justpaisley Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 You can't really keep him from looking at Jennifer Aniston, but you can control what you do if he acts like a pig about it. I'd recommend at this point that you vow to work on your insecurity and talk to your boyfriend about this. Until you can get that particular monster under control (and if you don't, it'll just get bigger and bigger) ask your boyfriend to help you. Let him know that one day his comments may not bother you, but until then, ask him to keep them to himself. And don't ever let him brush off your feelings like that. To make a comparison - if I were having a hard time on a diet, and my husband were to eat my favorite foods in front of me and say "Mmmmm! Fried catfish, mashed potatoes and cheesecake! Mmmmm! Man, I sure love these! So tasty!" I would be pretty annoyed. It's the same thing, but without boobs, and it's completely disrespectful. 1 Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Its again about boundaries. Personally, I wouldn't care if a guy I was with said that. What I'm against is acting like someone is crazy because they have different boundaries. Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Normally I would not respond to a thread like this because I cannot relate to OP problem. Although I do agree that the OP should NOT be attacked because of the SHE feels. I wanted to add my two cents here because what he said was very tactless and is something he could learn to keep to himself. As for Caterina I have to say I have TAKEN offense to the quote above. NOT ALL MEN ARE IGNORAMUSES! Most men are actually good people and they get their feelings hurt all the time too. People will be people no matter what the gender is. Did I say all men? Where did I say all men? I love intelligent men...I LOVE INTELLIGENT MEN. They're sexy and of course they exist. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 A LOT of women feel this way and thereforeeee it is something that should be addressed and not squelched. The typical American male may find this behaviour normal, but maybe the typical American female doesn't. Instead of telling her to "seek help" maybe you could actually consider that so many women feel insecure about this for a justified reason. I don't give a flying loop about what the typical male does...the typical male is an ignoramus... this is where the generalizations popped up. Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Generalizations exist for a reason. How else are people going to categorize? Categorization has its problems and ethical considerations but its great for organization. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 well, this is getting a bit off topic, but i think that the point is that generalizations aren't always a great way to go or get your point accross. not all men are jerks or idiots, and not all women jealous, etc..... everyone is different and it can put people off making broad generalizations. Link to comment
lunatic Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 well, this is getting a bit off topic, but i think that the point is that generalizations aren't always a great way to go or get your point accross. not all men are jerks or idiots, and not all women jealous, etc..... everyone is different and it can put people off making broad generalizations. Exactly my point and I could not have said it better myself. Link to comment
afrodite79 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Thank you...I feel like you really understand where I'm coming from. A lot of people seem to be jumping down my throat. All I can say is, yes, I realize that I'm insecure, and overreacting. What upset me most is how my boyfriend didn't seem to care enough to comfort or reassure me, instead giving an "Oh, whatever" when all I was doing was bringing up my insecurity. I didn't attack him, yell at him, or anything. He knows how insecure I can be, so what was the point of letting me know how much he'd love oogling her titties? Unattainable or not, it's just a point of respect, IMO. There's really no need for me to know that info. I might find other guy celebs hot, but why on EARTH would I feel like my boyfriend needs to know that? I was wondering the same thing. Why the heck do you need to know that? I don't talk about who i think is hot with BFs or even my guy friends unless they ask. That's something i talk to other women (or gay guy friends) about. I don't think what he said was extremely bad he just sounds really immature. He knows how you feel about that kind of thing so he could have just kept his comments to himself. It's not that hard. Men will never understand why some women are so insecure. They aren't under the same amount of pressure to be physically attractive. For women in our society it seems like our worth isn't based on character or achievements. It's based on looks and how beautiful and sexually attractive we are to men. It sucks and the ideal is totally unattainable to 99% or women. 1 Link to comment
lizziebee Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 OK not to be tacky but are her boobs real? Just thought I would lighten the mood here! Link to comment
Siriana Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 they didn't look so great to me! Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Scenario: My fiance and I are at the new movie "Ghostrider" Nick Cage takes off his shirt, revealing...his very cut self. My fiance' covers my eyes. (smiling) Guys have insecurities too...and I wasn't even drooling over the star...I L.O.V.E. my fiance. Every pore of his body. I guess insecurity is focusing on what you think you don't have...instead of what you DO have. We ALL do it...just don't let it consume you. Not worth it. Link to comment
v8vachon Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 sorry.. but i had to check it out after all this Jen talk... she is absolutely ANOREXIC. YIKES!!!! and her boobs look like anybody elses... i dont get what the big deal is. here's the video link..beware nudity link removed Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I'm sorry, but I disagree. I think that generalizations make a point stronger at times. I never said all men do anything so I don't know why that idea keeps being brought up. Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 huh?.. im lost I'm having a disagreement with two moderators on another topic that branched from the original. Link to comment
Dako Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 The typical male is an ignoramus. To me that's not saying all men are ignorant, just the majority. A distinction with little difference. Link to comment
v8vachon Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Dako is back!! missed ya! Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Its a difference, and its one I'm convinced of. I'm bowing out. Link to comment
Twistedwhispers Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I understand totally how you feel, im an insecure person too and hate the thought of my boyfriend eyeing up other girls, but i mean its part of life that people find other people besides their partners attractive, just dont let it bother you too much and dont think about it alot because the more you think about it the worse it makes you feel. trust me! I have had 1 failed relationship because of my jealousy and insecurity, and when i got with my current boyfriend i promised myself i would never be so jealous ever again.... but it was a matter of months before my insecurity flared up.... and now this relationship is failing and i no its because i find it hard to trust and im insecure, but something tells me deep in my heart its already too late to make everything ok again. dont let it ruin ur relationship, hes with you and no1 will compare to you, even if they are voted the most beautiful celeb in the world, it wont compare to what he has with you. good luck sweetie. Link to comment
2600degrees Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Ugh. Please don't argue about generalizations. If this wasn't about men...if we changed the subject of the generalization to say...religion, or color of skin...this forum would EXPLODE. I am NOT an ignoramus. Grouping people in this way creates barriers and is the easy way out, with all due respect. IMHO. Link to comment
lunatic Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Lets get back to the OP topic. I agree we all disagree and should leave it at that. I don't want to take away from the OP question. If you want to discuss this still PM Annie and I. Thanks, Hub Link to comment
sindy Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 I'm angered that every time I see a post similar to this...the OP is attacked as though she's feeling something entirely out of the norm. A LOT of women feel this way and thereforeeee it is something that should be addressed and not squelched. The typical American male may find this behaviour normal, but maybe the typical American female doesn't. Instead of telling her to "seek help" maybe you could actually consider that so many women feel insecure about this for a justified reason. I don't give a flying loop about what the typical male does...the typical male is an ignoramus...I only care about what my SO does...and part of me wouldn't like him ogling at other women either. Hear, Hear! Completely AGREE with this post! Link to comment
avman Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 This thread is closed, it has run its course. Link to comment
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