Lonely With Her: Ramblings of a madman.

[notalady]

Appreciate the fast response. I actually looked some up, then paused and decided to post here. Guess that would fall under the category of trying too hard.

 

Id be curious to hear what more people think too, it was from the first date so i thought it would be a small "was thinking of you" sort of gift.

 

When someone give me gifts in the very early stages of dating (before exclusivity), even if small, I tend to think about if they are trying to buy my love, why can't they just get to know me and let me get to know them without trying to "win" me over, whether they think they need the help of gifts otherwise they are not good enough for me? Anyway maybe it's just me. I rather not add any complications.

[IAmFCA]

People at work stories, that's friend stuff. Which is good, the friendship makes a strong foundation. Stay at it. She will come to you.

 

After this 3rd date, let her initiate the 4th. Call her or text as usual. Do nothing about a 4th date. If she doesn't initiate, slow down the communication. She will step up

[Coldarmy13]

NaL, i can definitely see how it could be seen that way. I think ill hold off.

 

People at work stories, that's friend stuff. Which is good, the friendship makes a strong foundation. Stay at it. She will come to you.

 

After this 3rd date, let her initiate the 4th. Call her or text as usual. Do nothing about a 4th date. If she doesn't initiate, slow down the communication. She will step up

 

That sounds like good advice. Only issue with that is that ive usually just contacted her to set up the next date, with some small extra conversation.

[IAmFCA]

NaL, i can definitely see how it could be seen that way. I think ill hold off.

 

 

 

That sounds like good advice. Only issue with that is that ive usually just contacted her to set up the next date, with some small extra conversation.

 

It's an afternoon date. It can potentially continue into pre-dinner cocktail. You want to make sure she knows your intentions. She will not show her hand, not completely. But if she knows you're serious, and then she doesn't hear from you, she will eventually wonder if she has lost you. Then it may occur to her, "My turn!"

 

I suppose you could also tell her straight up, I want to keep seeing you. Also, I want to give you a chance to drive the bus, instead of doing what I feel like doing all the time. So I'll let you follow up to ask me out. ... delivered with a flirty tone to it.

[reinventmyself]

Appreciate the fast response. I actually looked some up, then paused and decided to post here. Guess that would fall under the category of trying too hard.

 

Id be curious to hear what more people think too, it was from the first date so i thought it would be a small "was thinking of you" sort of gift.

 

Too soon.

Let the fact that you are still contacting her and asking her out be a sign that you are thinking of her.

I agree with NAL. A gift at this point in time feels like you might be overcompensating for something.

Just trust that your fabulous company is more than enough for now

[Coldarmy13]

This whole time I haven't messaged unless it was to arrange/confirm dates or unless I think of something worth sending. Fired one to her today.

 

Me: had a friend of mine bring up red pandas today and thought of you Look forward to Sunday

 

For never hearing for her she replied within a few minutes..

 

Her: hahah Awwee! Yes, can't wait!!

[Coldarmy13]

Afternoon date went alright. I know I really enjoy being around her, we make each other laugh. Today I felt a bit nervous for whatever reason. It went per usual. Some laughs, hand holding during a movie and kissing at the end. I asked her if she had time for a drink and she said no, that she had to go pick up her phone from her friends house she forgot it at about 40 minutes away, so I dropped her off. I know the reason is legitimate, so no worries there. I hope shes just guarded or prefers to take it slow.

 

First time in quite awhile I felt nervous around a girl. I feel pause now though.. Instinct wants to see if she comes to me. But really, I'm stumped. On the drive home I could almost feel myself putting up a wall. I know I like her, and I feel she is at least interested to an extent. Outside of that..

 

No fourth date set yet. I either keep doing the same, contact her tomorrow with when im free and go from there.. or let her reach out this time.

[Coldarmy13]

After we kissed, she mustve liked me touching her face and arm because she said "hand game is on point" which gave me a good laugh.

 

But honestly im stumped and its not really obvious how she feels. I mean, sure we've gone out 3 times, kissed all that. She didnt mention anything about another date today and im starting to wonder if i need to keep pursuing or what?

[boltnrun]

Why did she have to mention another date right away?

 

Did YOU mention another date?

[Coldarmy13]

No of course she didn't have to and no I didn't. Odds are I'll message her tomorrow and try to set another one up. I'd really like to see her again. Just would be nice if it felt more.. Mutual I guess?

[boltnrun]

It's almost spooky how your posts about this woman are so similar to your posts about the OW (Original Woman) who you reference in the title of this journal.

 

I know I mentioned it before, but I went back and reread some of the posts about OW, and wow. Almost identical.

 

Do you always struggle with how to conduct yourself in dating situations? It seems almost agonizing to you, trying to decide what to do next and wondering what she's (OW and this current woman) thinking and feeling.

[Coldarmy13]

It's almost spooky how your posts about this woman are so similar to your posts about the OW (Original Woman) who you reference in the title of this journal.

 

I know I mentioned it before, but I went back and reread some of the posts about OW, and wow. Almost identical.

 

Do you always struggle with how to conduct yourself in dating situations? It seems almost agonizing to you, trying to decide what to do next and wondering what she's (OW and this current woman) thinking and feeling.

 

I guess that isnt good that its at all similar to the OW, not to mention almost identical. I dont feel like i always struggle. My last ex, i feel like i handled it all properly as possible. I suppose its much easier when its more obvious interest.

 

I guess i reach out when im confused and curious to hear insight. Obviously, no one here knows her or how she feels, but have had similar experiences and could provide advice. With the OW, i was doing much more texting and contacting than this one. Ive kept it pretty minimal to this point. Id like to increase the contact, but dont want to send the "how are you" type messages.

[boltnrun]

But then, you never seemed as "in to" the most recent ex.

 

I suspect your interest level in the current woman is more in line with OW.

[Coldarmy13]

But then, you never seemed as "in to" the most recent ex.

 

I suspect your interest level in the current woman is more in line with OW.

 

I wonder, does my mindset change when im more into someone, or is it me liking them more when its harder to obtain? Who knows.

 

I guess i should just keep doing what i was doing and see if she opens up more/contacts more in time. It helps that id be more weary from what ive learned from the OW experience.

[GhostB88]

Hi Coldarmy, surprise! I'm back!

 

I've been sluggish ever since my Christmas / new year vacation so I haven't checked back to ENA in a while.

 

I'm finally all caught up with your journal once again, and wow did a lot of things happen to you! One minute you are going steady with your previous girlfriend, gossiping about each other's family members and all that and next minute, boom! Incompatibility hits. I'm so sorry it didn't work out, and I'm more sorry that I wasn't there those days to share my opinion and your pain.

 

Well, one way or another, it seems that you are right on track now, and you are quick to get back onto the horse, so I'm happy for you!

 

I don't have insightful comments at the moment, I just wanted to pop in, see how you are doing, and say hi.

 

Cheers,

=)

[Coldarmy13]

I actually have a thread going in the dating section about this new girl. Not sure this one is going to go anywhere.

 

Really great to see you're back.

[GhostB88]

I actually have a thread going in the dating section about this new girl. Not sure this one is going to go anywhere.

 

Really great to see you're back.

 

Cool, I'll go check it out. What's the title?

[Coldarmy13]

"Stumped after 3rd date" I believe

[Coldarmy13]

As I said in my other thread, I think this might be a dead end. Definitely disappointed.

[GhostB88]

Oh no. In sorry to hear that. If it's not working out, just move on and keep going.

[Coldarmy13]

It was only 3 dates and I tried. Can't make someone like you. She seemed keen in person, but my gut is telling me it wasn't so.

[Coldarmy13]

Predictably, she sent me a message today along the lines of:

Hey I met someone I could really see myself with and I don't play games. Don't want to see guys while I'm with him.

 

I got out respectfully by telling her it was disappointing but good luck. Basically she was seeing someone else at the same time and she chose, the way I see it.

[reinventmyself]

It's in those moments I choose to not take it personally. She may have met him prior to and it just had more momentum. It isn't a reflection of you.

 

It's certainly better then her still being available but not interested.

Shake it off!

Head high

[Ms Darcy]

Predictably, she sent me a message today along the lines of:

Hey I met someone I could really see myself with and I don't play games. Don't want to see guys while I'm with him.

 

I got out respectfully by telling her it was disappointing but good luck. Basically she was seeing someone else at the same time and she chose, the way I see it.

 

I think I mentioned in your other thread she was probably seeing someone else. Not a big deal. That's what happens in the early stages of dating.

 

Onwards and upwards.

[GhostB88]

I think she is a good person for telling you the truth rather than keeping you on leash.

 

Think of this as a win as she spared you of countless hours of dates going nowhere and also the money you have to spend on the dates and gifts.

 

Speaking of which, aren't you glad you didn't get her that red panda plush toy?