What have you learned from your last relationship?

[Me and myself]

I've been looking for my past relationships and I've learned a lot of things. I never dated too much in my life, I was always shy and insecure. Plus, I had a relationship of almost 15 years that gave me two beautifull kids but took from me what could have been a great experience about dating. I don't regret it, those 15 years were great, at least most part of them, but sometimes I think that being so much time with the same person didn't let me know other girls, emotionally speaking. So, what I've learn form the past relationship was:

 

- Don't put too many expectations right from the start

- Don't open your heart too soon, only the basics

- Break-up immediately as soon as you notice a red flag that makes you feel really unconfortable

- Do not react by accusing the other side

- Do not mention past relationships, even if they were not meaningfull

 

and some more.....

 

And what about you? What have you learned from your last relationship?

[amtjrtcet]

I was with my ex for 6 yrs. I learned:

 

You have to pick your battles very carefully, and let somethings just roll off your back.

 

Nothing is forever.

 

That having someone that knows ever single thing about you and still loves you is priceless and irreplaceable.

 

Eventually the butterflies and honeymoon phase is gone and there'd better be something to hold it together.

 

That you never truly stop caring about them even after you've left.

 

That you will always wonder what might have been.

[kermit]

-Don't believe everything you're told. Maintain a healthy amount of scepticism regarding other peoples pronouncements and promises regarding love and long term plans.

 

-Proceed slowly. Slow is always better (and safer) than fast.

[EvaGina]

Not to play games

[kermit]

I was with my ex for 6 yrs. I learned:

 

 

Eventually the butterflies and honeymoon phase is gone and there'd better be something to hold it together.

 

 

Yes, and no-one loves you 'the way you are' forever. People will always (eventually) try to change (improve?) you.

[freeindeed]

1. I learned that if more than 4 people who are not in your immediate family and that don't know each other all tell you that it's doesn't look like it will work out, you should listen. Not because other people are always right, but because if their unbiased, they can see something that's clouding your vision of this other person at the time.

 

2. If something is bothering you, speak up! One of the worst things is having resentment build up over time and just creat conflict. If you can talk openly about issues that bother either one of you, you have a better chance of making it in the long run.

 

3. Cut your expectations in half...then cut that in half....repeat 100x. There's nothing more disappointing than an unfullfilled expectation. The only ones you should have are expectations of yourself, you don't deserve anything from anybody else, and no one deserves to be treated as if they owe someone anything.

 

4. You have to like what you see right now in a person. You can't look at their potential...you'll spend forever waiting.

[HDD]

Communicate about everything, just say whatever is on your mind, get it out there, specially coming from different backgrounds.

People change, you have no control over it, it just happens.

if its real love that you shared, you will always have a part of you that will miss him/her in some form or the other, specially when they were your best friend.

if you think you found the love of your life, DONT WAIT!! get married, get engaged, whatever and hold on to them.

If its NOT meant to be, then its NOT meant to be. no use in wishing things could have been different.

No more coulda-shoulda-woulda. Just do the right thing and be honest with yourself.

[macgyver4ever]

 

4. You have to like what you see right now in a person. You can't look at their potential...you'll spend forever waiting.

 

That's a great one Freeindeed. I wish I could have realized that sooner.

 

 

-If your mate is acting shady and suspicious, there is probably a reason.

 

-Don't be with someone who cannot be honest and share their true feelings.

 

-If someone cannot love themselves, they cannot truly love another.

[Daligal83]

1. It's NOT better to be treated badly and stay in a relationship than to be single.

 

2. That they won't change or suddenly treat you the way you deserve.

 

3. If your SO won't spend time with your friends or family, move on.

 

4. If your SO won't spend time with your friends and family, but doesn't want you to either...RUN.

 

I could go on forever...

[ScreenagerX]

- Do not mention past relationships, even if they were not meaningfull

 

This is interesting as my GF & I know alot about each others previous relationships (I have just come out of a marriage) & neither of us have a problem with them. In fact I am more than comfortable hearing about hers. I'm not saying this works for everyone but it works for us

[mintblossom]

you can't go around dating just anyone and giving any person a chance because you will be like a doorknob - everyone will get a turn.

 

i learned i dont like guys that date indiscriminately and aren't more picky. that makes me uncomfortable.

 

i dont like guys that can sleep around and just stick their thing in girls they dont really know and dont care to know. i dont like men like that.

 

i learned that some people shave their head to hide the beginning of balding.

 

i learned that a person's character outweighs how they look...even though i need both to be happy.

 

i learned that someone who doesnt care about me, isnt worth my time, effort, energy, or feelings.

 

i've learned some people are very damaging. it costs me TOO much to be around them.

 

i've learned that we all make our own mistakes - just different ones.

[anggrace]

Don't forget what is really important to you. If its not at all important to the other person, it won't work.

 

I learned that really enjoy the company of a dog. (Sebastian

 

I learned that we can be friends even though the relationship didn't work.

 

I learned I have an endless amount of love inside to give.

[Shiva 2007]

[shiva 2007] Amen! Anngrace I agree 100% especially the company of a dog, end the endless amount of love inside to give, my ex. always complained about the love I have for my sister. We both have been through so much together and have a very special bond. Love is not finite.

 

Don't forget what is really important to you. If its not at all important to the other person, it won't work.

 

I learned that really enjoy the company of a dog. (Sebastian

 

I learned that we can be friends even though the relationship didn't work.

 

I learned I have an endless amount of love inside to give.

[Silentlyfor]

When any relationship ends, there is always pain for both parties.

 

Always share any feelings you have with your partner.

 

If your not happy with your partner, tell them and if the relationship ends, it ends.

 

Always be there for your partner first and foremost.

 

If your partner threatens to break up with you on a frequent basis, let them.

[astaro]

If someone cannot love themselves, they cannot truly love another.

 

i think this is a very good point.

 

personaly the most important thing i learned from this relashonship is that not all women are bad and some of them are actualy trust worthy

 

that no matter what being true to yourself is one of the most important things.

[JoeWho]

After 10 years with my ex I have learned:

 

Nothing is forever and feelings can and do change

 

Relationships require work

 

Communication is so important

 

Trust my gut feelings

[number5]

To be more aware and less naive.

[kate111]

To never live through someone else. You have to live for yourself.

[SadOldMan]

Ignored all the initial warning signs

 

Didn't address the problems

 

Took eachother for granted

 

Should have had an enotalone 12 years ago. Would have saved me a lot of hassle ;-)

[willow2900]

That love is complex and amazing - but sometimes not enough.

 

That I shouldn't give myself up in order to please others.

 

That losing a best friend and a lover is excruciating; but can be worked through.

 

That I need to put myself first, happy and healthy.

 

And to trust my gut.

[SweetJade]

1.)I learned that I must love and respect myself first before I can love another!

 

2.)Don't stick around with an abuser thinking he will change because he won't.

 

3.)I learned to not lookover the warning signs & keep trying but to move on because of them.

 

4.) If someone has no self respect for themselves, how can they possibly love me in the process??

 

5.)Just because someone says they love you doesn't actually mean they are sincere about it!

 

6.) The biggest thing I learn is to not go looking for love because most of the time you will find trouble and indeed I did!Love is unexpected and it comes out of the blue. Let love find you!

 

7.) Not to rely on a man or anyone for my happiness!

[devast]

What I learned from my past relationships including my most recent break-up?

 

"I am not having the same kind of person for a relationship again including myself"...

 

Which means.. If she wants to come back... She and I must be willing to work-out the differences that we have... Thus making us better for each other than ever... This applies to a new relationship too... You are a better person and your new partner should be someone you want better than the previous one...

 

Don't you think?

[NYCB]

trust your gut.

[rsxguy520]

with the ex for 3.5 years, things i have learned:

 

-no matter how long your with them, unless you're married or engaged, do not completely trust them 100% cause you never know they might do something behind your back.

 

-if a girl has a history of cheating, and tells you she won't do it to you and she learned her "lesson" chances are SHE will cheat on you.

 

-can't deal with clingy girls..

 

for me:

 

- i can't have too much expectations from them

- i can't push them to do something, even if its something postive, just got to let them do it on their own.

- i can't devote my Time 24/7 anymore, sometimes i need My Time and my time for myself

[finalcloud13]

I learned that I found the love of my life.

 

I learned where I went wrong that made the love of my life leave me.

 

I learned that I will not get over this love of my life.

 

I learned that I will die before I give up on the love of my life.

 

Everyday is a challenge to live through without her. I don't care what anyone says; I will fight for the love of my life or die trying.