My Mum Has Cancer

[ShySoul]

Thinking of you to and hoping everthing is well.

[RayKay]

Thanks ShySoul and DB

 

Things are okay. I went over to my mum's yesterday for our usual Sunday visit, and she unloaded on me all her old sewing machines she collected, and her old dolls from when she was young...she wants me to sell them and put it towards my Law tuition and so forth (some of the machines are fairly valuable). It was tough, as I know she loved those dolls, she has had them since SHE was a child....there is one I will keep though for sure as she has had it since she was a baby, and I think after her treatments I will give him back to her....or hold onto him. I just cannot sell them all, though she says she really wants to just get rid of the clutter. And she says she would rather they went to someone whom wanted them and loved them anyway.

 

She also gave me a few file folders of things from when I was young - my report cards, and my drawings, and stories (I had quite the imagination, we got a kick out of reading them out loud!)....she also gave me the bracelets from when I was born in the hospital, just stuff she wants cleaned out in case, and to go to whom will love it. It's funny to read back on things like that...I really recognize myself in them (some things have not changed in terms of how I think...my goals then were to "save all the animals" in the world for example...and I had a strange obsession with spiders...a positive one, but still odd!) but have to think of what a riot my mum must have had reading some of the stuff I brought home! Kids say the darndest things!

 

So those practical things are hard....but she is doing SO well. This chemo went so much better then last time! She is able to exercise on the treadmill and do some stretching and stuff like that, and go out. She does not nap in day anymore, feels no need to, but does go to bed earlier....she is glad she is still working as it keeps her mind busy and she would go nuts at home, she is bald but she looks gorgeous! She really does not even care, she wears hats only when it is cold and drafty (its winter here) and usually is bald at home....she wears wigs sometimes for clients but really hates wearing them! She is eating healthy and so far is maintaining weight (chemo often causes gain, as you crave carbs and sweets more apparently....used to be you lost so much, but anti-nausea drugs have really advanced apparently!). She is doing well, I am very proud of her.....

 

She is also going to visit my brother in Ontario this week, so she feels good enough to do that which is great. And it will be good for my brother to see she really IS okay, she is bald but still strong, still "mum" I think it will give him some comfort to see her. And she is still planning on going to Hawaii after Round Three of Chemo for a week, which will be halfway through chemo. After #4 they will see how her tumour is doing. My stepfather is sick so she had to avoid him right now as she cannot afford to catch a cold/flu, but she is doing well so far.

 

I am sure there will be lots of down days still, with more chemo and surgery to come, but she is upbeat and positive she is going to beat this....I still have a hard time reading the obits (I always read them.....) because I notice more now the younger women, whom died of breast cancer.....but we are positive. We all still have lots of faith and hope, and are still blessed to have the time we do!

 

I think she is also rediscovering religion...she was raised Catholic and was quite devout I believe, but then met my father whom was not....and the Church kicked her out basically. I think that is giving her more strength as well.

 

I go see my mum's doctor on Wednesday too, he is very proactive when it comes to breast health, so I am hoping that will help me get into earlier testing and monitoring as well.

 

Phew that was long, but thank you for your concern and checking in on me, much appreciated!

 

I mean to update more often, but I get busy and forget!

[WildChild]

I am glad to hear your mom is doing so well this time around and that she is able to maintain her strength. It must have been difficult with her giving you those belongings. I know it was tough for me when my Gma started doing that even though she was as healthy as a horse. My thoughts and prayers stay with you all.

[darkblue]

Tell DN to keep a lookout for her when she is up in Ontario!

 

It's great to hear that she is doing well. What a strong woman.

She really is taking this all in her stride, and that should be of comfort to your brother.

 

It's moving that she is giving you her old things to pay for your schooling.

 

I don't mind reading the long posts, anyway - it's great to hear how she is doing.

My thoughts are with you and your mother.

Take care.

[BellaDonna]

RayKay,

 

It's good to hear that your mom is still maintaining a positive attitude and still has so much zest for life.

 

It's amazing that she finds the time and energy after chemo, to exercise on a treadmill!!!!!- while most people in 100% health would find an excuse to lay around all day and be sad. Your mom sounds like she is living a more enriched life than most people. Her spirit and vitality are going to get her through this.

 

I'm sure it was hard for you to take all of the items she gave you- but keep in mind it gives her much comfort in just simply knowing you have them- no matter what happens.

 

Keep us posted on how she's doing, and how you're doing.

 

BellaDonna

[RayKay]

RayKay,

 

It's good to hear that your mom is still maintaining a positive attitude and still has so much zest for life.

 

It's amazing that she finds the time and energy after chemo, to exercise on a treadmill!!!!!- while most people in 100% health would find an excuse to lay around all day and be sad. Your mom sounds like she is living a more enriched life than most people. Her spirit and vitality are going to get her through this.

 

I'm sure it was hard for you to take all of the items she gave you- but keep in mind it gives her much comfort in just simply knowing you have them- no matter what happens.

 

Keep us posted on how she's doing, and how you're doing.

 

BellaDonna

 

It makes me feel good she is exercising too so I hope she can keep it up as long as possible. Usually there are a couple days right after treatment she can't, as she feels too terrible but she does it most days as much as possible....this time around she was out dancing the day after her treatments! Studies have shown that women whom exercise through chemo treatments for breast cancer reduce their risk of mortality by 50% (that was for those exercising 5 hrs/week, but those whom did less also showed improvement). I believe a lot has to do with flushing the chemo drugs through your system and to where it needs to go, as well as helping to flush the toxins, but also to do with your mental state - it makes you feel more positive and alive, rather then sick and in despair I suppose.

 

I'll take any extra percentage we can get....50% reduction is a LOT!

[darkblue]

Thinking of you, RayKay.

How are things?

[annie24]

Yeah - I hope she is doing well through her treatments right now!!!! Lots of people are sending positive vibes her way!

[RayKay]

Hey, she finished Chemo #3 last Wednesday, and feels pretty crappy right now.

 

Apparently there are a LOT of side effects from chemo too they don't tell you about in any of the books about it or any of the medical literature! Some just unpleasant, some kind of gross, some painful and really frustrating.

 

We are going over to see her this afternoon for a short visit though, and take her out for a walk as well as she has not been able to get out last few days as she feels so horrible....but, she is getting through it....bit by bit.

 

3 more treatments to go! Then is it time for her surgery..

[Mun]

Your family is in my daily thoughts and prayers RayKay.

 

Here's hoping everything goes well ...

[darkblue]

I second Mun.

I'm sending you my positive vibes, to go on top of the huge support she has with you as a daughter, and her own inner-strength as a fantastic woman and mother.

 

Take care.

[BellaDonna]

Hi RayKay.

 

So your mom has reached the halfway mark with her treatments. I hope she keep her spirits up as she continues. She has been so brave so far.

 

I was wondering how things were going with you. I thought about it this morning as I was putting on my breast-cancer-awarness bracelet. Thanks for keeping us updated.

 

I hope you enjoy your visit with your mom, and I hope she starts to feel better soon,

 

BellaDonna

[Hope75]

RayKay,

 

I'm thinking of your mom and your family too.

 

You are in my prayers.

[ShySoul]

You are strong Raykay and your mother is even stronger for going through this. You all will make it out of this fine. Hang in there.

[avman]

Hang in there RayKay. Stay strong, and my prayers are with you and your family.

[sonjam]

Hey RayKay, I too pray for your mothers health to return, and for your happiness.

[RayKay]

Thanks everyone for your additional comments, thoughts and prayers!

 

They are all very helpful, truly, even if I don't thank each of you individually, they are all gathering together in my collective "box of inner strength"...they all help a lot!

[RayKay]

Quick update

 

My mum met her plastic surgeon yesterday, and decided to get some reconstruction. During the bilateral mastectomy, they will also take tissue from her tummy (fat and skin, she does not want her muscles cut understandably!) to give her new breasts of sorts. She was very pleased that the surgeon told her there was "too little" and "not enough" fat to give her what she has now, so she may get a B+ cup at most. Made me ponder what they would do with me though, I would end up with nothing..lol. Implants are too risk with radiation, so this surgeon prefers to not do them, as more then 50% of them fail during rads. Nipples will be tattoo'd a few months later, and they just have to make sure to give her a centered belly button!

 

She is not looking forward to it, as it will be a long recovery with all that surgery, and she knows people whom have had tummy tucks which basically she is getting at same time to move the fat, and they were miserable after! So it will be a couple months of recovery or more.

 

But, she feels good, she trusts the doctor (he works exclusively in breast reconstruction after surgery) and she is glad I think they can give her something.

 

I really really hope to never be in that situation...sigh. I don't know what I would do, probably go nuts if I could not work out, or do the things I wanted all the time and so forth! She is really fatigued, but getting better.

 

Surgery will be in May, with some leeway in case she needs to delay a chemo treatment, or her white blood cells are not high enough and so forth. She'll probably go away for a few days before it to gear up I think.

 

She goes tomorrow to Vancouver, then to Hawaii for a week which she is excited for, and is back right in time for #4, after which she will find out how the tumour has been affected. That will be a big big event.

 

Also, she found out that at some point she had a heart attack - not sure if it was before the cancer, or due to the chemo yet, as she never even knew she had it, they just found the damage during routine tests she needs regularly. I know the signs are different for women - not that pain in chest/arm, but more fatigue, so it could of been easily missed. When you are a mother of three kids, working hard, going through chemo - you are always fatigued! Scary, but she said it's really not so pressing on her as the cancer. It's always another thing isn't it!

 

So, they have to make sure she can withstand an operation too with some more testing, and maybe making sure the right anasthesia is used.

 

It was just surprising, as she is in very good health, exercises, is at a pretty healthy weight (she had gained some extra pounds over the last 10-15 years, but lost a lot of it in last 4 or 5...she was never overweight though, just softer as she was in middle age/premenopause)....so I wonder if it was chemo related.

 

Sometimes frustrates me that I am like her, and do a lot of exercise (more then her, but still!) and eat well, and take care of myself.....and I see that sometimes when it comes to some things, it makes little difference!

 

Phew, that's enough for now! Overall things are good though...still just taking it day by day by day!

[kellbell]

Oh my goodness RayKay!

 

Your mom has been through a lot. Her surgery sounds aggressive but very promising. Her strength and your strength are a huge inspiration. I am so glad to read she is hanging in there and staying in good spirits. I still keep her, you and all of your family in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the update. (((hugs)))

[darkblue]

Thanks for the update, RayKay.

 

It sounds like the surgery will be in the best of hands, with such a professional.

 

I hope, and am sure, she enjoys her vaccation. She deserves it.

You are all in my thoughts, and I am still adding on to those positive vibes.

[snowgirl]

RayKay,

 

I told you earlier than my sister in law had breast cancer 5 years ago (and remains healthy, yay!) and opted for a mastectomy and reconstruction. She came out of the surgery with the belly of a teenager, she loved it! She kept lifting up her shirt and showing everyone her new flat stomach. Her breast looks perfect, just like the old one, it's amazing. I don't think she ever bothered to get the nipple tattoo.

She laughed as she was telling me about her chemo, she lost the hair on her head and her eyebrows with one of the treatments, then she lost her eyelashes and the hair from her, uh, nether regions for the second treatment, but she never got to stop shaving her legs since that hair remained. What gives with THAT?

Sending all the best vibes and e-hugs to your Mom. She is almost through the worst part.

[RayKay]

Hey snow,

 

Thanks for your post! Yes, you are right, I keep telling her she gets to get a tummy tuck at same time, so not so bad...and younger, smaller, perkier boobs! Not the "same" but not so bad either!

 

Mum has lost all her hair on head, eyebrows are coming out as well as other areas (not sure of her legs though!). But there is a spot on back of her head it likes to grow in that she has to shave, and it's BLACK....she has not had BLACK hair since she was a newborn! And it's been grey for a while now (though she dyes it), so would be cool when she is done it comes in black. They say when it grows back in after chemo it is often black, or very wavy or curly, due to changes to structure I guess from drugs. Very strange though, I tell her to grow it out and she would have one of those hairstyles like Chinese warriors had, with the black ponytail and bald everywhere else!

 

Thanks snow, and everyone else for your comments and thoughts!

[annie24]

Same thing happened to my dad after he had chemo. His hair was going grey before chemo, then he had it, and his hair came back in curly and black! He was very happy about that

[SexySadie7]

I'm glad to hear you mom is in good spirits.. Hawaii will do wonders for them if they are not! i used to live there. It's a beautiful place!

My mom has been having some really serious health problems last few weeks..

At first she just said she had fallen down once or twice while walking the dog..a few weeks ago.

Okay. fair enough. the dog pulls quite a bit and it's winter and icy where she lives..and she's getting over 70.

About 2 weeks ago she told me she had fallen down 4 or 5 times and the neighbors had to come out and pick her up.

I thought.. whoa.. what's going here? I was hoping that she had some inner ear problems..

Now.. she's had a bunch of tests and my brother says they found some lesions or a mass in her brain and some in her lungs..

My brother and i are both worried sick about her.. as my dad passed away 2 years ago.. She is now walking around the house with a walker now and has to have someone walk the dog.. so i'm really upset about her health. My mom has always been in good health.. but with my dad getting sick she has let herself get really thin.

My mom has never smoked at all so this is all very scary..

She's really worried too, i can hear it in her voice.. she lives pretty far away.. and i've not hardly got enough money to pay my electric bill, let alone get up there to see her.. but i would definitely like to..

To make matters worse, her sister has just come to visit her and has been very hostile to me on the phone when i called to check up on my mom!!!

It's about all i can stand dealing with my mom being sick.. let alone having her sister being hateful to me..

I had sent my mom a portable phone so if she fell in the house she cud call someone.

So.. this weekend i called to check up on her and see how she was feeling. My mom says her sister wants to speak to me and she put her on the phone. I thought "great, i'd like to speak to my aunt too!"

Now my aunt lives out of the country.. so i asked how her flight was, and other pleasantries.. I was very polite but my aunt is a bit of a drama queen and very selfish person. And she has caused alot of ruckus in my family before.

She talks to me for about 30 seconds, then suddenly out of the blue says to me. "you know i really don't even want to talk to you at all.. " Then she claims that she's upset with me cuz I just don't realize how sick my mom is!!

I'm like totally devastated already from hearing about my mom's tests results earlier in the week, so that is hardly the case.

I've been worried sick not knowing if my mom has cancer or not.. and if so. how long she's got to live...

I'm was so flabbergast.. i just told my aunt, "well. if you want to be hateful to me.. then just put my mom back on the phone."

Instead she hung up on me!!

Now. if my mom is using a walker. it's not likely she has even left the room and not heard what my aunt said to me.

I'm not even certain how long my aunt will stay here.. no one knows. but i'm extremely worried someone so negative and hostile is with my mom in this crisis.

I called my brother that day and told her about what our aunt said to me. He was shocked too. I thought someone should be aware besides me that mom is with a not all together positive influence. I know my aunt like to gossip and talk dirt about people so it probably likely she's bad mouthing me to my mom.

How this helps my mom, i hardly know?

I'm sorry to steal your Post RayKay.. Sounds like your mom is in good hands though and is heading in a positive direction.

If you want i can move this post somewhere else.. just let me know

Please put my mom in your prayers if you cud and i'll keep thinking good thought for your mom too,

[RayKay]

Don't apologize Sadie, you are more then welcome on my thread!

 

I am so sorry to hear about your mum honey, and I hope they figure out what is going on soon. Your aunt was quite callous, it sounds like your mum did not really want you to know what is going on and hid it until she could not anymore. And of course you care! I am so sorry your aunt said those things to you.

 

Please keep me updated on how she is doing, and you are in my thoughts and prayers along with your mom & family. I am hoping the best Sadie, but if she is sick, know she is in good hands, and just be there for her as best you can.