Fruit Smoothie Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Well, my boyfriend proved himself to not be such a caring guy after all tonight. We were on the phone earlier, and I saw on some news site that Jennifer Aniston is sueing tabloids over a topless picture of her being published, or something along those lines. I mentioned it offhand to my boyfriend, and immediately got a... "...wow. Topless Jennifer Aniston? Wow. Oh God, babe, I'm sorry to say, but I would absolutely love to see that. I'm sorry. Is that bad? I would just love it." Really sweet, huh? I'm already pretty insecure as it is, so this only made my jealousies flare up. But when I brought it up to him, telling him that it upset me mainly because in some inner, silly way, I'm afraid he'd be comparing me to her, all he said was "oh, whatever." And besides, it was incredibly inconsiderate of him to say that to me. I don't expect him to be blind to beautiful women, he's only a man, but why does he think I need to hear those things? Link to comment
Tears May Fall Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 your poor boyfriend...he shouldnt have to refrain himself from being excited of seeing another woman naked, a celebrity for that matter. Any normal guy that you date is gonna have celebrities or any other people that they find attractive, and if they dont, theyre lying to you. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to another individual while being in a relationship. Its acting upon that attraction that would be wrong Do not let your insecurities penalize him for something YOU believe to be sooo wrong when in fact its just a normal reaction. This is all part of growing up and accepting reality for what it is. Those that dont want to accept reality are usually left as being insecure, jealous and angry. Now you wouldnt want to be that way would you? Insecurity and jealousy are probably the two biggest turnoffs in my book. Link to comment
Zaphod Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I think in your heart of hearts you wouldn't mind seeing topless Brad Pitt, so accept that. I think he was just being clumsy, like a little puppy. I wouldn't think much of it unless he makes a habit of it. Link to comment
grumbly_bum Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Yeah, even the most sweetest, most caring guy is always gonna kinda stuff up and hurting you was probably the last thing he intended by saying that. At least you know he's honest and all, and so long as he doesn't do it ALL the time I wouldn't try and worry too much about it. I can promise you that he thinks your the most beautiful person in the world, and he would pick seeing you over Jennifer Aniston topless any day. Link to comment
Fruit Smoothie Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 Tears May Fall, you're missing my point...I don't care that he finds Jennifer Aniston attractive. What I minded was his blunt way of feeling the need to inform me of the fact, it was just unneeded. And then to follow it up with his refusal to reassure me (by just saying "oh, whatever") upset me even more. Link to comment
Dako Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 First you stated you're insecure and jealous. Now you're blaming his tactless comments. Why not compromise and share the blame? Link to comment
FrancisHouseman Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 im insecure and I get jealous and I used to complain to my mates all the time "he knows me!! he knows what im like! why does he go 'oooh she is fit!!' when a woman comes on telly half naked! especially if she looks nothing like me!" but then I thought why should he walk on egg shells, watch what he says, LIE all the time when he around me, it could get tiring, just because im insecure. I noted that Troy was on the TV the other and i wanted to watch it, simply because I think Hector is really really fit and it made me laugh to think of all the times i have moaned that he has found some celebrity fit. If someone had a naked picture of Hector I would probably say "woo hoooooo!" whether my boyfriend was present or not! ha ha ha no body should have to walk on egg shells in a relationship incase it makes the other person cry. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I don't believe it when people say they *never* find other people attractive. And to be honest, I think I would much prefer it for my boyfriend to lust after Jennifer Aniston (who is gorgeous but completely unattainable!!) to the next door neighbour... Who do you lust after? I must say that I am pretty taken with Daniel Craig in Casino Royale! It doesn't *mean* anything, it's just...appreciation. Some good points here - you have to be less sensitive, he has to not make comments like that all the time. But to be honest, doesn't sound particularly terrible what he said. Link to comment
Leonhart Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 It seems buying him a subscription to Playboy is in order. Link to comment
lizziebee Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Jennifer Aniston TOOTHLESS!? Sorry it was what I saw on my bleary eyed morning screen! Are you serious? It upsets you that he wanted to see the pics? I am the kind of person that would have just showed the pics to my bf. I point out good looking women to him, not just for him but you have to appreciate the beauty in life. Some men do not even think what women think is beautiful or sexy is nearly as sexy as a womans voice or laugh. You gotta get yourself together babe. Some men watch women like a sport! I like watching men watching women and if you have never done this you would be surprised at what they think is a turn on...Not what you think. But my dear girl you must do the foot work yourself.... Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I'm angered that every time I see a post similar to this...the OP is attacked as though she's feeling something entirely out of the norm. A LOT of women feel this way and thereforeeee it is something that should be addressed and not squelched. The typical American male may find this behaviour normal, but maybe the typical American female doesn't. Instead of telling her to "seek help" maybe you could actually consider that so many women feel insecure about this for a justified reason. I don't give a flying loop about what the typical male does...the typical male is an ignoramus...I only care about what my SO does...and part of me wouldn't like him ogling at other women either. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 It was tactless of him to say what he said the way he did however I dont think this is something to make a big deal out of. If anything tell him how much you would love to see your favorite celebrity in the buff. See what his reaction is. Link to comment
lunatic Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I don't give a flying loop about what the typical male does...the typical male is an ignoramus... Normally I would not respond to a thread like this because I cannot relate to OP problem. Although I do agree that the OP should NOT be attacked because of the SHE feels. I wanted to add my two cents here because what he said was very tactless and is something he could learn to keep to himself. As for Caterina I have to say I have TAKEN offense to the quote above. NOT ALL MEN ARE IGNORAMUSES! Most men are actually good people and they get their feelings hurt all the time too. People will be people no matter what the gender is. Link to comment
rodeo-rider Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 C'mon guys, do we have to verbalize everything we feel? Fruit-smoothie, I don't make a habit of making statements in front of my SO like that and neither does he. It is a maturity, (or lack thereof) thing. I would be slightly interested in seeing Jen's gazabos myself (curiosity). Ignore his comment. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 i don't think it's a big deal at all. i agree with a lot of things that the previous posters have said. like wouldn't you want to see photos of brad pitt naked if you had the chance? and wouldn't you tell your bf too? I think it is a really positive sign that he is so open with you and will tell you what is on his mind. And I'd be happy that my bf had a crush on a sweet lady like Jen Aniston rather than a trashy celeb like paris hilton. if Paris Hilton were my guy's dream woman, I would be a bit concerned! I don't think what he said was so tactless. If he said something about how he would like to see naked photos of your sister, I would freak out! A celebrity, like someone mentioned, is someone unattainable. In a lot of ways, they are more of a "brand name". I'd prefer my guy have a harmless celebrity crush rather than a crush on someone he knows in real life. that would really make me insecure. Link to comment
lunatic Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Fruit-smoothie, I don't make a habit of making statements in front of my SO like that and neither does he. It is a maturity, (or lack thereof) thing. Ignore his comment. Here here I agree with Rodeo-Rider completely! Link to comment
Kalika Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Of course it's natural for him to be curious and/or attracted to others.. But I agree that for him to mention it outright smacks of immaturity. I'm sure OP has noticed other attractive men, but is courteous enough not to mention it to him.. Link to comment
shellshocked Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I totally think your bf responded with an open and honest response. And i agree with the person who said something like, "i'd rather him have the hots for jennifer aniston, than the girl that lives next door". (now, i would think differently if he's drooling over your best friend, or the cute bartender....totally different story..) My ex gf used to fly off into a rage if we were watching a movie and i would say something like, "angelina is hot!" She'd start saying things like, "Ohhhh...well, why don't you just call her up and ask her out on a date then?!?!" And off to the races we'd go.... What?!?!?!? It makes no sense to me. Now, I point out cute actresses to my gf all the time...and she does the same with me...it turn's into a fun/playful/flirty thing. The next time he says something like that, throw him for a loop and say, "yeah...me too. let's call her up for a threesome....he he." I bet you'll both end up feeling alot better. Link to comment
lizziebee Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Normally I would not respond to a thread like this because I cannot relate to OP problem. Although I do agree that the OP should NOT be attacked because of the SHE feels. I wanted to add my two cents here because what he said was very tactless and is not something he could learn to keep to himself. As for Caterina I have to say I have TAKEN offense to the quote above. NOT ALL MEN ARE IGNORAMUSES! Most men are actually good people and they get their feelings hurt all the time too. People will be people no matter what the gender is. Thank you Hubman for speaking out for those of us that have been attacked for the way we feel. I hope my post did not come off that way because I am very sensitive to being attacked as it has happened to me before on this site. Link to comment
rabbitskin Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 fruit smoothie, I have a story that might cheer you up. My first boyfriend at University was a pig. He had a picture of Cameron Diaz naked (but strategically sitting so you couldn't see her bits) and the first time I saw it I went, "Ewwwww!". "What?" He said, "She's totally hot". I sniffed and said, "Yeah, I could look like that too with the amount of make-up and airbrushing in that poster". His reply? "Honey, if you could look like that, I'd marry you right now." The point is... maybe it's natural to look at other women. But you know what? He doesn't have to make a big deal about it. All these years later I can still remember exactly the tone and sound of the pig's voice when he said that. It's also natural to feel jealous, and no-one points that out... it's always the *guy's* right to look because of his hormones or whatever that people always leap to defend. What about the *girl's* instinct to create stability and keep her hunter-gatherer by her side? That's just as valid. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I find it facinating that even today, we can conveniently ignore 200,000 years of evolution and the mating patterns of our species. Men and women like what they like. It's monogomy that puts things in check. Are your insecurities keeping you from trusting your man? I agree that this issue is a two way street. If your insecurities (which you acknowledge you have) succeed in shutting down parts of his expression of feelings, thoughts, you may not like the results. Tell him how you feel, but own your insecurities and put things in perspective. Oh...and I'll add that he certainly could have used more tact in his comments. Peace and happiness. Link to comment
Siriana Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 He did nothing wrong. You really are overreacting. So what if he said he'd like to take a look at these pics. Even I was interested enough to look at them! If someone said to you how there is a naked pic of the actor you find best looking I bet you would say really, wow, i want to see it. Your bf was polite and he said that without trying to be mean. I would let my bf to look at that pic on my computer, in my room and with me there. Thats not biggie. He's not a cheater and he respects you. Link to comment
justpaisley Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 If he knows you're insecure, he should definitely have kept your feelings in mind before drooling like a dog over some pictures of Jennifer Aniston's boobs. Then brushing off your feelings with an "oh, whatever..." Unacceptable. Whether or not you'd like to see Brad Pitt naked is really beside the point. If your boyfriend were the insecure one, you shouldn't jump up and down at the idea of naked Brad. You should work on your insecurity - Jennifer Aniston's boobs have nothing to do with you. However, and this is clearly ONLY my opinion, your boyfriend should be a lot more sensitive until you're able to become a more secure person. Whenever we watch CSI together, I woohoo over Gary Sinise and Carmine Giovinazzo and he gets a woohoo or two in over Claire Forlani, who he's loved for YEARS. If I had any inkling that his feelings were hurt by my piggish woohooing, it would stop then and wouldn't continue until I knew it didn't hurt his feelings. It's mutual respect. Link to comment
v8vachon Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 lol... this reminds me of something funny.. well funny now but annoying in the past.My ex boyfriend used to notice other women's boobs as they were walking by ALL THE TIME, I mean everytime we were out he's say " babe.. did you see that chick's boobs? they were HUGE!! Mind you Im a 34 B!... I got so annoyed with it, at first i'd look just to see what he was talking about , then after a few times i was like.. DUDE GET OVER IT! If this is a repetitive behavior for your man.. address it, if this was the first time.. let it go, it's normal behavior. If he is comfortable enough to express himself to you, dont give him a reson to start holding back and shut down his feelings because of your own insecurities. Hey.. why not tell him about some celebrety YOU think is hot?.. why not? Im sure there is one! Link to comment
Fruit Smoothie Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 If he knows you're insecure, he should definitely have kept your feelings in mind before drooling like a dog over some pictures of Jennifer Aniston's boobs. Then brushing off your feelings with an "oh, whatever..." Unacceptable. Whether or not you'd like to see Brad Pitt naked is really beside the point. If your boyfriend were the insecure one, you shouldn't jump up and down at the idea of naked Brad. Thank you...I feel like you really understand where I'm coming from. A lot of people seem to be jumping down my throat. All I can say is, yes, I realize that I'm insecure, and overreacting. What upset me most is how my boyfriend didn't seem to care enough to comfort or reassure me, instead giving an "Oh, whatever" when all I was doing was bringing up my insecurity. I didn't attack him, yell at him, or anything. He knows how insecure I can be, so what was the point of letting me know how much he'd love oogling her titties? Unattainable or not, it's just a point of respect, IMO. There's really no need for me to know that info. I might find other guy celebs hot, but why on EARTH would I feel like my boyfriend needs to know that? Link to comment
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