boltnrun Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 So I've been trying to figure out what it is that makes some young men attracted to older women. I'm in my late 40s. I'm most certainly no beauty queen although I am in pretty good shape for a woman my age, thanks mostly to good genes (mom and dad were both thin) and also to my job which requires me to walk upwards of 6-8 miles a day, every day. as well as frequently lift heavy objects. I'm a size 4 and am pretty well proportioned, although I am not as "fit" as I'd like to be. I probably look a couple years younger than my age, but there's no way anyone could think I'm all that much younger than I really am. I'm totally single (other than a couple exes I see occasionally just for something to do, no feelings there) and haven't been in a real relationship for several years. I've gone through a spell of not being asked out on a date for so long I can't even remember the last time. But I'm busy working, seeing friends when I have time and spending time with family. I'd really like to meet someone and I'd love to be dating, but my problem is this; the only men who give me any attention such as flirting and even wanting my phone number are guys young enough to be my children! In fact, many of the guys who openly flirt with me are younger than my kids (kids are 24 and 22)! Seriously, the only guys who act interested in me are all around 20-25 years old. There's no way I'd ever consider dating or even having a casual thing with a guy who's younger than my kids. I consider my cutoff age to be 38, and even that would be a stretch. I WANT a man my age or older, but none of them seem interested. All I get is attention from young kids. The last two relationships I was in involved a man 7 years younger than me and a man 8 years younger. I've dated and been in relationships with men my age or a bit older, but my recent relationship history is with younger men. And honestly, I wasn't entirely comfortable with being so much older than my BF, although the guys didn't seem to mind at all. So, my question is this...if you're a younger man (say, early to mid 20s) attracted to older women, what is it that would attract you to a woman in her mid to late 40s? Is it an experience thing? "Mommy issues"? Maybe older women seem like they wouldn't be interested in drama? Do older women seem to have their lives together better than younger women? I'd honestly like to know because this has happened to me so many times that I can't help but wonder why. Thanks for any insight. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have heard that some young men have bucket lists. You would tick off the "older woman/MILF" box. Link to comment
bunker Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I think younger guys think it's an easier catch. It's obvious that the one on one dating is not going to last long. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 I think younger guys think it's an easier catch. It's obvious that the one on one dating is not going to last long. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Ah, that's not something I've thought of before. So younger men think it might be easier to get an older (possibly desperate and/or sex starved) woman in bed? Interesting. Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Older can be perceived as easier. Less drama then someone their own age. They are not thinking of you as their Mommy. Didi you sleep with them? If so, you have some of the answer there. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 Older can be perceived as easier. Less drama then someone their own age. They are not thinking of you as their Mommy. Didi you sleep with them? If so, you have some of the answer there. LOL, no, I don't sleep with any of these younger men who are flirting with me. I've only slept with the two younger men I mentioned I've been in relationships with (and these were relationships that lasted several years, not one-nighters). Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have had to change the restrictions on my online dating profile to stop young guys contacting me. I have told them I have children & shoes older than them I am also a Nanna, but none of this seems to phase them. What I am finding now is that they are creating profiles saying they are 40 & above, but with their actual photo, so that they cant be blocked from contacting older ladies. I just block the emails when they send them to me now. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have had to change the restrictions on my online dating profile to stop young guys contacting me. I have told them I have children & shoes older than them I am also a Nanna, but none of this seems to phase them. What I am finding now is that they are creating profiles saying they are 40 & above, but with their actual photo, so that they cant be blocked from contacting older ladies. I just block the emails when they send them to me now. Good God even more stuff to deal with. What a jungle! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 Ok, but I don't get why! There's a 20 year old in my department at work who is always flirting with me. If he has to hand something to me (such as a pen), he'll allow his hand to linger in mine, to the point where it could almost be considered holding my hand. If he stands next to me, he'll lean his arm on mine or run his hand along my lower back as he passes by. He'll stand behind me, lean forward and whisper in my ear. He'll stand in front of me and lean close and speak so quietly that no one but me can hear him. Yeah, he's a good looking kid, and maybe if I were 30 years younger...but there's just no way anything is going to happen because the kid can't even order a beer in a restaurant! Plus, I'd feel icky, and I could only imagine introducing him to my kids! It's just too ridiculous. Yeah, it can be really flattering to have these young guys flirting with me. But for the life of me, I can't imagine why they'd want to. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have heard that some young men have bucket lists. You would tick off the "older woman/MILF" box. thisis the one ... I don't think it is because they see us as easy prey ..its the whole milf experience ..and I too , like you girls have had all this ...from the words of many young 'uns on pof when I was on ..we have seen and done it .. they want to sample that experience because "obviously" we are going to be good in bed because of our ages "sigh" ...it is nothing ..abosutely nothing but sex they are after ....then they can go tell their mates they did an old lady hahahahahahah . Link to comment
BMP2CPM Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Original poster, you answered the question "I'm totally single". That's why. Young men are just starting out in life and have trouble dating women their own age because women their own age are going for older men with more resources. Young men have few resources. You're older and have some resources, so it's a good fit for both of you. Link to comment
Tinydance Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I think it's the whole "Mrs. Robinson", "Stifler's Mum" thing (the movie American Pie). I almost think dating an older woman is like a fantasy. I'm 30 and on internet dating sites I get messages from teenage guys and 20-year-old guys also. Some of the nature of them is "I want to lose my virginity to you and want you to teach me the ropes in bed". They are either scared of judgement from women their own age and/or think an older woman is more experienced, therefore more appealing. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 thisis the one ... I don't think it is because they see us as easy prey ..its the whole milf experience ..and I too , like you girls have had all this ...from the words of many young 'uns on pof when I was on ..we have seen and done it .. they want to sample that experience because "obviously" we are going to be good in bed because of our ages "sigh" ...it is nothing ..abosutely nothing but sex they are after ....then they can go tell their mates they did an old lady hahahahahahah . I think the younger guys are watching too much online porn. I don't recall young guys a generation ago wanting to do this. I think today's media has a lot to do with it. Link to comment
chickadeedee Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I divorced when I was 41, and was shocked at the young men who came out of the woodwork sniffing around me! I was puzzled by it too, until i realized that the particular young men who were expressing had a certain profile. They were 'party boys' who were after fun, fun, fun in their lives, and they may have seen my age as an advantage because (a) they felt i wouldn't pressure them to get serious with me, (b) they saw me as lower drama because i was mature and easy going, and © there is a mystique to the idea that older woman are more into sex or more experienced, and (d) you have more finanical resources so will not be after them to support you or spend all their money on you, and (e) you won't be pressuring them to hurry up and marry you and start popping out kids. So for certain guys, they see those things as big advantages. But for me, i found it comical and had no interest in boys young enough to be my sons! And when they started up the flirting, i'd just laugh it off and say, 'seriously, i'm old enough to be your mother and am not interested so knock it off.' btw, i have no trouble with younger men who are within the same life phase. My ex husband was 5 years younger than me, and the man i found in my 40s was 7 years younger (but in his mid-30s when i met him so a peer and not a boy). I think that any age gap less than 10 years really isn't a problem or even all that noticeable, but when you have men in their 20s chasing you while you're in your 40s, that is a red flag in my mind because most of them are just after the thrill and perks when a long term relationship really isn't in the picture. If you just want to have fun, then enjoy, but i wouldn't expect anything more than a fling out of it. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I don't think it is such a big deal. Men date much younger women all the time and no one seems to care. In the last 30 or so years, women have newfound freedom to make choices in many areas previously prohibited because of gender. This is just another choice that is no longer taboo. Women are also delaying marriage, or find themselves single at an age when they are still considered sexy. All the power to you poster. There are many 40 year old men with 20 something girlfriends, so why can't it be the other way around? 10 years from now, this wont even be a topic of interest to anyone. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have heard that some young men have bucket lists. You would tick off the "older woman/MILF" box. There's your answer. An older woman is just behind twins on the list. There is also the mistaken belief that getting in an older woman's pants should be easy, because they have the advantage of youth over us old farts. Trust me, don't be flattered if you're getting attention from boys. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I don't think it is such a big deal. Men date much younger women all the time and no one seems to care. You must be new here Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 i dated an older woman..it was fun for a while then she became crazy lol Link to comment
Clinton Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 They're smoking hot and younger guys think they are more available and into casual encounters as opposed to a serious relationship Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 Interesting. Most people seem to think the guys just want to be able to say they bagged an older woman (why that would be considered something admirable, I don't know). I agree that's probably got a lot to do with it. The 20 year old in my department at work, yeah, I can say for sure that's what he's trying to do. But I'm older and have been to school and I can see right through his tactics. One time he told me he didn't have a ride home and would have to go home with me and spend the night. I told him "get a ride from xxxx, he lives right near you". I wasn't going to take that bait! I could just imagine the conversation he'd have with his little friends...plus, I didn't want to. There are a couple of them who look at me all googly eyed (rather than being outright flirty), but they seem to be more awkward toward women in general. Maybe they think I'd be nicer to them because I'm old. LOL Anyway, I'm not looking for approval or to be given the OK to date these young kids, because I'm not interested in doing so. Not even for casual sex. I really want to date men close to my own age! Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I'm obviously on the superficial side of the spectrum, but, whenever I see the question "Why are men attracted to (fill in the blank) women?", the answer is usually "Because they're hot." When I was, um, active, I was involved with women ranging from ages 19-45. As long as they were hot, I was happy. Older women did have certain advantages, though: they were usually divorced, so they weren't eager to jump back into relationships, and they'd just finished hitting the gym and getting ready to put themselves back out there, so they were usually in extremely good shape. They had to deal with work, their kids...they just wanted something casual, as did I. Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 During a vacation on a tropical island I encountered a woman, 37 when I was barely 19. She did hit me on first by eye contact then talked to me. She was for sure more interested in me than I was to her. When I revealed my age she didnt expect it and thought I was 25 or so. The irony is That now people think Im younger. Anyway we happened to have sex and as I said I had no stifflers momy thing in mind. Since she was apparently tap it and quit it That story stopped at That. Despite popular beliefs women sometimes are the hunters, and us the hunted Link to comment
h0000 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I have a friend who was in a relationship with a 40 something when he was 19 . His exact words: I like older women they are mature and more experienced in bed and they are ok with being casual/dating with no commitment. I will never marry them. I still want a normal family and someone who can give birth to my children. Link to comment
John John Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 In my experience women who are older are more down for casual sex. They are either divorced or over the idea of getting married (or just at peace with it, from the surface). There's also the novelty factor of them sleeping with a younger guy and us sleeping with an older women, so that kinda makes the whole experience more fun (and everyone takes it for what it is without any drama). I would probably never be in a relationship with a women significantly older than me, though. I am 30 (soon to be 31...yuck), and I think the highest I'd consider is 34/35 only because I'd like to be able to date for a while before rushing into marriage/kids (though I'm not sure I want kids, I'd like the possibility to be there). Link to comment
GoneCrazy Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 - Wealth - Career - Maturity - Kids Link to comment
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