IAmFCA Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Understand that RL status on FB is a major major thing. I am an outlier, I know, but consider this: My bf and I are 7 months in. We are exclusive, bf/gf, and have met each other's kids, siblings, friends, etc. It's obvious we are moving towards marriage, which we won't quite say out loud because it's too real. So, that's how this 7 months has been for us. We are not even fb friends. I don't want to be. I want to learn about each other directly. I am fb friends with his friends. Also, we haven't changed our RL status on our fb pages. I have been wondering, when do I change it. I intend to change it only once. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Being exclusive is not the same as being officially in a committed relationship, I think you need to establish the boyfriend girlfriend status first. ] coldarmy: oh yes i remember you talking about that. i didnt know that's what u meant. i agree with the above quote. those r two totally different things. i dont think she backed out on being exclusive, because exclusive and "n a relationship" r two different things. it sounds stupid i know , but to me it has to be said out loud and discussed for it to be a relationship. right now ur still in the exclusive dating stage Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Right. Well I'll just think about what I'm going to say and how to make it not sound like a big deal. Link to comment
janut1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I am having such trouble communicating with my "friend" this week and I WISH I had him say he missed me like she does. I think mine is going downhill, but it sure looks like yours is going well. Again, I am a lot like you. I like to communicate at least once a day if not more. I feel like they are thinking of you when they reach out. I look forward to hearing what she has to say. As far as Facebook? I was with my X for 19 months and we never announced that we were in a relationship with each other. He did with his new gal though My now "friend" and I are not even close to a relationship, but we are FB friends which I regret doing so soon. If this does not work out and I date someone new down the road, I will not be FB friends with them at all unless we make a commitment. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Exactly how I feel about it Janut. I wasn't going to bring up Facebook at all. More that Shes made me happier than I have been in quite some time and that I'd love to be her boyfriend. Link to comment
janut1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Exactly how I feel about it Janut. I wasn't going to bring up Facebook at all. More that Shes made me happier than I have been in quite some time and that I'd love to be her boyfriend. That is a great way to say it! Let us know how it goes. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Hope this is the right thing to do! Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 I just read a bunch of earlier posts from a week ago when I initially was going to broach the subject. I'm confident that I need to do this, nervous, excited to put it out there and see what she says. I'm hoping she was just waiting for me to bring it up or just ask her. If not, it will hurt, depending on her reaction or what she says. Either not ready for that yet, or worse, not interested in dating seriously. But I know what I'll say in either scenario. One way or another, this is something I feel I need to do for me, hopefully it'll be best for the both of us. Link to comment
janut1 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I just read a bunch of earlier posts from a week ago when I initially was going to broach the subject. I'm confident that I need to do this, nervous, excited to put it out there and see what she says. I'm hoping she was just waiting for me to bring it up or just ask her. If not, it will hurt, depending on her reaction or what she says. Either not ready for that yet, or worse, not interested in dating seriously. But I know what I'll say in either scenario. One way or another, this is something I feel I need to do for me, hopefully it'll be best for the both of us. When are you going to do this? I forget. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 When are you going to do this? I forget. Hopefully tonight. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 youll feel so much better when u get it off ur chest, no matter the reaction im sure. right now it seems like a weight on ur shoulders Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 it's definitely weighing on me. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 i know it is. been there! and there's always the possibility that her reaction could be good, so... Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 She said yes! Link to comment
notalady Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Yay!!!! I'm so happy for you Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Good for you! You have to ask or you'll never know! Link to comment
janut1 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I am so happy for you! Now maybe you can relax! Congrats. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 She said yes! yessssss !!! **backflips** Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Perhaps now you can chill out? Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I'm afraid that the OP will continue to worry until he finds ways to manage his anxiety. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I think this is a good lesson to the ladies ... let him missssss you! Link to comment
GhostB88 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I'm sorry that I'm so late in joining this thread but it was so long that it took me a week to read it all! I had a lot to say along the way, but thankfully everyone else here have been so helpful and I am so happy for you that there is a happy ending like this. It seems so unrealistic and fairytale like, because my life experiences and others around me always end up in disaster, so please enjoy your amazing gift, and thank you for re-igniting the hope inside me and making me believe that "Love will conquer all" once again! Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Thanks for the positive replies. I have a bit of a cold so im stuck at home today. She works until midnight i believe. So im struggling to find things to do, boredom is killing me. I saw her thursday night (obviously) and stayed over through friday. We were both in bad shape all of friday. Bad hang over for me and "Shark Week" for her. We went grocery shopping and got stuff so we could make a nice lunch/dinner to cheer us up. Made crazy good sandwiches and snacks/sides. I planned on leaving that evening, but in sticking around helping her through the shark week troubles, ended up passing out on accident shortly after she fell asleep. I left Saturday morning before she had to get ready for work. She got in the shower right after i left and half way on my drive home she texted me saying she called off work and she was feeling worse than ever. I thought, bummer, I just left, but i knew it was probably best to go find my own thing to do and not just hang around her all the time. I went home and immediately changed and went to the gym with a friend for 2 hours. Hadnt heard much from her except later in the day when i asked how/what she was doing today. She said "laying in bed feeling miserable!". I told her i was going out but if she was still miserable later on i could bring her some icecream and the gag reels for a show she really wanted to see. She said "you should have fun on your day off not listen to me whine all night again". I feel like i over spoke when i replied "If i make your misery even a little better then its fun for me. Its no biggie though, let me know if you change your mind". Then i went out by myself to see if any of my favorite spots were worth going to, and they were ALL way busy. Even the low key ones. So basically my saturday was screwed. Couldnt park and im sure no place to sit. She hadnt replied to my earlier message so i told her that "Everywhere is too busy. Saturday fail". She said "Yeah saturdays suck!". I was feeling annoyed that i had nothing to do, and that she didnt show interest.. even though i had just spent the previous couple days with her. So i understood it. So i said "Yeah. I guess it's Netflix at home alone night". She then said "I mean if you get bored and are just going to sit at home anyway youre more than welcome to come here". I didnt know if i should or not, and let it sit for awhile before agreeing to go over there. Decided to pick up a "Care package" for her shark week issues with ice cream and snacks which she appreciated. She eventually fell asleep after i treated her to a full massage a little kissing. Somehow i felt like i should go instead of staying over yet again. So i woke her up and let her know i was going and that i just wanted to come by and try to make her feel better. She thanked me and said it was sweet. I went home, and woke up this morning, wishing i had stayed. I like this girl way too much. Ive been going out and to the gym as often as possible around my work schedule and have tried to get more into what i used to like doing before i met her. None of it seems the same. So i dont know if i have the same anxiety, but i do wonder what the hell is up with me. Im 30 and i dont think ive ever been so distracted by a woman. This is obviously an issue with me and im constantly looking for ways to relieve myself of it. But hey, we're bf/gf (no facebook yet) and i know i need to appreciate what it is. I still wish i heard from her a little more often, but i guess thats just one of the differences in us. Anyway, a little update on whats on my mind that im stuck at home feeling gross. TV doesnt do the trick of distracting me. It is the biggest mystery ever to me why im not completely stoked about everything. Probably just insecurities since its been awhile since ive been in a relationship that i wanted to be really serious. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 OP Please find a technique like meditation to manage your anxiety or you are not going to survive this relationship. Link to comment
GhostB88 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 It's ok to have these thoughts. It means you care about her and you love her. It is completely normal and natural. It means you are a human being. You are doing really well, so go to sleep and have some rest. Tackle any troubles you may have tomorrow. Rome wasn't built in a day. Link to comment
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