My Mum Has Cancer

[Vanilla]

ray kay i am so sorry. we are here for you and i will hold a prayer for your mother and your family on my meeting for prayers on friday.

 

all i can say is just be the strong beautiful daughter to your mother- support her in all her decisions.

 

sometimes its hard for usbecause we dont want to lose someone we love, maybe selfish- but its out of love.

 

i wish you the best and i know you will be there for your mom and siblings.

 

thank you for all the times you have been there for us at enotalone.

 

you are in my prayers!

[RayKay]

Thank you ALL of you soooo much for all your thoughts and prayers, and condolences, and thank you so much for the links too. I am sending them to my mum. I sent her an email this morning, thanking her for telling us the way she did, telling her I was worried too.

 

I know when my boyfriend died she was the one that was there to tell me it was okay to feel awful, and not be happy all the time, I guess I want to be able to say same to her, so I did. I know she will put on a happy face, and it was important to me she also felt okay to not do so around me all the time.

 

I told her I was scared too, but that I was also going to be strong, I don't know. I love her so much, and feel so powerless right now.

 

Thank you all SOOO much though. You are all wonderful, this site is amazing and always has been for me.

[lunatic]

RayKay I will pray for your moms speedy recovery!

 

I am so sorry to hear the bad news!

 

Hub

[SexySadie7]

Oh. RayKay, i'm so sorry to hear you mom found out she has cancer. Be strong, lots of people even with stage 4 cancer has survived. I had a relative that had a stage 4 tumor on their brain. I had everyone praying about it and when they did the last MRI... the tumor that was the size of a tangerine couldn't even be detected on the MRI!

I'll be praying for you.

Gosh.. alot of people seem to be going thru health problems now.

I just found out i have gallstones.. I'm trying to change my diet so i can avoid surgery.

Know your thoughts and prayers are with your mom now.

Has anyone gone thru or know someone who's gone thru the cancer treatments of American Center?

[Jut]

Raykay

Im sorry to hear about your mom. I sincerely hope she gets through this. I am going to pray for her. She is lucky to have a daughter who has a positive outlook at this time.

[Agrajag]

Rachel, all of my heart is with you now. You will find strength in your will and your heart.

 

 

~

Ian

[redandblack]

Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear this!

 

Although I don't know you personally, through your posts you are a very strong, kind and loving person. I am positive your mom is glad beyond words to have you by her side when she fights this thing!

 

Stay strong and take care!

[sibling295]

sorry about the news - i am wearing my LIVESTRONG bracelet today thinking positive thoughts for you and your family.

[Hope75]

 

Realize that cancer isn't the automatic death sentence that it once was. Have hope and faith that the treatments are able to make a difference. They can do amazing things now even if they can't completely cure it.

 

Avman could not be more right. Please keep your hope and faith in our technology and in your mother's willpower to beat this disease.

 

((HUGS))

[Tigris]

I'm sorry to hear about your Mother Ray Kay.

 

It's surprising how much strength she'll find to cope with this situation. My Mother even surprised her doctors when she was suffering from cancer of the Pancreas and Lungs. They said they'd never seen anyone as strong willed before! She did this to make the lives of my father, 2 sisters and I easier. Believe me you will also find the strength needed to be there for her!

 

You said earlier that you are worried about your siblings, especially the one living at home. I can assure you that when someone is ill and you see them on a daily basis you become used to the slight changes from day to day. It's the people who don't see the person who's ill everyday that gets the shocks when they visit.

 

Finally, I don't know if this will help or not? My Mother asked two friends from the Spiritualist Church, who have 'healing powers' to visit her in hospital. They held her hands and felt their powers leave their hands but unfortunately, for her she had asked them when it was too late for their powers to heal her. The good thing about this was it gave her peace of mind.

 

The Spiritualist Church have a book where they place the names of ill people and they prayer for them. They also have a healing night where anyone can go. I'm sorry I have never been to one of these before so I don't know how it works?

 

I hope there is some improvement in your Mother's condition soon.

 

Take care.

[WildChild]

(((((HUGS))))) Raykay I am so, so sorry to hear about your mother and the fear your family lives with because of this horrible disease. Please know my thoughts are with you and I pray for your mother, you and your family. (((((HUGS)))))

[Mun]

Hey there RayKay, I'm really sorry to hear about what's going on with your mom but have faith that she will get through this--no matter what happened in the past with your grandmothers-- Medical care is much more advanced nowadays and I'm sure she will get the best treatment possible.

 

I've known several people that have had Cancer and most have survived it. I honestly believe that faith and spirit play as much part in healing as medicine does. Like someone else said, miracles happen every day.

 

I believe in miracles. You are all in my prayers.

[Maria1980]

sorry to hear this.... Hang in there and have faith...

[OceanEyes]

Hey Raykay ...

 

As you know I went through something similar lately ... and I know how tough it is to hear about something like this, let alone come to terms with it and try to "be positive". Being positive is usually something that can be suggested, but when you're actually IN the position of facing stage 3 cancer, it's not quite that easy.

 

I'm not going to tell you to "be strong", because it's almost impossible to "look on the bright side" of things right now. You're obviously going to be feeling terrible, and worry like no other time in your life. That's normal and natural. You have a right to feel like crap, this isn't an easy situation to face and leaves you feeling really helpless.

 

All I'll tell you here, is that people DO BEAT CANCER. These days, it's actually much more common to beat cancer than otherwise -- and you said that your mother was religious about her mammograms, so it is obviously an aggressive cancer. These can still be treated, and provided that your mother is in good health overall, her body should be able to fight the side affects of chemotherapy. Chemotherapy can obviously take quite a toll on the body, but believe me, it can save her life. My cousin had stage three hodgkins lymphoma and still beat it -- has been cancer-free for over six years now.

 

Your family is going to go through some rough times up ahead, I won't lie. It takes quite a toll on the patient's family ... it's scary and horrible to face, but I'll tell you something RK - family will be what gets her through this. Family will be her will to push on and go through with what is required. Knowing that you are all there, beside her, supporting and caring for her is what will make ALL the difference in the world. You and your family have to take this on together - FIGHT IT with everything you have.

[LadyV]

Hi RayKay

 

I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I heard pretty much the same news about my mum in mid-October & it's a shock as you never expect to hear it. My world turned upside down at first but then i started to learn how to deal with it. There are no answers & the hardest part is waiting - it's like the never ending waiting game. Mum's always seem invinsible but like everyone else & as we know, they aren't. The only thing i can say is that it does get easier. Thoughts of it are always there, especially when you have to tell someone that doesn't already know, but when you accept it & stay positive, the tears stop & the head/heart starts fighting quietly.

 

My thoughts are with you & your family - take care

[LostInMyThoughts]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I can't even imagine what this must be like.

 

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[Wimpy]

RayKay

 

I am very sorry to hear your news and my thoughts are with you. I don't have any personal experience of cancer so I can't give any wise words but I can relate to losing a parent before you were ready - as if there ever is a time when you're "ready" but you know what I mean.

 

I saw a programme on the BBC a few months ago about a young guy in his 30's with a little child and he was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus and was basically told he wouldn't under any circumstances survive. Incredibly he defied the odds and went on to see his second child born. I remember the programme well because it made me realise that sometimes, even when the doctors don't hold out hope, we are incredible beings and defy the odds.

 

If your mum has half the compassion and empathy you have displayed through this forum then she will be fine and more to the point you will be too.

 

As it happens I also saw a programme a while ago about a woman who'd opted to have her breasts removed as cancer was genetic and she wanted to take this radical action. I remember thinking "wow what an awful choice/decision to make". At the moment I would try and focus on the "here and now" and not look too far into the future and imagine what might happen.

 

Sorry I can't say anything more than that - you are in my thoughts.

[melrich]

Hi RayKay,

 

Like everyone else I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's situation. She sounds like a very beautiful and strong woman and I am sure she sounds ready for the fight against this dreadful disease.

 

My prayers are with your family. I know you will be a great support to your mom and remember to look after yourself as well.

[TAFFY]

RayKay, even though I don't know you and being new to this forum, I am so sorry that this is happening to your family. I will certainly keep you, your mother and your family in my prayers. Take care.

[Mrocza]

*BIG HUGS*

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you and no one can truly emphathize with whats going on in your head, but everyone here is right.

Think positively. I understand the fears, doubts and stress running through your mind right now but you need to focus on the present. Your mother has not been given a death sentence.

 

Yes, she lost her mother at your age, but that was LONG ago and they have drastically advanced means of fighting cancer since then. There are ways you can go about fighting it. She CAN get past it. It makes a huge difference to believe in the possibility of the positive. I think a huge impact on life, healing and survival is the WILL to live.

 

Your mother sounds like an amazing person, and it's important, especially in a critical time like this, to remind her of that. She's been everyone's rock in the past. It's time to be hers. But most importantly, she has to be happy.

 

I know that may seem redundant when you've just been diagnosed but I believe state of mind is a huge factor in over all health. Even for yourself. You CAN get through this. You've acknowledged the possibility of different outcomes of this horrible disease but you can sit and focus on the what-ifs and waste time or you don't. You need to have hope. I know deep down you do.

 

You may feel helpless because you can't fix it or you feel immobile in the situation but you're really not. You've got all these people supporting you, and together you can support her. My prayers are with you, and I'm hoping for the best.

[SimonBlume]

I'm not religious. But I do hope you'll be strong, which I believe you are. Some brave people fought cancer and they succeeded. Don't worry too much.

[babycristy456]

There comes a time in everyone's life where things seem like we won't be able to get through them...My father almost died when I was 7 years old and they had to amputate his leg. That year of him being in a hospital day and night, I remember feeling like it was the end of the world, like I would never be able to get through the rough times. Every now and then, however, he would give a present to my mom to give me (Usually things that he made during his therapy sessions at the hospital bc he also suffered a stroke). Those little things were my hopes, that was what made me realize that he was "alive". You too need to realize that you mother is alive, in no way is there a death sentence behind her name, as much as it may seem. Like my own father, I am sure your mother is a fighter and a surviver... you and the rest of her family is what will bring her back home. Remember, don't think of the worst, think positive. That positive energy is what will get your mother through these hard times, and it is true that a good spirit and laughter that helps people heal faster. She is a smart lady in keeping herself busy and keep her mind distracted as much as possible. Even during the chemo, you should advice that she practices some type of therapy such as art, drawing, arts and crafts...I know it is not required, but I myself worked at a hospital in Miami (one of the most prestigious research hospitals for cancer, UM/ Miller Cancer Comprehensive Center) and the art department is a crucial aspect of the patients' healing process...If you are an artistic person, you will understand what I mean, there is a certain discipline and peacefulness that it brings to a person...Well keep all these things in mind, I do hope the best for you and your family during these hard times but keep your head up...and like others have told you, people win cancer everyday, don't let the name "stage III" scare you, anything is conquerable as long as you believe in miracles and have hope.

[suprema99]

Hey raykay, I'm sorry to hear that. I hate when bad things happen to good people. Your a good person, also like your mom, and it just shows anything can happen at anytime. Try to stay strong for your mom, but, you can't worry like that about yourself now getting breast cancer. Your young and there's no need to dwell on that right know. You have your own life also that has to stay focused. Try to live your life as much as you can before the news. Easier said than done, I'm sure. But Your mom knows you care about her and that's all she needs from you right now. just be on her side as much as you possibly can. Wish her and you the best. Goodluck

[blink_guy]

hey stay strong im 14 an my mom got diagnosed with stage 3 large intestine cancer 2 yrs ago an shes doing really good right now so your mom should do well too

[sonjam]

Oh No! Raykay I'm so sorry, but I know you are all strong, and will fight with her, and see this thing through, like you said, stay positive.

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers x