Emotional support group Covid19

[Batya33]

Just a little vent...

My neighbours are driving me crazy. They've been partying and having people coming and going through out this whole thing. There is loud noise all night, music people screeching and even little kids running everywhere into the wee hours of the morning. I've seen the cops over there a few times. It's still happening.

I just want peace and quiet. This is hard enough, don't be a jerk to your neighbours. Today, after barely sleeping last night, some of the kids were in our yard and banging on our windows because they saw our cats. I finally had it, and called non emergency, asking if they'd go check up on those kids. I really don't want to be calling right now as they are burdened enough!

So yeah. Gonna try and nap now if I can.

 

Oh that is awful!!! Here we have quiet hours and we've been fine but I know some neighbors have had noise issues(not because of us at least I hope not LOL)

 

I did play Rappers Delight pretty loudly the other afternoon but hopefully everyone enjoyed. 15 minute long version because I was only a bit older than my son when the song came out (very popular at the roller disco).

[bluecastle]

I just can't help think if we would just hold on and be disciplined a few more weeks, that that would make the difference.

Its' the mounting pressure and that fact that people do have personal rights is what's obviously swaying things.

 

They can choose as they please, but that very choice threatens the rest of us who see it differently.

I hope I'm wrong, but when this all backfires, I will cry. It's such a shame.

 

Totally hear you on all this. We didn't need the pandemic to know that patience is in short supply, particularly in the big nation I call home, but it strikes me as beyond unfortunate that we may very well face some tragic consequences in indulging impatience.

[boltnrun]

I totally get the economic impact for people who cannot work and who have no alternative means of income and little to no savings. I can't imagine the fear and stress. I also can't imagine having to choose between feeding your family and trying to avoid being exposed and/or becoming ill.

 

I truly fear going to work but I do realize I am fortunate to still have a paycheck coming in.

[Seraphim]

Just a little vent...

My neighbours are driving me crazy. They've been partying and having people coming and going through out this whole thing. There is loud noise all night, music people screeching and even little kids running everywhere into the wee hours of the morning. I've seen the cops over there a few times. It's still happening.

I just want peace and quiet. This is hard enough, don't be a jerk to your neighbours. Today, after barely sleeping last night, some of the kids were in our yard and banging on our windows because they saw our cats. I finally had it, and called non emergency, asking if they'd go check up on those kids. I really don't want to be calling right now as they are burdened enough!

So yeah. Gonna try and nap now if I can.

 

I am sorry you have ashwipe neighbours.

[Seraphim]

I totally get the economic impact for people who cannot work and who have no alternative means of income and little to no savings. I can't imagine the fear and stress. I also can't imagine having to choose between feeding your family and trying to avoid being exposed and/or becoming ill.

 

I truly fear going to work but I do realize I am fortunate to still have a paycheck coming in.

That’s the thing a lot of people have this agonizing issue. And then some people don’t care.

[Leah33]

I ordered wipes from an online retailer. Two hours later they cancelled my order "unavailable" so now I have a $10 coupon if I choose to return. But no extra wipes...

 

We were fortunate we had tons of toilet paper and paper towels to begin with but we started running out. Hope you can find some wipes soon!

[Batya33]

We were fortunate we had tons of toilet paper and paper towels to begin with but we started running out. Hope you can find some wipes soon!

 

Same exact here and I'd ordered extra wipes by accident a few months earlier so we're hanging in. Hope you are well!!

[Leah33]

Same exact here and I'd ordered extra wipes by accident a few months earlier so we're hanging in. Hope you are well!!

 

Thank you, I hope you are doing well too!

[reinventmyself]

I ordered those disposable face masks through Amazon. I've waited two weeks when the vendor had them available. If you were to go back to today, it states currently unavailable.

 

They were to arrive by end of day yesterday. Last night I get an update of a push back date with a note stating if I don't receive them at all I can request a refund.

 

Uhg. . why waste my time if they couldn't deliver them to begin with?

[Seraphim]

I ordered those disposable face masks through Amazon. I've waited two weeks when the vendor had them available. If you were to go back to today, it states currently unavailable.

 

They were to arrive by end of day yesterday. Last night I get an update of a push back date with a note stating if I don't receive them at all I can request a refund.

 

Uhg. . why waste my time if they couldn't deliver them to begin with?

I made my own (. Crochet and cotton) and went to local vendors for cloth ones.

[itsallgrand]

Thanks Batya and Vic. It made me laugh thinking of you jamming to Rappers Delight Batya. Endearing.

And I needed to hear someone else recognize them as buttwipes Vic. Lol.

 

Feel much better after a long nap and actual sleep last night! I have been trying to give everyone triple slack because we are all dealing with a lot right now. Regular noises, I don't care, but these guys...I'm done.

[Batya33]

Oh my goodness - and I understand about the noise and buttwjpe lol. My huge accomplishment today was realizing I needed to escape and I braved Trader Joe’s for the first time since before this buttwipe virus. Scenic one mile walk each way too. Feeling better and they did a great job making customers feel safe and comfortable. Yes. Itsallgrand Rappers Delight is classic. So many memories. And luckily anything mildly inappropriate went over his head. Hope you sleep well tonight too.

[itsallgrand]

That's great! I loved visiting Trader Joe's when I'd go to the States. Such a fun store.

[Seraphim]

Thanks Batya and Vic. It made me laugh thinking of you jamming to Rappers Delight Batya. Endearing.

And I needed to hear someone else recognize them as buttwipes Vic. Lol.

 

Feel much better after a long nap and actual sleep last night! I have been trying to give everyone triple slack because we are all dealing with a lot right now. Regular noises, I don't care, but these guys...I'm done.

 

Trust me to call a spade a spade.’😂

[Wiseman2]

A place where there is no Coronavirus and how they did that: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/06/us/coronavirus-american-samoa.html

[boltnrun]

A place where there is no Coronavirus and how they did that: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/06/us/coronavirus-american-samoa.html

 

Too late for the US!

[itsallgrand]

A place where there is no Coronavirus and how they did that: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/06/us/coronavirus-american-samoa.html

 

Interesting article, thanks! Really wish other countries take this as a lesson, cause it's not like this isn't going to happen again. This is like " trial run ".

[Fudgie]

Every 100 years or so, there is a pandemic, or at least something close to it...what was it, Spanish flu in 1918, then I think it was a big cholera outbreak in the early 1800s...forgive me, I'm a little hazy (been having some wine!).

 

I definitely do think we are living through history right now. That said, this blows and I have worries about what life will be like after this so I'm not really jazzed about living through this. I was born too early.

 

That said, I am trying to keep myself sane. Classes start again for me (yay...online, but can't go to a library or cafe...) and I'm still working full time. My patients are doing TERRIBLY. I think the mental toll of not having visitors (and no, staff doesn't count) is coming down on them and I do think a couple of them are going to die rather soon. Not from COVID but from broken, lonely hearts.

[awkpanda]

I think most of us could use some emotional support through the pandemic.

 

Sorry if this was addressed before – I didn't get a chance to read through all the pages.

 

I'm feeling some "guilt" about my response to the pandemic. So far I have been very fortunate. No health worries. No financial worries. No kids at home to care for or teach. No elderly at home to worry about infecting. In fact, I worked from home before the pandemic too, so my life hasn't changed all that much.

 

But I'm still feeling unhappy? Why? Because I cannot go to my favorite cafes. Because I can't meet up with my friends in some restaurant, with the view of the beach, and enjoy the spring sun. Because I cannot go on nice international holidays anytime soon.

 

On a rational level, I know allowing myself to "feel" sadness is the healthy thing to do, no matter how unreasonable or comical it could seem to others. However, on the emotional level, I can't help but see myself as a complete douchebag for even having these feelings. My internal dialogue goes something like this: "People are losing their loved ones, their businesses, their jobs. Some can't pay rent or even afford basics like medicine or food for their family ... and you are SAD about your espresso by the beach???" So I get blocked, and I don't think I'm really allowing myself to acknowledge what I really feel (no matter how stupid or unreasonable it is).

[Seraphim]

Sorry if this was addressed before – I didn't get a chance to read through all the pages.

 

I'm feeling some "guilt" about my response to the pandemic. So far I have been very fortunate. No health worries. No financial worries. No kids at home to care for or teach. No elderly at home to worry about infecting. In fact, I worked from home before the pandemic too, so my life hasn't changed all that much.

 

But I'm still feeling unhappy? Why? Because I cannot go to my favorite cafes. Because I can't meet up with my friends in some restaurant, with the view of the beach, and enjoy the spring sun. Because I cannot go on nice international holidays anytime soon.

 

On a rational level, I know allowing myself to "feel" sadness is the healthy thing to do, no matter how unreasonable or comical it could seem to others. However, on the emotional level, I can't help but see myself as a complete douchebag for even having these feelings. My internal dialogue goes something like this: "People are losing their loved ones, their businesses, their jobs. Some can't pay rent or even afford basics like medicine or food for their family ... and you are SAD about your espresso by the beach???" So I get blocked, and I don't think I'm really allowing myself to acknowledge what I really feel (no matter how stupid or unreasonable it is).

 

Feelings just are. Everyone has lost something in this pandemic. Don’t be hard on yourself.

[bluecastle]

I think a lot of people feel some version of that, awkpanda. Agree with Sera that feelings are feelings: always valid of being felt, not judged, which I think of as a kind of misguided coping mechanism—a way to lessen the full weight of whatever it is we're feeling when it just wants to be felt. Even if it's missing espresso at sunset.

 

An easier sentence to write down than to inhabit, of course.

 

Odds are, at any given moment, you are feeling sad or distraught by something that, in comparison to what another human is experiencing, is a minor note, a stubbed toe. Is what it is, and it's okay.

[Batya33]

Sorry if this was addressed before – I didn't get a chance to read through all the pages.

 

I'm feeling some "guilt" about my response to the pandemic. So far I have been very fortunate. No health worries. No financial worries. No kids at home to care for or teach. No elderly at home to worry about infecting. In fact, I worked from home before the pandemic too, so my life hasn't changed all that much.

 

But I'm still feeling unhappy? Why? Because I cannot go to my favorite cafes. Because I can't meet up with my friends in some restaurant, with the view of the beach, and enjoy the spring sun. Because I cannot go on nice international holidays anytime soon.

 

On a rational level, I know allowing myself to "feel" sadness is the healthy thing to do, no matter how unreasonable or comical it could seem to others. However, on the emotional level, I can't help but see myself as a complete douchebag for even having these feelings. My internal dialogue goes something like this: "People are losing their loved ones, their businesses, their jobs. Some can't pay rent or even afford basics like medicine or food for their family ... and you are SAD about your espresso by the beach???" So I get blocked, and I don't think I'm really allowing myself to acknowledge what I really feel (no matter how stupid or unreasonable it is).

 

So here's the thing -your feelings and your disappointments are perfectly valid - just choose to be selective in how you share and express those feelings to prevent coming across as callous or thoughtless.

 

We have jobs, we can telework, we have a child at home who hates online learning and is way too cooped up. We lost a family friend's sister the other day to the virus and a dear friend's dad.

 

I also miss: my favorite cookies, Starbucks, my building's fitness room, having me time, being able to shop normally and get cleaning supplies normally -meaning, without thinking about it, etc.

 

And I choose who I share what with.

 

During 9-11 people had "survivor guilt" because they ran from the area, got covered with soot and dust -and survived. I get the whole perspective thing but yes your feelings are valid!

[boltnrun]

I feel guilty for praying that someone close to me who had to get tested, tests negative. This person works with someone who tested positive and is currently waiting for the test results. This is someone I care deeply for and it would be devastating for me personally if this person tests positive as it will impact someone else dear to me. But as I pray, I feel guilty for asking since so many others prayed and their loved one still tested positive and became ill. So, why should my loved one be spared when so many others were not? Yet, I still desperately want my loved one to be spared anyway.

 

I am fearful and anxious, not just for myself but for my loved ones. When I imagine months if not years of living in fear and anxiety I can't even fathom how that will be. How can we all live like this??

 

However, one thing I know about humans is they adapt. Some resist adapting and others are able to adapt more easily.

 

I just wish people were more considerate of those who are more fearful and who are not adapting as easily.

[awkpanda]

[...]just choose to be selective in how you share and express those feelings to prevent coming across as callous or thoughtless.

 

Thanks, I think that's the key. I can't really express these feelings out loud, I would come across as totally out of touch (and that's the best case scenario).

[bluecastle]

Thanks, I think that's the key. I can't really express these feelings out loud, I would come across as totally out of touch (and that's the best case scenario).

 

I would say that you recognize this shows that you are pretty in touch—aware of when it's right to share certain feelings about all this, and when it's maybe best to keep them to yourself.

 

One of the hardest things for me during this time has been how "out of touch" my closest friend has been, in terms of tone and perspective. He's a great guy, with a wonderful heart, but he can be a bit myopic, not the most nuanced "reader of the room," you could say. In this climate, that's surfaced in some pretty glaring (if unintentional) insensitivities to the realities that others (people at large, people he is close to) are presently facing that the nature of his reality and birthright keep him insulated from. I don't begrudge him what he has—and genuinely feel for him, as a person living through an improbably moment along with the rest of humanity—but I've had to distance myself from him during this.

 

All in all, I think this gets at something here that is quite tough for many: we are all craving connection and support—as we always are, as humans—but this is a moment when certain chasms are more pronounced than usual, requiring a level of sensitivity that can be at odds with giving and getting the support we crave.