Girlfriend wants to get pregnant!

[annie24]

hey - I think you should totally go for your dream. that sounds awesome, and you and your gf would make a good team.

[justpaisley]

Out of curiosity, why would you use FOrmula if she can breast feed, it's better for the baby.. The baby becomes more healthy and less alergic to things... make a big diffrence I find..

 

Not everyone can breastfeed for the entire first year, or at all. Many people choose to turn to formula to either supplement or completely feed their children.

[justpaisley]

Maybe thats for a bigger tin. I dont know how big the tin was plus I also live in canada so maybe the price is different from wher you live?

 

The formula I use is Similac Organic, which is $28 US per can, or around $31 CDN. (Thank you Google converter.) The non-organic powdered formula can run anywhere from $20-$25 US, or $22-$28 CDN. If he eats the most recommended by pediatricians (32 ounces per day), we'll be buying about 5 cans per month. Babies have to be on formula or breast milk until they're a year old, after which you can give them cow's milk.

 

Formula will be our biggest expense. Nearly $170 per month is a lot of ducats.

[annie24]

paisley - all in all - how much money do you spend per month on your baby?

 

I don't think I'll ever be able to afford to raise kids! yikes!!!!

[southerngirl]

About spending money on babies. My toddler is now off formula (WOOHOO) so I dont have to buy that anymore. But, I still have to buy a BIG box of huggies diapers every 2 weeks. I am lucky and found a good price where I pay $20 something for 98 diapers. However, I need to do this every 2 weeks.

 

This kid grows outa shoes like you wouldnt believe and clothes! Sure, when they are little he seemed to have clothes enough just given to us, but now that he is getting older we must buy all this. Then weekly, there are things I buy that I may not otherwise just for him. Snacks, fruit cups, soups, gerber snacks, sippy cups, juices.. Not to mention he drinks alot of milk. I bet you add at least 20 dollars a week on the adverage to our grocery bill for extra's that are just for him.

[Maria1980]

Not everyone can breastfeed for the entire first year, or at all. Many people choose to turn to formula to either supplement or completely feed their children.

 

 

oh I know that, it's just some ppl can breast feed and don't want too, that was my point, I'm just saying that if you are able too, to do so

[rocio]

What about the cost of childcare? I have no clue what it costs in your area. But here in Ottawa it's pricy. My workmate pays $40 per day for her 1 year old and $30 per day for her 4 year old.

 

That's $70/day just for daycare. Pretty scary.

[glegend]

What about the cost of childcare?

 

Im not sure what the cost for childcare in my area is. I believe it is around the same as in Ottowas, cause I live in Toronto. But I could probably get my grandparents to babysit since they are retired and dont do anything except go to the mall and walk around to get excersise.

[glegend]

hey - I think you should totally go for your dream. that sounds awesome, and you and your gf would make a good team.

 

What part of the dream, having a baby or the rest of the dream?

[rocio]

Im not sure what the cost for childcare in my area is. I believe it is around the same as in Ottowas, cause I live in Toronto. But I could probably get my grandparents to babysit since they are retired and dont do anything except go to the mall and walk around to get excersise.

 

I think it's more in t.o. and, if you are going to expect your grandparents to help you raise your child, maybe you should discuss this whole idea with them first.

 

Don't just take our bossy advice, sit down with your parents and grandparents and get their opinion. Let us know what happens.

[rocio]

Oh, but being in Canada definitly helps. You don't have to be afraid of the kinds of nightmare stories that happen to people in the U.S. when they can't afford their hospital bills.

 

Go Canada!

 

(But not for much longer. Grr... Mr. Harper!)

[glegend]

I think it's more in t.o. and, if you are going to expect your grandparents to help you raise your child, maybe you should discuss this whole idea with them first.

 

Don't just take our bossy advice, sit down with your parents and grandparents and get their opinion. Let us know what happens.

 

Well sittng down with our parents and my grandparents is going to be step 2/3 right now im still at setp 1/3. But I will definatly post what happens.

[glegend]

Oh, but being in Canada definitly helps. You don't have to be afraid of the kinds of nightmare stories that happen to people in the U.S. when they can't afford their hospital bills.

 

Go Canada!

 

(But not for much longer. Grr... Mr. Harper!)

 

Exactly I wont have to worry about those nihgtmare stories that you like see on Home Makeover where the parents have nomore money due to hospital bills. Al long as Harper doesnt make hositals semi-private then im good but I dont think that "bill" will pass.

[Royltnxile]

I just read through this thread because it appeared on the main page of this site. It shocks me that you are actually considering bringing a child into the world when you and your g/f are still children yourself. (17)

 

You are both 17 years old

You work a minimum wage job (maybe a little more, I'm guessing)

Your girlfriend has no job. (good luck to her getting one if she became pregnant..most employers don't hire people who are going to leave in a few months)

You both live with your parents

You have been together since grade 7? Neither of you have experienced other people and other relationships. - not good

Neither of you have any idea of the costs, the sacrifices, the complete and total change in your lives that would come with a baby.

 

For you and your g/f to get pregnant at this point in your lives would be the epitome of irresponsibility, not only to both of you, but to your parents...and ultimately...to the child.

 

What about your dreams? Seems to me like you have a good head on your shoulders and have some real plans for your future. If you get her pregnant, then you can kiss all of those plans goodbye, my friend.

 

IMO - and others have suggested it, if she continues to push for this, I would see this as a serious red flag and consider dumping her. From what I have read, it seems like your g/f wants to get pregnant because she thinks that having a child would be "fun" or "neat", ...and that's extremely selfish on her part. I would be very very very careful about having sex with her...wear a condom, and don't even "fire the gun downrange" if you know what I mean. It's the oldest trick in the book - if she wants a baby so badly, then she will do everything she can to try and insure conception occurs. Cover your azz, is what I'm saying. Not trying to make her sound evil, but it happens all the time. Maybe she wants a baby to assure that you stay attached to her? Others have suggested that as well.

 

My suggestion is to be responsible and follow these steps before even thinking about having a baby:

 

1. Graduate from high school

2. Go to college or get careers with potential that pay decently (both of you)

3. Become financially secure

4. Get married

5. Have baby

 

Very simple.

 

Oh, to the poster who suggested that these two will have it made because they live in Canada - socialized medicine doesn't give people the right to irresponsibly have children when they have no means to support them.

[glegend]

Maybe she wants a baby to assure that you stay attached to her?

 

Oh, to the poster who suggested that these two will have it made because they live in Canada - socialized medicine doesn't give people the right to irresponsibly have children when they have no means to support them.

 

 

 

Well she knows that Im not just going to dump her, right like its possible that she may be thinking Im going to leave her and by having a baby will make me stay around. But like I said Im not planning on leaving her just like that there would have to be a serious reason. I never said that by having free meidcare that people can have children just like that all I was implying was that I wouldnt have all these hospital bills totalling up to kliek 200gran

[rocio]

 

Oh, to the poster who suggested that these two will have it made because they live in Canada - socialized medicine doesn't give people the right to irresponsibly have children when they have no means to support them.

 

Please, before you speak to me in that patronising and condescending way, read my previous posts in this thread so that you will have a better understanding of my opinion on this issue. I feel like you were unneccessarily rude to me here.

 

And I think it's already been established that this guy is NOT going to break up with his girlfriend of 5 years to whom he would like to marry and spend the rest of his life with.

[Jayar]

Oh my... I make about $60K per year (just graduated, first job) and I can just nicely afford my apartment and bills (cable, internet, phone) as well as a safe vehicle (SUV). The government takes almost $20K off in TAXES and I cannot believe this is the type of thing that money goes to support. As a fellow Ontarian, please boy, keep it in your pants. Thanks!

 

Edited to Add:

 

If you don't go to post-secondary of any sort, unless you become a drug dealer at Jane/Finch, you can't even dream of making the kind of money you will START OUT making as a graduate. That's something to consider. Do you like your truck? I hope so because if you have a baby you're going to be driving that thing into the ground... You won't be getting a new vehicle any time soon.

[justpaisley]

paisley - all in all - how much money do you spend per month on your baby?

 

I don't think I'll ever be able to afford to raise kids! yikes!!!!

 

Lordy, I have no idea. It's not just the big stuff, the obvious stuff, that we're spending ridiculous amounts of money on. It's unbelievable - every time I turn around, it's something. Neither I nor my husband feel like cooking at night - we're both pretty tapped on sleep - so one of us generally winds up running out to get some food. His dang bottles are like $7 apiece. His announcements were $180 with postage, but I designed them myself on link removed so that was kind of extravagant. The fact that we're organic hippies adds on the money, too - I won't buy any concentrated juice or anything with added sugar, even though it's cheaper. Right now he's not eating too much formula because I still have breast milk stored in the freezer, but that'll be running out in about 2 weeks. He's eating about 30 ounces a day now, so that $170 per month will kick in as soon as he runs out of breast milk. Yee-haw.

 

Also, he was born almost 3 months early, and spent 2 months in the NICU. My husband and I spent quite a bit of money on gas driving 40 miles a day. (It's 10 miles away from our house, and I went there once a day by myself and went once a day with my husband.) We also bought a lot of fast food and cafeteria food because we'd leave our house to go to visit our son as soon as my husband got home from work, not leaving us a whole lot of time to eat at home. Talk about your unexpected expense.

 

Thank God I don't work... daycares around here run at least $400 a month. The good ones are closer to $500, and have a 2-year waiting list. I have a friend who's not even TRYING for a kid, but she's already on a waiting list.

 

You just have to expect the unexpected, and have some scratch in the bank to cover anything you didn't think of initially. I nearly wore a hole in my debit card from handing it to people all day every day.

[justpaisley]

Do you like your truck? I hope so because if you have a baby you're going to be driving that thing into the ground... You won't be getting a new vehicle any time soon.

 

glegend: You said your truck is a 2-door? I can hardly cram my kid's car seat into the back of my Jeep Cherokee. Good luck wrestling the behemoth car seats kids need these days into the back of a 2-door.

[glegend]

Do you like your truck?

 

I love my truck. Its like my dream truck I've spent so much of my spare time fixing it up. It used to me my granpa's (my father's father) but after he got sick he couldnt drive it around and so it just stayed in the drive way rusting and some parts started so seize. So my graapa left it to me in his will so I took epaired the body work, changhed some parts, put performance filters and some inexpensive performance parts on it dropped it about 2.5 inches and painted it gun metal silver plus the euro tail lights so yeah I love my truck.

[glegend]

glegend: You said your truck is a 2-door? I can hardly cram my kid's car seat into the back of my Jeep Cherokee. Good luck wrestling the behemoth car seats kids need these days into the back of a 2-door.

 

Yeah my truck is a 2 door Jimmy. It wont be that much of a problem getiing a kid in the back seat. I get my sister and firends in with no problem so I dont think getting my girlfriend and a baby in the back would be difficult. As for you Cherokee, space is a problem with them (seating wise) the arent that roomy even the Grand Cheroke isnt that roomy.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

having a child is NOT a good way to figure out what you want to do with your life... figure that out first, then when you have the means and ability to care for the child and enjoy it fully, when you are no longer in school and have the means, THEN have the child.

 

and make sure you girlfriend doesn't make a unilateral decision for you because she is bored or wants a baby, like a girl wants a babydoll... babies take lots of care, love, and money to support, so don't rush into this from a sense of boredom or not knowing exactly what to do next with your life...

[DizzyDoris]

Whooo i finally got to the end of this long thread

 

Going back to the start, you asked about the late night feeds, as a mother of two i can tell you that a small baby obviously has a small stomach, thereforeeee needs feeding every 2-3 hours. Please bear in mind by the time baby has drunk the milk and been burped afterwards feeding can take up to 45 mins to an hour!!

 

You already know the financial costs, only one person on here has told you to go for this!

 

I was 20 and 23 when i had my kids, and although i wouldnt be without them now, i do wish i'd waited till i was older. I have missed out on so many experiences, travel, education etc and yeah I can do them when my kids are grown, but come on, its not the same as doing it in your youth!

 

Also me and their father were together 3 1/2 years when i got pregnant and moved in together at 6 months gone, we only had 3 months of "our" time before being parents!

 

Im gonna recomend the same as everyone else, enjoy your youth, further your education, live together first. Babies are so demanding, and will change your life forever. I dont want to patronise you both but i remember being your age and feeling so grown up. You still have so much growing to do, why rush that? Just enjoy your youth while you can!

 

Ultimately its up to you two and good luck whatever you decide, and somehow you would manage, but do you want to have to struggle and just manage or wouldnt it be best to wait and thrive?

[glegend]

do you want to have to struggle and just manage or wouldnt it be best to wait and thrive?

 

Well no one just wants to struggle and just manage right? you always want to be able to provide for things that your parents provided you and the things that they weren't able to provide you

[rocio]

Well no one just wants to struggle and just manage right? you always want to be able to provide for things that your parents provided you and the things that they weren't able to provide you

 

Exactly. And although I know your parents got by on only a small income, you probably have no idea how hard it was for them.

 

My mother sacrificed soooo much for us kids and we never had much. But it wasn't her fault. She had a college degree. But my father passed away, leaving her with 3 children: aged 2, 4 and 5! After seeing the way she struggled, I said I would never put myself in that postion.

 

Remember, life throws alot of curve balls, and it's better to have the resources to be able to deal with that. (ie: independence, savings, security, private insurance, college degrees, etc.)