Girlfriend wants to get pregnant!

[InaneCathode]

Dude, seriously. You don't want that, not for a LONG while. Neither you, nor her, are mentally developed enough to be able to handle a child responsibily.

(not saying you're retarded, just saying at that age parts of your brain dealing with responsibility, impulse control, and consequences arent yet developed fully)

[hogan10]

Had a similar experience. I was 21 and my girlfriend was 17.She wanted a baby more than anything.I went along with it thinking it would put us together forever.It didn't.The stress of trying to provide for such an expensive luxury at that age was too much.

 

thats my story I'm not suggesting the same will happen to you, but you will both enjoy being parents much more if you have the necessities in place.Home,steady income etc."Don't buy the cart if you haven't got a horse to pull it".Pushing is no fun.

 

good luck with whatever you decide.

[glegend]

Had a similar experience. I was 21 and my girlfriend was 17.She wanted a baby more than anything.I went along with it thinking it would put us together forever.It didn't.The stress of trying to provide for such an expensive luxury at that age was too much.

 

thats my story I'm not suggesting the same will happen to you, but you will both enjoy being parents much more if you have the necessities in place.Home,steady income etc."Don't buy the cart if you haven't got a horse to pull it".Pushing is no fun.

 

good luck with whatever you decide.

 

2 questions. How did it work out for you? And would that have been considered sactuatory rape?

[ReadyorNot]

As much as I love babies and have always wanted one, I am sooooo glad I didnt go ahead and try to get pregnant when I was young...

 

I love my husband (been together for 6.5 years) and I cant wait until we make a little baby but our lives would be SOOOO different if we had a baby already.... we can do whatever we want, whenever we want... we only have to make sure the cats have food and water, and we have money (not much) to spend on new furniture and other things...

 

The way it hopefully works for us is as soon as we are done paying for our new furniture we will have to start buying a crib etc etc.... Im happy I waited...

[hogan10]

2 questions. How did it work out for you? And would that have been considered sactuatory rape?

 

It didn't work very well for me, but we both still love our daughter. We split when my daughter was 2years old,though stayed in touch.

No it was not statutory rape I am from the UK where our age of consent is 16years

[Hope75]

Hey There,

 

Everyone has given you some really good advice already.

 

You've heard that a baby is completely life altering, selfish, demanding and needy, and that your life no longer is your own. Not to mention that they cost a bloody fortune.

 

 

Do you live out on your own? Support yourself? Support your gf? Have your own health insurance? Earn enough to support 3 plus health insurance for all 3 of you? Pay the bills, rent, utilities, own a car, buy groceries?

 

I know it seems like alot, those are all things you will need to do and have- as well as maturity and stable relationship, life experience and a college education. I don't know any 17 year olds who are ready for this type of responsibilty.

 

Enjoy your youth and each other while you have it- don't ruin your life on a foolish mistake. You can and will have children when you both are older and more prepared- if you are still together and still want that.

[PittItaliano]

Babies cost money, and if you think that the two of you can support a baby and yourselves on your best buy wages I have to say you are most likely wrong. Babies go through diapers like crazy, grow out of clothing before you know it, and constantly need fed.

 

Are you able to live on your own? Because if you are both going to be living in a parents house I don't think you should be trying to have children yet? I take it that neither one of you is planning on college because you can't do that with a baby.

 

Wait until you are older, you have so much time. Believe me, I understand that it can be hard when you are in a long term relationship that you want to end in marriage when you are young. I'm still with my high school sweetheart, you just have to realize that you have time. Enjoy being teens and being able to go out to the movies on the weekend with friends, or out to dinner with just each other.

 

If you wait I'm sure you would also be providing a better life for your future baby as well. A baby isn't something you can just change your mind on and unless you are able to continually support a family for 18 years (both emotionally and finacially), don't do it.

[xmrth]

I've gone through months where I want a baby so badly... and then I get afraid and think NO, I could never... not now, and think about all the things coming up I'd never be able to do that I will have to let pass by.

 

It's different for everyone, and I hate to say it but the both of you WILL miss out on so many things, and you will NOT have much for either yourselves, or the baby. They're so much money. Everything within that world is so much money-- outside of living at home, the world is so much different. Even if you both do a lot of things on your own, you have no idea.

 

I think someone said get her a dog? I'm not kidding-- that's a GOOD idea. You could BOTH take care of it, take it for walks, feed it, take it outside to go to the bathroom... and you're going to see how much is involved in that, as much as you'll love it. Seriously, get a dog.

[glegend]

Do you live out on your own? Support yourself? Support your gf? Have your own health insurance? Earn enough to support 3 plus health insurance for all 3 of you? Pay the bills, rent, utilities, own a car, buy groceries?

 

 

I live in my attic well its one of those furnished attics that are not really attics, they are like a 1/2 story. Well I work so yeah I basically support myself. I dont really support my girl. My dad has health insurance that he has bought from the bank for his business, so im under that. Currently I only work 16-20 hours a week at 8.50/hour + 12% comission of every extended warrty I sell (Extended warraties are around 30 dollars). I only pay my cell phone bill and my gas bill. So bills come to 65 for cell phone (I have the old city fido from rogers fido) and like 50 for gas. For car I own a gun metal silver 1992 GMC Jimmy 2 door, lowered 2". As for utilities, rent and other bills then no.

[RileyRedleg05]

Let me break it down brosef!

 

Im a commitment sort of guy, yeah, sounds girly/metrosexual, whathave you, I want the picket fence, and the family nights, and even the occasional "honey Im home...bring the beer and is Dinner Ready?" sort of mentality.

 

But then I babysat my nephew, and he was a complete terror. I love my Godson, but i'd rather speak to him when he's not running into a wall with sharp objects, or taking my laptop and using it as a baseball, or what other destructive adventure his mind can come up with.

 

Essentially..if you want a kid...then babysit one...maybe for a few hours. Preferably a kid you dont see a lot, that way im sure you'll get Junior who is 1)will definitely want to be around you after his parents drop him off with a stranger and drive away ..and 2) will be on his BEST behavior!

 

Lastly...Best Buy is great and all..but last time i checked..Best Buy doesn't sell pampers...so the employee discount aint gonna cut it champ!

[glegend]

Im a commitment sort of guy, yeah, sounds girly/metrosexual,

 

Lastly...Best Buy is great and all..but last time i checked..Best Buy doesn't sell pampers...so the employee discount aint gonna cut it champ!

 

Im a commitment type of guy as well. Ive been going out with my girl for 5 years if thats not commitment then what it. And you are right Best Buy doesnt sell diapers or baby essential so the employee discount doesn't. On a side note what does help is I make 12% on every extended warranty I sell.

[southerngirl]

So do you think that on your income you could support a child?

 

If a child were born would you drop out of school to work full time?

 

Do you plan to go to college? What are your plans when school is over after this year?

[xmrth]

Best Buy really isn't going to cover what you need-- no offense, but you're not making much money. Not enough to live on your own or pay for a child or any of that. It suits your age and what you NEED at your age right now.

[glegend]

So do you think that on your income you could support a child?

 

If a child were born would you drop out of school to work full time?

 

Do you plan to go to college? What are your plans when school is over after this year?

 

 

 

To tell you the truth I could provide for a child on that income. My mom only makes 1.75/hour more then me and she is providing for me, my sister and my dad. Ok my dad works but he is on comisson so he doesnt get paid until the work is done. So basically until my dad gets paid my mom supports us.

As for my plans after school I have no clue anymore so much has happened withing the past few months to a year I have no clue anymore.

As for dropping out of school I think by the time the baby were to be born me and my girlfriend would be either finished high school, writing our exams, or maybe have a few weeks of school left.

[southerngirl]

What has happened in the past few months to where your not sure about college?

 

What do you want to be doing with your life in 10 years?

 

How do you plan to get there?

[glegend]

Best Buy really isn't going to cover what you need-- no offense, but you're not making much money. Not enough to live on your own or pay for a child or any of that. It suits your age and what you NEED at your age right now.

 

I know what I am making is not alot of money, but I am making some money.

[RileyRedleg05]

apparently you are impervious to my use of metaphors, analogies and "really really big words!"

 

Since you're a big boy, im not going to even attempt to "break it down" for you into tiny chunks. Do some research on these topics:

 

1) A minor having a child and economical concerns therein

2) Depedants of a Dependant! (Cross reference healthcare coverage) Will you get your own healthcare plan, or are you ASSUMING daddy's will cover your lovechild

3) independent (in regards to taxes, and healthcare) if you settle down...are you ready to carry all financial burdens for this child?

4) If becoming independent, does car insurance now become your responsibility?

5) Parental support! Do they know your intelligent scheme to bring life into the world.

 

 

Next, look at your flawed logic:

"My mom works, and so does my dad on just a slightly higher income"

 

Reason for flaw: Your girlfriend wont be working while she's poppin the kid out. thereforeeee yes, you'll be relying on that extra 1.75 that your mom doesn't make. And think of this scenario lasting...oh say...a year ATLEAST. But then wait!

 

Childcare!...will she stay at home...say until...the kids is two?

 

If you haven't even reached the cusp of these topics, you are unfit for parenthood. Don't punish a child for your stupidity. Don't get me wrong...im sure Retail is rewarding...but the young-boyhood charm of selling warranties is going to wear-off say...when people realize extended warranties are BS! or when you hit an age unattractive to customers as naive as yourself.

 

Best Buy sounds like a great job, I once worked retail when I was 18...but thats the point....I was 18...im 23 now...i get whats called "a salary!"

[gnabna]

Please buy her a puppy...

[justpaisley]

To tell you the truth I could provide for a child on that income. My mom only makes 1.75/hour more then me and she is providing for me, my sister and my dad. Ok my dad works but he is on comisson so he doesnt get paid until the work is done. So basically until my dad gets paid my mom supports us.

As for my plans after school I have no clue anymore so much has happened withing the past few months to a year I have no clue anymore.

As for dropping out of school I think by the time the baby were to be born me and my girlfriend would be either finished high school, writing our exams, or maybe have a few weeks of school left.

 

No, you couldn't. No indeed. My husband makes... well, a LOT of money, and even we've had to dip into our savings since we had our son 4 months ago. You said you basically support yourself, so your mom's basically not paying for much for you. Plus, she DOES get the money from your dad to support the three of you, so you need to count that.

 

Have you even considered the medical costs of having a baby? My hospital stay - just for me alone! - was $65,000. My son's hospital bill was nearly $200,000. Would you be prepared for that kind of thing? Your dad's insurance won't cover your girlfriend's hospital stay or your child's birth. You'll be in the hole for at least $100K, unless you're wanting to just let your girlfriend pay for her own medical bills.

 

Do you know how much cribs cost? Formula? Diapers? Medicine? Visits to the doctor every 2 months for the first year? Vaccinations? Prescriptions? Babysitters? Clothes? Baby announcements? Shoes? Car seats? Bottles? Bassinets? Day care? Strollers? There's no guarantee your child will be born healthy - mine wasn't - what if your baby has special needs? Would you be able to afford the medical equipment necessary to support a child with cerebral palsy? Severe asthma? Even glasses?

 

On $8.50 an hour, unless you're making a LOT on commissions, there is no way you could afford a child unless your girlfriend went on the government's dole. Please don't do that. I don't want to pay for your irresponsibility. Please, at best, urge your girlfriend to get the therapy necessary to find out what's really missing in her life. At least, get her a puppy. And for goodness' sakes, STOP HAVING SEX WITH HER. If she really wants a baby, she'll poke holes in the condoms.

 

In the past 3 days, I've had 9 hours of sleep, total. My son is going through a growth spurt and is hella cranky, and will not sleep for more than a few hours at a time. My husband does a great job of helping, but with graduate classes and work, he needs sleep more than I do. While I appreciate that you're a hard worker, this is much more than hard work. It's the most taxing thing you'll ever go through, and it's the rest of your life.

[glegend]

Do you know how much cribs cost? Formula? Diapers? Medicine? Visits to the doctor every 2 months for the first year? Vaccinations? Prescriptions? Babysitters? Clothes? Baby announcements? Shoes? Car seats? Bottles? Bassinets? Day care? Strollers? There's no guarantee your child will be born healthy - mine wasn't - what if your baby has special needs? Would you be able to afford the medical equipment necessary to support a child with cerebral palsy? Severe asthma? Even glasses?

 

 

Forula: $10/can

Diapers: $30/bag

Medicine: price fluxuates

Doctor live in Ontario free healthcare

Clothes: $10-$60

Shoes: $10-$50 (50 for nike addidas puma timberland)

Car seat: Have it from when my sister was born 10 years ago

Stroller: Have it from when my sister was born 10 years ago

[glegend]

Please, at best, urge your girlfriend to get the therapy necessary to find out what's really missing in her life.

 

Well mabe therapy is the best option and maybe I should go as well

[ImThatGirl]

Please, please both of you go to counseling. Or maybe just re-focus!

 

Focus on what you will do with your lives. Focus on getting Married when you finish school at least!

 

I have a couple of questions for you:

 

WHY do you think having a baby is a good idea?

 

Have you EVER been around babies for more than an hour? Have either of you cared for a baby?

 

I am a single mother. I'm 28 and have two children. First one born when I was 22. Does your girlfriend plan on working as well? Yes, you may be able to "afford" things you need and "get by" but wouldn't it be much better if you both grew up first and gained stability before bringing a child into the world?

 

I make well above your $8.50 an hour. And I struggle with buying necessities. You may as well have not even priced those adidas tennis shoes because on the money you're making, you'll be lucky to buy the cheap ones from the department store. And dear, you also need to check to see if any safety standards have changed before you borrow a car seat from 10 years ago. Come on already!

 

Why are you considering this?? Why is she?

[rocio]

I would have to respectfully disagree with many of the posts here.

 

I don't necessarily think that a girl requires counciling just because she would like to have a baby. That is a natural desire. I wanted a child since I was about 15 or 16 (but waited until I was 25.) My mother also wanted kids since she was 16 (but waited until 31.)

 

I would like to ask the same question as I'mThatGirl: Why do you want this? Why does your gf want this? I am curious to hear the reasons.

 

You don't have to completely abandon the idea of having a child with her. But don't rush into it. If you are really serious, then finish school (you are almost done). Then move out and support yourself for at least a year. In the meantime, go out of your way to spend time with children. Babysit on weekends or befriend someone with little kids. See if it's really what you want.

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting children, and it doesn't mean that you are empty or immature.

[jengh]

Please buy her a puppy...

 

That really is a great idea... With puppies, you have to get up in the middle of the night to let them out, feed them, vet bills, etc... they're hard work.. think of how hard it would be do raise a child. At least puppies grow up to be dogs who can be left alone all day.

 

Like everyone else has said...

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10?

Can you honestly tell me you want to have a child and live in your parents' attic for the foreseeable (the spelling on that looks wrong) future?

And yes, babies are expensive. Like mentioned in a previous post, I read the statistics of $200,000 also.

But on top of the baby, what about providing for YOU and your GIRLFRIEND? Do you honestly think your dad's health insurance is going to cover you, her and a child? It's not going to happen. What about little things like maternity clothes, food (your parents aren't going to be happy feeding 2 extra mouths)..

 

Do you have any interest at all to go to college? What about her? While it IS possible, it is SO hard to get a good education while trying to also raise a child.

 

And think of the baby... When you eventually DO have that child, don't you want it to have the best possible life? Do you want it to grow up poor, on wellfare, unable to have nice Christmases (or hannakuhs, whichever), nice clothing...

 

It's great that you want to be in a commited relationship and want a family, but for your girlfriend's sake, your sake, and your future child's sake... wait.

 

Honestly, what is the rush? Enjoy life. Enjoy being together, just the two of you because when you have that baby, your alone time is history.

[southerngirl]

Car seat: Have it from when my sister was born 10 years ago

Stroller: Have it from when my sister was born 10 years ago

 

These will not work sorry to burst your bubble. But if the carseat is more than 2 years old you can not be sure its up to current safety standards. You will need a new carseat and possibly a stroller.

 

 

You will also need alot more than you listed in your post and you can multiply those prices exponentially for the amount of things you will need.