share your SUCCESSFUL romantic relationships and how you met!

[musicman777]

So I been making a habit of coming to this forum day to day and I notice that for the most part, people only complain or have issues of some kind! People are single, depressed, breaking up, or have some other kind of drama going on. And it's quite depressing to read day by day...

 

I want to start a more positive thread here, for my own personal interest and for others in the same shoes. Has anyone here actually been SUCCESSFUL in the game of love?! Someone you are with years or married to now that didn't end in heartbreak or divorce. Where and how did you meet your significant other? Were you intentionally looking for someone or did it just happen? Did you struggle for years to find someone? I want to hear about it.

 

You don't have to write a full novel about your love lives, but I would like to hear how successful people actually found someone and what they did to find someone.

[1Love1]

I fell in love with my brother in law's friend. Met him at the tender young age of 19 at his house for a New Years party. He was just beginning to be ready/start looking for a relationship (crazy ex really did him in a few years before) while I had decided just a few months before meeting him that I didn't want to date. But then I met him and thought "nevermind" lol.

 

He had everything I wanted. Kindness, smarts, goals, and knew exactly what he wanted in life, which I found incredible for just 22 years old. Our personalities just automatically meshed. We were open and honest about our intentions, how we felt, etc. We've never been afraid to be vulnerable with eachother even from the start, which I found has been so important. We dont hide our feelings. if we're upset/worried/angry about something, we voice it. We have managed to live together, work towards/build our careers, get married, have a beautiful child together, and buy our own home.

 

It hasn't always been easy (afterall, we were still practically kids when we met) but we are still hopelessly in love all these years later. No break ups or breaks, we're in it whole-heartedly and made it clear that breaking up was not a solution to hard times, and if one of us decided to, we'd do it only with 100% certainty that our relationship could not be saved. It just takes respect, dedication, devotion, and unconditional love. I always think about how lucky I am to have found someone who I can be happy with and stay happy with as we get older. And to have survived the odds stacked against us from meeting at such a young age It sounds so incredibly cheesy but that's just how it is

[Seraphim]

My husband and I will have been together for 27 years this fall ( married for 21 ) . We met at university. I was 22 and he was 19. No, I definitely wasn't looking for someone it just turned out that way. We have definitely had some really hard times but love has kept us together.

 

We definitely think we belong together forever.

[melancholy123]

I'm glad this topic has been posted as this forum is often a lot of doom and gloom and negativity.

 

I've been married 30 yrs to a great guy. I did marry a guy at 19 which was a big mistake but I was trying to break away from my own family because I had a pretty nasty mother so when this first guy came along, I figured I'd better grab him and hang onto him as nobody else would ever want me. Ah, the foolishness of a kid! It lasted 3 yrs and was never that great. I left him.

 

About a year after that I was arranging a party for a girlfriend and invited D who I considered a friend, sort of shy, quiet, and a very decent person. It went from there, he started coming over and we started going out and it didn't take too long before I saw just what a good person he was, even more so than I first thought. I was a bit reluctant to get involved with him or anyone else after ending up divorced from the other guy.

 

I was living in an apt with two other girls and when my lease was up D and I moved into a house with two guys he was in college with. We've been together ever since then. He was not in any hurry to marry and neither was I, I didn't care if we ever got married. We lived together for years and decided to get married when I got pregnant with our daughter. A few yrs later we had a son.

 

We've weathered a lot of stuff but never did I ever feel like I wanted to leave him, he's just a very good man. He loves me totally and I'd never need to worry about him running around on me. We now own a 100 acre farm in the country and have been here for years. We work together as a team, communicate well and have mutual respect for each other. We rarely disagree. We discuss all major concerns and try to find a solution or a compromise we can live with.

 

With age comes wisdom and it's very rare that a teen or someone in their early 20s finds the right person for them at such a young age. You kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince or princess!

[sara-pezzini]

Im in a very successful longterm relationship with myself, and we're very happy! We met 42 years ago and it wasn't love at first sight but after i got to know me better and know what makes me happy i fell in love and it has been smooth sailing since then.

We never fight, have no problems, we never go to bed angry or complain over futile stuff like who takes out the trash.

And the sex is the best i ever had.

LOL

[Fudgie]

^ Oh you're not with your boyfriend anymore? You guys split? Sorry, just surprised, I remember you posting on here about him positively for quite a while.

 

I am in a relationship with Fudgie. She is the best. We always seem to agree on which restaurant to go to, it's great! But we can't talk to each other in public or else people think we're crazy for some reason!

[sara-pezzini]

^ no i ended things last September. His personality changed due to brain damage and he became addicted and abusive, impossible to stay with him.......

[Fudgie]

^ I'm so sorry sara, hope you are doing well. Judging from your post here, sounds like you are.

[sara-pezzini]

I'm doing great being single....just health wise some problems but that's in my own thread, don't want to hijack this one.

 

Also being in a loving and healthy relationship with myself has the benefits of having the remote for myself and no snoring keeping me up all night lol

[happy_snapper]

Well I haven't been in a relationship for very long, but if you want to hear something positive, I can gush for a bit if you like.

Definitely too early to call it successful, but we're still very happy past the 6 month point...

Yes? No?

[ParisPaulette]

With my current husband, yes. Four years ago (I think, maybe five, I lose track) I decided to take an art class in a particular painting technique I'd been interested in. Met him there, liked what I saw, but was really guarded. Until the day I saw him helping the art teacher load things into her van after she'd hurt herself and was struggling. That got my attention, because it sort of showed he cared enough about others to pitch a hand in when needed. I went over to help too and we started talking. I asked him out to coffee a few weeks after that. We've been together ever since. We got married recently and it's good.

 

And I'm turning 60 soon, so never let anyone tell you that love doesn't happen past a certain age. It's a load of crap. And this is simply the best relationship we've both ever had, quite possibly because we learned from our earlier mistakes.

 

Also I'm going to say in looking back every single relationship, no matter how bad it might have turned out to be, brought something positive to my life. I'm not sure I'd even have noticed my husband now if I'd never had the experiences that shaped me and taught me what exactly I need from a relationship for it to be a good one. So to all the practice guys and gals out there who came before we got together, thank you. And I mean that.

[WithLove]

Also I'm going to say in looking back every single relationship, no matter how bad it might have turned out to be, brought something positive to my life. I'm not sure I'd even have noticed my husband now if I'd never had the experiences that shaped me and taught me what exactly I need from a relationship for it to be a good one. So to all the practice guys and gals out there who came before we got together, thank you. And I mean that.

 

Guys AND gals? Huh? Woohoo!

 

 

I've had 4 relationships, and even though they didn't work out, I'd still call them successful. I learned so much about myself and what I look for in a partner. I learned the value of my own self-worth and how to appreciate the stuff I bring to the table.

[El0t]

...and even though they didn't work out, I'd still call them successful. I learned so much about myself and what I look for in a partner. I learned the value of my own self-worth and how to appreciate the stuff I bring to the table.

 

Amen! Relationship success isn't solely based on "we're together" or "we broke up". Plenty of people are currently IN relationships that are complete failures, while others have ended ones that were in many ways a success.

[lerenard]

I was in a relationship with my ex for two years. Felt quite happy. Then he left for his basic training in the army and everything changed. He became very bitter, we were fighting all the time over the phone and on social media which was very exhausting. Just two days before our 2 years anniversary he dumped me in another fight. I had tickets to go to him, booked a spa for us to relax and get ourselves together.... It was very painful and I cried a lot. We had so many plans together, it felt like our goals match very very good, but he said so many hurtful thing to me, and made it look and sound like I was the only one interested in all that.

 

So I moved on, went NC, started to hang out with my friends more, enjoyed my single life basically. Realized we weren't all that compatible, and when he started dating me he just wanted somebody, and I was the on in love. He then got used to me, felt comfortable in the relationship and wasn't really head over heels for me, ever. I also realized that a girl like me would never make him happy, I am too "mature" for my age, and he is too "immature" for his. It felt like I am the mom and he is the kid all the time. I too like to have fun, but I am an adult when I need to be, and I am used to being independent, paying my own bills and just being alone in general.

 

Around Christmas time a couple of my old friends came from abroad, where they are studying now. One of them I liked for years but nothing ever happened, because I never though it was mutual. And it felt more like a friendly like, not as I was wishing we had slept and so on. At some point, like three years ago, we had a chance to try but then he had a GF, then he left and when he came back I had a BF, so it was never our time and we never spoke out loud to each other that we were interested. But we clicked insanely well, and all our friends were always joking that we look like brother and sister together, like we lived our whole life with each other and we can talk non-stop, we share like a thousand interests together, physically we are crazily compatible, and just all together a wonderful match.

 

He had no idea I was now singe for some time, so we were hanging out like usual. He was taking me home every evening if we went out with friends, and we would talk for another hour in front of my house, because we just can`t stop)

 

I remember very clearly that after one of these talks I went home and I though "oh my god, am I falling in love with him????". I was too scared to admit it because I just ended a relationship not too long ago, and I had absolutely NO intentions in starting a new one. Like, at all) I knew he was serious, and if we would ever date it would be for real. He had girls after him since he was 12 probably, because he has an amazing personality and sense of humor, but he had only two real relationships, because if he is with someone - he gives it his all. He had his heart broken in his last LTR so he basically closed up and was searching for that one girl with a whole list of qualities to have, and told me he had a feeling he will rather stay alone, because he can`t seem to find a girl like that. At some point we confessed to each other that we share a mutual attraction and we were laughing like fools that we never admitted it before. He also admitted that he was crushed when he found out I started dating my ex, and he felt like he lost his chance) So when he found out I was single again he decided that this is it.

 

We took it slow, were simply hanging out like usual, having dates, not even kissing for the first couple of weeks! We hadn't had sex till we were almost 3 months into a relationship, which felt amazing and very different from every relationship I ever had. He left after his holiday, back to studying, so we would Skype every day, and I honestly never ever missed anyone like that, since I was a child and my dad used to go to business trips, I felt physical pain from not having my beloved near me, it was intense.

 

Then, before my birthday he got me tickets to come to him. I was over the moon. We had an amazing week, went on a road trip to the mountains, made a billion pictures. Long story short - we are very happy together. He is now here again for the summer, then he has one last year to study. In any other relationship I would feel anxious to have long distance between us, but with him everything is a bliss. We are already planning our trips to each other, how we will manage the distance and how amazing it will be when he comes back for good. It feels so natural to be with him and I definitely never ever felt such love and appreciation from someone. The way he looks at me just answers all my questions why it never worked out with any of my ex`s. I am 25 now, and I had 10 years of dating, two long-term relationships, lovers, casual sex, a year of celibacy, platonic relationships - everything. And I never though I could be in love like that, like I am 16 again and I lose my sleep because someone somewhere misses me and is waiting for me. I am now filled with love as much as I never was in my life. I am smiling everyday like crazy, feel a lot more positive and confident, and all because of his love and adoration.

[Capricorn3]

* Where and how did you meet your significant other? - We met at work, both started at the same company within 2 weeks of each other. He pursued me for about 20 months before I agreed to go on a date with him. Been together ever since - that's a very very very long time, lol.

 

* Were you intentionally looking for someone or did it just happen? - No. It just happened.

 

* Did you struggle for years to find someone? - NO.

 

OP, how about YOU share your story?

[musicman777]

* Where and how did you meet your significant other? - We met at work, both started at the same company within 2 weeks of each other. He pursued me for about 20 months before I agreed to go on a date with him. Been together ever since - that's a very very very long time, lol.

 

* Were you intentionally looking for someone or did it just happen? - No. It just happened.

 

* Did you struggle for years to find someone? - NO.

 

OP, how about YOU share your story?

 

LOL, share more story, well I was trying to avoid depressing garbage on this thread, but I have no story. My romantic life is a completely disaster, I have no story. I am 25 now. I fell in love with someone when I was 21 and she left me because she was a closet lesbian and I struggled for YEARS to get over it.

 

Now this year I finally found a girl interesting back in march or so that has said they want to go on a date with me except this person is stalling for several months to go on a date with me, but for reasons I can't control I can't top thinking about them and think eventually they will come around. I don't know, it's sickening. And I've tried everything including dating sites, which I despise and refuse to go back to. I'm nearly done with college and my job is remote work from home. I almost never meet any women. It's getting pretty depressing. I don't even feel like going on in life anymore to be honest. I would like a wife and family someday and I feel that's never going to happen. I'm not in a rush for it but I am also convinced it's never going to happen regardless.

 

That is what I started this thread for, I wanted to see how else other people met. I find it interested your husband chased you for 20 months. That is a similar story to what I am going through but I am already fed up after 2 months. I don't think you should have to wait to go on a date with someone if they feel the same way.

[happy_snapper]

Well I'm going to post mine anyway. I consider our relationship successful. Even if we break up in the next few months and it doesn't even last one year, we've brought so much into each other's lives that I'd never regret meeting her.

Right now everything's absolutely amazing.

 

She's my first girlfriend. I spent the first 27 years of my life without any romantic contact with anybody. Then, when I finally moved out of my parents house, I found that I wasn't as repulsive to women as I thought. I spent about a year dating, meeting women of varying personalities... not really finding what I was looking for (whatever that was)...

 

The first time we met was the 30th of October. We were both at a Halloween meetup event, a big zombie-themed capture the flag type game.

She was quite striking visually: nearly 6 foot tall with green/blue hair. We spoke for a bit, she seemed very pleasant and she said afterwards that she thought I seemed nice. But I wasn't feeling too great and had to leave early.

Then at the beginning of December she randomly turned up at a gaming group that I frequent. We recognised each other and got talking. After that she invited me and some other people to go see a Foo Fighters tribute band with her. She admitted later that she only invited the other people, because she didn't feel confident asking me out on my own.

 

She was flustered and nervous and so decided to have a couple of drinks beforehand. The result of this was that she turned up late and slightly drunk... and proceeded to get more drunk as the night went on. This put me off quite a bit... my initial thought being, "If this is how she spends her Friday nights, then we're probably not going to get along"

Anyway, we connected and I could see that there was something about her that I really liked.

I asked her out to dinner a few days later, to see what she was like sober, and we got on amazingly. We talked for hours, we couldn't stop. Our minds just fit together like two cogs.

We began dating and we still are... 7 months on Friday.

 

Our relationship is still young, but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's my first everything, I was a complete virgin before I met her.

Part of me thinks that it can't be possible to live happily ever after, with the very first person you have a relationship with... but it's working so far. Our minds and hearts are still like a set of cogs that just fit together.

[Seraphim]

My husband is my first relationship and we are still together. It does happen but not often.

[ParisPaulette]

Guys AND gals? Huh? Woohoo!

 

Um, I probably should've worded that better. I meant thank you to all the gals that my husband was with before me. (LOL) love your little emoticon BTW, that made me laugh.

 

And musicman777 I'm going to be blunt. I'd still be single if I'd ever relied on dating sites, online or otherwise. I never met anyone serious through them. I met everyone I had a relationship with through external activities that got me out of the house. Also a couple through work, but if you read my other threads you'll see I do not recommend that.

 

Also if I had it to do over again I'd have waited until my 30s to focus on relationship. I didn't even fall in love or know what it was until my 30s. I was a very late bloomer who was massively unhappy, because I did not fit in with societal norms on love and marriage. I did get the baby carriage, and that was great, but that was it. So maybe don't give up just yet. It's frustrating I know, but I wish you well in your journey on life in general. And just that yeah, get thee out of the house if you can. It's just easier to meet people that way.

 

If I had it to do all over again I wouldn't even have touched marriage until I hit 50. I make a terrible wife generally except for my husband who is an artist and himself a fellow odd soul. We match, but I tend to drive most men bonkers and viceversa if we have to try and have a relationship together. Something about those cowboy boots covered in mud drying out on the dining room table and my informing everyone they need to fix dinner for themselves again since I'm going over to the neighbors to help them with their sick horse. Not a lot of men are going to tolerate that. Fortunately my husband does and loves it.

 

So yes, hold out for the good stuff and go find an activity or three you love doing. It will open your world to so many things and a lovely lady just might be one of them. I will however not bombard you with the usual finding love cliches. It's just that some of us have to work harder to find it and I have no idea why that is.

[happy_snapper]

Um, I probably should've worded that better. I meant thank you to all the gals that my husband was with before me. (LOL) love your little emoticon BTW, that made me laugh.

 

You can't fool us PP. I bet you had a crazy bi-curious phase.

[ParisPaulette]

You can't fool us PP. I bet you had a crazy bi-curious phase.

 

A lady never tells. Of course, my friends and family would all fall down screaming with laughter if they saw that reference to me being a lady... (Husband walks by, reads over my shoulder and bursts out laughing. See, see, I told you.)

 

Ah, he loves me anyways.

[BigKK]

PP it's cool to see that sometimes the little things go noticed by some people. I think that's when we get glimpses into people...what they do what no one is really watching or paying attention.

[musicman777]

PP, WELL said, especially about the "love cliches". Okay, not to beat everyones ear (or should I say eyes?) around here. I am 25. To many, that sounds young. But, I am A LOT more mature that others my age. I would say I don't feel 25, in some ways I still feel like a teenager. But for emotional maturity I feel 35! My early teens and even before, I was into sports (martial arts) for many years and made many accomplishments there. Then high school hit, I kind of bypassed what everyone else was doing. I didn't have a social life. I was trying to learn things and somehow I got into programming/IT when I was only 15. This paid off in the end, because now I am extraordinarily experienced and have a great career making pretty good money. I only have a couple semesters of college left and I will have my BS as well.But now for a romantic/social life, that is a different story. I have friends, but no romantic interest or really even any female friends, at least none I physically talk to.

 

I am at the point now where I want to date people and find that special someone, and i don't think the universe is just going to mystically make it happen. I DO want someone, I feel like I am a little more "grown up" for it. And I think you Paris worded that correctly. I don't believe in those love cliches, eg. find someone when you aren't looking, when you find someone you'll know it, and all that nonsense. I have fallen for that so many times now. The harsh reality of how the world works. If I want someone, I need to get out there as you suggested and started actively looking. I will say, I am already looking everywhere, anytime I go somewhere, even if it's just to pick up milk in the grocery store or something.

 

Anyway thanks for everyone so far that posted here. I find that, to become "good" at something like dating, just like anything else, you should study it and learn how others have successfully done it! My main problem isn't the dating itself but finding someone, that is why I asked others how they found a partner. I think it's not just for me but anyone reading this forum. I know for a fact there are a lot of single dwellers on here that don't know what to do to find someone.

[happy_snapper]

Well I tried a few ways to find a partner, but the one that worked was as follows:

I stopped trying. I went out as much as I could afford, meeting as many people as I could. I did things that I enjoy and found people who I fit with.

Eventually, the right person came alone and found me. When she found me, she saw the real me and liked it.

[MadxMythMadame]

I met my boyfriend 2 years ago online. One year prior, I broke up with my 5-year-LDR ex and decide to date 7 months after. 4 months of going on dates and hated ever minute of it and after no-so great setup, the man I know today as my boyfriend simply messaged me, "Hi, how are you?" I told myself if this next one is horrible, I just wouldn't date anymore.

 

Sure enough, we first met in a nice coffee shop (because I overstated how much I love fancy coffee) and been in separable ever since.

 

I love my boyfriend. He's exactly what I need all the time. Makes me laugh when I'm in a disastrous mood. Attempts to massage my feet after a long day (can't really do it to save his life, but god bless him for trying). Researches any medication that I've been advised to use 10x over. Always looking to buy me flowers, especially on a random day (Never buys me flowers for a reason

 

This is exactly what I wanted to do! I can't believe I actually found a thread that lets me brag about my boyfriend! Thank you all!