Ladies, thoughts on possible interest from woman at restaurant?

[smackie9]

12 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

Oddly enough, not so, heh heh.  

This link is long but here are photos of some of the diners.

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1PRFI_enGB848GB848&source=univ&tbm=isch&q="first+naked+restaurant"+bunyadi+uk&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiM6o-k37DyAhUHhv0HHaMZAb4Q420oAHoECA4QBA&biw=1920&bih=937

As for the topless bars (not the same as a strip club) there are all kinds having a drink in those, and the oldies in a minority.

 

If you notice it's the same attractive blonde girl featured in most of the photos.

[LaHermes]

I can assure you, Smackie, it is NOT me!  LMAO. 

 

[boltnrun]

Where I used to live (party city USA) there were topless pools.  Women were charged $5 admission; men were charged $50.  The men paid.

A former coworker worked as a "brand ambassador" for one of the party pools (NOT a topless pool).  So many men "fell in love" with her!  They thought she was being sweet and nice because she actually liked them, but she was just doing her job.

OP, I wonder if this young woman is looking for a "sponsor". 

**Edited because I recalled some parts of the original post incorrectly.  She did paperwork not school work at your table.  

[dias]

46 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

  Women were charged $5 admission; men were charged $50.  The men paid

Men are dumb indeed!

[boltnrun]

6 minutes ago, dias said:

Men are dumb indeed!

Why do you say that?

I haven't been to that many clubs but when I did go the admission fee was always much more for men than for women.  Apparently the theory is the men will go where the women are.

[dias]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

Why do you say that?

I haven't been to that many clubs but when I did go the admission fee was always much more for men than for women.  Apparently the theory is the men will go where the women are.

Yes but the difference between 5 and 50 is huge. I personally would not pay(not because of the money), the business monetized men's stupidity, some men would pay crazy amount of money to see boobs (not even for sex). Well, I know guys who would eat dogsh*t from a dumpster for a p***y so I am not surprised.

In OP's case , chances are the girl is just being friendly, he has to ask her out otherwise he will never know.

[LaHermes]

Dias has a point. The sex-starved (and even in these permissive times many do exist, for a number of reasons) , would crawl over broken glass just to "grab a look", never mind "grab a feel".  And they are not oldsters either.  

There is even a disorder: Voyeuristic Disorder.  In plainer terms "peeping Tom disorder", where the unfortunate can actually get into a venue (for big bucks) and "peep"  (aka gawk) openly (not secretly) at the wares on display there.  

[waffle]

3 hours ago, LaHermes said:

Dias has a point. The sex-starved (and even in these permissive times many do exist, for a number of reasons) , would crawl over broken glass just to "grab a look", never mind "grab a feel".  And they are not oldsters either.  

There is even a disorder: Voyeuristic Disorder.  In plainer terms "peeping Tom disorder", where the unfortunate can actually get into a venue (for big bucks) and "peep"  (aka gawk) openly (not secretly) at the wares on display there.  

I don't see it is a referendum on mens' intelligence or lack of, but rather a Supply and Demand issue.  I guess I'm more surprised that women would pay $5.00 to be objectified when we can literally step outside our house on any day of the week and have it done to us for free.  I can see why the men are charged so much.  Otherwise if it were $5.00 for the men, there would be lines out the door and around the block and miles down the road.

[boltnrun]

5 minutes ago, waffle said:

I don't see it is a referendum on mens' intelligence or lack of, but rather a Supply and Demand issue.  I guess I'm more surprised that women would pay $5.00 to be objectified when we can literally step outside our house on any day of the week and have it done to us for free.  I can see why the men are charged so much.  Otherwise if it were $5.00 for the men, there would be lines out the door and around the block and miles down the road.

I think they're trying to discourage the perverts.  They figure a weirdo who just wants to leer at boobies isn't going to be willing to shell out $50.  And the women love the party atmosphere.  Plus, with the amount of alcohol that's involved there's a lot of loose inhibitions for men and women.

OP, have you decided if you're going to ask her out?

[LaHermes]

Er, Waffle, I don't think I quite follow you. I don't think women are paying the 5 Euro or whatever at the door to be "objectified". I think it is simply the admittance fee to the premises. The same as the fee to enter any club. 

I have never been "objectified" outside my door for free or otherwise. 

[Jimmy Jon]

I thought this out a bit more than I probably should have, but I think decided not to pursue this woman outright, but rather just convey my interest and let her take the lead.  It might not be considered "manly" but after looking more into how these woman are trained, coupled with the fact that I was there alone, might have opened a flirty door with her as she might have thought I "desired attention".  Really in any other setting, telling a man he is sexy is usually an interested bell, but that seems to be a bell they reach for.  

I really like visiting this place and really don't want to make it awkward for myself.  

As not being a noob to being hit on, I had to think about things women typically do, and one that is a dead ringer is "so are you single" or "where is your girlfriend".  Those types of question have not come up so I think it is just as likely that she sees me as a nice person that is easy to serve and banter with, and tips well.  

I also think due to not having a woman in my life for so long, I probably let my mind step into an irrational state.  

 

[boltnrun]

53 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

Er, Waffle, I don't think I quite follow you. I don't think women are paying the 5 Euro or whatever at the door to be "objectified". I think it is simply the admittance fee to the premises. The same as the fee to enter any club. 

I have never been "objectified" outside my door for free or otherwise. 

The men are equally "objectified", then.  They are shirtless and many are in Speedos (ick factor there...I don't need to see their grape smugglers).

Anyway...I'm kind of sorry I brought up the topless pools.  This has turned into a doozy of a rabbit hole.

[boltnrun]

How do you plan to "convey your interest"?

I honestly think that's kind of odd.  You hardly know this woman.  She has interacted with you in a nice, friendly way at work but you haven't seen her outside of work (right?). So saying you're "interested" seems a bit forward and jumping the gun.

I would stick to asking her out for coffee.  Say something like "I'd love to continue this conversation.  Want to go to Local Coffee Spot after work tomorrow?"

[Jimmy Jon]

Just now, boltnrun said:

How do you plan to "convey your interest"?

I honestly think that's kind of odd.  You hardly know this woman.  She has interacted with you in a nice, friendly way at work but you haven't seen her outside of work (right?). So saying you're "interested" seems a bit forward and jumping the gun.

I would stick to asking her out for coffee.  Say something like "I'd love to continue this conversation.  Want to go to Local Coffee Spot after work tomorrow?"

Honestly, I have not given it much thought as I think I made the decision to not let this matter become a priority.  I think when I said "convey interest", I just mean be a little more forward that I have some romantic interest in her.  Obviously that road can change very quickly. So far I have been pretty passive with her.  Really I think asking for her personally and telling her that I just returned to see her should be enough but I realize most men will just go bold.  

I have realized in life, I rarely chase.  Like all of my exes came to me and pretty much made it clear they had interest and that was that.  It has not made me very experienced trying to reel one in.  I just operate different I guess.  I am usually the guy that is quiet but oddly confident but when someone strikes a convo, they realize I know shi&.  

As for "coffee"....all I can say is it just seems too cliche for me.  Every app, every forum, everything says "get coffee".....lol  If there is one thing about me, I am different would likely use my humor like "so.....here is the thing, I need someone to walk my dog with me.  Oh I will certainly be there but you would have to hold the leash....(my dog doesn't even need a leash)..."  I realize I just pulled that out of thin air, but I gotta be more original than coffee....lol  But I know what you are saying.  

[lostandhurt]

Jimmy,

Coffee may be cliche but it is the universal first meet/date and is well understood it is a real date so there is no misunderstanding. 

I am curious what your age and what her estimated age is?

  I am kind of at a loss as how you are going to convey more interest, seems to me she has put forth a fair amount of interest herself.  

  Anyways keep us posted on how it goes and good luck

Lost

[Jimmy Jon]

Just now, lostandhurt said:

Jimmy,

Coffee may be cliche but it is the universal first meet/date and is well understood it is a real date so there is no misunderstanding. 

I am curious what your age and what her estimated age is?

  I am kind of at a loss as how you are going to convey more interest, seems to me she has put forth a fair amount of interest herself.  

  Anyways keep us posted on how it goes and good luck

Lost

She gave me her age.  There is about a 15yr gap!  I certainly don't have confidence issues with that, but I think it is pushing it regarding "relatable".  My late friend and FWB of 3yrs was 4yrs older than her and we never had age related issues.  I always found it fun that she would bring me the next slang term and trend.  I remember is talking about "bae"....like ***....

As far as signs or signals, normally this all would be pretty obvious, but because these girls are trained to flirt and be playful, I am questioning things.  I think I am mostly just mentally locking myself down.  It is just a protection thing I do.  I don't enjoy rejection I guess.  

[Wiseman2]

40 minutes ago, Jimmy Jon said:

.  There is about a 15yr gap  

Well yes. That's the money making part of it as far as tips and the establishment.

It's their job to wear skimpy clothes, flirt and bring in cash that way.👙

I'm sure if you look around the place you're not seeing waitresses that are 15 years your senior.👵

You'll also notice a lot more male customers, no?

Unfortunately it's all about the money 💰.

Try to greive the loss of your GF. It's ok to hang out places you enjoy but picking up waitresses based on nice nubile flesh is not how to go about dating again.

[Jimmy Jon]

Just thought I would share my recent revisit to this place.  She was working, certainly remembered me and my name, all the hugs, etc.  After a bit she told me she was getting off early because they were not busy so she was going to get a beer and come sit with me.  There were a few interruptions but we chatted about a few things.  I guess her ride showed up so she told me she "loved me" (we all realize she just meant very cool with me), gave me a big hug, and hopped in a car with a guy....lol

She was my server before she got off but she just brought me a receipt for the drinks and said I could not tip her.  

Now, I had already mentally just accepted this deal for whatever it really is, which I just don't even know, but some of this was confusing I guess....ha....

No, I did not ask for a number or really even try to pursue her beyond friendzies.  I think I decided if she wanted to advance things, she can make that very clear due to where she works.  She did tell me I was cute, sexy, etc, etc.  

Not sharing to gloat or whatev, probably just more confused.....lol  I don't deal with these breastaurant girls much so idk what to think

[MissCanuck]

Yeah, she sounds like she knows how to flirt and work a guy - and she's already got someone else she spends time with outside work. 

I think she enjoys your company and might indeed find you attractive, but she knows exactly how to butter up her regulars. 

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Jimmy Jon said:

 hopped in a car with a guy....

You're a good customer. But this is not a relationship. It's unlikely she's unattached and looking for dates at work.

[boltnrun]

You've been giving her 30%+ tips so obviously what she's been doing works very well for her.

[Rose Mosse]

10 hours ago, Jimmy Jon said:

Just thought I would share my recent revisit to this place.  She was working, certainly remembered me and my name, all the hugs, etc.  After a bit she told me she was getting off early because they were not busy so she was going to get a beer and come sit with me.  There were a few interruptions but we chatted about a few things.  I guess her ride showed up so she told me she "loved me" (we all realize she just meant very cool with me), gave me a big hug, and hopped in a car with a guy....lol

She was my server before she got off but she just brought me a receipt for the drinks and said I could not tip her.  

Now, I had already mentally just accepted this deal for whatever it really is, which I just don't even know, but some of this was confusing I guess....ha....

No, I did not ask for a number or really even try to pursue her beyond friendzies.  I think I decided if she wanted to advance things, she can make that very clear due to where she works.  She did tell me I was cute, sexy, etc, etc.  

Not sharing to gloat or whatev, probably just more confused.....lol  I don't deal with these breastaurant girls much so idk what to think

You seem flattered by the attention and I would guess that it feels good so that’s why you continue to return. 

Is there any reason why you’re not able to speak to women elsewhere, not while they’re working? Are you able to meet available women in your area? 

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, Jimmy Jon said:

Just thought I would share my recent revisit to this place.  She was working, certainly remembered me and my name, all the hugs, etc.  After a bit she told me she was getting off early because they were not busy so she was going to get a beer and come sit with me.  There were a few interruptions but we chatted about a few things.  I guess her ride showed up so she told me she "loved me" (we all realize she just meant very cool with me), gave me a big hug, and hopped in a car with a guy....lol

She was my server before she got off but she just brought me a receipt for the drinks and said I could not tip her.  

Now, I had already mentally just accepted this deal for whatever it really is, which I just don't even know, but some of this was confusing I guess....ha....

No, I did not ask for a number or really even try to pursue her beyond friendzies.  I think I decided if she wanted to advance things, she can make that very clear due to where she works.  She did tell me I was cute, sexy, etc, etc.  

Not sharing to gloat or whatev, probably just more confused.....lol  I don't deal with these breastaurant girls much so idk what to think

Nothing to think about -at the moment she felt like having a beer with you, sees that it works to flatter you, and I would think since it is at her place of work she's been advised to do that to keep the revenue from you flowing.  What's confusing -you are confusing yourself by overthinking.  

[Jimmy Jon]

I saw it as a more friendly encounter.  I am cool with whatev.  I realize most are saying she is "buttering me up", but not allowing me to tip her does not quite align.  In any case, I was just sharing the interaction.  I didn't go there "hoping" for anything.  I think she was just in a place of comfort as I was not trying to hit on her, ask for a number, etc.  Just chit chat.  Totally cool with it.  

[abitbroken]

On 8/13/2021 at 12:52 PM, Jimmy Jon said:

have went there a few times now.  I never ask for her but she has sought me out, lots of hugs, pinches, touching, telling me I am sexy

Sorry, that's pretty much sexual harassment to me. If the genders were reversed, there is no way it would fly.  Honestly, i would break someone's finger if they pinched me. 

If i were you its one thing if you bonded over talking about hiking or dogs and sort of one of you said "well, there is a great trail at the nature preserve..." and one of you took the other up on the offer that's one thing but immediately telling someone where you live? You might be flattered but i think its pretty boundary crossing but that's me