TAFFY

i consider anything other than sex making out. But then I'm 48, and from the old school that you don't do anything that will lead to sex unless you are married. THANK GOD I DIDN'T GRADUATE FROM THAT SCHOOL!!!!!!!!! LOL

I think that's a good thing, because you are letting her know that you are highly interested in her. If she's mature enough, she will appreciate you all that much more, in my opinion. But that's just my opinion.

It doesn't matter too much to me if the guy I'm with isn't hard at first; because by the time we are through kissing and fondling, the guy is usually as hard as a rock. I like that!!! I'm fairly certain he does too(hee hee)

MG -- You still need to watch your back with this guy. You said he backed off completely; that doesn't mean that he's given up on the idea of "getting something" from you. The fact that he changed his work schedule to go to this group to be there when you're there, it's almost like he's stalking you. I've gon back and reread this entire thread just to update myself. This is my opinion, but you really need to tell an adult about what happened and what was said, so that they can protect you better. Take care.

Gracelove, I've been wondering how you have been. Could you send me a PM? I'm so sorry to hear that you've had to go through this, but you are on the right track, I think. Friendsforlife, here's another friend for you. See, you are not alone. We are all here for you. You do have friends. We care.

I was in your shoes not so long ago. I am a survivor of child and sexual abuse. I kept everything bottled up inside for years. I never told my parents anything about the sexual abuse until I was 32, and they were the only ones besides 3 other people who knew. My mother passed away last year, and afterwards I sank into a very deep depression. I stopped eating, stopped going out of my house, and generally gave up the will to live. If it hadn't been for my 3 friends, I wouldn't be here today writing to you. Are you seeing a counsellor or any type of therapist? That sounds like a good place to start, to me. And, you don't have to worry that they won't believe you, or that they will laugh at your fears. I just started counselling about 7 months ago. I still have ups and downs. But I feel like I am in a place now where I can maybe help someone else who's going through the same thing. If you need a friend to talk to, please feel free to PM me. I've had a lot of experience helping people in the last 20 yrs or so. I was a paramedic. I have seen people at their best, and at their worst. And I know what it's like to feel that you don't have a friend in the world. Please, the next time you feel like hurting yourself, either call the suicide hotline or your local Emergency Department at the hospital. And remember, you can always PM me if you need someone to listen to you. I am totally impartial and nonjudgemental.

MG, in my opinion (and I think you either know or have heard the saying about opinions), it would be best to not get involved with him at all. You said he asked you if you loved him or just strongly liked him; he's moving way too fast.

MG, I think that the reason you "fell for this guy" as fast as you did is because you've been hurt a lot in the past. That's how insecurity works, and I really think that he can sense this about you, and that's why he's moving in. I've been in counselling for several months now, and it's shown me that I am extremely vulnerable. You've told him that you don't want to start a relationship now, but if he does have ulterior motives, that won't stop him. The difference of 7 yrs apart would be OK if you were 18 or 19, but you're only 13. You have your whole life ahead of you. You're in a vulnerable spot right now since you've just gotten out of a relationship and any guy who sweet talks you and tells you what you want to hear is going to look good to you, but you have to clamp down on your vulnerableness and take a long look at what's being offered, and by whom.

MG - please listen with your head instead of your heart. I had forgotten that when he brought you home from church that he was going to come in to your house with you just as if it was planned, but you stopped him. That right there might have been the only thing that saved you from some sick mischief on his part.

Moon, I'm probably more cautious than the next person because of my past, but something about this 20yr old man is creeping me out. First of all, you are only 13, and in the state where I live that can be constituted as statutory rape. Second, if you're not dating, then why did he ask permission of you to go to the beach with his girlfriend and her son? To me, that's not a good situation.

Then you really have nothing to worry about. If she likes it, it's all good.

I would think one of the men here would be better answering this than I would, but again, if I were in a relationship, and he got an erection, I would be honored, because to me that would mean that he is definitely interested in me. I have a horribly problem with body-image, so if that happened it would really make me feel honored. And no, I don't think you should hide it.

Moon, I echo everybody else here that has told you to run, not walk, away from this man. You will get hurt.

shy_guy3, were I in a relationship with a man, I would feel honored if that happened, because it would show me that he is really interested in me. That would be a nice feeling. Alas. I think I'm destined to join a convent or something. rolf

WadeCure, one of the hardest things to do is to let someone that we care so much about go. Right now, were I in your shoes, I probably would firstly concentrate on my schoolwork. If you are taking the maximum amount of hours, you need to concentrate on that, but at the same time, try not to burn yourself out studying. I guess what I'm saying to you, is to let things ride a while, until you get to the point where you can give serious thought to this friend. It may be a couple of months, but if your friendship is to continue, then if it is meant to be, it will. Take care.