Should I date someone I am repulsed by

[Darksoul26]

I met a guy a few months ago and he seriously is amazing in every aspect, only problem is I have zero physical attraction to him. whenever he kisses me, I just want it to end so badly. Whenever I think he's going to touch me I get anxious. I really want to be with him because he is an amazing person, but I can't bring myself to be intimate with him. Should I continue this relationship ? I really don't want to be single and date online anymore, but I also love sex and don't know how I can handle a relationship with none. Advice would be much appreciated

[boltnrun]

Repulsed? No, absolutely not.

 

Imagine 50 years of sex with this man. If the thought makes you feel ill, then please end it so he can find someone who isn't repulsed by him. And you can find someone who turns you on.

[mustlovedogs]

Uhhh.... no.

 

It's one thing to find someone only mildly attractive, and hope it grows. Repulsion? That's a strong word. Stop leading this poor guy on.

[Seraphim]

Nope. Why be cruel to him and yourself ?

[Matt3939]

Not unless it was a mutual no sex relationship. It doesn't sound that way. There has to be some attraction. Look at it from his perspective. Would u want to be with someone who was grossed out by u?

[Hermes]

"Whenever I think he's going to touch me I get anxious. "

 

but

 

I really don't want to be single and date online anymore,

 

So, is this going to be a grin and bear it situation...anything better than being alone?

[Darksoul26]

Exactly. He deserves someone who is crazy about him

[pippy longstocking]

Exactly. He deserves someone who is crazy about him

 

He does ...I have been in similar situations over my life .. everything right but I would rather do next doors dog ...you know what you need to do for both your sakes x

[j.man]

If this is a question you need to ask, you need to stop dating. For a long time. Seriously, that's bad. Learn how to be single.

[Batya33]

No - I would answer differently if you hadn't kissed him yet and only been out with him a few times and were on the fence about attraction but if you are repulsed and have no desire to kiss him then you two are not a match and it's not fair to lead him on.

[melancholy123]

No is the answer to this one. If he is that horrible you need to either have him as a friend only or forget him totally. Repulsed is a seriously negative word. Find a guy you want to kiss and leave this poor guy alone.

[Tinydance]

Um, no obviously? Lol Lucky for us women we don't live in the 19th century and we don't have to force ourselves to be with someone we can't bear to touch just because "we need a husband and he's a good guy". Yeah online dating kinda sucks but do you really think there is nobody else out there that you could at least find attractive?

[ken78]

kinda rude to frame him as the "beast", would that make you the beauty? end it rather than leading him on especially if you have been getting physical with him. no need to waste his time while you figure out your priorities.

[catfeeder]

Should I date someone I am repulsed by

 

No. There is nothing kind about feigning an attraction that isn't there. Free this guy to find someone who will adore him. Most people are NOT our match. That's just math.

[Wiseman2]

Don't lead him on, it's not fair to you or him. How is he amazing?

I met a guy a few months ago and he seriously is amazing in every aspect, only problem is I have zero physical attraction to him.

[foolish1985]

It's not forbidden to have male friends, you know?

Dating only because you do not want to be single is the worst thing. What if your soulmate meets you tomorrow and ignores you because you are dating someone? How would that feel? What do you think he will think of you if you explain that you are dating the unattractive person just because you can't be alone?

[Darksoul26]

Loyal honest respectable and we get along superrrr well. Lot's in common too. but zero physical attraction. I tried once to be friends with him and he said that's fine but the friendship consisted of him making advancements till I agreed to be with him

[foolish1985]

So you did not make it clear enough while explaining your friendship.

You got yourself a doormat. Even if it is hanging on the wall right now, it will become a doormat in time. Is this what you want? You will not respect this person and will make it even worse for both of you.

[Darksoul26]

What makes you say he is a doormat just out of curiousty

[Capricorn3]

My question is this: WHY string the guy along? It's both wrong and unfair. So why? Are you that desperate for attention, even if it's from a "repulsive" guy?

[foolish1985]

What makes you say he is a doormat just out of curiousty

 

Let me explain.

 

He is waaay more invested in this relationship than you are, because he knows that you are way out of his league and is doing everything in his power to win your affection and keep you invested.

At some point, you will stop respecting him, because you will see him as a compromise, as a dead weight, pulling you down. You will continue looking at what better is out there and think how you could have done much better. At that point, he will get even more clingy, because he will sense you slipping away.

You will start pulling even further and he will become your doormat, doing everything you want and need him to, while you also do whatever you wish, but will still keep him around for the support and the initial reason you started dating him - "not being alone".

 

Put in there an affair maybe, since you need your sexual needs satisfied and having a sexless relationship is not as little of a compromise as you may see it right now.