Hollsmaur Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Okay so I didn’t really know what to put as the title, but here goes. So basically, I have a YouTube channel and I film and upload videos as a hobby and I love doing it. However my boyfriend said he’s never gonna watch them? I’m not gonna force him to watch them obviously but he just said he doesn’t want to watch them and it kinda hurts. I said i’d send him the link to watch when I’ve uploaded but he said he won’t watch it. Like I love doing it and he just don’t care about watching them, but he watches videos on YouTube all the time. Makes me feel like he’s embarrassed of me.. am I overreacting? Link to comment
SherrySher Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 At the very least, he should watch them in order to show support to you. The fact that he flatly refuses, shows that he does not care and is not a very supportive partner. It's your decision on whether you are willing to stay with someone like that or not. I mean, how hard is it to hit play? What a jerk. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 What are the videos about? Maybe your topics do not appeal to him or maybe the offend him. Link to comment
bluecastle Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Can I ask how long you've been together? All in all, I guess it comes down to how important it is for this aspect of your life to be supported, and what that support looks like. I make my living making something that the public consumes, for instance, but I've never been particularly interested in my partners (or friends, family, etc.) consuming it. They can, they can't. What's most essential to me, support-wise, is that I feel like the energy I put into it and the process involved is respected, since it's a pretty big part of the fabric that makes me me. Why are you assuming he is embarrassed? Has he explained at all about why your videos make him uncomfortable? Or is he just being fully dismissive? Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 This isn't a hard and fast rule but what I've generally found is that if there is often not enough of a person to go around (ie, not enough interest in you or life), there usually isn't enough of that person there in the first place. Yes, logic. It's a wonderful thing. In other words, he's not feeling like himself. If your partner isn't as engaged in your personal life, where else are you both supposed to connect? You're not supposed to be clones of each other but there should be some genuine interest. If he's treating your videos like a vampire might run away from garlic in a cartoon, this wouldn't make anyone feel so great. I'm also thinking that as an 'influencer' or someone who takes to social media, you may be particularly sensitive to your viewers and their opinions. It's natural for you to wonder why a particular audience doesn't like what you're doing. You're just wired like that whereas individuals who might not give a damn what others think or are not 'influencers' wouldn't care as much. Take it with a pinch of salt, I think. Ask yourself if you're feeling ok. Check in and see whether he's feeling ok. Both of you should feel welcome and free to pursue your interests and be respectful of each other. You're not always going to overlap in intensity when it comes to different interests but there should be some desire to engage with you. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Why is he not interested? It's only 16 weeks of dating. Why not enjoy your own hobbies for you. It' not something he needs to get involved in. That's ok, he doesn't have to watch them if you love doing this hobby. Stop shoving it down his throat. It has nothing to do with you or your relationship, he just doesn't want things forced on him that he then "has to" like or comment on. Enjoy the hobby with your friends and followers. I have a YouTube channel and I film and upload videos as a hobby and I love doing it. However my boyfriend said he’s never gonna watch them? Like I love doing it and he just don’t care about watching them, but he watches videos on YouTube all the time. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Yes, failing that this thread isn't just a ploy to eventually supply us with your link so you get hits, I'm also going to ask what reason he gives for not watching. Link to comment
Hollsmaur Posted November 15, 2019 Author Share Posted November 15, 2019 We haven’t been together very long.. coming up to 3 months. He’s not given me a reason to why he doesn’t want to, now hes just said he isn’t gonna watch them alone, but will watch it with me. Link to comment
Hollsmaur Posted November 15, 2019 Author Share Posted November 15, 2019 He’s also deactivated and reactivated his Facebook account twice, and I posted a video on Facebook and he said he “hidden” it from his news feed because he didn’t want to see it, including who comments and likes it, but I don’t get why Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 So he is not interested in getting involved in your interests. It could be that he's not a romantic guy. That's not good. Women like romantic men. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 I think it's a good idea to step back and allow him to express disinterest also. If he's disinterested, don't take it so hard. He already said he would watch it with you. This guy sounds like he's trying to please you. If you think you have low self-esteem and can't handle when someone is disinterested in your videos or your opinion, I think you'll end up running into a mental breakdown eventually. You're trying too hard to get people to like you. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Why not pull back on all this in his face stuff. You know, if something is scare or mysterious people develop more interest. Don't be a pushy salesperson that people avoid. Pull way back. Find better ways to connect. In fact get off the phone to do so.He’s also deactivated and reactivated his Facebook account twice, and I posted a video on Facebook and he said he “hidden” it from his news feed because he didn’t want to see it, including who comments and likes it, but I don’t get why Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 We haven’t been together very long.. coming up to 3 months. He’s not given me a reason to why he doesn’t want to, now hes just said he isn’t gonna watch them alone, but will watch it with me. Then why didn't you ask him why? Did you ask him why he doesn't want to watch? If you did, what did he say. If you didn't then why didn't you? He's going to watch with you so why is this an issue for you even? Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 What are your videos about, OP? Link to comment
goddess Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Perhaps I am missing something here but what is the big deal? You like making your videos, so continue to do that. I do understand that you are a bit disappointed but two people are not obligated to like everything that the other likes. That's what makes you an individual. You do some things together (the more important things) and not some others. I, for instance, like to design cards. I used to show my ex (when we were still married) and he couldn't care less. So what? There were plenty of other people who loved my cards. I was somewhat annoyed at his disinterest but what the heck. We're talking about small stuff here. Don't worry about the little things. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 16, 2019 Share Posted November 16, 2019 Honestly. 1) Perhaps your videos are not as entertaining as you think. Lots of people paint as a hobby. It doesn't mean they paint well. 2) he thinks all you care are about likes and views 3) He wants to get to know you face to face, not troll you on social media. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 16, 2019 Share Posted November 16, 2019 Some people don't like to see anyone they want to get to know at face value hamming it up for a camera. I would not force the issue. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 16, 2019 Share Posted November 16, 2019 I dated a guy who got hard core into skydiving. I have a hard time thinking of anything else that would be a bigger waste of my time. He really wanted me to share this interest with him. He brought me with him once...know what that's like? You see the airplane take off, you eventually see it overhead (a small spot in the sky), then you see tiny dots dropping from the airplane. Something like 10-15 minutes later the spots are big enough to identify as humans. They eventually land on the ground (he fell) and that's it. I couldn't have been more bored. I told him I wouldn't go anymore to watch. He asked if I wanted him to buy me some lessons. I said absolutely not, it would be a waste of money because I would never use them. He really, really wanted me to but I continued to say no. I told him I had no issue with him skydiving to his heart's content but I would do something else. I do not for one minute think I should have continued to go watch specks in the sky. I'm not sure of the subject matter of your videos but if it's how to apply makeup or do nails or something he's not remotely interested in I can understand why he wouldn't be interested in viewing them. What is the subject matter? Maybe he thinks you're trying to get him to help boost your views so you can start selling ad space or something. Link to comment
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