Lonely With Her: Ramblings of a madman.

[Coldarmy13]

Makes total sense. Had she be the one you might feel differently.

Sounds like you are on track.

 

You're probably right. I'm just starting to remember the negatives as much as the positives now.

[janut1]

You're probably right. I'm just starting to remember the negatives as much as the positives now.

 

This is what I go through too. Sometimes when I think wow I really miss him. I quickly have to remind myself of all the negatives. That makes me move quickly out of the I miss him thoughts. Can't even fathom how I stayed for 1 year. Yuck.

[Coldarmy13]

Yesterday and today have been pretty tough for some reason. No real reminders or anything, and we haven't spoken since. Just a lot of memories have been popping up for whatever reason. I guess I miss the companionship and ive been thinking of all the good.

[reinventmyself]

Yesterday and today have been pretty tough for some reason. No real reminders or anything, and we haven't spoken since. Just a lot of memories have been popping up for whatever reason. I guess I miss the companionship and ive been thinking of all the good.

 

typical. .

just trust it will pass and it's part of the process

[boltnrun]

You're smart enough not to go running back to a relationship that could never work just because you're feeling lonely.

[janut1]

Yea this is perfectly normal. I went through that for a day or so last week because I miss the companionship too. Hang in there it will pass. It passed quickly for me.

[Coldarmy13]

You're right I'm smart enough to know it's all over. Her little bit of trust she had is long gone. Can't help but miss her though. I'll live.

[Coldarmy13]

She loved me and wouldn't never done anything to hurt me. So trustworthy in any situation. Just wanted to make me happy. Threw it away. Not sure it hurts so much lately.

[boltnrun]

You two had little in common and she wanted to go through your phone. Your words.

 

Not really "throwing" anything away that would have lasted.

 

Don't let sentimentality erase away facts.

[Coldarmy13]

You two had little in common and she wanted to go through your phone. Your words.

 

Not really "throwing" anything away that would have lasted.

 

Don't let sentimentality erase away facts.

 

Thank you, and of course you're right. That was very dramatic of me and I do see thing a bit more clearly this morning.

[Coldarmy13]

Re-activated my OLD accounts for kicks. Didnt see anything really all that interesting, except this one girl so i decided why not? After 4-5 days of exchanging a few messages here and there, i asked to take her out sometime. She said that sounded nice and its easier to text if id like to. We exchanged phone numbers.

 

Exchanges were good, except after a little while i felt like id always be the one texting first. Its a bit tricky since i know she works a lot of midnight shifts, and this month im working overnights too. My days off are Fri/Sat, hers Wed/Thurs. So by last Tues, i invited her out Thurs before i go to work. She said "Oh, jeeze. I have interviews the next two days (fri/sat).. I really need to focus. I said no problem, maybe next week and wished her luck. That was last tuesday. I started giving up a little wince i didnt hear from her that whole time. Well this afternoon i decided to give it one last shot before telling her to let me know, as in you come to me next time if this doesnt work sort of thing.

 

Me: Hope those interviews went well. Also, i cordially invite you to Dave & Busters this week.

Her: I totally would but.. im broke lol. And the first one(interview) sucked, the 2nd was better at least.

Me: Ugh well it IS an arcade and it IS a date i wouldnt have minded treating ya

Her: If i dont get called for overtime.. then yes

Me say, Wednesday?

Her: Yes

 

So its just a matter of locking down a time and we have the place and day. Trying to keep messaging to a minimum especially with me usually being the first to contact. Usually just trying to make plans.

[boltnrun]

My mother always told me not to put all my eggs in one basket.

 

Are you communicating with other women? Setting up any dates?

[Coldarmy13]

My mother always told me not to put all my eggs in one basket.

 

Are you communicating with other women? Setting up any dates?

 

 

Yeah when me and my friends have gone out ive been social with women, but nothings come of it yet. Ive sent out messages but this is the only bite so far. Although she was the one id most want to have heard back from. Im not getting my hopes up and am proceeding with caution for sure.

[Coldarmy13]

Done deal. Five o clock on Wednesday

[janut1]

Don't get to hung up on her not texting you first. She really doesn't know you at all yet and we women, even younger ones are taught to let the man pursue us. It still takes me a lot to reach out first. If this goes further then the first meeting and you have more dates, then you will see how she really is with communication.

 

Have fun!

[Coldarmy13]

Ha! Yeah I'm looking forward to it. Little bit of the jitters today and nervous of the unknown but look forward to finding out.

[Ms Darcy]

Re-activated my OLD accounts for kicks. Didnt see anything really all that interesting, except this one girl so i decided why not? After 4-5 days of exchanging a few messages here and there, i asked to take her out sometime. She said that sounded nice and its easier to text if id like to. We exchanged phone numbers.

 

I have said this on other people's threads, and I think said the same to you last year in fact, but I would caution jumping into dating/joining dating sites/'talking' to women too soon. Everybody feels at least a little anxious when they are first single but it's a better time investment to really grow in yourself versus jumping from girl to girl, broken heart to broken heart and ultimately being alone for far longer.

[Realitynut]

^^^agree. And going to take this advice also. I just hope I'm not dead....before I can get back to the "meeting men" stage of my life.

[reinventmyself]

And . . take it all in stride.

 

I interpreted your exchange with her as a yes, no, yes, no, maybe and finally a yes.

 

It may be nothing. Just manage the expectations and let us know how it went!

[Coldarmy13]

Well a couple hours before we were going to meet: "So... I got mandated today... I just got home after 16 hours.. I'm not gonna be able to go out. I'm sorry.. I'm super lame I know.. "

 

me: "it's alright. That sounds awful. I guess let me know about another time"

 

I guess I have to leave it at that now. She didn't offer a reschedule or anything like that. Let her come to me now and assume she won't?

[reinventmyself]

Well a couple hours before we were going to meet: "So... I got mandated today... I just got home after 16 hours.. I'm not gonna be able to go out. I'm sorry.. I'm super lame I know.. "

 

me: "it's alright. That sounds awful. I guess let me know about another time"

 

I guess I have to leave it at that now. She didn't offer a reschedule or anything like that. Let her come to me now and assume she won't?

 

I would say so. I read her responses as lack luster. Now with the cancellation, you were a gentleman and left the ball in her court.

Let her pick it up.

 

I just got home after 16 hours - Honestly, if you really wanted to meet someone wouldn't you have rallied and at least shown up for a cup of coffee?

Or. . of course, rescheduled?

 

Carry on!

[Coldarmy13]

If what's she told me is true I can get if she worked 10pm and didn't get him until almost 3pm I can see where that would make it difficult to meet me at 5 with little to no sleep. But yeah, ball is in her court.

[Coldarmy13]

Someone tell me what inside I already know. That I shouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt and ask her out again in a couple of days..

[Coldarmy13]

She reached out last night and asked how I was. We had a bit of a chat about our weekends and then I mentioned we should reschedule once she's available.

 

Her: of course

Me: I'll hold you to that, owe me one

Her: yes I do

 

Now back to seeing if she takes initiative and tries to set something up. I asked about her version of a weekend (wed/thurs) and how that was shaking up. She said "Depends on if I get the overtime. It's crunch time now". So maybe she's just busy but either way to right thing for me to do would be to let her pick up the ball again I assume?

[janut1]

I hate to say this but it sounds like she is setting you up for another cancellation. "depends on overtime" which is a perfect out. I would wait to see if she follows through.