How Does Everyone Manage Their Time?

[yogacat]

So I'm looking for tips. I feel so unorganized lately.

I currently work, am in school part time, and caregiving for a parent recovering from a serious health condition. And I'm finally starting to feel like I have a grasp on everything and am managing my time effectively. But I am having a hard time fitting in self-care. I do little things here and there, like taking breaks to listen to some of my favorite songs, doing some quick exercises or stretches. Posting🙃.

But I never seem to find the time for a full self-care routine. I know it's important for my well-being, but it feels like a luxury that I can't afford in my current schedule. Any tips for fitting in self-care when you have a busy schedule?

Maybe I am just not managing my time effectively, but any advice would be greatly appreciated. People juggle lots more than I so what is the secret sauce?

[mylolita]

Yoga! 
 

You sound as if you have a very full and busy life and also that you have some serious obligations and responsibilities as well - school, work and caregiving. 
 

I don’t know why I am replying to your thread Yoga as I am a terrible time waster and can spend my time doing everything but anything of importance! 🥲

 

I will say, at my old old age of 34 🥹 I would recommend doing one of two things or mixing and matching them. They are - outsourcing; and carving. When I say outsource, I mean, from time to time schedule in a paid helping hand maybe to replace one day of your caregiving if possible? Maybe arrange a cleaner to come once a week? Or arrange a food delivery for one day you would be cooking, or maybe having to run out to the shops to buy food - have it delivered that day instead? Any offers of a helping hand - I would try and take them from time to time too! 
 

For the “carving” which, is my personal fave; I would recommend looking at your average day, and seeing where you can twist out a “mini break”. This may only be a 15 minute time period. Or half an hour. But these mini moments throughout the day can really matter! 
 

For example - my first little moment of the day for myself personally happens on a morning. And this is where, when my husband is at home, he takes all the kids on the school run (outsource - LOL!) which gives me a good 40 minute chunk to get a leisurely shower/bath, and I can dress with a cup of coffee or two, do my hair, my make-up (which I find really relaxing) before the start of a day! If he’s away working, I still carve out time for “resting and dressing!” and I will get the kids ready then, I’ll pop a cartoon on for them so I can have half an hour after the buzz of an early wake up call to get myself set!

 

For you it might mean thinking about what relaxes or energises you? Maybe waking up half an hour earlier on a morning to have breakfast and a smoothie or coffee out in your beautiful garden? Or maybe it’s taking an hour on an evening that may be taken up with other obligations like seeing family or friends to actually be by yourself, read in the bath or do your favourite yoga stretches before bed? 
 

Really look at your average day, and you may see little micro opportunities of rest or calm crop up where you thought impossible. Another example of me doing this throughout my own day is, today was a beautiful day, and instead of running the kids to the beach which is beautiful but hectic, I decided to instead take my girls to my parents and put their bikes in the car. This meant I got a 40 minute drive with calm music (which is a rest for me!) and while the girls had a nap I got peace and an iced coffee to sip on the way! I carved myself out a break, or, my idea of one anyway! And the girls got to ride their bikes! 
 

I understand not everyone can do exactly how I do and everyone’s lives are so varied. You may find at work or school, there may be a free period of study to go for a slow walk, or during work - when I did work, I used to always take the last lunch slot. There was method to my madness with this because when I went at 1:30pm to take my hour for lunch at the office, it meant when I got back at 2:30 it felt like the day was nearly over and my mood lifted because the end was in sight “sooner!” And my lunch break was taken strategically during my natural slump! So it meant I got to quickly drive right outta where the office complex was, and I found a really great tree on a sloping bank. I’d take an iced coffee there. Or I’d go shopping at a retail park I discovered and found a great florists. I kind of, manufactured this oasis of time in my working day where it felt like just for a second; the office was nowhere to be seen and forever! Minus being in a suit - HA! 
 

Anyway dear Yoga, I’m waffling… but, there may be niches and nuanced little moments you can create. Then once you get into those small moments being a regular thing, they will become habitual. I can’t remember the last time I left the house without being fully “dressed” and with my hair done. I was probably 11 years old. This is an essential thing to me I won’t compromise on! You will maybe discover or have something similar. 
 

I also play music as soon as I wake up, go outside and hang washing out (for some reason the smell of air dried linen is heaven to me and going out there with bare feet on freezing ground wakes me up!) Creating rituals is a personal and magical thing and a fun thing!

I also light candles during the day, and will nip into a shop to buy flowers and quickly arrange them in the afternoon when I get 10 mins. I also clean for stress relief! And garden! I tend to get the kids involved with the gardening so I get to do it and spend time with them as well! 
 

Sometimes when I’ve been exhausted with a new baby and toddlers in tow, I’ve gone slowly through drive thrus and let them suck on fries while I sit and listen to the radio with a milkshake! Or I’ve even given them sweets and gone through the car wash just to sit down and chill out with everyone contained for half an hour 🤣

 

I’d also be realistic about what you need to do, what you have to tick off for your sanity and organisation and control over your life, and what you can “let go” of a little, outsource or switch up, reduce the time of, or re-arrange etc. 

 

Best of luck Yoga! Let us know how you get on! Busy bee! 
 

x

[Batya33]

I find time to take care of me -both wants and -more like needs -I know there's a difference but to me also gray areas - by getting up ridiculously early.  This is because: my gym is small and only has two treadmills and I only use a treadmill (or power walk outside but not before a certain time in the morning for safety), my husband sleeps in so when I get back I have the house to myself pretty much (need/want -to eat breakfast alone and have coffee alone and decompress post-workout). Others love to eat breakfast with their partner and I prefer to have that time to myself and talk with him later in the morning.

Also on school mornings -I do all mornings with rare exception -my son gets up at 6:45 and then I walk him the mile to the bus stop. 

For me working out daily -it's been  daily for about 13 years and from 1982-2012 it was somewhere between 3-5 times/week except when I was pregnant, then no intense working out) -and working out early morning to get it out of the way and for optimal personal mental and physical health benefits -is basically a must.  I feel awesome after -I also drink about 3-4 cups of water during it - and it makes my day.  I suggest this to - no one else - it's just what works for me.  Having that time plus my coffee/breakfast time -helps me feel more grounded, centered, healthy, fit.  It means I typically am in bed by 9:30.  I had a very active night life from around 1980-2009 and it was awesome and not for me anymore.  I don't feel like I'm missing out.  For others that is their needed time -time to go out at night or work out at night or binge watch a show at night.

Also I read a lot -mostly fiction -and step away from screens as a benefit.  Again -personally -this helps me - always has -been a bookworm for over 50 years.  I fit it in too -sometimes i keep my book in the kitchen so if something is cooking I can read a page or two and therefore I'm not on my phone.  

I also work part time.  I learned especially during the years of virtual school and work -to maxiimze my work time -to figure out when I was most alert for brain work and -if I have more admin work - I know I can do that when I'm more tired -so I'm strategic about when I work.  I am paid hourly and am meticulous about keeping accurate time - so it makes no sense for me to try to do a task when I'm exhausted and more inclined to look at a website, text a friend, etc.  

A downside -not as much for me but I bet for others -is that I likely am over-routinized - I don't mind that and indeed sometimes crave it- but I know of people where it would sabotage "self care" to be that scheduled/routinized (for example I have a cleaning routine which also is to maximize time). I have friends who never ever would get up before dawn to work out.  But talk a lot about wanting to work out -wanting to be more fit.  Wanting wanting.  I give them - no input - because if you do want to make time for whatever self care means to you for most people -most certainly for me with all my solo parenting, part time work that sometimes creeps over to more like full time - there will be less spontaneity, there will be some adjustments needed and other sacrifices. 

I have  friends who spend inordinate amounts of time: choosing the right headshot for a camp form for her son, weeks buying a new dishwasher, running to a big box store for school theme weeks, for even more sports paraphernalia for her kids, who goes out to buy a cup of coffee a lot of mornings instead of brewing at home.  Regular mani/pedis and hair blowouts.   All of these extras take time.  But that's the thing to me they are extras -maybe to her this is her self care -but take a good luck at what you can trim -where is the time that might be -wasted- that is spent on tasks that can be delegated, not done, not done as often?

I think being a caregiver to a parent is so so hard.  I'm glad you can support in this way and it's wonderful of you to do this for  your parent and hope for a speedy recovery.

 

[catfeeder]

My heart goes out to you and your parent. What is her or his level of needed care? For instance, total bed care, wheelchair bound, semi ambulatory with assistance or fully ambulatory?

Are there any nursing or physical therapy services that visit the home, or are you transporting parent to therapeutic sessions?

How alert is parent, and would you trust her/his judgment to allow you any self care time without them taking a risk of falling or wandering?

More details about how you currently manage your time would help us to offer suggestions better suited to your needs.

[mylolita]

PS:

 

Yoga, I have to add - your caregiving role I imagine sounds very, potentially, emotionally and physically exhausting. I can only imagine what you are dealing with. 
 

Please take my offerings with a pinch of salt as I am a pampered stay at home Mum whose only responsibilities are her three children so; I’m by the way not a qualified replier! ☺️

 

It did cross my mind if you could navigate some time for a dance lesson or something involving dance as, it seems to be a real passion of yours and seems a shame it’s been pushed out to some extent? 
 

All the best, 

 

x

[ShySoul]

Get up early and carve out time at the beginning of the day if possible. Before the crazy schedule of the day gets going, spend a half hour for you. Read, savour the morning coffee, whatever relaxes you and puts you in a good mood. Alternatively, block out time at the end of the day. Devote an hour to your favorite show, a game, anything that relaxes and helps you decompass from the stress you've endured that day. 

It could be any time, what's important is consistancy. It gives you something to look forward to and lets you burn off the stress and bad energy before it accumlates into something that drags you down. And really, taking those fifteen minute breaks are a lifesaver. It lets you recharge and refocus. Take those whenever you get the chance.

If you want something a little larger in scale, plan for it. School classes have to end some time. Work gives us vacation days for a reason. Find a time that fits or look for an activity you really want to do that would make you happy, and do it. Have a family member or friend take over the care giving for a day or two. They should be understanding that you need a break. You can't give good care for others if you are depleted yourself, so take a day off occasionally. You won't regret it.

[yogacat]

4 hours ago, catfeeder said:

My heart goes out to you and your parent. What is her or his level of needed care? For instance, total bed care, wheelchair bound, semi ambulatory with assistance or fully ambulatory?

Are there any nursing or physical therapy services that visit the home, or are you transporting parent to therapeutic sessions?

How alert is parent, and would you trust her/his judgment to allow you any self care time without them taking a risk of falling or wandering?

More details about how you currently manage your time would help us to offer suggestions better suited to your needs.

Just wanted to say thanks!

My dad has limited mobility and uses a quad cane. He can't go out on his own, he's homebound. His right arm and hand are paralyzed, so he needs help with daily tasks like putting things on with zippers and tying his shoes, meals, showers, etc.

He's had a few close calls with falling. I have home health set up for him and they come a few times a week. I have two days off where I can take a break from basic caregiving tasks.

My dad needs a lot of help and I'm happy to do it, but when I have free time, I feel sad and unmotivated to do other things, like exercise. I used to be really into fitness, but lately I just can't seem to get back into it. I try to go for walks when I can, but it's not the same as a full workout.

I'm part-time student with 7 credits. I just checked my email and there's 20 new messages from my one class🤢. I'm in charge of an upcoming class presentation, so having some quiet days to focus on my own stuff feels like a rare luxury. Managing my dad's medical and general care just on the admin side is insane.

Luckily, I work from home and have some help from my brother and mom.

My typical day involves waking up before my dad so I can have some time for myself. Then I make breakfast for him, help him with his exercises, and take care of school/work/caregiving tasks for a few hours. I make his lunch, and then continue with other responsibilities. Then I make dinner, and help him again with his exercises.

Sounds exciting, right? lol Ah, you have to put some humor in these situations. I just feel like I lost my mojo a bit and wish I could be more productive and energized. 

[Batya33]

Is your dad eligible maybe via insurance for an aide to come a few hours a week -to relieve you?

[catfeeder]

1 hour ago, yogacat said:

Just wanted to say thanks!

My dad has limited mobility and uses a quad cane. He can't go out on his own, he's homebound. His right arm and hand are paralyzed, so he needs help with daily tasks like putting things on with zippers and tying his shoes, meals, showers, etc.

He's had a few close calls with falling. I have home health set up for him and they come a few times a week. I have two days off where I can take a break from basic caregiving tasks.

My dad needs a lot of help and I'm happy to do it, but when I have free time, I feel sad and unmotivated to do other things, like exercise. I used to be really into fitness, but lately I just can't seem to get back into it. I try to go for walks when I can, but it's not the same as a full workout.

I'm part-time student with 7 credits. I just checked my email and there's 20 new messages from my one class🤢. I'm in charge of an upcoming class presentation, so having some quiet days to focus on my own stuff feels like a rare luxury. Managing my dad's medical and general care just on the admin side is insane.

Luckily, I work from home and have some help from my brother and mom.

My typical day involves waking up before my dad so I can have some time for myself. Then I make breakfast for him, help him with his exercises, and take care of school/work/caregiving tasks for a few hours. I make his lunch, and then continue with other responsibilities. Then I make dinner, and help him again with his exercises.

Sounds exciting, right? lol Ah, you have to put some humor in these situations. I just feel like I lost my mojo a bit and wish I could be more productive and energized. 

Yes, I can hear the excitement, and I feel for you. You are likely burnt out, so trying to motivate yourself to exercise like your earlier self may be too much of a pile on at the moment. Your investment in your Dad’s safety and diligence in his exercise schedule and meals likely remains foremost in your mind even when attempting to tend to business or school work.

Walking may not feel as powerful and energizing as your workouts, but if you think of it as a basic form of resistance training that moves your whole mass across gravity without the impetus of running, in addition to raising your blood flow and oxygen intake, it’s hardly a bad deal in how to spend your time. So instead of comparing it with workouts, credit it for being what you need as a recovery phase against the stresses of juggling all else.

Consider ways to gently add some challenges just prior to the walk itself, even if this must cut some of your distance. For instance, require x number of sun salutations before walking, and increase this number gently over the course of a week, or x climbs up stairs, or a jog in place for x time plus a short sequence with small weights.

The goal is to incorporate only modest challenge, then use the walk as your combo plate of cool down and stress relief.

If you can schedule someone to stay with Dad while you take this time, you may feel less split minded about it, and more focused on creating pre-walk routines that motivate you, at very least, to beat yesterday’s session.

Until you feel more liberated from the demands of just one piece of your obligation puzzle, narrow your focus and don’t compare your performance with others or with any other point in your own life. Strive merely for contentment with what you CAN offer yourself and your loved ones, and push anything more difficult than that to a date to be determined.

Also consider testing out some caregiver support groups online or local to you. You may feel encouraged by those who understand your pressures and can offer tricks or other forms of help in managing them.

With you in spirit!

[Kwothe28]

13 hours ago, yogacat said:

But I never seem to find the time for a full self-care routine. I know it's important for my well-being, but it feels like a luxury that I can't afford in my current schedule.

I am sorry, but that is because you probably dont. Last year I did 2 jobs and took care of a sick parent. There wasnt even a time to go out properly let alone to dedicate to some kind of self care. Its a bit beter this year(due to my mom no longer being there sadly) but I did took one of those jobs to full time so am still keeping it very busy.

You would have to "pick your battles". Meaning that you do self care when other things dont take priority. For example school has frequent holidays. So then you can dedicate and find time to do something else. 

Also, being a caregiver is a full time job as well. And it does affect your mental health. Even when I got some time last year, I didnt do some of the stuff simply because I didnt feel like it. You would have to take that into a consideration as well. And that you would have to work on that too. Always leave time to at least talk to somebody. For example friends. 

[mylolita]

@yogacat Good song for one of those “Ohhhh what a day what a DAY!”

 

x

[mylolita]

1 minute ago, Kwothe28 said:

I am sorry, but that is because you probably dont. Last year I did 2 jobs and took care of a sick parent. There wasnt even a time to go out properly let alone to dedicate to some kind of self care. Its a bit beter this year(due to my mom no longer being there sadly) but I did took one of those jobs to full time so am still keeping it very busy.

You would have to "pick your battles". Meaning that you do self care when other things dont take priority. For example school has frequent holidays. So then you can dedicate and find time to do something else. 

Also, being a caregiver is a full time job as well. And it does affect your mental health. Even when I got some time last year, I didnt do some of the stuff simply because I didnt feel like it. You would have to take that into a consideration as well. And that you would have to work on that too. Always leave time to at least talk to somebody. For example friends. 

I think this is fantastic advice Kwothe - maybe you two could message if you need support and you know exactly what Yoga is talking about regarding caring for a parent?

 

I can’t imagine how testing and emotional that role is. 
 

x

[Wiseman2]

Hopefully he has a lot of ancillary care options available such as occupational therapy and physical therapy to help with Exercises and rehabilitation. 

[yogacat]

17 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Is your dad eligible maybe via insurance for an aide to come a few hours a week -to relieve you?

Great question! No, not at present--- I have applied for him for government assistance programs and contacted his insurance company about coverage for a home health aide, so I have to wait and see if we are approved for any of those. 

15 hours ago, catfeeder said:

Yes, I can hear the excitement, and I feel for you. You are likely burnt out, so trying to motivate yourself to exercise like your earlier self may be too much of a pile on at the moment. Your investment in your Dad’s safety and diligence in his exercise schedule and meals likely remains foremost in your mind even when attempting to tend to business or school work.

Walking may not feel as powerful and energizing as your workouts, but if you think of it as a basic form of resistance training that moves your whole mass across gravity without the impetus of running, in addition to raising your blood flow and oxygen intake, it’s hardly a bad deal in how to spend your time. So instead of comparing it with workouts, credit it for being what you need as a recovery phase against the stresses of juggling all else.

Consider ways to gently add some challenges just prior to the walk itself, even if this must cut some of your distance. For instance, require x number of sun salutations before walking, and increase this number gently over the course of a week, or x climbs up stairs, or a jog in place for x time plus a short sequence with small weights.

The goal is to incorporate only modest challenge, then use the walk as your combo plate of cool down and stress relief.

If you can schedule someone to stay with Dad while you take this time, you may feel less split minded about it, and more focused on creating pre-walk routines that motivate you, at very least, to beat yesterday’s session.

Until you feel more liberated from the demands of just one piece of your obligation puzzle, narrow your focus and don’t compare your performance with others or with any other point in your own life. Strive merely for contentment with what you CAN offer yourself and your loved ones, and push anything more difficult than that to a date to be determined.

Also consider testing out some caregiver support groups online or local to you. You may feel encouraged by those who understand your pressures and can offer tricks or other forms of help in managing them.

With you in spirit!

Hey catfeeder, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. Your words really struck a chord with me.

My dad's care is always on my mind, so I appreciate your understanding. He does have home health therapy twice a week, but I still have to assist him with his exercises every day because --- he is very wobbly and needs someone to help him maintain his balance (in response to @Wiseman2 comment).

Thanks for mentioning walking as a form of resistance training. It's hard to break the habit of comparing my current exercise level to my peak fitness days when I was into strength and balance training. But I've been doing some cool stuff with my friends lately, like archery and axe throwing, and I have some trips planned to southern LA this summer. It may not be as exciting as Montenegro, but I really need some quality "me time." I think I'll save longer hikes and walks for my upcoming trips and stick to shorter ones for now.

I've also consulted with a Respite program and he has an appointment mid-May, I know he's not going to want to go but I will explain to him that it's also for me so that I can be at my 100% when he's here. It's out of pocket and once a week but that will give me some time during the week.

It really does bring me joy sharing these moments with him, but at the same time it is heartbreaking to see someone that you've known to be strong all you life, be so fragile and dependent. 

9 hours ago, mylolita said:

@yogacat Good song for one of those “Ohhhh what a day what a DAY!”

 

x

mylolita, you're always so kind posting/sharing videos with me.🌻

[Batya33]

I - just wish you all the best.  I cannot imagine and have friends who have done what you are doing.  And my husband and one of our cousins with their parents.  It takes a rare human being -in so many ways. Immeasurable support and contributions you are making here.  Take care of yourself as best you can.

[yogacat]

Thanks @Batya33. I appreciate 🙏 it.

I was curious when I started this thread to see if anyone had the "secret sauce" of knowledge 🤓because I know so many people in the world have so much more challenging circumstances and I'm like, 'how?' 

I struggle to get on a walk 🚶‍♂️ 😩 albeit, I did just clean all the cobwebs from the backyard and the interior/exterior windows and swept up all the leaves from my pepper trees 🌳 that I love 💘 (but are secretly royal pain the tush). 

[mylolita]

14 hours ago, yogacat said:

Thanks @Batya33. I appreciate 🙏 it.

I was curious when I started this thread to see if anyone had the "secret sauce" of knowledge 🤓because I know so many people in the world have so much more challenging circumstances and I'm like, 'how?' 

I struggle to get on a walk 🚶‍♂️ 😩 albeit, I did just clean all the cobwebs from the backyard and the interior/exterior windows and swept up all the leaves from my pepper trees 🌳 that I love 💘 (but are secretly royal pain the tush). 

Yoga!

 

I think you are being too hard in yourself, I really do. We all do this - compare ourselves today to last year or when things seemed better. I suppose life has “seasons” and we have to ebb and flow with them like nature does.

 

I would honestly and genuinely congratulate yourself if you do go for a walk, or garden, or clean - or do anything you feel is productive and moving you forward. People unfortunately like your father no longer have the ability to enjoy the beautiful gift and simple pleasure - wonderment! - that is… going for a walk! Take it all in. 
 

I don’t know whether these type of suggestions fall into relaxation and a break per se but, they almost feel similar. Have you ever bent a situation to your liking and moulded it more to your tastes? It can give you a lovely feeling! 
 

For example, when you go to your Dads - maybe you could take music with you, put it on low? Or a bunch of flowers or trimmings from your pepper tree, let them spill out over a vase where he can see them! Ask him if he would like to go through photos? I used to do this with my Grandma and I learnt so much in the last year she was alive. You could have him sit out in his garden if he has one and you could garden there with music and coffee or tea for you both? You could bring something nice to eat? Light a candle that smells amazing somewhere you are both sitting? Things like this can just, being such joy, such gorgeous atmosphere for so little effort! 
 

Another example of this mini indulgence and romanticism to feel better: when I worked at a legal office at my desk, which was the front desk, I would bring a vase and fill it with fresh flowers every week. So when I was at my computer, I had the scent of stocks and something beautiful and natural to look at! 
 

I also had a very elegant mini clam shell filled with potpourri. The few women that worked there had a separate bathroom and I also added some in there, along with an antique glass lidded box at first I stored my lipstick in above the sink but then, the other women added their gloss and balms in and it was really glamorous! 
 

I also used to bring my own coffee into work and share it with everyone, and make iced tea or iced coffee during the summer. Even though this wouldn’t be classed as a work break, just a glance at those flowers, or two minutes to re-apply lipstick in the bathroom out of a beautiful trinket box - or drinking some really smooth coffee, kept me ticking over. 
 

I don’t think there is any secret sauce by the way Yoga! I think the secret, if there is any, is to know hard times will come and go, but to stop for a micro moment and appreciate yourself breathing and living and being present in the exact moment you find yourself in, and keeping life fun, and for me, beautiful whenever and wherever I can! 
 

x

[yogacat]

11 hours ago, mylolita said:

Yoga!

 

I think you are being too hard in yourself, I really do. We all do this - compare ourselves today to last year or when things seemed better. I suppose life has “seasons” and we have to ebb and flow with them like nature does.

 

I would honestly and genuinely congratulate yourself if you do go for a walk, or garden, or clean - or do anything you feel is productive and moving you forward. People unfortunately like your father no longer have the ability to enjoy the beautiful gift and simple pleasure - wonderment! - that is… going for a walk! Take it all in. 
 

I don’t know whether these type of suggestions fall into relaxation and a break per se but, they almost feel similar. Have you ever bent a situation to your liking and moulded it more to your tastes? It can give you a lovely feeling! 
 

For example, when you go to your Dads - maybe you could take music with you, put it on low? Or a bunch of flowers or trimmings from your pepper tree, let them spill out over a vase where he can see them! Ask him if he would like to go through photos? I used to do this with my Grandma and I learnt so much in the last year she was alive. You could have him sit out in his garden if he has one and you could garden there with music and coffee or tea for you both? You could bring something nice to eat? Light a candle that smells amazing somewhere you are both sitting? Things like this can just, being such joy, such gorgeous atmosphere for so little effort! 
 

Another example of this mini indulgence and romanticism to feel better: when I worked at a legal office at my desk, which was the front desk, I would bring a vase and fill it with fresh flowers every week. So when I was at my computer, I had the scent of stocks and something beautiful and natural to look at! 
 

I also had a very elegant mini clam shell filled with potpourri. The few women that worked there had a separate bathroom and I also added some in there, along with an antique glass lidded box at first I stored my lipstick in above the sink but then, the other women added their gloss and balms in and it was really glamorous! 
 

I also used to bring my own coffee into work and share it with everyone, and make iced tea or iced coffee during the summer. Even though this wouldn’t be classed as a work break, just a glance at those flowers, or two minutes to re-apply lipstick in the bathroom out of a beautiful trinket box - or drinking some really smooth coffee, kept me ticking over. 
 

I don’t think there is any secret sauce by the way Yoga! I think the secret, if there is any, is to know hard times will come and go, but to stop for a micro moment and appreciate yourself breathing and living and being present in the exact moment you find yourself in, and keeping life fun, and for me, beautiful whenever and wherever I can! 
 

x

Thank you. ❤️

For you my dear...From my garden.

 

[mylolita]

48 minutes ago, yogacat said:

Thank you. ❤️

For you my dear...From my garden.

 

♥️!!! 🌹!!!

 

x

[ShySoul]

On 4/27/2024 at 11:26 AM, yogacat said:

I was curious when I started this thread to see if anyone had the "secret sauce" of knowledge 🤓because I know so many people in the world have so much more challenging circumstances and I'm like, 'how?' 

I've found one of the secrets to life is to stop comparing yourself to others. Some people people find ways to be super productive and get more done by 8am then other people can in a week, Some people are able to handle absurd situations with no sweat. I say good for them. But that doesn't mean they are doing something right and the rest of us aren't. 

The important thing is to focus on you're life and do the best you can. Give yourself a break. You don't have to be a superhero who does everything. Realize you're human and can only do so much. Do what you can and learn to be okay with it. Life won't fall apart if you can't get to eveything. It's far more important to be happy with yourself and enjoy life. If a few things don't get cross of the checklist, so be it. 

14 hours ago, mylolita said:

I think the secret, if there is any, is to know hard times will come and go, but to stop for a micro moment and appreciate yourself breathing and living and being present in the exact moment you find yourself in, and keeping life fun, and for me, beautiful whenever and wherever I can! 

True and beautifully stated. I should probably do that a bit more myself. 

[yogacat]

22 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

I've found one of the secrets to life is to stop comparing yourself to others. Some people people find ways to be super productive and get more done by 8am then other people can in a week, Some people are able to handle absurd situations with no sweat. I say good for them. But that doesn't mean they are doing something right and the rest of us aren't. 

The important thing is to focus on you're life and do the best you can. Give yourself a break. You don't have to be a superhero who does everything. Realize you're human and can only do so much. Do what you can and learn to be okay with it. Life won't fall apart if you can't get to eveything. It's far more important to be happy with yourself and enjoy life. If a few things don't get cross of the checklist, so be it. 

I like it. Thank you.

I think it's due in part to my competitive nature and my perfectionist tendencies. It's kind of like, if I start doing a full self-care routine, I have to do it perfectly and consistently, and if I can't do it that way, then I shouldn't do it at all. 

[Batya33]

11 minutes ago, yogacat said:

I like it. Thank you.

I think it's due in part to my competitive nature and my perfectionist tendencies. It's kind of like, if I start doing a full self-care routine, I have to do it perfectly and consistently, and if I can't do it that way, then I shouldn't do it at all. 

I also tend that way.  I get it.  And, like you since I am a caregiver too, albeit to a teenager, I have musts on my checklist too.  How about this - cut yourself slack -in a proactive, remind yourself way - on whatever you can as far as the routine you come up with to take care of yourself and have as few musts as possible -I have musts and for me it works  - because the benefits outweigh the perfectionist stuff -worth it on balance.  

I agree with not comparing especially given your current situation!

[ShySoul]

2 hours ago, yogacat said:

I think it's due in part to my competitive nature and my perfectionist tendencies. It's kind of like, if I start doing a full self-care routine, I have to do it perfectly and consistently, and if I can't do it that way, then I shouldn't do it at all. 

I hear you. When I was a child I'd get angry with myself over losing a board game or getting (gasp) an A-. I expected so much of myself that it was really an impossible standard. It took years to try to shift perspectives. I still have to be careful about avoiding putting myself in situations where that perfectionist and competitive streak start to come up.

I agree with Batya, figure out what are the musts on the list. Take care of those first. Then see what are the things you'd like to have done and what things really can wait. Do what you can, but don't overstress yourself. Delegate if you have to. 

Self care shouldn't become an all or nothing proposition that stresses you out on how to do it. That kind of defeats the point, lol. As a friend always says to me, start small. Do the little things here and there. You don't need a full scale production out of it. The little things eventually add up.

[Cherylyn]

My secret sauce is limiting screen time.  If I can get away with it,  there will be days or weeks before I turn the TV on.  I tend to steer clear of excessive social media because it turns into a huge time trap.  I reduce my cell phone use as much as possible. 

It's amazing how productive and industrious I am when I can concentrate on my work,  home chores,  decluttering,  discarding,  organizing,  cleaning,  cooking,  hobbies,  reading library books, fitness and the like. 

When you prioritize your tasks and eliminate time wasters,  you can check more off your 'to-do' list.  🙂

[LootieTootie]

I realized that the older I get, life gets more in the way. I used to wake up early and go to the gym at 5am and have a shower at the gym, blow-dry my hair, put on make-up, get dressed and go work. That was my self-care for many years and I love the feeling - having that drive every morning. As I got older, I got in to this sedentary life and theres really no internal drive - just wanting the weekend to come. And even when the weekend comes, theres functions all the time. 

So what I do now is I think ahead of time. If I know for certain that theres going to be a weekend where 1) I don't have any functions to attend, 2) not have any visitors, and 3) my husband and the dogs are out camping -  I put on my calendar that's my me-time weekend. I plan what I am going to do all weekend. I also make sure that means no TV, no responding to texts unless needed and no responding to work calls and emails.

I also get lucky if I get to be on here and post sometimes. It's hard when I see a thread I want to respond to, but can't for days. Sighs...