changed forever.

do you use protection? birth control? if I were you, I would use a condom and make sure she is on birth control. or refrain from sex until you are more ready to handle the consequences.

Excellent idea...

hey - I am really glad to hear that you're thinking this over carefully.

yeah, even if you aren't a partier, it's just nice to have a few years of your adult life to yourself, without huge responsibilities. even if you wait another 5 years to have a child, you and your gf would still be pretty young parents (if your goal is to be young parents). And there are advantages to being young parents - like you have more energy to chase after the kids, but there are disadvantages too, like lack of money and life-experience.

I think of myself as a hard worker also, but I know I get burnt out, and then I take it easy for a while, and then I go back to working hard. so, yeah, having a baby would make it a lot easier to get burnt out.

As you are still in high school you cant possibly have a career, stable life, proper home etc. that is all a solid foundation to having a child. This is not something to take lightly. My honest advice, wait about 6 more years, if you are still together then have kids. Give yourself time to get out of HS, get into and finish college, and start working on a good job/ career... put some money down on a house and then start doing the deed without the birth control. When its supposed to happen itll happen. But you shouldnt even be THINKING about this for at least another 3-6 years in my opinion.

If she pushes the issue, stop having sex with her, or break up. Neither of you are ready now, enjoy your youth while you can, you only have it once.

hey - I am really glad to hear that you're thinking this over carefully.

You know what some people wouldnt see it that way, but I do need to think it over critically and talk it over with my girl because it it a life altering dessision (as stated above)

As you are still in high school you cant possibly have a career, stable life, proper home etc. that is all a solid foundation to having a child. This is not something to take lightly.

 

If she pushes the issue, stop having sex with her, or break up. Neither of you are ready now, enjoy your youth while you can, you only have it once.

You know you are absoloutly right on that. To break up with her thats not really something I want to do unless it actually come to that because of natural cause. Because she is the type of girl that doesnt come around to often.

My advise is to wait until you're 20 and then discuss the baby issue again. We do a lot of changing inbetween 17 and 20. I know a lot of people who wish they'd waited until they were older with good jobs and money before they started a family.

It's also a good idea to have both sets of parents giving you physical support in caring for the child, that way if anything is wrong and you have an emergency and don't know what to do, they'll 'drop' everything and come straight away.

Babies sense when their parents are stressed and that makes them cry constantly for hours. You can't just put on your coats and leave it behind, instead you've got to persevere and pray it will stop crying soon. This is the stage when some parents lose control and harm babies.

Good luck and take care.

Buy her a puppy!

Seriously you are wise to seek advice. You have an entire future to plan and look forward to- together. Let her know you want to have children with her someday but that you want to build a firm foundation to raise your family on.

That you want to afford that child every opportunity to thrive! You need to be established before you start a family so that you will not flounder for the rest of your life trying to make ends meet. Where would the baby live with her and her parents? It seems that you want the real deal... Ya know a careeer, a home then then the family... ALthough I was teasing maybe buying a puppy would give her something to take care of and adore but hsow her how responsible she has to be for that little life. While I know that is in no way likened to a baby maybe she would have easier time telling the rents, "Look Mom & Dad I have a Golden Retriever!" instead of , "I'm prego!"

please please please don't do it!!

and please don't take it the wrong way... but this is children having children....

please please please make sure YOU use protection every time, even if she says she's on the pill... but she should be on the pill as well.

you do NOT want a baby at this age, especially when you have no means to support people.