Mrgreenjeans Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 So there’s this girl I’ve been dating from my job. She started about a year ago and I always found her attractive. I’ve been hearing from co workers that she thinks I’m cute and finds me very attractive. I acted on that right away and asked her for her number. First date went well and I then set a second date a week later, on the second date, we went out for dinner and drove in to the middle of no where in my truck, laid on the back bed and stargazed and talked. I then made a move that night and we started making out. 2 weeks after I ask her to come over to my place to have some drinks. I will add she’s the easiest girl I have ever set dates with, never an issue. She came over, we hung out, drank and had amazing sex. Two weeks after that, I tried asking/suggesting we hang out a couple times (hangout as in go out, no Netflix and chill at my house again) , but now she either ignores or changes the subject. But she is still super cool towards me at work and still talks to me via phone. Was she just looking for a one time thing? How should I handle this? Am I over pursuing? Should I walk away? I really like this girl. Anything would help. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 I would say mimick her behavior. If what you want is to go on dates and she doesn't want that, then there is no point in meeting her half way. Maybe this will encourage her to go out with you. Link to comment
Mrgreenjeans Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 This is what I thinking. I think I will do that. I strictly use the phone for setting dates. I don’t want to be her male girlfriend talking on the phone. Thank you for your reply. Link to comment
arjumand Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 But he isn’t trying to date her. He suggests they “hang out,” which usually means Netflix and sex. If you want an actual relationship ask her out for something specific that isn’t your house. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Are you making it clear that it's going out on dates? She may be backpedaling a bit. Two weeks after that, I tried asking/suggesting we hang out a couple times but now she either ignores or changes the subject. But she is still super cool towards me at work and still talks to me via phone. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 It sounds like it moved quickly. She's not certain about dating you and having sex with you again or spending more time together might confuse your friendship. Get to know each other in the work space and let her text/message you (she should initiate some texts if she's interested in seeing you outside of work). If you don't see her initiating any calls or texts or seeming interested in seeing you outside of the office or at work, this is not working out. Link to comment
Andrina Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 You asked her twice in a row to go do something with you and she chose not to. Whether that be a friend or a romantic interest, you then should respect the fact that the ball is now in their court to ask you to do something, and if that doesn't happen, let the friendship or romance fade away. A person's actions as well as non-actions will tell you exactly what you need to know. In this case, it's not going to happen how you envisioned. You're not a priority. She's probably too cowardly to tell you she's not feeling the chemistry she needs to continue on with you, or whatever her reason. Just treat her like any other co-worker now, and no more than that, because that's what she is. Link to comment
TeeDee Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 I'd just back off. You invited her for 2 dates & she said no. Take that as lack of continued interest. Be professional at work but stop pursuing her. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 You asking her over sounds more like an invitation to hook up. Are you opposed to taking her out to dinner or are you just looking for a fwb? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 I'm kinda curious as to why you ask her out every two weeks? I would think that if you were really interested, it would have been for the following week. Was she clear that these dates were not at your house again? Link to comment
kim42 Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 Maybe she thinks you only want to hook up with her. Why did you wait 2 weeks to ask her out again? Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 You had sex with her and didn’t ask her out for two weeks. She probably thinks YOU don’t want anything serious. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 Agree. Especially if you work together and the first couple of dates were make out and sex dates. If you are still interested don't "hang out". Ask her out and make a suggestion like dinner or an event, something where she understands in more than getting in the cute office girls pants.You had sex with her and didn’t ask her out for two weeks. She probably thinks YOU don’t want anything serious. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 Yaaaaa I'm gonna go with your lack of enthusiasm by waiting two weeks to ask her out again after sex...lame. Either that or the sex wasn't that great and she's backin out putting you in the friends zone. Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 You had sex, then waited two weeks to ask her out again? EEEEEK!! She thinks you're a player, and only want one thing from her. If this isn't true, ask her to a proper date. Dinner and a show (not in your pants), like a play or a movie or a concert. Bring flowers. Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 You had sex, then waited two weeks to ask her out again? EEEEEK!! She thinks you're a player, and only want one thing from her. If this isn't true, ask her to a proper date. Dinner and a show (not in your pants), like a play or a movie or a concert. Bring flowers. In fact, send her flowers to the office. Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 Why did you wait so long after sex before asking her out? And when you asked her to hang out two weeks later, does she know you mean take her on a proper date? She may think you want to just fool around again and she probably doesn’t want that kind of relationship. Did you make it known you want to take her out? She was probably waiting those two weeks thinking, when is he going to finally ask me out?! Link to comment
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