glegend Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 What about friends and activities? Do you have enough of those things? Well I have friends my girlfriend has friend as well but we know they are not there friends because they make fun or her. So we mostly hang out with my two good friends. Activities, we dont take part in those much. We do go to the occasinal all ages club when there is going to be a turn out. But besides that the only other activity that I part take in is just some automotive work(oil changesm, body work, minor repairs that can be done at home) Link to comment
glegend Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 I was also curious to know if you'd discussed this with your parents yet? No not yet. If we do decide to go through with it and have a baby then I will discuss it with my parents as well as my girlfriends parents. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 So what have you decided, if anything? Have you discussed the topic with your girlfriend lately, and if so - what was her reaction? Still have not decided, but Im geared more in the direction of getting married first and then take it from there. Ny girlfriend did bring the topic up many times earlier today when we went out. But I either changed the topic before she can say anything or be like "ohh it my favourite song on the radio lets put it up louder" Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 hey - I think getting married first is also a good step. plus, don't you think it would be nice to have a few years to yourselves, as a young couple? so you don't have to wake up every 2 hours in the middle of the night to feed and change the baby? Link to comment
piegirl Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I did not read through all the post but I did want to comment. I am 28 years old and I have 8 year old identical twin daughters. Let me first say that they are the loves of my life and nothing could ever change that. Now, reality I was 20 when my daughters were born. I did not go to college Who has time with a baby at home and working full time. Who can afford it. Sure there are grants and so forth but babysitting is costly. Do you know what diapers cost? Dp you know what formula costs? What clothign costs? A child is a life long commitment, nothing short of that. A child can be a great joy to a parent. Those joys do not come without a price. That price is time, worry, money is the least of it. If I could do it all over again, I would have gotten a great job (by going to college) so that money was not such a worry. I would have matured myself more so that I could handle to big things easier with that maturity. To say it again please wait, allow yourself to live before trying to raise someone else. Allow yourself to experience things you may not get the chance to do again after having a child. Do it for yourself as well as any child that you will someday have. As far as your girlfriend goes she should think about these same things. If you are truley meant to be together then what is another 5 years before you have a child. Hope you make a wise decision. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 21, 2006 Author Share Posted October 21, 2006 Do you know what diapers cost? Do you know what formula costs? What clothing costs? Prices might be slightly off $30 for Pampers or Huggies diapers $50 for the really big bag. Baby wipes $5. Forumla under $10 per tin, I dont know what the wieght is. Clothing varies from $10/$15-$50. Car seat $89+. Stroller $99+. Link to comment
cichlid Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 You seriously need to watch 30 days: minimum wage. I'm completely serious. You will see just how much a tiny wage will get you in life. And how much kids really cost...I watched it in my sociology class since we were talking about upper class, lower class and all that fun stuff. The guy from Supersize Me and his fiance both worked and had like $15 per hour or something like that combined and were still having troubles making ends meet. Go to college...get a good job...then think about kids! Link to comment
InaneCathode Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 A baby isnt a car you have to change the oil and put gas in, in the way that a baby doesn't have nominal costs. It ALWAYS ends up costing you exponentially more than you've figured. Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Look, children are a terrible idea at any age. Particularly for you. It would be absurd to have a baby in your situation, with your knowledge, at your age. I appreciate some girls THINK they want a baby when in actual fact all they want is unconditional love and so forth, but come on, now! Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I appreciate some girls THINK they want a baby when in actual fact all they want is unconditional love and so forth, but come on, now! I think ALS has a good point - I think young girls want a baby because they think it will be a source of unconditional love. If that's what she wants, she should get a puppy instead. it will be something to love, that will love you back. puppies also take a lot of time to care for, so that would be a good transition for her into motherhood, hopefully 5 years later. Link to comment
justpaisley Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 It ALWAYS ends up costing you exponentially more than you've figured. People without children could never understand the profundity of this statement. It's unbelievable the little things you have to buy on a weekly basis for your child's upkeep in the first few months of life. Expensive things too. Stuff you forgot to register for, stuff you forgot to get before the baby was born, stuff you didn't realize you needed until after the baby was born. Even things indirectly related to the baby. It's amazing. Link to comment
rocio Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Look, children are a terrible idea at any age. Excuse me.. Just who do you think you are? Do you realise this is posted under Pregnancy and many of us are... ummm.. pregnant? Without children, there would be no people, and without people, there would be no world for you to look down upon from your lofty throne. Please, show some respect. Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I was joking. I'm sorry my cynical sense of humour wasn't read as a recognition of the sheer hard work of parenthood. I think I'm amazing. (that was also a joke...see how my warped humour works?) Read any of my posts and I think I'm SCUM, actually. I like to vent. Sorry for offending you. I no longer have a social life because I don't want to impose my terrible self on other people. I KNOW how horrible I am, thanks. Link to comment
InaneCathode Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 ALS, you're obviously a terrible person!! Link to comment
forza2 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 glegend, Having a child at such a young age has its ups and downs: Ups: > You gonna be young once the kid grows up. By the time he/she's out of high school you're in your late 30's which means you can play ball with your kid as you're young, etc... Downs: > You'll never going to experience freedom. Once your high school is over you gonna be pinned down to a kid and you will have responsibilities. > Cost of Mortgage, Car payments, food, clothes, insurance, emergencies, diapers, formulas, medications, etc... Get her a Dog, and get it over with. If I were you I would dump her if she keeps pushing for it. Sounds to me like she wants a baby now so she can keep you around, then instead of you following your dreams (if any) you gonna have to work and provide. There are alotta people who pulled it off at young ages, but the number of people who had babies at such young age and regret it is much higher than people who had babies at young ages and dont regret the decision. Its up to you and your gf, but you need to make sure that you can provide for the child and the mother till the time she work (if she ever), and again you dont wanna have a child and not be able to provide what other parents who are older and make more money are able to provide for their children. One of my friends is a 24 year old guy who has two daughters. He fell for having kids at young age. Now he pays child support and the price he pays for her two girls is more than a monthly payment on a Brand spanky new Porsche 911 GT3, and the sad part is that he gets to see the girls twice a week and he has to pay till they're 18 yrs old, and after that he's still the girls' father and there is no turning back. In my opinion kids are good to have, but at some point they are mistakes. Would Best Buy pay for emergencies? Would Best Buy pay for your kid's college? Would Best Buy pay enough for you to buy a house, your dream car and what ever other guys buy for their wives? You gonna have to make sacrifices man. Get her a dog! Link to comment
Hope75 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 So, Have you talked with your bf any more about this? I'm curious if you've brought up points discussed here with her and what her response was. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 If I were you I would dump her if she keeps pushing for it. Sounds to me like she wants a baby now so she can keep you around, then instead of you following your dreams (if any) you gonna have to work and provide. Would Best Buy pay for emergencies? Would Best Buy pay for your kid's college? Would Best Buy pay enough for you to buy a house, your dream car and what ever other guys buy for their wives? Dumping here would be like the best idea to get her to stop bugging me to have a kid. But I love her to death and we've been going out for so long that I dont want to leave her. Shes one of those girls that you dont come accross often. Plus I'm also very shy when it comes to asking girls out, my buddie had to practically ask her out for me. Dreams right now (career wise) basically is to get into that Automotive apprentice and then work in a shop for a while and after enough years of working for someone open my own mechanic shop speciallizing in practically anything (general repairs to suping up cars). Best buy wouldnt really pay for emergencies, but the apprenticeship I plan to get into will. Best buy couldnt be paid for by Best Buy. Dream car I have mine right now a Gunmetal Silver 1992 GMC Jimmy 2 Door its tuned to some extent but it could use a bit more work, but for a house and other goodies no. But as a automotive mechanic yeah. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 So, Have you talked with your gf any more about this? I'm curious if you've brought up points discussed here with her and what her response was. The topic came up when we were out last night. I mentioned to her to get married first, then after a few years of marriage then have a baby. I told her why dont we wait a bit at least till we are out of highschool. How are we going to pay for everything since she doesn't work. Where are we going to live. I also asked her if there is anything going on at home that I am unaware of, which is making her want a baby. If she wants to go to college or just work. She really liked the idea of getting married. She says if she does get pregnant then she will get a job for as long as she can work until she gives birth. College she still wants to go to college. As for where we will live she say's it probably wont bug her parents to live at her place, and maybe it wont mind my parents to live in my attic. She also says there is nothing going on at home. Link to comment
jengh Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 i'm very glad she acted rationally about this. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 i'm very glad she acted rationally about this. Same here but we are both going to have to have a few serious discussions on what we are going to do. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 At least she acknowledges some reality to the situation, although I still think that expecting your parents (or hers) to support you both as a young family would be completely unfair. As for working- why can't she work now? What's holding her back from getting a job? As a high school senior- she should be preparing if not already taking some initiative for paying for her own things and saving for her future. If she doesn't even work for her own money, she is not ready for the responsibility that parenting brings. She hasn't really lived in the 'real world' yet- where parents don't pay for adult children to get pregnant, and adults need to work to support themselves and their own. Keep bringing up these points to her- hopefully she will realize that this is a plan that is best kept to the future- after you are married and extablished in your own place with a little nest egg and you are actually working as a mechanic, seeing what the salary can support and actually doing that. Link to comment
Maria1980 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Prices might be slightly off $30 for Pampers or Huggies diapers $50 for the really big bag. Baby wipes $5. Forumla under $10 per tin, I dont know what the wieght is. Clothing varies from $10/$15-$50. Car seat $89+. Stroller $99+. Out of curiosity, why would you use FOrmula if she can breast feed, it's better for the baby.. The baby becomes more healthy and less alergic to things... make a big diffrence I find.. Link to comment
cichlid Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Prices might be slightly off ....Forumla under $10 per tin, I dont know what the wieght is. Actually formula goes from $18-$30...and the tins don't last that long! Link to comment
glegend Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 Out of curiosity, why would you use FOrmula if she can breast feed, it's better for the baby.. The baby becomes more healthy and less alergic to things... make a big diffrence I find.. Formula just came in ads one of the discussion topics within the thread. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 Actually formula goes from $18-$30...and the tins don't last that long! Maybe thats for a bigger tin. I dont know how big the tin was plus I also live in canada so maybe the price is different from wher you live? Link to comment
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